Currys electronics shops
to be investigated for links to al-Qaeda
Mr X denied that Rasul's earlier confession could have been
made under duress. "True, he had been routinely stripped naked, punched,
kicked, beaten, drugged, sexually humiliated and deprived of sleep every
day for over two years by his American captors. That doesn't necessarily
mean that he would agree to confess to anything they wanted him to, does
it?" Mr X said,
London . . . . Following today's announced release
of the last of the four Britons being held at Guantánamo Bay, British
Intelligence today said that they would be investigating Currys, the popular
British electronics chain store, for alleged links to Osama bin Laden and
the al-Qaeda terror network. A Briton from Tipton in the West Midlands
- Shafiq Rasul - had been detained without trial in Guantánamo for
more than two years and confessed that he had appeared in a video with
al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden and Mohammed Atta, one of the September
11 hijackers. However, subsequent investigations later revealed that
he had been working at a Midlands branch of Currys at the time the video
A spokesman for MI5 - Mr X - said that just because he
had been selling stereos and audio-equipment in Currys at the time and
was nowhere near Osama bin Laden doesn't necessarily mean that he was guiltless.
"For all we know, Currys could well have been peddling WMDs for al Qaeda
- Walkmen of Mass Destruction'."
Currys - a hotbed of terrorist activity?
"And the fact that a guard was holding a gun to his head
while he was writing the confession proves nothing," Mr X stressed.
In a related development, two suspected terrorists who
were released after being imprisoned in Belmarsh Prison without trial for
three years have been re-arrested by Dorset Police for attempted goat rape.
The arrest follows a revelation by the Independent newspaper
that the British intelligence service had admitted that the two men who
were suspected to have met in Dorset to elect a terrorist leader had actually
been there to get away from their wives for the weekend. Intelligence services
had been alerted to their presence by a Dorset farmer's suspicions about
a group of Muslim men looking at his goats.
Mr X admitted that a three-year investigation had revealed
the two men were indeed not terrorists at all but just ordinary husbands
who were fed up of their wives and wanted to "some time away in the Dorset
countryside with the boys."
The farmer who reported the men to the police said that they
had behaved suspiciously. "I don't take too kindly to strangers looking
at my livestock. But I never suspected that they had been terrorists. Rural
Dorset isn't exactly well-known as being a hotbed of terrorist activity."
Daisy and Myrtle are being detained for questioning
by the Dorset Police anti-terrorism unit
|"We concede our initial assessment
may have been slightly flawed However, we did put them behind bars
for three bloody years. And they are Muslims - so they must be guilty of
something," Mr X maintained. "So we have brought a number of the goats
involved for further questioning and medical examination by a local veterinarian."
Two of the goats - Daisy and Myrtle - are known to be
still at the Dorset Constabulary headquarters being interviewed by officers
from the anti-terrorism unit. "We are also examining other lines of inquiry
and have requested that a number of sheep and cows at the farm in question
to not leave the country. We are also not discounting the possibility of
poultry there being involved in some form of fowl play."
None of the Britons who were released from Guantánamo
Bay have to date been charged with any offence in the UK. "However,
this does not mean that we would abandon the practice of detention without
trial," Mr X stressed. "After all, we have to preserve one of the basic
principles of our democratic way of life and justice system - that everyone
is guilty until proven innocent."
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