WMD claims may have been "a wee bit exaggerated"
Analysis of high-definition satellite imagery was also not as high-defintion as once thought. An image that was initially thought to be Al-Musayyib Rocket and Biological Weapons Test Facility was later discovered to be the Al-Musayyib Camel Dung Treatment Factory. "Objects identified as anthrax fermentation tanks were later observed by troops on the ground to be camel dung treatment tanks. "Sure, the stuff smelled mean, but I don't think it'd kill a lot of people if you put it in an intercontinental ballistic missile."
Structures thought to be missile and nuclear warhead storage areas turned out to be a kebab and burger stall for the staff. Aluminum tubes centrifuges thought to be used for enriching uranium were actually piping used in the men's latrines."And a long cylindrical object identified as a long-distance mustard gas delivery system rocket turned out to be a large, inflatable rubber penis Saddam Hussein displayed for laughs at orgies in the Presidential Palace."
Reaction to the revision of the original report was mixed. A White House spokesman said that the revisions "did not conclusively confirm that there are no WMDs - they only conclusively confirm that we have a pack of jack asses running our intelligence services."
Reaction from the former UN Chief Weapons Inspector Hans Blix was brief. "Nyah, nyah nyah, nyah, nyah …. told you so … told you so …" he commented, as he stuck his tongue out, jumping and skipping merrily.
Bliar reiterated that the State Department regretted the
many small errors in the initial analysis of the intelligence data. "We
also apologize for any minor incovenience this may have caused folks in
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