Residents rejoice as Coalition
forces bring democracy to Falluja
"My 14-year old son Ahmed would have loved to come out on
the streets today and celebrate by welcoming the liberating American forces,
had that Maverick missile not scored a direct hit in his bedroom last night,"
added a neighbour, Fateema Mohamed.
|Al Falluja, Iraq ….. Falluja, Iraq
- With the end of the US assault on resistance fighters besieged in the
Sunni stronghold of Falluja, Iraqi residents are celebrating the arrival
of democracy to their beleaguered town. US forces ushered democracy
into the lives of Falluja's inhabitants in mid-November with a week of
round-the-clock artillery and mortar bombardments, and air strikes, followed
by a full-scale assault by 12,000 troops supported by heavy tanks.
"For twenty years under Saddam Hussein, my dear husband
Kamal went to our local mosque every Friday evening to pray for democracy
to return to Falluja," said housewife Ayisha Kaseem, 45. "Last Friday,
he knew that his prayers had at last been answered when the three 500-pound
American bombs landed in the mosque killing him and 54 others," she added,
weeping with joy.
Democracy descends upon Falluja in the form of
a Coalition artillery barrage
"God Bless George Bush and the USA! The indiscriminate
bombing of our neigbourhood kindergarten has shown these resistance fighters
that the Coalition forces will not tolerate any violence as Iraq embraces
democracy!", said Tawfik Zakawi, as he tried attaching the severed limbs
of his wounded seven-year old daughter.
Commander of US forces in the Falluja area Lt-Colonel Herman
Heiss said that the liberation of Falluja from resistance fighters was
carried out with little loss of civilian life and property or disruption
to ordinary life. "Just look at the figures - as many as 10,000 civilians
are still alive and well in Falluja. That's nearly a whole five per cent
of its original population." Heiss also confirmed that more than
eight out of Falluja's 120 mosques were "still standing" and "at least
two houses" have been untouched by bombs or gunfire.
Local residents in Falluja waiting to greet their
|Local schoolteacher Ahmed Mustafa said that he was never
interested in politics before and expressed his thanks and gratitude to
the Coalition forces for opening his eyes to what real democracy is and
how the democratic process works. "By joining the Al-Mahdi Army Suicide
Brigades yesterday, I hope to truly express my appreciation to Coalition
forces for their efforts," he said as he was burying an improvised explosive
device by the side of the road.
"Allah be praised," said Taha Rachid, 80, as he buried
his wife and two grandchildren in his garden. "With democracy, no longer
will the future our children be decided by the acts of a few desperate
local gunmen - it will now be decided by a few desperate men in the
"Marines are also helping tidy the place up a bit by removing
all those unsightly body parts that are littering the streets," he added.
Heiss vehemently denied claims that the US had wanted
to completely obliterate the whole town as punishment for the acts of just
a few desperate insurgents. "Let me state for the record that I categorically
reject such allegations - there are not 'just a few desperate insurgents',
there are probably tens or hundreds of thousands of the stinking bastards,"
Meanwhile, in a sign that Falluja is now firmly under the
control of Coalition forces, incidents of suicide car bomb attacks and
roadside bombings in the town centre were reported to have increased by
600% since last week.
|He said that Coalition forces had employed the latest
military technology to ensure that bombing was carried out with surgical,
pin-point accuracy and precision. "For example, we made sure we gave civilians
prior warning of any impending artillery bombardment by first spraying
the area with heavy calibre machine-gun fire and setting it ablaze with
phosphorus bombs," Heiss stressed. "And we ensured that each and every
Apache attack helicopter dropped absolutely no more than just a mere 800
phosphorus bombs at any one time on any particular neighbourhood."
Heiss added that Coalition forces also ensured that the
sacred and holy places were also left unmolested. "Not a single oil well,
refinery or pipeline was attacked or damaged," he stressed.
Bombardments were carried out with surgical, pin-point
accuracy and precision.
During a tour of the city, Heiss assured residents that
the US offensive had completely broken the back of the insurgency, and
given it a massive migraine as well. "The resistance in Falluja has been
crushed, wiped out and is no more," he declared as insurgent mortar fire
exploded some twenty yards behind him.
"We have made Falluja safe for democracy and even I can
now walk its streets completely unharmed and unmolested," Heiss added as
he leapt ten feet behind a dustbin to avoid sniper fire from a nearby mosque.
The leader of the US-appointed Iraq Governing Council
Iyad Allawi called on resistance fighters to end their violence in the
run up to the country's elections in January. "Now is a time for hope,
peace and reconciliation," he stressed. "And if you don't like that, we'll
bomb your towns back to the stone age."
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||A dispatch by our Embedded
Satirist in Cambridge, Sabri Zain.
For an actual resident's account of the 'liberation' of Falluja, click