Abu Ghraib MPs protest
"This is the 21st Century - we should not rely on simple
generalizations. Each crazed military policeman is an individual, a person
|negative public image
Abu Ghraib, Iraq .... US Military Police
officers today expressed deep frustration over the casual stereotyping
in the media of the personnel involved in abuses at Abu Ghraib prison as
sick, brutal psychopaths. This followed the sentencing of about a
dozen US military wardens convicted for their involvement in the scandal
to a year's jail at Abu Ghraib itself, during which they themselves were
abused by another dozen or so wardens.
"As a sick, brutal military policeman myself, I feel hurt
and distressed by the negative portrayal of my profession in some of the
pinko-liberal media," said Corporal Susan London, 31, from Hunkydowee,
Alabama, stationed at Abu Ghraib since the invasion. "We are Americans
- none of us should have to live with this stereotyping and ignorance."
She then began screaming and kicking a gagged and blindfolded
Iraqi nearby. "It hurts that in this supposedly enlightened day and age,
people still make assumptions about other people like that," London said,
as she slowly inserted her truncheon into his anal orifice.
London and Kickasz: One for the family album
back home in Hunkydowee, Alabama
Another Abu Ghraib warden, Private First Class Chip 'Crusher'
Jones, 29, said that he himself has often been unfairly stereotyped. "Anytime
I approach an Iraqi prisoner with a bit of electric wiring and a wooden
club, he just blindly assumes I'm going to harm him," he said. "That really
hurts my feelings."
"Yes, I sometimes do crack their skulls and force prisoners
to perform fellatio n the name of law and order," he noted. "But there
is so much more to me."
"And others just like to watch," Sikfack added. "Some like
to see the sight of blood, others like anuses. I personally like to see
their eyes bulge and hear the gurgle in their throats as I ram my baton
down their windpipes."
Sikfack: Some of us like experimenting
|"I walk into a supermarket with someone's blood and teeth
on my trucheon and people immediately jump to conclusions," Jones said.
"We are victims of prejudice, and this can be very hurtful and frustrating,"
he said weeping while sharpening his blood-stained hunting knife.
"People forget that we are professionals, here to bring
freedom to Iraq and we take great pride in our work," said Corporal Jim
Kickasz, 32. Kickasz gained worldwide fame when international news agencies
beamed pictures of him fondling the buttocks of a human pile of half
a dozen abused Iraqi prisoners. "We have brought international recognition
to the War On Terror in Iraq. And what do we get for it? Bad PR."
According to Abu Ghraib Commanding Officer James Sikfack,
stereotypes against depraved, psychopathic military policemen don't work
because they don't take into account the vast diversity of professional
experience and expert skills among them. "There are so many different kinds
of depraved, psychopathic military policemen. Each of us has our own unique
reasons and motivations for the different and varied tasks we do. Some
like cutting flesh. Some like experimenting with electricity. Others just
like the brisk aerobic exercise from giving some stupid Iraqi a good beating."
Lickasz stressed the importance of understanding and celebrating
these different professional skills and expertise in the US Military Police.
"All the different people of the world have something special to offer
to each other," he said. "Our diversity is our greatest strength. Let's
not make a weakness out of that strength."
To emphasize his point, Lickasz lobbed a grenade into
a nearby jail cell, injuring nine.
"I'm proud to be a brutal, violent military policeman,
obviously," he said as the smoke cleared. "But, remember, I'm a professional
first. So eat this, you stinking towel-head!" he declared, as he rammed
the butt of his automatic rifle into a nearby Iraqi's face.
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