GIFT OF 




The Globular Jottings 
of Griselda 




SMASH ! 



The Globular Jottings 

J cu 

of Griselda 



BY 



E. DOUGLAS HUME 



WITH ILLUSTRATIONS . 



WILLIAM BLACKWOOD AND SONS 

EDINBURGH AND LONDON 

MCMVII 



CONTENTS. 



CHAP. PACK 

I. VIA CHICAGO, SAINT PAUL, AND THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS TO 

VANCOUVER . . . . , . .1 

II. VI A JAPAN TO HONG KONG . . . . .14 

III. VIA SAIGON TO SINGAPORE ..... 26 

IV. KUALA LUMPOR ....... 38 

V. KUALA LUMPOR ....... 49 

VI. PERAK ........ 63 

VII. KUALA LUMPOR ....... 75 

VIII. TO PORT DICKSON AND SEREMBAN . . . .89 

IX. NEGRI SEMBILAN ...... 100 

X. KUALA LUMPOR, DUSUN TUA . . . . .109 

XI. KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS . .120 

XII. PAHANG ........ 135 

XIII. PAHANG. ....... 149 

XIV. FROM PAHANG VI A SINGAPORE AND PENANG TO CEYLON . 161 
XV. NUWARA ELIYA, DICKOYA . . . . .175 

XVI. MASKELIYA ....... 189 

XVII. DICKOYA, RATNAPURA . . . . . .199 

XVIII. RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE . . . . .212 

XIX. FROM COLOMBO VlA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI . . 224 

XX. JAPAN ........ 241 

XXI. JAPAN ........ 258 

XXII. SHANGHAI ....... 277 

XXIII. SHANGHAI ....... 296 

XXIV. SHANGHAI 314 



VI CONTENTS. 

XXV. SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VlA CHIPU TO TAKU . . 331 

XXVI. TONGKU, TIENTSIN ...... 348 

XXVII. TIENTSIN, PEKING ...... 367 

XXVIII. PEKING ....... 387 

XXIX. PEKING ....... 404 

XXX. PEKING ....... 418 

XXXI. FROM TIENTSIN TO CALCUTTA AND RAWAL PINDI . .431 

XXXII. RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN . . 443 
XXXIII. RAWAL PINDI, PESHAWAR, AND JOURNEY FROM BOMBAY 

TO LONDON . 457 



ILLUSTRATIONS. 



PAGE 

SMASH ! . . . . . Frontispiece 

THE MONKEY HELD THE GLASSES UP ... 28 

" FETCH JAM ! " I CRIED . . . . .84 

HE JUMPED SO HIGH IN THE AIR . . . .86 

ANEMONE MOST POLITELY HELD THE DOOR OPEN . . 308 

THEY LEAPT IN THE AIR LIKE THE PROPHETS OF BAAL 450 



The 

Globular Jottings of Griselda 



CHAPTEK I. 

VIA CHICAGO, SAINT PAUL, AND THE ROCKY 
MOUNTAINS TO VANCOUVER. 

" Go Joseph malay peninsula via pacific next steamer" 
I read, and stared blankly at the cablegram with its 
telegraphic disregard of capitals. 

The weather was really too hot for such a summary 
order. In the garden bright humming - birds were 
flitting from flower to flower. The sun blazed and the 
sky was cloudless. It was the month of June, and 
at Hamilton, in the province of Ontario, Canada was 
proving her right to her summer title of " Lady of the 
Sunshine." 

I, Griselda, of the Irish branch of the Marches, having 
left school and accomplished what, once upon a time, 
was known as "the Grand Tour" in Europe, had been 
receiving the Transatlantic finish proper to an up-to- 
date education by spending a year with friends in the 
New World. I was just contemplating my return to 
the old country when this most unexpected cablegram 
was thrust into my hands. It sounded quite Scriptural 



2 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

to be told to go to Joseph, but the reason for the man- 
date was incomprehensible. Was he ill, or threatened 
by marriage or somo other disaster ? I had not the 
remotest idea. I was simply told to go to Joseph, so 
I just made haste and went. Joseph, I may mention, is 
my brother in the Civil Service one of the " heaven 
born" of the Federated Malay States. 

I had a long way to go to get to him, but, fortunately, 
I had time to break my journey with friends. Chicago 
was the first stop. I reached it after a night and day 
in the train. I was the only woman in the car, and the 
kindness of the other passengers was overpowering. 
Every one wished to pay for my meals, and I was 
offered free railway passes in such profusion that if only 
I had been in the habit of starting without a ticket I 
might have travelled most economically. 

The couple of days at Chicago were spent conscienti- 
ously in viewing the sights. They appeared to consist 
chiefly of millionaires' houses. I was specially interested 
in one, the owner of which, I was told, had made his 
fortune in pea-nuts, it seemed so simple to sell them at 
a street corner that I wondered whether I might not 
succeed equally well. But life is full of disillusions. I 
subsequently understood that much more complicated 
methods had to be employed. The creation of a neigh- 
bour's wants has to be the fortune-hunter's prelude to 
ministering to them. Of course I was taken to the 
Corn Exchange, where I beheld a whirling mass of 
excited men crawling over each other's backs. They 
were said to be having a very quiet day. 

That same afternoon I continued my journey, sur- 
rounded by supplies of books, fruit, flowers, candies, 
and anything else my hostess fancied I might like. I 
had only known her a very short time, but then, 
as I had already discovered, the treatment of guests 
in America approaches the ideal. I was glad when 



CHICAGO, ST PAUL, AND THE EOCKY MOUNTAINS. 3 

the negro porter made up the beds for the night, 
as I anticipated being up early next morning to 
change trains at St Paul. However, when the sun 
rose, and I blinked out sleepily at a huge expanse of 
water, the negro poked his head through my curtains. 

" Guess yo' needn't get a hustle on," he drawled. 
"There's washouts all 'Ion' line. We don't make Saint 
Paul on time." 

Then I realised that the train was picking its way 
very cautiously, and that the Mississippi had a swollen 
body, for she was bulging with water over and above 
her own wide limits, and the railway lines seemed to 
be learning to swim. 

Presently the porter reappeared. " Guess you'll be 
wantin' all yo' time," he said. " We're at the break- 
fastin' station in twenty minutes. It'll be yo' only 
chance for a meal. We've to go right 'Ion' through 
Iowa to make Saint Paul." The whole accent is placed 
on the " Saint " in the local lingo of those parts. 

The breakfasting station was quite unprepared to 
breakfast an unexpected train-load of people. There 
was a tremendous clattering of knives and forks but 
a depressing scarcity of edibles. It was disappointing 
to have to return to the train as hungry as when one 
had left it, and spend a long wearisome morning. The 
porter was sympathetic. " Feelin' lonesome ? " he came 
and inquired at intervals, and took me excursions 
through the train by way of passing the time. At 
different stations we received fragments of news as to 
what had really happened. A terrific tornado had 
made havoc in the neighbourhood. The banks of the 
Mississippi had been washed away in many places, and 
endless bridges had been destroyed. 

At last, hours and hours late, our train crept into 
St Paul. At the same moment a luggage -train drew 
up at the opposite platform. It would take a lifetime 



4 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OP GRISELDA. 

to forget the sight of its gruesome freight. The trucks 
were laden with stretchers ; and as the wind blew aside 
their white coverings one saw faces blanched in death, 
rigid in agony, or absolutely battered out of all shape. 
Beside these half -hidden remains clustered men and 
women and children, many only half dressed, and all 
more or less maimed and disfigured. Nurses and 
doctors hurried up, and a crowd of agonised inquirers 
rushed through the station, some hailing living friends 
with happy tears, others bursting into wild grief as they 
found their worst fears realised. All the pent - up 
misery of life confronted one in grim horror. It was a 
moment when terror entered the soul and one quailed 
before dread existence in an inexplicable universe. To 
say the least of it, I was startled by hearing my own 
name shouted above all the noise and excitement. 
"Miss Griselda Miss Griselda Miss Griselda March!" 
It was not a voice from the clouds, however, as I was 
half inclined to imagine, but apparently issued from 
a little one-armed man who stood at the end of the 
platform swinging a ponderous bell in his only hand. 
I walked up to him and said, " That's my name ; " and, 
indeed, no other explanation seemed necessary, for he ap- 
peared to know more about me than I did about myself. 

" Guess you've missed your connection," he stated. 
"You don't get no train on to-night." 

" What has happened ? " I asked. " Where do those 
poor creatures come from ? " 

" From New Eichmond. They heard a noise like a 
dozen express trains coming slick upon 'em, and in five 
minutes the entire town lay flat like a pack of cards. 
Hundreds were killed and injured, I guess pretty near 
all the inhabitants, except a small few who got down to 
their cellars. In these tornado parts the houses are 
made with cellars under them, but a tornado don't allow 
much time for getting anywhere. Any friends here ? " 



CHICAGO, ST PAUL, AND THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS. 6 

" No ; none at all." 

"Guess I'll have to take care of you then. My 
name's Zinzindorf. I'm the C.P.K. agent. I was 
wired to see you make your connection. I've seen 
you lose it instead. Want to put up at an hotel?" 

" Please ; but not a very expensive one," I added, 
remembering the luxurious places to which my friends 
had taken me, and afraid that my funds might run 
short if many such unexpected demands were made 
upon them. 

"Wull," said the little man meditatively, "I guess 
Bill Sherman's '11 do. Bill's a friend of mine, so I 
can trust him to look after you." 

He deposited my rugs, &c., in safety, and possessed 
himself of my travelling-bag, his one arm doing the 
duty of ten. My mind was so full of the misery at 
the station that I did not notice the poor looking 
locality through which I was piloted. My guide 
continued to pour out recommendations. "Bill Sher- 
man's a good chap. I've known him intimately, and 
you can get a bath there," he announced, as though 
bathing were a luxury and quite unusual. 

In a short time I found myself introduced to Bill. 

" I'll come back in an hour," said the C.P.B,. agent, 
while I surveyed Bill, a portly person with red hair 
and a florid face. 

" Ought I to keep my bag locked up ? " I inquired, 
as I was shown into a bare-looking room. 

" I guess so, and yerself too," he answered, in a most 
inspiriting tone of voice. 

I gazed out of the window, but could see no sign of 
any more appropriate quarters, and I could not very 
well ask Bill to advise me where else to go. I decided 
that I had better make the best of things, and inquired 
the way to the bathroom. A dishevelled little boy 
escorted me. He apparently did duty as page. The 



6 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

door would not lock, so I asked him to keep guard out- 
side. He deserted his post at once, but it did not 
matter, for bathing was impossible after one look at 
the jaundiced complexion of that bath. My toilet was 
unavoidably hurried, and having completed it I sat 
down disconsolately on the only chair which my apart- 
ment possessed. Outside a gale was blowing; there 
were squalls of rain occasionally; thunder rumbled 
and lightning flashed. Suddenly some one knocked 
at the door, and, without waiting for an answer, the 
C.P.K. agent marched in. 

"I've come to take you to see the Falls of 
Minnehaha," he announced, without removing a very 
rank cigar which he held between his teeth. "May 
be you've heard tell of our great poet Longfellow," 
he continued, and sat himself down on the bed. 
"Wull, these are the Falls that he yarned about, 
and if you travel over the five Continents you'll 
never meet the comparison of such a sight. If you 
miss this opportunity it won't repeat itself. Good 
luck knows more'n to get the ha-ha to the face. I 
shouldn't be undertaking my dooty if I allowed you 
to pass Saint Paul and miss the spectacle of the world. 
If you're like me you'll like doing a thing thorough. 
I'll take you under the Falls and up to the fort. 
We'll have supper there, and I'll get you back 
between ten and eleven o'clock." 

" Thanks," I said ; " but I'm afraid it's too wet and 
stormy to go out." 

" That's so, but I've a closed carriage waiting. You 
can be as snug as a bug in a rug." 

" Thanks," I said again ; " but you see I don't want 
to spend money unnecessarily." 

" It won't cost you a red cent. I'll put it down in 
expenses. The C.P.B,. want you to have a good time. 
They want all their passengers to have a good time. 



CHICAGO, ST PAUL, AND THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS. 7 

And I want you to have a good time, because my 
only sister's Canadian husband had an English father 
and a pure Irish mother, so I want you to have a good 
time." 

" That's very kind of you," I said, " but I'm afraid I 
must be busy this evening and write some letters." 

The little man got up from the bed, to my relief, but 
only to stride across the room and face me majestically. 
" I know what you're thinking, you don't know who 
my relations are. That's so. You don't know who my 
relations are, and I don't know who your relations are, 
but as I know you for a lady, you can take me for a 
gem'man, that's the way of the world between strangers. 
I'm Pennsylvania Dutch, though I couldn't speak a 
word of the lingo to save my life. I'm aware there's no 
advantage arguing with a Cannuck, still less with an 
Old Country Britisher ; but, you know, you'll be safe 
with me under the Falls." 

I was not given much opportunity for argument, but 
I timed the interview by my watch. A whole hour 
was exhausted before it ended. I should have loved 
to see the Falls of Minnehaha, but to be under them 
with that bad tobacco was more than I could bear. 
Besides, I felt sure my family would not have ap- 
proved of such an expedition, and my mind, like many 
other people's, was inclined to try and follow the 
opinions of other minds, though it never succeeded, 
instead of cultivating decisions of its own. Mr 
Zinzindorf drew a most pitiable picture of a solitary 
evening, and then offered to come at seven o'clock and 
take me for a walk. 

" I'm afraid that would be rather late," I said. 

" No doubt," he answered, with great sarcasm, " you'll 
have retired to rest long before that," and thereupon 
stalked out of the room with offended dignity, relegat- 
ing the Falls of Minnehaha to the category of lost 



8 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GKISELDA. 

opportunities. He was right ; it was a pity to have 
missed them, and he meant to be so kind. 

I was very hungry, and succeeded in securing quite a 
satisfactory meal. It had left off raining, so soon after 
I went out in search of another hotel. I had always 
heard that a woman could walk about anywhere in the 
United States without any one taking the least notice. 
That evening seemed to be the exception to the rule. 
Most of the men in the streets turned round to look 
after me, and the inmates of several drinking -saloons 
came to the doors to stare. I was unconscious of any 
particular peculiarity in my appearance, but painfully 
conscious that I was carrying all my money in a little 
bag inside my dress. I thought it prudent to cut 
short my investigations and content myself with Bill 
Sherman's establishment for one night. 

I had to be called at cock - crow next morning to 
catch my train, but the Sherman household consisted 
of early risers, and everybody was up. My bill came 
to seventy-five cents, all inclusive a bed, two meals, to 
say nothing of the bath. " And it's not obligatory, but 
it is customary to give the bell-boy ten cents," added 
the youth with the dishevelled head. So my entire 
expenses amounted to the equivalent of about three 
shillings and five pence. Who maintains that it is 
impossible to live cheaply in the United States? I 
had to pay at the bar, where customers were already in 
evidence ; and as I wanted my fountain-pen filled for 
use on the train, and hated doing it myself, I thought 
I might as well make them of use. The individual 
nearest me was a young man in top-boots and a slouch- 
hat a typical looking Buffalo Bill. I said to him 
politely, "Will you please fill my fountain-pen?" 

"Why, certainly, gurl," he answered. "I'll help 
yer all I kin." 

I had never in my life been called "girl" by any 



CHICAGO, ST PAUL, AND THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS. 9 

man, and was astounded by this form of address from a 
cow-boy. In fact, I was so astonished that I could only 
stare him up and down. He looked extremely puzzled, 
totally failed to fathom the cause of my amazement, 
and filled my fountain-pen. In spite of their overflow 
in duchesses the United States are a true democracy. 

Mr Zinzindorf was at the station to see me off. 
He smelt stronger than ever of tobacco, and continued 
offended and dignified. The platforms were crammed 
with motley people, speaking unrecognisable languages, 
evidently immigrants of ambiguous nationalities. For- 
tunately there was not long to wait before the train 
came up and brought to a conclusion my first and last 
acquaintance with the slums of St Paul. 

I had now to travel along the Sault line until it 
connected with the Canadian Pacific Kailway at 
Moosejaw. I was sorry to miss the Canadian route 
through what might be the granary of the Empire, 
if the Yankees do not snap it up while Britishers are 
making up their minds. However, we passed through 
much the same sort of country continuous prairie, 
bare of trees except a few planted round the buildings 
of what are, no doubt, to become the great cities of 
the future. But at that time these embryo Chicagos 
were mere sieves which one could see through from 
the train. All the same, they were full of anticipations 
of coming glory. Their little central alleys were 
regularly labelled " Main Street ; " and even when they 
consisted of no more than a couple of shanties, those 
shanties seemed invariably placarded " City Hall " and 
" Grand Opera House." By the next day these germs 
of cities had dwindled considerably, not a single tree 
adorned a habitation, and sometimes a township ap- 
peared to be devoid of a single house. At any rate 
one station consisted of a sign-board dangling from a 
telegraph-pole. Few and far between were the men we 



10 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

passed, and of those most wore nets over their heads as 
a protection from the mosquitoes, which were unusually 
large and vicious. Here and there we saw a mud 
dug-out, or a heap of skulls to bear witness to the 
buffalo hordes that once roamed those grassy plains. 
After the heavy rain the train had to pursue its way 
very gingerly over the softened prairie. We were 
already five hours behind time. 

11 1 think I shall get out and walk," I complained 
to the darkey porter. 

" But jest think how long yo'd have to wait round 
for us at the next station," he observed. 

At last we reached Moosejaw, the connecting point 
with a waiting train-load of very impatient people. In 
fact, half the train had gone on and taken the observ- 
ation-car with it, so that we felt ourselves very badly 
used. Personally the observation-car was not much 
loss to me, as a more important item my glasses 
had failed as well. I never wear them, but only 
hold them up now and then on critical occasions, and 
yet they have a horrid habit of being broken just 
when they might be of use. Therefore I was not the 
least surprised, when day dawned in the Foot Hills, 
to find the wretched things positively shattered to bits. 
They could not have chosen a more inappropriate moment 
than just when the Eocky Mountains were looming 
into sight. Luckily Yankees are wonderfully ingenious. 
A man and his wife on the train actually mended them 
by means of a match and a toothpick and a large ex- 
penditure of thread. It took them an hour to do it, 
and they missed all sorts of scenic tit-bits, but declared 
that they did not mind. So after all I was able to 
gaze to my heart's content at the scenery over which 
the descriptive time - table provided by the railway 
company worked itself into such ecstasies that, on 
reaching the culminating-point of beauty, it found all 



CHICAGO, ST PAUL, AND THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS. 11 

its adjectives exhausted, and had simply to state pro- 
saically that "the view was very fine." 

To compensate for the vanished observation-car the 
porter provided me with a camp-stool on the little 
platform at the rear end of the train. This was against 
rules, so would of course be pleasant, I knew. After 
a little while, a young American with twinkling eyes 
asked whether he might presume to join me, and I 
had to allow him to, as I could not very well lay claim 
to a monopoly of the panorama. I soon found myself 
going into scenic hysterics, like the guide-book. I was 
not so much impressed by the mountains as I was by 
the mighty gorges and canons, the river, a thousand 
feet below, the bridges swinging it seemed in mid-air, 
the enormous glacier of the Selkirks, as large as all 
the combined glaciers of Switzerland. The scenes kept 
continually changing from dusky crags to dazzling 
snows ; from long - stemmed pine - forests to soft, 
luscious, rose - scented greenery. One grudged night- 
time, when such a fair world was masked ; but it was 
glorious to wake with the sun to fresh treats of 
grandeur and beauty. We passed Ked Indians muffled 
up in European clothes, and Chinese busily washing 
for gold in the rivers. When the train stopped, the 
young American risked being left behind and got down 
and picked me bunches of flowers. Once four men on 
a hand-car hitched themselves on behind us, and we 
made minute inquiries as to their mountain life. We 
could not extract a single syllable from them, and as 
they never interchanged a word with one another, we 
imagined that they must be suffering from the form 
of dumbness said to result from solitude. The American 
was most anxious to know whether their womankind 
had fallen victims to the same complaint, and though 
the men on the hand-car as usual had no answer, he 
insisted that he saw one of them smile sarcastically. 



12 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

The train was advertised to stop at the most im- 
portant views, so that they might be imprinted on our 
memories. Unfortunately I interfered, though in all 
innocence. At Glacier House an hotel built in chalet 
style every one left the train for luncheon. I happened 
to remark that we were much behind time and would 
be certain to arrive very late. To my surprise, a man 
opposite banged his fist on the table. " No such thing ! 
Do you suppose I can't get that train along ? I'm the 
Conductor, and I wager I'll be on time at Vancouver." 
I was really not the least anxious for this indeed was 
extremely disappointed when we rushed past all the 
points specially reserved for observation. It showed 
the danger of unnecessary remarks made for the sake 
of concocting conversation, and reminded me of the 
Bible warning about having to account for every idle 
word. I certainly had not the remotest idea that I 
was lunching with the Conductor, but of course nothing 
should be unexpected in North America. 

My expectant friends were just as well pleased that 
they were only kept waiting half-an-hour, and it meant 
a little more time in which to explore Vancouver, with 
its background of snow mountains, its foreground of 
blue waters and its forests of giant trees. In Stanley 
Park one cedar measured nineteen feet in diameter ; 
while another monster tree formed a huge platform, 
suitable for any modern Swiss Family Robinson ; and the 
hollow trunk of a third could have been used as a coach- 
house and stables combined. But there were only a 
couple of days to spare before starting my ocean voyage 
on the yacht-like white-painted Empress boat, which 
my friends boarded with me so as to commit me into 
the special keeping of everybody on board. The anchor 
was weighed ; the Chinese sailors let off their crackers, 
and away we glided through the Narrows, rejoicing in 
a deceptive calm that turned to a storm in the open 



CHICAGO, ST PAUL, AND THE KOCKY MOUNTAINS. 13 

sea outside Victoria. It was blowing so hard that the 
C.P.R. tender took a long time to come alongside ; and 
a C.P.R. luminary, who had come out on her to see 
me, pelted me with boxes of chocolates and flowers, 
for fear he could not give them to me in a more con- 
ventional way. He scrambled on board at last by 
means of a rope-ladder, and wrote my name in large 
letters all over the captain's cabin to secure my im- 
portance in advance. Once more there were good 
wishes and good-byes last good-byes to Canada. Then 
we set our faces westwards, though it seemed a contrary 
proceeding, considering that the Far East was the goal 
of our voyaging, and that we were about to steer our 
course to the Land of the Rising Sun. 



14 



CHAPTEE II. 

VIA JAPAN TO HONG KONG. 

ON board I found myself one of a trio of specially 
privileged passengers. The others were a lady with 
a handle to her name and a nice middle-aged man, first 
cousin to a Duke. At least he never referred to any 
of his connections, but his ducal relationship was 
mentioned for him by everybody else. We three sat 
next the captain at meals, and we were personally con- 
ducted by him on to the bridge and given afternoon 
tea in his cabin. 

This was a real voyage, quite different to the float- 
ing hotel conditions of the transit across the Atlantic. 
Before the end of it I had grown so nautical that I 
was incapable of counting time except by bells. I 
had explored the Empress almost from truck to keelson, 
and called all her parts by their technical names. I 
even understood what was happening when the quar- 
termaster ran up on the foc'sle head and touched his 
cap to the chief officer, who, with his feet on a mooring- 
chock, was leaning over the rail. " The captain's com- 
pliments, sir, and he wants to know if the anchor is 
aweigh, and if not, why you have 'vast heaving ? " 

The chief officer answered in a very strained tone, 
" Tell the captain the fifteen shackle is not in sight yet, 
but the anchor has just come to the hawse, flew up 
with a back hitch of the cable on the crown and a turn 



VIA JAPAN TO HONG KONG. 15 

round the shank, and the whole lot is foul of the stern ; 
and tell him I'm going to hook the cat on, and if the 
crown and the fall will stand it, I shall heave it up and 
clear it on deck." 

The quartermaster touched his cap again, and an- 
swered, " Ay, ay, sir : " but the important point to me 
was that I understood. 

The first fortnight was spent far out at sea, with 
never a trace of land except the Aleutian Isles, which 
were Delusion Isles for all we could see of them. There 
was nothing but water, water, almost as still and un- 
rippled as a stagnant farmyard pond nothing but a 
veil of fog drawn over it, seldom letting in a peep of 
sun. Mother Carey's chickens would sometimes flit 
round the vessel's bows, some acrobatic porpoises would 
turn a few somersaults in our wake, or a shoal of black 
fish stare at the white Empress intruding on their 
rights. Damp mists bathed our cheeks and cold winds 
dishevelled our hair, till suddenly, without warning, the 
chilly North and the dingy West took a hasty depart- 
ure. A sky of the most aesthetic blue and green and 
grey tints unrolled itself before us, flecked by clouds 
with jagged edges, facsimiles of those on Japanese fans. 
A sharp outline of purple mountain on the horizon 
seemed to defy the maxim that nature knows no lines. 
The sea was transfigured, and was soon dotted with 
quaint, brown-sailed fishing craft. It was good-bye to 
the West, to the practical, the prosaic ! We were in 
the glorious, flaming East, with its picturesqueness, its 
languor, and its brilliant, sensuous beauty. We cast 
anchor in Yokohama harbour, and there, in the scorch- 
ing month of July, I made a first bowing acquaintance 
with Japan. 

The introduction was so hurried, and so soon rele- 
gated to a mere memory, that it seemed as if in a 
dream that one rickshawed one summer evening down 



16 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Isazakicho Street of the Theatres where paper ban- 
ners formed an avenue as they flaunted jauntily from 
the playhouse walls. The whole illumination consisted 
of paper -lanterns, which flung a tinted radiance 
orange, magenta, purple on the kimono-covered crowd 
passing on its way in a silence only disturbed by the 
monotonous click-clack, click-clack of the " geta " or 
wooden clogs. The little native shops were filled in 
careless profusion with cloisonne vases, china teapots, 
silk embroideries, and all the dainty knick-knacks that 
people treasure as curios in the West. And while below 
men still bought and sold, and artisans fashioned their 
cunning devices, above on the open storeys doll-like 
figures flittted to and fro, and rid themselves of their 
kimonos, quite unabashed, and lay down to sleep with 
hard wooden pillows propping their slim little necks. 

But ten o'clock soon came the appointed hour for 
returning and the captain, the Duke's cousin, the Lady 
with the Handle, and several others, made quite an 
assemblage on the bund. Just then a solitary rickshaw 
came up with one pathetic occupant, a German Fraulein 
of uncertain years, who had come all alone to explore 
Japan, and was staying behind at Yokohama. She 
appeared to have travelled much all by herself, and 
was always very timid and silent. Her only statement 
in regard to any subject was, that she found it " sehr 
interessant." But as she joined our lively party, and 
we asked how she came to be out so late all alone, her 
eyes grew hungry, and she was startled into a longer 
answer. 

"At the hotel I found it very 'langweilig." She 
spoke in German, and no English equivalent seems to 
express the word with its intensity of boredom and 
weariness. "Only," she added hastily, "it is 'sehr 
interessant.' " 

Away across the bay the Empress blinked a sleepy 



VIA JAPAN TO HONG KONG. 17 

welcome. We had boarded our sampan and it swayed 
on the water. We were parted from the lonely figure, 
the poor Fraulein with the forlorn little plaint who yet 
found everything so full of interest. The Duke's cousin 
said he felt he ought to have stayed with her. 

" How much better charity could flourish if it were 
not for the proprieties," he complained. 

He had always been kind to her. No one else had 
troubled much about her, and yet everybody had been 
so good to me. The reason for the distinction was so 
topsy-turvy, for the thirty years or so of time that 
divided us ought to have made them much nicer to her. 
But a woman's day is short. Her sun sets soon ; and 
unless she has secured her solar system of family life, 
there may be no planets to lighten the night time. 
Still, after all, whether in sunshine or darkness, to work 
the will of the Creator seems the only sure method of 
making life lonely or otherwise always "sehr in- 
teressant." 

At Kobe I was presented with a letter beginning 
" My dear Cousin," and I was at once received into the 
open arms of relations of whose existence I had known 
nothing before. Unfortunately, " familiarity breeds con- 
tempt " in Japan as elsewhere ; and, instead of studying 
the customs of the country, I was at once taken to watch 
the usual round of tennis and croquet and cricket that 
goes on monotonously wherever there are Britishers, 
regardless of whether they happen to be inhabiting a 
homely country parish, an equatorial desert, or a ter- 
restrial paradise. Owing to the American element base- 
ball was also indulged in at Kobe, and, judging by the 
bands playing in every direction, one might have fancied 
oneself back in the United States. It happened to be 
the 4th of July, and " Stars and Stripes " and " Marching 
through Georgia " woke Yankee echoes among Japanese 
surroundings in the most incongruous way. The 4th 

B 



18 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

of July was much feasted as well as trumpeted, and as 
a result, the captain of the steam-launch, on which we 
hoped to return to the Empress, decided that a cruise 
round Kobe harbour would be much better for our 
health. From midnight almost to the dawn we were 
forced to explore the watery surroundings of Kobe, 
while the captain of the launch offered to fight any one 
who suggested other employment for the night. Hot, 
sticky, and worn out we stood wearily awaiting disaster, 
our one and only consolation that the captain of the 
Empress was also ignominiously forced to take part in 
this nocturnal cruise. Had he not been with us we 
should certainly have been left behind at Kobe. As it 
was, the Empress had to be patient till the effects of 
the 4th of July celebrations took a somnolent phase. 

Everybody expects letters from any one who is 
travelling, though they could not be filled with a more 
inconvenient desire. I stayed in the saloon and missed 
seeing most of the Inland Sea, so as dutifully to indite 
my doings to my relations, and spent the remainder of 
the time regretting that I had not given myself up to 
the study of the scenery, as no presentiment told me 
that I was to pass twice again through the Inland Sea. 

I was up at daybreak to help to keep station on 
entering Nagasaki harbour. The sun rose as we passed 
Takaboko or Pappenberg, as the Dutch named it the 
island maligned to globe-trotters as the one from which, 
in days gone by, the converts of the Jesuits used to be 
thrown over into the sea. Most history books, however, 
quite exonerate Takaboko in this respect. The beautiful 
hill-surrounded harbour was filled with steamers and 
sampans, and here and there a graceful sailing-ship 
spread her sails in the morning light. The captain 
escorted the select trio on shore to explore the fascin- 
ating town ; and in the afternoon we crossed the hills 
to the fishing village of Mogi the usual passenger 



VIA JAPAN TO HONG KONG. 19 

jaunt and saw the bamboos, the rice-fields, the fir- 
trees, the unembarrassed blend of things Eastern and 
Western which is so marked in Japanese scenery, and 
none the less in Japanese character, and perhaps ac- 
counts for much of the mystery of their marvellous 
proficiency and success. 

As we steamed from Nagasaki the aesthetic atmosphere 
of Japan faded gradually. The influence of China already 
enveloped us, and the waters of the Yangtse jaundiced 
the sea that is known as " Yellow" far beyond the 
river's mouth. Yet at night the most brilliant phos- 
phorescence illuminated the darkness, and lighted up 
our faces and broke in sparkling shivers under the 
vessel's bows. Each wave had a halo of glory ; and in 
our wake a pathway of silver radiance stretched sky- 
wards to the horizon, a presentment, it might be, of the 
light that " shineth more and more unto the perfect 
day." 

The Empress dropped most of her passengers at 
Shanghai, and then a few days afterwards ended her 
voyage at the ideal destination, Hong Kong. In the 
noonday glare and heat Victoria nestled white and cool- 
looking at the foot of the green- sided Peak, where man 
has assisted the Creator by clothing the hill with trees, 
adding to the brilliant tints of the natural vegetation. 
The earth where exposed was ruby red, and the water 
varied from emerald to sapphire. Beyond Kowloon, on 
the mainland, the mountains rose steep and abrupt, 
their colouring like the opal and amethyst. Taimoshan, 
the " great military watch mountain," about 3000 feet 
high, was the chief point that towered beyond the 
" Fragrant Lagoon " the name by which our possession 
is represented in Chinese characters. 

The heat was paralysing. One envied a great brown 
junk, which was having water sluiced through bamboos 
on to her sunburnt sails, as if in an effort to cool her. 



20 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Yet activity was certainly the general example. Steam- 
launches puffed here, there, and everywhere ; sampans 
were rowed backwards and forwards, women almost 
always in charge, and babies tumbling about them in 
every direction. These sampan - dwellers are a race 
apart ; many thousands live afloat in Hong Kong har- 
bour, and have separate flats, as it were, in one sampan, 
the bows and the stern being quite distinct residential 
quarters. We were surrounded by shipping of all sorts, 
from rusty old tramps to spruce, polished men-of-war ; 
from four -masted barques to trim little yachts, and 
bulky Chinese junks with big goggle eyes to spy out 
the way they should sail in. 

Again I was surprised by unknown friends coming 
on board to meet me. 

" Don't ever change your name," the Duke's cousin 
advised. "It seems to be an ' Open Sesame ' every- 
where." 

" We have come to take you to bathe," announced 
the unknown friends. 

I was arrayed in spotless white linen, and was natur- 
ally a little startled. 

" Dear me, do I look dirty ? " I asked. 

They hurriedly explained that they intended no re- 
flection upon me, but that bathing was the fashionable 
employment of the hot weather. 

So we went to bathe in a fussy launch, which carried 
quite two dozen or more people to a little bay beyond 
the Lymoon fort, where every one put on bathing 
apparel. The hostess was very proper, so the ladies 
were sent in first, while the men stood in a row on the 
launch to watch them. If they had disported themselves 
in the water at the same time they would have had 
much less view of saturated forms and clinging garments. 
That is the unfortunate part of extreme propriety, it 
generally overreaches itself. 



VIA JAPAN TO HONG KONG. 21 

We had tea on the launch coming back ; and the 
return from American to English society was sternly 
emphasised by tea-cups passed me in frigid silence by 
all over whom the formula of introduction had not been 
mumbled. My tongue grew so tired of inactivity that 
at last I volunteered an observation to a plump young 
man who sat near me. He grew red in the face and 
very embarrassed. I discovered afterwards that he 
owned a title with suitable accompaniments, and was 
quite the catch of the season, or would have been had 
not July in Hong Kong been entirely unseasonable. 
His excessive timidity was therefore perhaps excusable. 
When he found voice to reply, several others chimed in 
energetically. They had been most anxious to talk, 
but had not ventured till an example had been set 
them ; so, after all, insular formalities have their ad- 
vantage, for while they crush down personal initiative 
on one side, they send it bulging up on the other. 

Once we went ashore it was a mercy to have done 
with people and think only of shops, the shops of 
Hong Kong, with their wares of silk, silver, ivory a 
list that would read like the presents the Queen of 
Sheba brought to King Solomon. It was hard to tear 
oneself away, hard to pass the flower-sellers with their 
itinerant gardens, and be trundled off in a rickshaw 
through the streets crowded by soldiers and sailors 
and a mixed European population, and the Chinese 
pushing and staring and shouting always shouting, 
no matter whether they be argumentative or amicable. 
What else can be expected of a nation untroubled by 
nerves, all having been destroyed by the effort to 
remember some of the 30,000 or more characters of 
its written language, and enunciate four or more as 
the case may be, according to the particular province 
intonations over each single sound of its speech ? 
Conversation can scarcely be anything but noisy when 



22 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

the most minute deviation from the correct undulation 
of the voice may totally alter the meaning of the 
intended word. We left the crowded streets of 
Victoria and climbed the steep hillside by a cable- 
railway, said to have the honour and glory of being 
the first Asia ever possessed. We mounted. Below 
us lay the harbour, bathed in the golden glory of 
evening, with the deep -tinted mountains a frame to 
it, and the ships of the nations lolling drowsily on 
its burnished waves. In the glow of the sunset 
Hong Kong looked a true emerald isle of the far- 
away East, set in a casing of rubies and sapphires, 
till presently her coloured gems were wrapped away 
in downy cotton - wool clouds, and only sprays of 
diamonds were left to flash from the ships and the 
tiara -like coast -line of light. Then we reached the 
top of the Peak and exchanged the queer little train 
for sedan-chairs, in which we were trotted away with 
by coolies to a rhythmic swing that sometimes has the 
same effect as a ground-swell upon bad sailers. We 
were carried along the neatest asphalt paths that inter- 
sected the natural wild greenery of the mountain top, 
and led the way to jaunty little bungalows and flower- 
filled gardens, where the residents could spend the 
summer months in a state of damp coolness, and enjoy 
exquisite views over an island - dotted sea and the 
southern mountains of the Flowery Empire. All was 
perfectly still and peaceful. Not a sound was to be 
heard but the coolies' grunts and, in the distance, 
sleepy strokes on a gong announcing the hour to " chin 
chin joss" in some far-away temple. 

No greater contrast to North America could have 
been found than the Peak at Hong Kong, or rather 
Mount Kellett, where my unknown friends had a 
bungalow. They were not altogether left there in 
undisturbed peace, for a typhoon had recently blown 



VIA JAPAN TO HONG KONG. 23 

down half the house, and, in consequence, I had to 
share a room with a cageful of canaries. They were 
very early risers, and from the moment of waking 
never left off practising singing in Chinese ; but one 
must be personally acquainted with a Chinese - bred 
canary to appreciate the feelings of the audience when 
half a dozen of these birds give lusty vent on each 
piercing note to the four intonations, especially about 
five o'clock in the morning. 

Another typhoon blew up for my special edification, 
it seemed, though I could have done without the 
attention. We were out when it began, and we had 
to leave our sedan-chairs and crawl along on our hands 
and knees to avoid being blown over one of the many 
precipices which the tidy asphalt - paths seemed to 
delight in skirting. Our raiment travelled ahead of 
us in the most alarming way, and it was hard to 
believe on getting in that nothing more than our hats 
had actually been torn off us. All the windows and 
doors had to be shut tight and barricaded as well, 
and the condition of damp coolness inside changed to 
one of damp heat that was almost insufferable. We 
resigned ourselves to the inevitable and went to bed 
early, after depositing our clothes in the drying-room. 
That apartment is an absolute necessity to any house 
at the Peak during the summer. Any belonging that 
does not pass the night in the drying-room is certain 
to be covered with green mould next morning. During 
the winter everything cracks with dryness, I was told, 
and the conditions are exactly reversed, so the climate 
understands variety. 

The typhoon passed by, so to speak, on the other 
side, and next day not a leaf was stirring when I was 
taken down to the Happy Valley. It seemed suitable 
to find everything at peace in such a quiet spot, where 
the race-course on the level looked more incongruous 



24 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

than the cemeteries on the surrounding hillsides. 
Beautiful Hong Kong! One's body could find many 
a worse last resting-place than the slopes round the 
Happy Valley. And life should be pleasant on that 
verdurous island, transmogrified from the bare barren 
rock which the British took possession of in 1841, 
and now a great market of the world, instead of, as 
then, the mere home of a few labourers and fishermen 
and the scene of incessant piracies. One could not 
help wishing that 20,000 opium -chests had not had 
anything to do with the acquisition of such a pretty 
bit of the British Empire. People of the place, when 
they remembered history at all, insisted mostly on the 
iniquity of the Chinese in burning the chests, and the 
fact that the poppy was grown in China itself, and 
that the mandarins openly smuggled in the drug while 
hypocritically denouncing the traffic. All that was 
very true, no doubt; but, nevertheless, one looked at 
the hideous wrecks of humanity one passed now and 
again, and wished that rice and grain had always taken 
the narcotic's place on the plains peopled by the under- 
fed millions of India. 

But I had not many days in which to discuss the 
opium or any other question. The morning broke on 
which I was to say good-bye to Hong Kong, and the 
old French steamer that was to carry me on lay ready 
to start at mid-day. I went on board. My friends- 
unknown no longer wished me good speed, and the 
" cloche du depart " sounded. Just then I noticed a 
launch shoot from the wharf and head towards us 
furiously. I caught sight of an anxious face and a 
pair of binoculars riveted on us. Nearer and nearer 
bustled the launch, but already the first pulsations of 
awakening machinery vibrated the sides of the old 
French steamer. The launch bounded up. The bin- 
oculars were dropped. A man's figure started forwards. 



VIA JAPAN TO HONG KONG. 25 

A second bell rang. The Sydney gave a heave. The 
next moment we felt ourselves in full motion. I 
wondered vaguely whether the late arrival had caught 
us in time ; but, after all, what did it matter ? What 
did anything matter, except the fact that Hong Kong 
was fading in the distance and a typhoon said to be 
imminent. I curled myself up on the poop and wept, 
for the world seemed suddenly uncomfortably large 
and I proportionately small and insignificant. 



26 



CHAPTEE III. 

VIA SAIGON TO SINGAPORE. 

" MAY I fetch you a chair ? " some one suddenly 
inquired, and I discovered that the launch had caught 
the steamer, for its English occupant stood before me. 

I had left the poop to make the gloomy discovery 
that everybody except me had come on board provided 
with deck-chairs. The Englishman, it seemed, was no 
better off than I was. However, being Britishers and 
therefore natural colonists, he thought we ought to 
adapt ourselves to circumstances, which we did by 
appropriating two of the best chairs and remaining in 
discreet ignorance of their lawful possessors. So, in 
our own estimation monarchs of all we surveyed, we 
lolled at ease on our borrowed seats and took stock 
of our surroundings. 

The French steamer was an ancient vessel. Eain 
poured in through battered awnings. Natives slum- 
bered heavily on the hatches. Bales of fruit blocked 
the decks in every direction. The passengers consisted 
of an American professor addicted to vivisection, a few 
French women in very airy attire, several mercantile 
men of Eusso - Hebraic extraction, and a couple of 
Greek Church missionaries with long flowing beards 
and costumes that looked like night-gowns, and evi- 
dently did duty as such, judging by their crumpled 
appearance. There was also a mild lunatic, who made 



VIA SAIGON TO SINGAPORE. 27 

use of a canvas-covered basket of fruit as a couch for 
his afternoon siesta. As he vanished lower and lower 
into its pulpy depths it was pathetic to watch the juice 
ooze out over the deck in agitated trickles. Last, and 
least in point of size, we numbered a Japanese diplomat 
with his wife and family. The wife had to mount a 
chair to reach the looking-glass in her daily struggle to 
cope with the intricacies of European fashions. 

We left Hong Kong on a Saturday, and early on 
the following Tuesday morning we entered the Saigon 
river. At ten o'clock we dropped anchor at Saigon, 
where the French tricolour at once greeted us. Flags 
and uniforms play a large part in French colonisa- 
tion. France has no overflow of population, but 
colonies give her pleasant scope for paraphernalia and 
officialdom, and though they seem to be rather a 
source of weakness than of strength, the Tonkinese 
possessions enable her to sit down comfortably and 
handicap British trade in Southern China. So the 
French cannot consider that their Asiatic expenditure 
is altogether wasted. 

The Englishman suggested that we should go on 
shore and make a day of it, like an 'Arry and 'Arriet, 
and as there was certainly not a suitable chaperon on 
board I consented to do without one. We squeezed 
into a tiny conveyance like a rat - trap, and were 
dragged away by a mouse - like pony. We passed 
several French officers mounted on the same kind of 
steeds. They had to keep their feet well hitched up 
in the stirrups to prevent their being forced to make 
use of their own legs. We found Saigon a pretty 
looking town, with good shops, fine public buildings, 
and charming boulevards. In spite of the heat, mos- 
quitoes, and lizards, it had a sort of volatile French 
effect that seemed almost flippant in the Orient. 

Our rat - trap driver discoursed volubly, and was 



28 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GBISELDA. 

most anxious to introduce us to the sights, but, as he 
spoke pidgin-French, his information was more fluent 
than comprehensive. However, the Englishman was 
all-sufficient as a guide-book, and told me how the 
first cessions of land were granted to France in return 
for the help Louis XVI. gave the King of Anam in 
overcoming some rebels. "Preserve me from my 
friends," the potentate might have exclaimed, could he 
have foreseen the future when Cochin China, Anam, 
Cambodia, and Tonquin were all to fall under a Gallic 
yoke, and be known as French Indo-China. It was 
easy to see that Saigon was a great military centre, 
and, with man's love of exactitude, the Englishman dis- 
covered that there were 1000 French soldiers there 
at that time, and a large force of Anamites under 
French officers. The hot, moist stickiness of the 
climate made us ready to believe that there was a 
huge hospital in the place, with 1500 beds for European 
patients, besides a native hospital and a Pasteur 
institute. 

As we did not wish to take advantage of these 
medical preparations, the Englishman considered that 
we had better try and cool ourselves by a rest in the 
botanical gardens. Unfortunately, our advent there 
was heating. We got out of our rat-trap beside a 
monkey's cage. I stopped to survey the inmate 
through my lorgnon. 

"How he would like to get hold of these," I re- 
marked ; and the words were not out of my mouth 
before the glasses were snatched from my hands, and 
the next moment the monkey held them up and stared 
at me consequentially. 

We got them back at last ; but it was an agitating 
process, as no one came to our help, and a great tiger 
shook the bars of his flimsy cage and roared at us 
ferociously. At last we went on, in a chastened mood, 




THE MONKEY HELD THE GLASSES UP. 



'** 



VIA SAIGON TO SINGAPORE. 29 

past an iguana lolling on a stump, with his front feet 
they looked like hands crossed in a devotional atti- 
tude. A little farther on a big crane squatted on his 
haunches a most inelegant attitude for a bird of his 
size. All around us were the beautiful trees and shrubs 
of the botanical gardens, refreshed by showers of rain, 
continually turned on like a hose. The river wound 
sleepily past us, with a few sampans floating along it. 
We watched them pass round the bend, and leave us 
without a human being in sight except the driver who 
slumbered on top of the rat-trap. We sat down near 
an enclosure, where some horrible-looking, long-billed, 
heavy -pouched adjutant birds dug their cruel beaks 
into the unfortunate fish supplied to them for their 
dinners. Suddenly a piercing squeal broke the silence 
an uncanny sound that got on one's nerves, for there 
was not a man, woman, or child anywhere near to have 
produced it. The only solution to the mystery seemed 
impossible, for whoever heard of a tortured fish giv- 
ing vent to a heartrending protest? However, the 
Englishman observed, "I have been told that there are 
screaming fish in the China seas. After all, why 
shouldn't there be ? There are flying-fish and travel- 
ling fish ; why shouldn't there be screaming fish ? " 
There seemed no reason against it, especially as the 
truth of the assertion appeared to have been just proved 
to us. 

We returned to the rat-trap after this, and let it 
take us away from the botanical gardens. Then we 
deserted it and went by train through swampy country 
to Cholons, an outlying suburb of Saigon. There was 
only one other occupant of our railway carriage, and, 
feeling so remote from anything English, we were so 
rude as to indulge in some audible criticisms. Unfor- 
tunately for our peace of mind the train stopped at a 
station, and the individual in question popped his head 



30 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

out of the window and hailed a passer-by : " Hullo ! 
old man, you're the very chap I want. No time now. 
Come round to my diggings. So long." Conversa- 
tion on our part diminished, and we were left with 
leisure to digest the moral, which is to be prepared 
for the ubiquitous Britisher, even in the back of 
beyond. 

On returning to Saigon we decided to dine on shore, 
and questioned an officer we met as to the best 
restaurant. 

" Le cafe Olivier," he informed us. " On ne mange 
pas bien, mais on mange moins mal." 

We considered him fastidious, as we partook of an 
excellent dinner of about a dozen courses ; and after it 
the band played, and Saigon seemed more than ever 
French and frivolous. 

We listened to the music for a little while, and then 
found another miniature conveyance with a pair of 
mice attached. We got in, and gave the driver full 
instructions to take us back to the landing-stage. The 
ponies dashed off at a gallop, their speed out of all 
proportion to the length of their legs. At first it was 
very pleasant. The steamy atmosphere felt refreshing 
as we went whirling through it at that break-neck pace. 
We left the town and careered down country roads, 
where we caught glimpses of native huts tucked away 
among the shadows, and above the tree-tops the moon 
blinked at us in a condescending way. It all seemed 
so natural and familiar to me, who had spent the first 
decade of my life under tropical skies. But by degrees 
there seemed something very unnatural in our not 
coming upon any symptom of a steamer. The English- 
man thought the driver had better be interrogated as 
to our whereabouts. I called out to him in pidgin- 
French, with which I was becoming more conversant, 
but my inquiries were left unanswered. The patter of 



VIA SAIGON TO SINGAPORE. 31 

the ponies' feet was the only answer vouchsafed. The 
Englishman then took part with more forcible figures of 
speech, but still we continued to whirl along the roads 
as if a hostile army were after us. All other measures 
proving ineffectual, the Englishman pulled the driver 
backwards off the box and brought the ponies to a 
standstill. I inquired, sternly, where we were going, 
and gathered that our jehu had not the remotest idea. 
He had been engaged to drive, and had undertaken his 
duty : where and how were details with which he evi- 
dently thought he had no concern. Indeed, had it not 
been for our drastic methods, that drive seemed as if 
it might have been prolonged into eternity, continued 
in our next edition by our ghosts. As it was, however, 
it was brought to a conclusion, and we returned pro- 
saically on board. 

In the middle of the night a splash of oars woke both 
the echoes and the passengers, and a chorus of voices 
rippled out "Tra la la, tra la la la la, ra la la, tra la." 
Farewells and " au revoirs " followed, then the oars 
splashed once more, and again the light-hearted chorus 
broke into a dainty melody as the singers rowed back 
to the land of exile, into which, in spite of drawbacks of 
climate, they have instilled something of the charm and 
piquancy of " la belle France." 

Next morning several French officers were added to 
our party. 

" Good chaps," said the Englishman. " Such nice 
manners." 

I thought so too as the day wore on and each in turn 
made me an offer of marriage with the most courteous 
unanimity. But when I told the Englishman, he only 
said, " Consummate asses," with a sudden change of 
opinion that was very rude under the circumstances, as 
I explained. 

" It would be interesting," I said, " to make a list of 



32 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

the names one has never heard that one might have 
changed one's own for." 

But the Englishman considered this too Irish a task 
to undertake. 

The Frenchmen gave pleasant accounts of life at 
Saigon, with its dinners and concerts, but had a 
different story to tell of Tonkin, where they were 
quartered in huts in which they had to hold up their 
umbrellas when it rained. 

In addition to the officers we shipped a large pass- 
enger load of mosquitoes. They were evidently sea- 
sick at first, for we saw nothing of them for a day, and 
then they emerged, lean and famished, to convert us into 
a Carlton restaurant. In spite of all I suffered from 
their ravages, I took advantage of the two and a-half 
days' voyage from Saigon to Singapore to be instructed 
in the history of the Malay Archipelago. The English- 
man's knowledge was as widespread as his experiences. 
He had " shaken the clubs and the messes," just as 
Kipling describes, and now belonged to " the legion 
that never was listed," and was as much an unconscious 
maker of Empire as those early adventurers who, in 
search of a fancied Eldorado, first discovered the far- 
away countries of the East. A soldier's grave ulti- 
mately received him, and an assemblage of the chief 
generals voted him bravest hero of the South African 
war. But his finest laurels were, like many another's, 
those that bloomed in obscurity from the gold-diggings 
at Kalgurlie to the " Aurea Chersonesus," or " Eegio 
Latronum," as he told me the ancients had also described 
Malaya with more practical truth. 

Perhaps a few other people are as ignorant as I was, 
till informed by the Englishman, that a woman was 
specially concerned with the early history of the Lion 
City Singhapura, or Singapore. It seems, according 
to native writers, that it was founded in 1160 by emi- 



VI A SAIGON TO SINGAPORE. 33 

grants from the banks of the river Malay u in Sumatra, 
and that the Javanese made repeated attacks upon it, 
but were always repulsed. However, nearly a century 
after the founding of the settlement the chieftain of 
the settlers married the beautiful daughter of his 
Bandahara or viceroy. His other wives, out of 
jealousy, brought accusations against her, and she 
was condemned to a shameful death. The Bandahara 
could not even induce the prince to mitigate the 
severity of the death sentence, and, in revenge, he 
admitted the Javanese by night into the citadel. The 
Singhaporeans were driven out, to found a new colony 
at Malacca, from which point the Mohammedan Sumat- 
rans quickly overspread the Peninsula, and the sultans 
of the Malay States to this day pride themselves upon 
their descent from the royal line of Menankabau in 
Sumatra, the accredited parent home of their stock. 

The Portuguese, under Albuquerque, reduced Malacca 
in the sixteenth century, so that the enterprising com- 
munity again sought fresh pastures and founded the 
kingdom of Jehore, which still rejoices in an independent 
sultan of its own. Everybody knows for even I knew 
without the Englishman telling me how the Dutch took 
Malacca from the Portuguese, and finally ceded the town 
to the British, who had already formed a settlement on 
Penang island and made a port on the island of Singa- 
pore, which had reverted to its primitive condition of 
a jungle-covered waste. Such was the origin of the 
Straits Settlements, which became a Crown Colony 
under the Colonial Office in 1867. But I had no time 
nor need to study their history any more by hearsay, 
for my unchaperoned journey round half the globe was 
completed, and Singapore lay stretched before me by 
the water-side. 

The Englishman, in a learned way, had affiliated the 
Malays to the Mongol stock with intermix tures^of black 

c 



34 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Papuan and pre-Malay Caucasic elements, and said that 
the race was believed to have found its way from high 
Asia to Sumatra at a time when the island still re- 
mained part of the mainland. In the present day, he 
said, the inhabitants of the Peninsula might be classified 
as the aboriginal Sakais harmless, unclothed jungle- 
dwellers, rapidly becoming extinct ; the Mohammedan 
Malays a pleasant, indolent people ; and a largely 
mixed foreign population, of whom the greatest pro- 
portion are Chinese. As assortments of the hetero- 
geneous population Malays, Chinese, Eurasians, Boy- 
anese, Dyaks, Javanese, Manilamen, Anamese, Klings, 
Armenians, Siamese, Singhalese, &c., &c. clambered 
round the vessel, jabbering in unknown languages, it 
really seemed as if the Tower of Babel incident could 
only have just then taken place. Tiny Malay boys 
upset their canoes for our edification, and boats crowded 
round us, filled with pink and white coral, which we 
were entreated to buy. Still it was a quiet harbour 
scene as compared with Hong Kong, and I had no 
difficulty in spying out a man on the wharf, in a white 
suit and a solar topi, whom I at once recognised to be 
Joseph. 

" Then you aren't at death's door after all," I 
called out, "or suffering from some fearful calamity. 
I couldn't imagine what could have happened when I 
got that cable. Indeed I'm none the wiser now. What 
is the matter ? " 

" Nothing that I'm aware of," Joseph coolly answered ; 
and I discovered that no important occurrence, but a 
simple and remarkable desire for my society, had 
brought about the despatch of the cable and my con- 
sequent expedition round the world. 

A most gentlemanly-looking Chinese with an excep- 
tionally long queue took immediate charge of my be- 
longings. Joseph gave him a few directions, which he 



VIA SAIGON TO SINGAPORE. 35 

received in a nonchalant way that showed them to be 
mere waste of time and breath. His inscrutable person- 
ality bore the consciousness of four or five thousand 
years of more or less civilised ancestry, and I dwindled 
palpably in my own estimation before the polite con- 
descension of my brother's Chinese boy. 

Joseph and I got into a gharri and rattled past 
Wallich's Hill, through the town, along the esplanade, 
past Raffles' Hotel called after the founder of British 
Singapore, Sir Stamford Raffles out on to the Tanglin 
road, where we soon reached our destination, a pretty 
creeper-covered bungalow. 

Our hostess, in happy unceremonious eastern style, 
was just going away on a visit, but she left her husband 
behind her, and a host can often be all-sufficient for a 
guest. This one at once gave us the use of his carriage, 
so Joseph drove me through the native part of the 
town, where Chinese were working in the shops and 
Malays basking outside them, while specimens of all 
the other races before mentioned disported themselves 
before us as if they had been specially collected to give 
us an object-lesson in anthropology. Our eyes were 
not given a moment for rest, and, above all, our noses 
were overworked in the most scandalous way. 

Joseph stopped at an animal dealer's and bought a 
small brown monkey, called a b'rok. The larger species 
of the same name are trained by the Malays, he in- 
formed me, to climb cocoa-nut trees and throw down 
the nuts. A young tiger was running about loose, and 
frisked round us like a magnified kitten ; while a full- 
grown animal, destined for some zoological gardens, 
crouched near by in a cage, the picture of utter woe. 
He had not even the consolation of knowing himself 
to be a martyr to science, condemned to a life of miser- 
able boredom for the sake of the education of selfish 
humanity. 



36 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

On the esplanade a cool breeze stole in from the 
harbour and fanned the flamboyants, whose scarlet 
blossoms made the trees look as if they were in a 
terrible heat. The best equipages we passed were 
owned by Chinese, who drove up and down in pompous 
dignity, or sometimes left their conveyances to the use 
of their womankind. Before going in we went to the 
lovely botanical gardens, passing over red-tinted roads 
and by tangles of ferns and creepers and trees. The 
whole island seemed a garden where the vegetation 
tumbled over itself in its eagerness to grow fast. 
Heavy scents hung on the air. A languorous calm 
brooded over the earth. Tropical nature exulted in 
her motherhood, and under one's very eyes and nose 
brought forth from the teeming treasures of her rich 
maternity. 

The climate felt quite deliciously cool at dinner, 
under gently swaying punkahs in a large open hall 
where civet cats, or "muaangs" as the Malays call 
them, ran in and out and asserted their privileges as 
pampered and over-fed pets. But punkahs are chiefly 
reserved for meal times in Malaya. There were none 
in the other rooms ; and later on that evening the 
sky seemed to have descended and to be clasping my 
head. The atmosphere felt as if it had gathered me 
up and wound itself tightly round me. I struggled 
in its grasp, and choked as I felt myself enveloped. 
Outside the frogs croaked and insects hummed and 
night-birds joined in the chorus of harmonious discords. 
You must be wooed by the tropics before you are 
won. You must pant and gasp and struggle to be 
free before you sink upon the soft warm breast, and 
in yielding find delight in the rapturous clasp and the 
burning kiss of the Orient. 

As Joseph was stationed in Selangor one of the 
Malay States on the Peninsula he, the Chinese boy, 



VIA SAIGON TO SINGAPORE. 37 

the monkey, and I had all to commit ourselves next 
day to the waves. We steamed slowly past a great 
Kussian vessel, crammed from stem to stern with human 
beings, said to be convicts destined for Saghalien, but 
in all probability emigrants of the type militant. We 
passed a picturesque village standing on stilts above 
the water. We passed the fortified shore ; we passed 
the fortified islands, all placid and verdant and tree- 
covered, as though they had no acquaintance with any- 
thing not wholly peaceable. We pitched and tossed 
while the western sky changed from carmine and 
yellow ochre to a deep-toned royal purple, and sheet- 
lightning flashed like searchlights above the darkened 
sea. 

We passed Malacca in the night, and about the 
middle of next day we turned into the Selangor 
river. 

On either side of us were low-growing trees which 
raised stumpy heads to a monotonous level above 
the water. Here and there logs were propped up 
by the trunks, and every now and then one of them 
shifted its position and edged away slowly, leav- 
ing one to realise, with a shudder, that the apparent 
harmless piece of wood was a gruesome crocodile. 
Sand-flies and mosquitoes found their way on board, 
and malarial fever seemed to brood visibly over the 
sluggish river, from which the sunshine glared in 
pitiless heat. Joseph, by way of consolation, told me 
that we had almost reached the landing-place, Klang, 
Selangor J s former port. My heart sank within me. 
What was this new abode which I was nearing ? 
What could a country be like which was shut off 
from the outer world by a torpid mangrove swamp ? 



38 



CHAPTER IV. 

KUALA LUMPOE. 

" AH ! this is better," I said to Joseph as our vessel 
cast anchor and we went ashore at Klang. 

A little native village nestled by the water-side with 
the tops of a few European houses just visible. Palms 
and the long smooth leaves of plantain-trees broke the 
monotony of never-ending mangrove swamp. Malays 
idled on the bank of the river, while Chinese made 
themselves useful as usual, and Klings, as the Tamils 
are called in the Peninsula, shouted raucous comments 
on the general proceedings. 

The train was waiting, and Joseph and I were invited 
into the Resident's special carriage. Of course I took 
the monkey with me, though Joseph expostulated. He 
recovered from his displeasure sufficiently to point out 
all objects of interest. For this I was rather sorry, 
as I was extremely bored by my surroundings. The 
compartment was boxed in by shutters. It was labori- 
ous to peer under them and then only to be rewarded 
by the sight of a regular tangle of jungle, interrupted 
every now and then by prim-looking coffee estates. 
Joseph explained that the coffee was Liberian, and, 
though very nice to drink, only fetched a miserably 
low price in the market. 

"What in the world, then, do they plant it for?" 
I asked. "They surely don't think they're philan- 
thropic and improving the scenery ? " 



KUALA LUMPOR. 39 

The next time Joseph drew my attention to the 
outlook I retaliated by a rhapsody upon the canons 
of North America, and so prevented his continuing to 
invite me to screw my neck. The heat was oppressive. 
The shutters were intended to keep off the sun, but 
as that luminary had disappeared behind the jungle 
they only succeeded in shutting out the air. However, 
it was not a long journey. After about an hour and 
a half the train drew up in a blaze of light and we 
emerged on to an electrically-lit platform, and Joseph 
demanded triumphantly whether I did not find Kuala 
Lumpor station a worthy substitute for Victoria or 
Charing Cross. 

He was much disgusted because I continued to clasp 
the monkey's basket, and the delinquent inside thrust 
out her arms and nipped his acquaintances by the leg 
when he brought them up to be introduced. Joseph 
rather naturally thought this was not at all the sort 
of first impression a sister of his should make. But, 
monkey and all, we soon scrambled up behind a horse 
that was pawing the ground impatiently, and Joseph's 
spirits were restored as he resumed his office of cicerone. 

" Chow Kit's motor," he explained, as our steed 
jumped and swerved and a fussy vehicle snorted 
past us. 

" A motor out here ? It belongs to a Chinese ? " 

Astonishment was natural, for in those days auto- 
mobiles were not too plentiful, even in Europe and 
America. 

" Why not ? " said Joseph. " A Chinese is the most 
go-ahead of men once he has shaken off conservatism 
and China. Straits -born Chinese go in for all the 
novelties. Ah ! what do you think of that ? " 

I positively gasped. 

Before us stretched an open green the cricket and 
hockey ground of Kuala Lumpor. Beyond it, on the 



40 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

farther side, was an unpretentious bungalow which 
Joseph described as the Selangor Club, known by its 
familiars as "the Spotted Dog." On our immediate 
right rose the object of wonderment a great building 
of white stone which had the polished sheen of marble. 

"The Government offices/' said Joseph, introducing 
them, and I candidly confessed that I had not seen 
such a beautiful building for many a day. Joseph 
smiled patronisingly at my raptures. He had never 
indulged in any written description of Kuala Lumpor, 
capital of the Federated Malay States, and was now 
enjoying a thorough exposure of my ignorance. He 
pointed to the Government offices. "They'll make a 
fine ruin," he said. 

He suggested that he should drive me home through 
the Lake Club Gardens, and Bushranger, a Waler with 
splendid paces, sprang forward as if he acquiesced in 
the idea. We bowled over perfect roads, past rounded 
hills with sloping swards, past fantastic palms and 
stretches of lily-covered water, where wreaths of mist 
shimmered steely grey in the starlight. 

"Joseph," I whispered, "this is fairyland." 

Joseph pulled up in front of a long, low porch lit up 
by Chinese lanterns. Flowers and ferns hung in swing- 
ing pots, and the air was scented with stephanotis. 
Two cream-coloured Siamese kittens, with brown noses 
and paws, came bounding out to meet us. The monkey 
seized one by the tail. It scratched Joseph all over in 
wild protestation. Joseph added his comments to 
the kitten's, and I felt thoroughly at home in Kuala 
Lumpor. 

Evening certainly seems the proper time to arrive at 
a fresh place. There is something so delightful about 
waking to a new world next morning. It feels like a 
sort of rehearsal of one's advent into a future state. 
My first day at Kuala Lumpor began about six o'clock. 



KUALA LUMPOR. 41 

The sun came creeping up over the jungle. The voices 
of the night were silenced, and the birds began with 
much bustle to make their plans for the day. The 
dew shone like diamonds in the garden, where masses 
of magenta bougainvillea and violet-coloured thunbergia 
made gaudy daubs of colour where they clung to some 
trellis-work. Purple convolvuli covered the verandah. 
The dainty petals were still unfolded, but would close 
later on during the heat of the day, for they lead a 
nightly existence, and go to sleep in the daytime a 
very sensible arrangement in countries where the sun's 
attentions are much wanting in tact. The bungalow 
was raised above the ground, for Europeans in the 
Peninsula follow the example of the Malays in that 
respect. The rooms opened on to a verandah which 
stretched the whole length of the bungalow. All round 
was the hothouse scenery, where ferns and creepers ran 
riot, and travellers' palms, talipot palms, areca palms, 
screw palms, and palmyra trees looked as if they were 
competing for prizes at a show. The air felt fresh to 
our faces as Joseph and I started out for a ride along 
the smooth red roads between tangles of wild luxuri- 
ance, where the wilderness blossomed with the treasures 
of English conservatories. Near the natives' houses 
grew dark-leaved durians, bread-fruit trees with great 
green pods, and slim-stemmed papayas which evidently 
held old-fashioned views of the sexes, as the appearance 
of the gentlemen trees was obviously unlike that of 
their lady friends. We had not been out long before 
the mists rolled away from the valleys, and clear across 
the plain, like a frame to the picture, stood the back- 
bone of the Peninsula the sapphire- tin ted mountain 
range. After a gallop on the racecourse, we returned 
to the pretty hills on which the English bungalows 
were dotted, and round which the roads had a pro- 
voking habit of winding, bringing one back to the 



42 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

place one had started from. But as no less than seven 
met outside our bungalow in consequence known as 
Simpang Tujoh, or Seven Dials there was not much 
danger of getting lost. 

After breakfast, defects began to show up which one 
could ignore earlier in the morning. The house stood 
on the side of a hill a great mistake in that country, 
where a through current of air is above all necessary. 
The drawing-room had a square table in the centre, 
with a circle of chairs round it. That was also de- 
pressing. " Joseph/' I said, " I used to give you credit 
for taste." 

" Oh ! don't move the things," he expostulated, as I 
shunted the furniture. "Nipis insisted on arranging 
the house. You'll hurt his feelings." 

"Who's Nipis?" I asked. 

"The Malay for thin or lean," said Joseph. 

"I don't see any sense in your answer." 

" You'll see less in Nipis." 

"What's that? what's that?" exclaimed a voice 
from the verandah, and a plump individual, with a 
smile like the man in the moon's, pushed his way in 
through the curtains. 

"Talk of the devil," said Joseph. "Nipis, let me 
introduce you to my sister." 

"Allow me to present my first offering," he said, 
bowing unnecessarily low, considering his superfluity 
of figure. Close upon his heels waddled an extra- 
ordinary animal. 

" Oh, really, is that for me ? How very interesting. 
Is it a Malay curiosity ? " I asked. 

Our visitor seized the misshapen creature. "It's a 
dear little dog," he explained. " The dogs of the Malay 
Peninsula are following up Darwin's theory. They're 
trying all sorts of mixed marriages. They're seeing if 
they can't evolve a new species. Baron Huntrabbit 



KUALA LUMPOR. 43 

pronounced Huntbit, of course ; he's got the title, 
though his pedigree is a little Eurasian Baron Hunt- 
rabbit, for example, belongs to a class of his own. Yes, 
dear little doggie, he belongs to a class of his own." 

Lord Huntrabbit pronounced Huntbit grinned 
with his tail in the foolish way dogs have, looked very 
pleased with himself, and made himself thoroughly at 
home. 

" I can't hang about here all day," said Joseph. No 
one had asked him to. " Here, Nipis, you look after 
my sister. We know your office hours belong to a 
class of their own. Griselda will need help. She's got 
to interview a tukang jait and an ayah, and she doesn't 
know a syllable of Malay. Griselda, here's a vocabul- 
ary ; it'll give you every word you can possibly want." 

Joseph departed. My visitor laid down his topi and 
took an exhaustive look round the room. " A woman's 
hand, that's evident. All the furniture shifted already. 
Ton my word, it's wonderful ! Why couldn't I have 
stuck it about in just the same way ? " 

I was not required to answer this conundrum, for the 
tukang jait (anglice tailor) arrived at this moment, and 
Nipis was delighted to show off his fluency in Malay. 

* Tell him I want two things done at once : I want 
a plain thin shirt waist" my expressions then were 
aggressively American " and a jabot of chiffon added 
to trim this bodice." 

Nipis opened his mouth only to shut it. The tukang 
jait, with no knowledge of English, had comprehended 
as much as the interpreter. Suddenly Nipis clapped 
his hands to his head. " Excuse me, excuse me," he 
cried, seized his topi, and shot out of the room. 

I was quite alarmed. "What's the matter?" I 
shouted. 

" Excuse me, excuse me," he repeated ; " I've just 
remembered that I quite forgot to shave." 



44 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

So I had to continue my interview unassisted, and 
found it more difficult than I had imagined. Joseph 
had told me that Malay was made use of by all nation- 
alities in fact, that it was a common thing to hear 
Chinese from different parts of China talking together 
in that language, as their own dialects would be no 
more intelligible to each other than Double Dutch. But 
what he had not explained was that Chinese Malay was 
by no means a Malay's Malay, and that a Tamil's or a 
Bengali's Malay was something very different again. 
The tukang jait was a Bengali, and all the servants 
available were Chinese. None of the words they 
uttered were to be found anywhere in the vocabulary, 
for the simple reason that Joseph had never told me 
that the Chinese dispose of their r's in quite a classy 
way, only they change them into 1's instead of w's. 
By the time my patience was exhausted, and the tukang 
jait was on the point of dissolving into tears, a Kling 
presented himself on the verandah and, salaaming low, 
thrust an enormous volume before me. 'Diary of a 
White- Ant Killer ' was printed in huge letters on the 
outside. Ah Song the gentlemanly servant with the 
long queue the tukang ayer, or water-carrier, a very 
responsible domestic in a Malay States establishment, 
the tukang jait, and the Kling, went through a panto- 
mimic display to signify that I was required to add my 
observations to the white -ant killer's diary. I could 
not understand how I was to contribute to such an 
interesting autobiography, beyond stating that it seemed 
obvious that he could never have run up a tailor's 
bill. I was wondering whether this was a suitable 
fact to draw attention to, when I suddenly remembered 
that strange noises had awakened me in the morning, 
and that when I looked out through my doorway I had 
noticed the monkey descend from her perch and stare 
inquisitively under the house. This recollection made 



KUALA LUMPOR. 45 

me realise that the unclothed Kling was, in his own 
line, a Government official, and that he wished me to 
report upon his labours in clearing away all traces of 
white ants' ravages from under the floor of the bungalow. 
This point becoming clear, he salaamed profusely with 
much satisfaction, but a great difference of opinion 
followed over the length of his toils. The white-ant 
killer demonstrated his opinions with a great deal of 
vehemence, while the'tukang jait dried his tears and 
became blandly conciliatory now that somebody else 
was in the wars. The tukang ayer explained everything 
in Chinese, which only added to the confusion ; while 
Ah Song looked on in gentlemanly indifference, and 
went off in the middle to brush his hair the most 
sensible thing he could do, as it took a whole hour's 
attention every day. The heat and the altercations 
were exhausting, so, satisfied or dissatisfied, I sent 
everybody away. 

No suitable ayah was forthcoming, so Ah Song was 
installed as a masculine lady's-maid, or rather lady's- 
boy a post often filled by a Chinese man-servant in 
the Far East. The suitability of the system is a mooted 
question, as the strictness of Celestial ideas on matters 
of feminine decorum is universally known. Be that as 
it may, Ah Song made an ideal attendant. His fingers 
were as dexterous as any woman's, and one's garments 
never received such tender attention from the smartest 
of French lady's-maids. 

To be a lady's-boy is no sinecure in a climate where 
one's belongings have to be continually shaken and aired 
to prevent their becoming mouldy and insect-eaten, and 
where, owing to the perpetual moisture, one is ever- 
lastingly changing one's clothes. If you get up at six 
and go out in the cool of early morning, it means you 
must make a fresh toilet before you appear at breakfast 
at nine o'clock. Even if you spend a quiet morning on 



46 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

the verandah you will probably have to change again 
before tiffin at one. After tiffin you are sure to be in 
such a state of damp heat that, even if you do not need 
an hour or two of rest, you will certainly have to change 
again before you appear for the afternoon. The sixty 
minutes from five to six are the most momentous of the 
twenty-four hours. From five to six you drive, leave 
cards, play golf, tennis, or croquet, and then it is sud- 
denly dark, otherwise you would certainly need to 
change again. If you are neither vain nor nervous of 
chills you may appear in a crumpled state at the Club, 
and play cards or study the papers under a punkah. 
Dinner is a late function generally, though, of course, 
Chinese servants can serve it to you at any time. They 
could dish it up for you in ten minutes if you were 
suddenly filled with a desire for it at eleven o'clock in 
the morning. It appears a matter of supreme indiffer- 
ence to them if a dozen guests arrive unexpectedly. If 
your own household goods or edibles are insufficient, the 
accommodating customs of the East allow your domestics 
to borrow from your friends. Your belongings will be 
loaned in their turn whenever your neighbour's needs 
so require ; and you must never at some one else's 
dinner-party be startled to see your own crest upon the 
forks and spoons. 

A series of dinners initiated me into the society of 
Kuala Lumpor. Joseph and I dined with the Resident. 
We dined with the Resident- General. We dined with 
all the Government officers in turn. Each of the four 
Federated States Selangor, Perak, Negri Sembilan, and 
Pahang has its own Resident, with a Resident-General 
supreme over all four ; while the Governor of the Straits 
Settlements holds highest office of all as High Commis- 
sioner. To be " Government puny a," as the Malays call 
it that is to say, belonging to the Government service 
is to be at the height of Malay States society ; but as 



KUALA LUMPOR. 47 

there are practically no depths the heights are not 
unduly exalted by contrast. As almost every one 
is " Government punya," no one has much opportunity 
for airing superiority, and officialdom becomes so mono- 
tonous that any variation of it, in the shape of 
planters and miners, is quite a welcome relief. A few 
army men find billets with the Malay States Guides 
the military force of Sikhs and Pathans which garrison 
the British Protectorates ; or with the police force of 
Indians and Malays, also officered by Englishmen. 
Most of the men in the States are known familiarly 
by the initial letters of their official titles, so that, if 
E.G., J.K., D.O., &c., are to become intelligible, the 
first accomplishment for a stranger is the acquirement 
of a kind of disordered alphabet. 

Joseph considered that I treated the sacred Govern- 
ment machinery with levity. "These are the model 
colonies of the British Empire,' 7 he informed me sen- 
tentiously. " Here we start from the first with all the 
latest improvements and innovations. We avoid the 
mistakes that were made formerly. Here we have 
created model colonies, an example for all the rest." 
" Only they are not colonies." 

"No ; Protectorates. The band plays " 

" Kule Britannia at functions instead of " 

" The National Anthem. Precisely. That's the dif- 
ference." 

I explained to Joseph that I could not live up to the 
dignity which his position demanded. Circumstances 
were always against it. On the first occasion when I 
went to return calls I tied on a veil at Joseph's special 
request, regardful of appearances and regardless of the 
heat. But my trouble was quite unnecessary, for the 
master of the first house I arrived at came out to 
meet me, carrying a large white wa-wa, or gibbon ape, 
apparently asleep in his arms. As I came up, staring 



48 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

at the curiosity through my glasses, a white wa-wa 
is very precious and rare, the creature struck out a 
sudden ferocious blow straight from the shoulder 
Joseph described it as a left-handed Fitzsimmons 
which sent my hat flying and tore my veil in two. 

" Sheer case of jealousy," said Nipis, who happened to 
be present and gallantly rescued my hat. " Jealousy, 
you know, is sincerer flattery even than imitation. It 
should be more gratifying than thousands of compli- 
ments." 

I wished I could think so, as I tried to put my hat 
on straight without a looking-glass. 



49 



CHAPTEK V. 

KUALA LUMPOR. 

THOUGH I considered it my duty to administer judici- 
ous snubs to Joseph on the score of official conceit, 
I certainly did not discredit his statement when he 
described the Federated Malay States as colonial pro- 
digies. The wheels of administration run very 
smoothly, even though an administrator may one 
month fulfil a magistrate's duties and the next be 
called upon to undertake the superintendence of mines, 
in happy-go-lucky disregard of his knowledge or com- 
petence. Though Joseph grumbled at the system he 
boasted of the results, and wished he could issue a 
free invitation to all critics to come to the Malay 
Peninsula, and drive along the red laterite roads as 
smooth as a billiard-table and go into the Government 
offices where justice is dispensed. 

" Let them join," said Joseph, " in the games on 
the play-grounds, where the natives learn to expend 
their superfluous energy in healthy, muscle-making 
ways. I don't refer to the fish. Let them visit the 
hospitals, the schools, the museums, the gold-mines, 
and the tin-mines, which produce three-quarters of 
the world's supply of tin. Let them explore the rice, 
the coffee, the tea, the cocoa-nut, the rubber planta- 
tions there's no better rubber than Malay States' 
rubber, by the way and consider the extent to which 

D 



50 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

these, together with gambler, tapioca, sago, nutmegs, 
areca-nuts, and all the rest, may be made to produce 
a more and more profitable yield. Let them notice 
the varied races living in peace and prosperity, and 
compare their condition with that of the Malays of 
thirty years ago, when murder and piracy were in- 
cessant on the coast ; while you can imagine the con- 
tinual state of fighting and bloodshed on the Peninsula, 
when I tell you that, on digging the foundations of 
Kuala Lumpor, the ground was found teeming with 
dead men's bones." 

"But you yourself say," I interrupted, the first 
moment I got a chance. 

' ' Yes, yes, I know," went on Joseph. " The ad- 
ministration certainly has rather an excessive passion 
for legislation. There is too much tendency to require 
passes and licences for everything. The native is 
beginning to look forward anxiously to a time when 
he will have to get a special licence to be allowed 
to ' makan angin ' take an airing, or, as it means 
literally, c eat the air.' We Government officers also 
have our grievance. We live year in year out in a 
monotonous tropical climate, only a few degrees north 
of the Equator, with hardly any hill resorts to speak 
of, and are absolutely forced to go home to England 
for our health's sake every four years or so. Think of 
the expense of it. A return ticket home costs little 
short of 100, and we have to sell off all our be- 
longings each time, as one can't warehouse things in 
a climate like this. Yet with all these drawbacks we're 
paid much less than civil servants in India, though 
very few have lived to draw pensions ; and the F.M.S., 
for their size, are among the richest countries in the 
world, with savings amounting to fifteen million dollars, 
invested in the banks, Straits Settlements' munici- 
palities, and other things." 



KUALA LUMPOR. 51 

I thought Joseph would go on all day once started 
off on a personal topic, so I turned his attention by 
complaining that the Sultan of Selangor did not live 
at headquarters. It was so inconsiderate of him to 
leave Kuala Lumpor without royalty of any sort. 
Joseph showed me his photograph by way of com- 
pensation, and told me that his dynasty was founded 
at the beginning of the eighteenth century by a Bugis 
chief from Celebes, one of whose descendants, named 
Eaja Lumu, was created sultan by the Sultan of Perak 
in 1743. The anarchy and piracy that prevailed during 
the reigns of succeeding rulers were only put a stop 
to when, at the Sultan's own request, the country was 
taken under British protection. 

In Selangor, as in the other Federated States, Malay 
officials, known as Penghulus, or village head-men, 
assist the British Government to collect the local taxes. 
One or more of the most influential Chinese traders join, 
with the Sultan of the State, the chief Malay rajas, and 
the principal British officials, in forming the State 
Council, which passes the laws and then submits them 
to the approval of the High Commissioner and the 
Secretary of State. A British officer holds a special 
position as Protector of the Chinese ; and the " Capitan 
China," or head of the Chinese community, assists in 
the management of his countrymen. The other States 
are not quite so filled with Chinese, and Malays are 
more in evidence. The latter do not try to compete 
with the immigrant labouring classes. Travelling over 
Selangor one finds Bengali men driving the bullock- 
carts, Tamils at work on the roads, Javanese planting 
the gardens, Boyanese the best to look after horses, 
and the whole place might be called Further China 
for its multitudes from the Flowery Land. Chinese 
coolies by thousands are hard at work on the tin- 
mines ; Chinese artisans are hard at work in the shops ; 



52 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Chinese servants fill the Europeans' houses ; Chinese 
"towkays," or merchants, build themselves fine resi- 
dences ; and Chinese joss-houses, theatres, and gambling- 
farms cover the length and breadth of the land. The 
servant class is principally composed of Haylams, 
natives of the island of Hainan ; while most of the 
artisans and traders are the aggressively successful 
Cantonese who, according to Joseph, may be called 
appropriately the Aberdonians of the Far East. 

As the Chinese arrive in ever-increasing numbers the 
Malays retreat farther into the jungle depths. A 
Malay is in his element on the water, and his superior 
is not to be met with in the management of boats. 
The chosen site for his " kampong " (settlement) is 
on a river's bank. There he clears away the jungle, 
builds his house raised on stakes above the ground, 
and plants his "pisang" (plantain) trees. Malays 
do not appreciate work. They prefer to bask in the 
sunshine and tell stories and make jokes. They are 
full of fun, and consider that life should be spent as 
pleasantly as possible, and seem to succeed in its en- 
joyment for the most part, unless anything happens 
to upset the mental equilibrium of one of them and 
he becomes " amok," or runs amuck, as the English 
express it, and makes things generally uncomfortable 
by trying to murder everybody he meets. 

The drawback for the Malays is that, while they 
enjoy life, foreigners enjoy their country. The fortunes 
in tin, for instance, have hitherto been mostly made 
by Chinese ; and there is more chance too for Europeans, 
now that mining by hydraulic power is being started, to 
minimise manual labour, as the management of Chinese 
coolies is seldom successfully undertaken by English- 
men. The processes commonly employed are so easy 
and unscientific that I could not avoid understanding 
them. The ore for the most part alluvial, and generally 



KUALA LUMPOR. 53 

found from five to fifty feet below the ground is ex- 
cavated and the water pumped from the pits. The 
refuse soil is washed from the tin in sluices, after which 
the ore is usually sent to an island off Singapore, where 
the smelting works are the largest in the world. The 
mines, that cover so many parts of Selangor, by no 
means improve the scenery ; but the tin itself is orna- 
mental as well as useful, and the beautiful boxes and 
dishes and frames that are made in the Malay Penin- 
sula would hardly condescend to claim relationship with 
the demoralised substance that is formed into the 
menial pots and pans of an English scullery. 

It was quite disappointing to find that the old habits 
and customs in connection with the mines were gradually 
disappearing. In former times the Chinese miner called 
in a Malay " pawang " to prospect for tin. The pawang 
is a relic of the medicine man of bygone days. His 
office is often hereditary, and he has the honour and 
glory of a special regalia the right to the use of the 
royal colour yellow, and his own private and particular 
set of expressions and words. He can fall into con- 
venient trances, like a spiritualistic medium, and is 
held in more reverence than the imam (priest) at- 
tached to the mosque. His help is in demand in 
curing sick persons, in prospecting for metals, in trying 
to secure good harvests and plentiful fisheries in fact, 
in making himself useful in every way and he ensures 
popularity by enforcing many holidays as a means to 
good luck. There used to be many taboos in con- 
nection with tin mines : nobody was allowed near 
one with shoes on or an umbrella up ; and limes and 
various other commodities were never to be brought 
into the vicinity, for fear of offending the spirits who 
take tin under their special care. The metal itself was 
thought to be alive, and capable of transferring itself to 
other places unless the greatest precautions were used. 



54 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

"In fact," said Joseph, who dilated on the subject 
the first time he drove me out to a tin-mine, " to a 
Malay of the old order nothing is inanimate. He 
ascribes a sevenfold soul to man, and a living soul to 
every object in' the animal, vegetable, and mineral king- 
doms. He apologises to the animal he is hunting, to 
the metal he is excavating, to the tree he is felling, as 
though they were conscious of his efforts to do the 
polite." 

It was quite sad not to see more of such courteous 
inhabitants, but even the native quarter of Kuala 
Lumpor might have been imported direct from China, 
except for a few streets given over to Bengalis, who 
squatted on their haunches behind their wares. Even 
shops filled with Malay silks of pure native manufact- 
ure were mostly presided over by Chinese. 

Mrs Freshcombe, a little bride who was our nearest 
neighbour, escorted me on my first visit to the native 
town. Under the Chinese sign-boards projecting from 
the houses, the yellow -skinned Celestials pushed and 
jostled, and had rather a family likeness to the animals 
that provide them with their favourite joint. One 
after another we passed the pawnshops, where we 
caught glimpses of fascinating jewellery and curios- 
ities of all sorts. "Hammer, hammer, hammer," re- 
sounded from the tin shops where the metal was being 
welded into all sorts and conditions of designs. Here, 
in front of a silk shop, a little shrivelled-up owner sat 
smoking his opium pipe ; there, outside a barber's, were 
Chinese having their heads shaved and their ears 
cleaned with silver instruments, this all - engrossing 
occupation being part of a barber's task. Some of 
the shopmen were having tiffin rather early, and were 
sitting round tables, and with chop-sticks and china 
spoons partaking of greasy fluids with submerged 
lumps of pork, finishing up with smelly delicacies, such 



KUALA LUMPOR. 55 

as decomposed prawns, sharks' fins, fishes' maws, and 
swallows' nests. 

We were rather relieved to step into a darkened in- 
terior out of the glare and heat. We were at perfect 
liberty to examine all the shopman's possessions, but 
when it came to the point of making a purchase the 
difficulty began, as an anxiety to sell is considered 
"bad joss" by a Chinese salesman, and the fact that 
he should be supposed to wish to part with any of his 
belongings appears to meet with his profoundest con- 
tempt. " T'ada " (not got), Mrs Freshcombe and I 
were assured repeatedly, while the object we asked for 
stared us full in the face. 

Mrs Freshcombe was specially anxious to buy some 
blue Chinese crepe. We went to one of the largest 
silk shops, where eight stout, scantily-clothed assistants 
were lounging at their ease. 

"I want some blue crepe," said Mrs Freshcombe in 
abrupt, decisive Malay. She addressed the remark 
generally to the assembled company, who pointedly 
declined to display the least interest in her wants. 

She then went in turn to each of the eight fat assist- 
ants. " Have you any blue crepe ? " she asked. 

"Ta' tau" (don't know), said each assistant with 
monotonous regularity. 

I walked behind Mrs Freshcombe and converted my- 
self into an echo. " Have you any blue crepe ? " I 
inquired. 

" Ta' tau," said each salesman in turn. 

We tramped in a circle round and round the eight 
till we began to feel giddy. 

" This is ridiculous," said Mrs Freshcombe. " They 
have hundreds of yards of blue crepe, you may depend." 

" We don't seem likely to get any of them," I 
responded, with discouraging melancholy. 

Mrs Freshcombe then delivered a short discourse 



56 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

upon manners, or rather the want of them, with much 
fluency and such overwhelming inaccuracy that it 
might well have caused any Malay to turn in his sleep. 
It was powerless to affect Chinese. The eight assist- 
ants did not pretend to listen, and looked more and 
more apathetic and bored. 

"What do you keep a shop for?" inquired Mrs 
Freshcombe. 

"Ta J tau," the individual addressed said absently, 
thinking he had again been questioned as to the where- 
abouts of the blue crepe. 

"Ta' tau ! I should think you did ta' tau," said Mrs 
Freshcombe, now highly indignant. "I'll teach you. 
You keep it for customers to help themselves. This 
is how they do it. Look here." 

With much determination she stepped behind the 
counter, where rolls upon rolls of materials were beauti- 
fully done up in paper and piled one above the other 
right up to the roof. The shopmen looked faintly 
amused. One after another she pulled down the rolls, 
tore the paper off, and scattered silk and paper over 
the floor of the shop. 

"My action is quite justifiable," she said to me as 
she did it. " These men are so abominably rude." 

Amazement had succeeded apathy on the faces of 
the eight fat shopmen in fact, they seemed too much 
astonished to interfere. Mrs Freshcombe was perfectly 
quiet and dignified over the operation, as she knew 
Chinese despised fluster and bluster above everything. 
When she made a thorough litter of silk and paper she 
returned from behind the counter. " That's what 
happens when I look for the crepe," she said regret- 
fully, and then, as though conferring a great favour, 
inquired, "Wouldn't you rather look for it your- 
selves ? " 

The eight fat shopmen hurried forward in a body, 



KUALA LUMPOR. 57 

pretending that at last they understood what was 
wanted, and displayed roll upon roll of the crepe. 
They even insisted that Mrs Freshcombe should take 
away several pieces in her rickshaw so as to make sure 
of a proper choice. They evidently realised that, 
although it might be bad joss to attend to her, it 
would be worse joss not to do so, and consequently 
were completely transformed and became overwhelm- 
ingly polite. 

All the same, Mrs Freshcombe and I decided that 
one needed to feel very strong and well to go shopping 
among Chinese. It was not only so difficult to choose 
things, but harder still when it came to the question 
of price. To begin with, in many of the shops there 
were workmen nailing, hammering, or otherwise making 
a noise. They had to be relieved of their instruments 
before it was possible to hear anybody speak. When 
the shopmen at last made themselves audible it was 
only to mention some sum four or five times the value 
of our would-be purchases; and though they had not 
the least expectation of getting what they demanded, 
the toil of diminishing prices was not reduced by that 
fact. It was particularly distracting when statements 
were corroborated on the abacus, as ordinary arithmetic 
had always been my bugbear, and it was positively 
overwhelming to be confronted by Chinese sums. Be- 
sides, I never could see the connection between a count- 
ing-board and an exorbitant price. Mrs Freshcombe 
grew rather nervous when I simplified transactions by 
halving or quartering the amounts, according to their 
requirements, laying down what I thought proper, and 
walking away with my purchase, regardless of the cries 
of " Mem ! Mem ! Hey ! Hey ! " with which I was pur- 
sued. Of course, when fair prices were asked there was 
no need for such high-handed behaviour; indeed, with 
some it would have been futile, for Chinese vary like 



58 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

all men, and while some have to be commanded there 
are others who need to be coaxed. I soon made my 
special friends who gave me advice on all subjects, and 
brought their babies for my inspection little hybrid 
creatures generally, for Chinese women are few and far 
between in the Malay States, and there is a good deal 
of match-making between Celestials and Malays, though 
these mixed marriages with infidels used to be an ab- 
horrence to the Mohammedans, and until the British 
asserted their authority many a Chinese husband had 
the holy bands of matrimony abruptly severed by the 
point of a " kris." 

Mrs Freshcombe was also the first to introduce me to 
the Europeanised Chinese shops, where the salesmen 
wore western garments and straw-hats or bowlers above 
their queues. European goods were chiefly supplied at 
what were supposed to be fixed prices, but it was quite 
as tedious to deal there, as the assistants scorned Malay, 
and in slow measured tones gave vent to the most 
laboriously grammatical and roundly finished English 
sentences, which took so long to utter that I had 
always forgotten the beginning by the time the speakers 
arrived at the end. 

Such a strain to the memory made the afternoon 
siesta more than ever appreciable after a morning of 
noise and dust in the native town. It was a mercy to 
find Kussian-bath conditions allowable for a short time 
in the Russian-bath atmosphere, and to feel oneself free 
to wear a Russian-bath costume, and stare lazily at the 
drowsy scenery which seemed to yawn and blink in the 
afternoon heat. But the momentous sixty minutes 
from five to six had a tiresome habit of arriving pre- 
cipitately, and Joseph generally appeared with them 
and summoned me forth to tennis or croquet, or to play 
golf in the Lake Club gardens, or, better still, at the 
large links on the Pataling hills. These last served a 



KUALA LUMPOR. 59 

double purpose, as they were used as well as a Chinese 
burial-ground. Accommodating bunkers were made by 
the emptied graves from which bodies had been carried 
away for their final interment in China, as every 
Chinese, unless he has cut off his pig- tail and renounced 
his nationality, does his utmost to secure a last resting- 
place in the Celestial land. 

One evening I positively declined to be energetic, and 
took Mrs Freshcombe instead for a drive. We came 
back by the Eoman Catholic convent, surrounded by a 
Chinese garden, which we thought looked the reverse of 
conventual, as the creepers and flowers were twisted 
over wires into fantastic shapes of animals and men ; 
and harmless roots of plants were trained to represent 
evil-looking serpents, though these perhaps were appro- 
priate as constant reminders of the weakness of un- 
fortunate Eve. A number of Malay and Chinese girls 
were being brought up as Eoman Catholics by a kind- 
faced French missionary and some polite little French 
nuns. There are many converts to Koman Catholicism 
among the Chinese in the Peninsula, and altogether the 
Komanists have done much the most evangelising, 
though some other missions, especially the American 
Episcopalian Methodists, are beginning a great work. 
On the whole, the Church of England seems to have 
done least, and in some parts of the Federated States 
there is no clergyman to baptise the English children 
or bury the English dead. A church is seldom omitted, 
any more than a race -course or Government offices, 
from these New Empire cities, but what is so often 
needed is a suitable radiator of the light intended to 
illumine the dark places of the world. Mohammedan- 
ism has taught the Malays that there is one God, the 
Creator, " who pre-existed alone before He created the 
earth the width of a tray and the heavens the width 
of an umbrella." But Brahmanism, practised centuries 



60 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

ago in the Peninsula, has left them with rather confused 
ideas of a multiplicity of Hindu divinities. Of these 
Shiva is the supreme, and is known as Batara Guru or 
Kala. They have, besides, a native folk-lore with in- 
numerable legends and superstitions which, in spite of 
their pretty quaintness, must add rather to the cares 
and burdens of life. Mrs Freshcombe wondered how 
any one could say there was no message to be taken to 
the Malays when they had never been taught the great 
truths that nothing external can really harm us, for all 
we need fear is the darkness within us, which by follow- 
ing the perfect Example can be changed into radiance 
of light. 

I drove Mrs Freshcombe away from the convent in 
the golden glory that followed the sundown, when little 
Malay children were hastily summoned indoors for fear 
of the yellow divinity that dwells in the sunset glow. 
In the native town lights were beginning to twinkle. 
The Chinese workmen still laboured as they would 
continue to do until far on into the night. With tom- 
toms banging and banners fluttering some religious 
procession passed noisily on its way. Bushranger 
jumped and swerved and raced us off to the Lake Club 
at a terrific pace. The yellow in the sky faded and the 
blue turned to purple overhead. A strange light still 
gleamed on the far horizon, and sheet-lightning danced 
like a will-o'-the-wisp across the distant hills. The 
club was rapidly filling. Carriages deposited their 
burdens. "Tiga, lima, d'lapan " (three, five, eight), 
the Chinese attendants in the billiard-room uttered in 
sepulchral voices to the click of the billiard-cues. The 
punkahs flapped wearily in the reading-room, where the 
ladies sat round a long table and fluttered the pages of 
picture papers, which they studied conscientiously week 
in week out, night after night. Some others sat at a 
small table playing bridge with great concentration, and 



KUALA LUMPOR. 61 

occasionally a man found his way to the door of the 
reading-room. He usually heard : " Well, ayah told 

me that baby ," or, "I gave the boy notice and 

ordered the tukang ayer ," and turned tail and fled at 

once. One or two were bold enough to venture to the 
long table and address particular women, when a dozen 
pairs of ears were all attention at once. That was the 
extent of the desperate flirtation which, according to so 
many novelists, is indispensable in tropical countries 
and all places where women have their turn at being 
rarities instead of men. On the whole, women are 
much less exalted than the stern sex at finding them- 
selves in request, for they understand how easy it is to 
be run after when there are so few others to be chased, 
and indeed, if tender-hearted, are only sorry to give the 
trouble of so much unprofitable exercise. Of course 
there were secluded corners on the verandah for piquet 
couples, and propinquity brought about a few marriages 
and hatched many life-enduring friendships under the 
very eyes and ears of the most practised gossips that 
scavenged for scandal inside and outside the walls of 
a cock-and-hen club. 

I left Mrs Freshcombe behind that particular evening 
and drove away by myself through the gardens, where 
there was chirruping, buzzing, and croaking to tell us 
that the insect world had awakened, and that the jungle 
dwellers would now start on their nightly prowls. 
Such a chorus of conversation made the drive seem 
pleasantly sociable, till a bull - frog with shocking 
manners roared at us round a corner and made Bush- 
ranger almost jump out of his skin. 

Joseph and I had no engagement that evening, and 
as the lamp blazed like a furnace, and had a congre- 
gation of mosquitoes and flies round it, we wasted no 
time in escaping to our respective rooms and the 
security of mosquito-nets. There one curled under 



62 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

blankets, for the nights had a sticky coolness, and the 
dampness of atmosphere and person made one sus- 
ceptible to the slightest chill. 

The night-jar outside hunted its meals with greedy 
insistence. " Tgok, tgok, tgok," came the sounds, which 
the Malays compare to a pestle pounding down in a 
mortar, and for this reason they believe that a woman 
who quarrelled with her mother was changed into a 
night-jar as a punishment when she was in the middle 
of husking rice by moonlight one night. It is an un- 
sociable bird, which flies about in the evening giving 
vent to its grievances, and then banquets alone, showing 
no hospitality, and as it keeps very late hours, tries its 
best to prevent everybody else from enjoying beauty 
sleep. One of its idiosyncrasies is never to repeat its 
" tgok, tgok," the same number of times. I foolishly 
verified the statement by yielding to the fatal tempta- 
tion of trying to count. " Tgok, tgok," two. " Tgok, 
tgok, tgok, tgok, tgok," five. -Tgok, tgok, tgok," 
three. " Tgok," one. "Tgok, tgok, tgok, tgok," 
four. " Tgok, tgok, tgok, tgok, tgok, tgok, tgok "- 
at last merciful oblivion, until Joseph, looking every- 
thing unutterable in a sarong and baju the Malay 
costume, folds of silk round the lower person and a 
short coat on the upper stalked into my room to 
announce the advent of another day and the fact that 
he wished to make a proposal. 



63 



CHAPTER VI. 

PERAK. 

JOSEPH was given to proposals, but while they were 
only made to me, his sister, there was no danger in 
them. His last one was to the effect that he would 
like to escort me to Taiping, the capital of Perak, as a 
meeting for the widows' and orphans' fund had been 
arranged. 

"The Taiping races are coming off, too," he added, 
by way of an after-thought. 

He returned to the subject again that afternoon, and 
I objected that he had not the least prospect of pos- 
sessing a widow and orphans so far as I could see. The 
Resident happened to be calling at the time, so I sup- 
posed that was why Joseph glared at me across the 
room. 

"How do you know?" he asked. "Ten to one 
you'll see me with a widow and orphans before I'm 
dead. It would never do to miss this meeting any- 
way." 

The Resident quite agreed. It was even possible 
that the meeting for the consideration of the widows' 
wellbeing had been appropriately arranged by him 
directly the date of the Taiping races had been fixed. 
Race meetings were held with the more enthusiasm, as 
gentlemen jockeys were not yet quite ousted by pro- 
fessionals. The Gymkhana Club procured most of the 



64 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA 

mounts from Australia, and as pack -ponies could be 
conveniently secured in this way, the racing greed of 
some of the planters was quite voracious. It was not 
unusual for fifteen "griffins" to be on order for one 
man. 

As Kuala Lumpor and Taiping were then uncon- 
nected by rail we had again to commit ourselves to 
the sea. The steamer by which we travelled carried 
four-legged as well as two-legged passengers in fact, 
by far the larger number of its occupants were pigs. 
Each animal was packed separately in a round wicker- 
work basket, through which its legs and ears were 
generally sticking out. Hundreds of these baskets 
were laid side by side in tight rows, and placed above 
each other in layers three deep. There the poor 
creatures remained for hours and hours, exposed to 
sun or rain, their legs too often broken, and their only 
refreshment the ears of their companions, which they 
not only nibbled at but occasionally bit off. 

" Now you see a pig in a poke," said Joseph. 
" Chinese must have pork to eat. How else could you 
carry the pigs ? " 

I thought that a very little ingenuity could suggest a 
number of different ways, and spent most of the night 
trying to discover and console a poor animal, whose 
squeals sounded even more piteous than the rest. In 
the morning the captain confessed that three or four 
had died during the night, which proved that the 
clamour had not been a mere case of much ado about 
nothing the usual verdict passed upon the lamenta- 
tions of a pig. 

As a rule the steamer was punctually timed to miss 
the train at Teluk Anson. However, we so incited the 
captain to race a Chinese boat that we actually made 
the connection. The line runs past Batu Gajah, Ipoh, 
and the beautiful Perak hills, composed to a great 



PERAK. 65 

extent of crystalline limestone, much of which, in 
Joseph's opinion, compares favourably with Italian 
Carrara marble. There was much jungle opposition to 
this railway line. The system of trains so disgusted 
the elephants that one of them felt it his duty to 
interfere. He charged an engine travelling at full 
speed, and met with a martyr's death in his effort to 
frustrate civilisation, for his skull was broken and his 
trunk torn off. The battered remains of his head and 
his large tusks immortalise his memory in Taiping 
museum. When the engine-driver picked himself up 
he saw the last of the Chinese passengers disappearing 
along the line. They supposed the accident to be an 
ordinary incident of travel, and shouldered their 
burdens and walked on at once, so as to waste no time. 
Later on another elephant followed his predecessor's 
example, but stupidly charged the train sideways, so 
that he wreaked no vengeance upon it, but only got 
his foot badly crushed in the attempt. He rolled into 
a ditch, and was shot by the guard of the following 
train. 

Not content with these unsought adventures the 
railway officials also originated a few, as the Sultan 
proved to his cost. When he was first introduced to 
a train he was invited to step on to the engine, so as to 
examine it as much as he liked. This opportunity 
could not be wasted by the canny Scotch engine-driver, 
who immediately started off, full steam ahead, and only 
condescended to stop when the terrified potentate had 
promised him all his heart's desires. His wisdom 
over-reached itself, however, for he omitted to take 
into consideration that if he lost his employment 
it would be impossible for the Sultan to keep his 
word. 

The dream of the future is to connect Singapore with 
Burma by rail, and eventually accomplish an overland 

E 



66 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

route from London to Singapore. In 1903 a main 
trunk line was opened for traffic from Prai in Province 
Wellesley to Seremban in Negri Sembilan, and the 
extension is now under construction. The sum total of 
the distance which it is expected will very soon be 
covered, and which includes the recently-opened line 
on Singapore island, is estimated at about 480 miles. 
But at the close of the nineteenth century these lines 
were for the most part only in contemplation, and at 
that time, when travelling to Taiping from Teluk 
Anson, we had to part company with the train at 
Enggor. Now the express rushes through without 
stopping, and the Malays call it the " creta sumbong," 
or proud carriage, because it will not condescend to 
notice the small stations on the way. 

There was no such superior object to convey us, un- 
fortunately. All Enggor could provide was a single 
gharri. A wedding at Kuala Kangsar was said to be 
monopolising the services of all the rest. Joseph was 
independent, as he had brought his bicycle, and as the 
other passengers were men, and had to do the polite, 
even if not the least anxious to, the gharri was re- 
linquished to me. But this did not solve the question 
of the "barang" (luggage), which in no way corre- 
sponded with the minute proportions of the solitary 
vehicle. One entire wall of Joseph's bedroom at Kuala 
Lumpor was covered from top to bottom with white 
canvas shoes. To the naked eye no difference was dis- 
tinguishable between any two pairs, but as Joseph 
considered such microscopic variety a necessity for his 
mere feet, his luggage naturally could not avoid being 
plentiful. My own also pleaded guilty, as Joseph had 
impressed upon me the advisability of being well 
equipped for the social doings of Taiping. Almost all 
these precious possessions had to be intrusted to the 



PERAK. 67 

tender mercies of a sampan on the Perak river, accom- 
panied by passionate exhortations that they must be 
made to reach Taiping in time. Everything that could 
be stowed into the gharri I kept with me, and as there 
were numerous articles from which Joseph would not 
be parted, there was hardly any room left for me by 
the time the things were all in. However, the pony 
was sturdy, so no qualms were needed on his behalf, 
but I had a great many on my own when we drew 
up on the middle of a long bridge, the other half of 
which was detached, and swinging about in a desul- 
tory way close up to the opposite bank of the river. 
The two halves made a whole eventually ; and that 
danger over, I tried to study the rich Perak scenery, 
my efforts much frustrated by the sides of a Glad- 
stone bag and the projecting corner of a large hat-box. 
There was positively no room even to fan oneself. 
Joseph could just manage to poke fruit through the 
window occasionally. It was all of the most novel 
interesting kinds, and made me disbelieve the assertion 
that Queen Victoria had tasted every known fruit. 
Let alone the chiku, duku, rambei, langsat, mangosteen, 
&c., &c., of the Malay Peninsula, I felt certain that 
she had never even smelt, much less eaten, a durian. 
Before it is pulled from the tree it sheds an unholy 
odour over the atmosphere. When it is partaken of 
fresh it is like indulging in ambrosia over a sewer, and 
when left to lie about stale in a market that market 
becomes impassable to any but an Asiatic nose. So, 
had a durian ever travelled home to Queen Victoria, 
Windsor borough, let alone the Castle, would have been 
uninhabitable for some time. It is a large fruit, with a 
green outer covering, and inside white pulpy divisions 
that taste of almonds, garlic, sherry, cheese, and endless 
other flavours combined indiscriminately. During the 



68 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA 

journey we restricted ourselves to less odoriferous re- 
freshment, and put the Malay couplet into effect : 

" Musim buah sudah sampei, 
Kita makan buah rambei." 

(" The fruit season's come by, 
So let us eat rambei.") 

We stopped at Kuala Kangsar for the very forcible 
reason that the gharri wallah declined to take me 
another step. He insisted that the wedding - party 
claimed his further services, and so turned me out at 
the district officer's bungalow, promising to send a sub- 
stitute at once. The " at once " came to pass after a 
period of some hours ; but we did not mind much, as 
Kuala Kangsar is one of the prettiest places in the 
Federated States. The Sultan of Perak has his 
" astana " (palace) there, and though Taiping is the 
headquarters of Perak officialdom, Kuala Kangsar is the 
royal capital. It has lately gained still more in im- 
portance through the acquirement of a residential 
college for the up-to-date education of Malays. Un- 
fortunately, the scholars put in an appearance sooner 
than the school, and the future sultans of the Malay 
Peninsula, were reduced to learning their lessons in a 
fowl-house. 

There were no evidences of seminaries when we sat 
on the verandah of the district officer's bungalow and 
looked out over the beautiful Perak river, so closely 
associated with Malay history and anecdote. Roughly 
speaking, it is the dividing line of the two aboriginal 
tribes of the Peninsula. Those on the west are known 
as the Semangs. They generally use bows and arrows ; 
while the Sakais on the east use blow-pipes, with arrows 
dipped in the poisonous sap of the upas-tree. In the 
same way the two species of gibbon apes the siam- 
angs and the wa-was have kept to the same boundary 



PERAK. 69 

ever since a bloodthirsty battle which, according to 
legend, they fought many many years ago. The beauti- 
ful river, where the Sultan takes the royal ladies for 
water-parties, has its own special British hero, the first 
Eesident, appointed in 1874 to restore order in the 
country after a period of fighting, when the Chinese 
had been quarrelling together and the Malays disputing 
about the succession to the throne. In a little float- 
ing bath-house opposite Pasir Salak the Resident was 
stabbed to death by the Malays ; and the pacification 
and wellbeing of the whole Peninsula were the indirect 
results of the murder, for nothing short of it would 
have made the authorities bestir themselves. So at 
Taiping, on the 2nd November, the Union Jack hangs at 
half-mast in memory of the fearless martyr of Empire, 
James Wheeler Woodford Birch. 

Our host's servants had scoured Kuala Kangsar in 
every direction before the advent of another gharri 
brought our stay there to an end. This conveyance 
was larger, but the pony was diminutive. 

"You have evidently mistaken my gharri for a 
bullock - cart," observed the driver with withering 
sarcasm, as one after another our possessions were 
produced. 

We ignored his comment, though I begged Joseph to 
tell him to drive slowly on account of the heavy load. 
Joseph did not deliver the message, and it certainly 
was not necessary, for a slower progress could not 
possibly have been made. Every few steps the pony's 
knees came out of joint, and it had to pause to click 
them in again. The gharri was in a most battered 
condition ; and as it shook and swayed, the packages 
inside tumbled backwards and forwards and bumped 
me black and blue. It was a relief to scramble out and 
walk through the beautiful Bukit Barapit Pass. So far 
Joseph had managed to restrain his impatience, but 



70 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

when I returned to the gharri he politely suggested 
that he should go ahead and make preparations for 
me in Taiping. 

" You can't be long now," he said with hypocritical 
encouragement. " Bye, bye." 

This was meant as an expression of farewell, not as 
a literal exhortation, for to go to sleep under such 
conditions seemed beyond human possibility. Evening 
set in, followed by a starless night of inky blackness. 
The darkness loomed above, below, around us like an 
impenetrable wall. Every few yards the lamps went 
out, so that when the pony had clicked its joints into 
place and was able to crawl forwards, it had instantly 
to be checked while the lamps were lighted again. To 
pass the time I made drowsy guesses as to whether the 
lamps or the pony's knees were responsible for each 
particular pause. The Gladstone bag, the hat-box, and 
innumerable packages bumped vigorous lullabies on my 
back and shoulders and arms. Kind oblivion stole 
over me. Jolted and shaken in that Perak gharri I 
actually slept. Suddenly all the boxes and bags bounced 
at me in a body. I woke to find myself nearly jammed 
through one window, while the other had assumed an 
extraordinary attitude straight above my head. A 
moment later it descended below me, sharp edges 
and pointed corners ran into me all over, and I 
was reduced to standing on my head. Again there 
was another mighty upheaval. Again the windows 
changed places, and my position was reversed. Clutch- 
ing frantically about me in the darkness, I grabbed at 
nothing. The gharri had miraculously emptied itself. 
One more violent jolt, and then the driver drove on 
placidly, as though nothing whatever had happened, 
regardless of my demands for an explanation and frantic 
questioning as to the whereabouts of the vanished pro- 
perty. Fortunately the pony had to stop to readjust 
its knees, and then I discovered the Gladstone bag, 



PERAK. 71 

hat-box, and the many etceteras lying disconsolately 
all over the road. We rescued them by the light of a 
flickering lantern which a passer-by was carrying, and 
by it could also distinguish a series of gravel-heaps by 
the roadside, which explained why our recent progress 
had resembled a switchback-railway trip. But the 
outskirts of Taiping were actually reached, so there was 
no use in wasting time over the contemplation of past 
perils. About twenty minutes later I hobbled on to 
the Residency verandah just as Joseph emerged from 
the dining-room, the picture of contentment, smoking 
a cigarette. 

" Oh ! here you are," he said benignly. " I've just 
had dinner. I'd quite given you up." 

We had left Kuala Kangsar at four, and it was now 
past ten o'clock, so I forgave him, as I could hardly 
have expected him to wait any longer ; but I felt at 
that moment that the trunk railway and the express 
train, which the Malays now consider so haughty, would 
indeed be a boon and a blessing when in proper work- 
ing trim. 

The race meeting was not exactly restful after such 
an agitating journey. The course was a fine one, the 
view of the hills very pretty ; but to be out dressed up, 
booted and gloved, during the heat of the day was a 
trial in Taiping, where the climate more than ever re- 
sembles a Turkish or, more accurately, a Eussian bath. 

The Sultan, a ferret-faced, bright-eyed man, was pres- 
ent with many of the court ladies, whose large-eyed 
pretty faces peeped out from under their white head- 
dresses. The handsomest was a rather older sultana, 
although the flight of years, according to Malay notions, 
had left her quite in the shade. A Malay girl gener- 
ally marries at eleven or twelve. She is considered 
passee at twenty, middle-aged at twenty-five, and an 
old woman at thirty. It must be hard to be put on 
the shelf so early ; but who knows ? Any sort of seat 



72 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

must be more restful than a breathless scurry after 
vanishing youth. The royal ladies were all finely made 
and good-looking. Indeed, most Malay women have 
pleasing faces and large, dark, mysterious eyes. The 
rights of women are not talked about, but are practised 
in many ways. It is a common occurrence for property 
to be bequeathed in the female line; and the ladies 
know how to guard their own interests, and have their 
power of repartee and alertness of comprehension kept 
in constant practice by their fondness for double mean- 
ings and customary play upon words. 

The change of the old order was very apparent as 
the Sultan moved unostentatiously through the crowd. 
Nowhere has an eastern potentate been more regarded 
in the light of a demi-god than in the Malay Peninsula. 
The power " to slay at will without being guilty of a 
crime" has been accorded to him. Not only is his 
body considered sacred, but that sanctity is communi- 
cated to his regalia, to touch or even copy any of which 
is supposed to draw down death or disaster upon the 
offender. It would exhaust one to try to enumerate 
all the royal prerogatives. The king's divine attributes 
are believed to influence nature and the success or 
failure of the crops. Pardon has to be entreated for 
daring to mention the royal name ; and when the 
monarch eats, sleeps, resides, progresses, bathes, is sick, 
dies, &c., special words must be used to describe the 
processes, for the ordinary linguistic terms in use among 
the people may never be applied to the sacred ruler of 
the state. Some attributes of the sovereign are now 
ascribed to the British officials, and public misfortunes 
are occasionally accounted for by the absence of a 
Eesident or a District officer from the scene of his 
work. 

"More complimentary than ascribing them to his 
presence," Joseph observed. 



PERAK. 73 

" But is it as true ? " I inquired, for I felt annoyed 
with Joseph. When the races were over he started off 
on a shooting expedition instead of initiating me into 
the manners and customs of the Malays. 

The jungle is so thick that the difficulties in the way 
of sport are many, though the Peninsula teems with 
birds and beasts of every kind snipe, argus pheasant, 
teal, deer, bears, tigers, rhinoceros, elephants, and 
most exciting sport of all a species of bison known 
as sladang. Joseph wrote an account of how he came 
upon a tiger eating the remains of a bear ; but though 
this was interesting zoologically, I should have pre- 
ferred him to teach me to " meng-gelunchor," a Perak 
amusement which consists of tobogganing down a water- 
fall into a pool at the bottom, quite regardless of bruises 
and accidents. Some of the English indulge in this 
pastime, although its characteristics seem Asiatic; but 
adaptability after all is essential to colonisation. 

I stayed on at the Eesidency to make more acquaint- 
ance with Taiping and its beautiful lake, and its back- 
ground of mountain - ranges of the vivid deep - blue 
shades that give such a wonderful effect to all views 
in the Malay Peninsula. Close by was Taiping Hill, 
on top of which the Resident and Resident -General 
both have bungalows, and at the foot a disused tin- 
mine growing picturesque in its old age. There were 
the golf links, the club, the pawnshops, all to be 
visited ; and a fine museum, which treasured several 
Chinese instruments of torture, such as a bed of wood 
covered with pointed spikes, and a chair with sharp 
blades for the seat, head -rest, foot -rest, and arm 
supports. There was a large collection of stuffed 
animals of the Peninsula, and all sorts of native 
curiosities, including a bottle containing three pearls 
and a little rice from which fresh pearls were supposed 
to emanate. There was some beautiful Malay silver, 



74 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

long finger-tips worn by the dancing-girls and silver 
finger-nail guards. There were silver pillow ends used 
at weddings, sweetmeat covers, chased silver caskets 
for henna, and the beautiful gold chains of fragile 
workmanship, which are becoming very rare and pre- 
cious accordingly. 

The Perak Government had just had a cheery little 
present of two hundred coffins for the use of dead 
patients in the Government hospital. A wealthy 
Chinese had given them as a thank-offering for a son 
and heir with which he had just been blessed after 
a married life of twenty -two years. As the chief 
advantage of a son to a Chinese is the safeguard he 
should make to the spiritual interests of his defunct 
parent, there was nothing at all incongruous to the 
Celestial mind in this funereal outburst of joy. I knew 
it would have delighted Joseph, but he had already 
returned to Selangor, and I soon followed him, travelling 
by sea from Port Weld, at the mouth of the Larut 
river, on a little vessel which had the encouraging 
reputation of not being in the least seaworthy. The 
man at the wheel was Malay, and so, no doubt, were 
the rest of the seamen, but as a matter of fact no others 
were in obtrusive attendance. All went well under lee 
of the land until we had passed the fishing village at 
the point where the houses stood on poles above water 
bristling with stakes that formed ingenious fish-traps. 
Then, without an instant's warning, a huge wave slapped 
the vessel on the beam and hurled itself convulsively 
over us. I tumbled down the companion-way as the 
only alternative to being washed over the bulwarks, 
and the remainder of that voyage could not be 
described as a quest of the ideal. Travellers may, on 
the whole, congratulate themselves that nowadays the 
journey from Taiping to Kuala Lumpor, the Federal 
capital, can be more simply accomplished by rail. 



CHAPTER VII. 

KUALA LUMPOR. 

THE Federated Malay States go in for monopoly in 
talent. They supply a belle, a villain, an actor, a 
musician, a golfer, and everybody and everything 
else that modern society can possibly have need of, 
especially a guardian of morals (Mrs Retale), who 
shakes her head and draws attention to any one who 
shows the remotest prospect of ever entertaining her 
neighbours by wrong-doing of some sort. Mrs Retale 
is consequently held in much reverence by some of 
her acquaintances, though others are base enough to 
suggest that it must take a great deal of personal 
experience to be so very well up in the premonitory 
symptoms of transgression. 

Mrs Freshcombe owned to an intense feeling of awe 
for Mrs Retale. Mrs Freshcombe, as I have already 
stated, was a bride who had only lately arrived. She 
confided to me that she had accepted her husband in 
England in a hail- storm. He had offered her himself and 
his umbrella simultaneously. The latter was a neces- 
sity at the moment, so she was under the obligation 
of accepting the former as well. Both were so snug 
and cosy on that chilly occasion. She had never 
dreamt that the temporary comfort and warmth could 
lead to such permanent discomfort and heat. For Mrs 
Freshcombe suffered greatly from the climate, from 



76 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

fever, from mosquitoes, and from longings for that 
old England which she could only hope to see again 
at rare intervals during the course of the next twenty 
years. For Mrs Freshcombe was a real helpmate. 
She did not believe in a man being tied to a woman 
who resided on the opposite side of the globe. Like 
most other brave people she suffered in silence, but 
on one unhappy occasion her misfortunes were not 
borne with the fortitude she usually displayed, and, 
as a matter of fact, Mrs Retale deserved the entire 
blame. Mr Freshcombe was " Government punya," and 
his official occupations often took him away from Kuala 
Lumpor. On these occasions his great friend, Nipis, 
used to do his utmost to cheer and amuse the bride. 
This arrangement suited every one concerned, till one 
day Mrs Freshcombe came and informed me that Mrs 
Retale chose to object. 

" Really ? " I said. " And are you interested in her 
objections?" 

But Mrs Freshcombe was not of opinion that Mrs 
Retale could be treated with levity. 

"Nipis has asked me to go for a drive, but I'm 
afraid I mustn't. You see there's only room for two 
in the trap. We might go for a walk though, because 
then you can come too. That will make it all right. 
Mrs Retale will think that I am chaperoning you, or 
at any rate that you are chaperoning me." 

I thought either point of view too uninteresting to 
enter Mrs Retale's head, and the Malay climate did 
not inspire me with a desire for walking exercise. 
However, Mrs Freshcombe was so persuasive that I 
agreed to join her and Nipis at five o'clock. It was 
nearly dark before we actually started, as Mrs Fresh- 
combe thought there was a chance of her husband 
returning that evening, and a good deal of arguing 
was involved before she could decide upon the road 



KUALA LUMPOR. 77 

by which he was most likely to come. After walking 
some way, sure enough we met him riding towards us, 
and were not at all certain that he appreciated our 
attention in going to meet him, as it obliged him to 
dismount and wall? back slowly with us. He went on 
ahead to discuss official matters with Nipis. Mrs 
Freshcombe and I followed behind. 

It was too dark now to see where we were stepping. 
I devoutly congratulated myself that I was not alone 
in the jungle. A Malay came after us and seemed glad 
to walk near us. All the "hantus" (ghosts) of his 
native superstitions were abroad now. Perhaps he 
feared any moment to hear the whirring wings of the 
birik-birik birds, supposed to portend misfortune and 
announce that the " Hantu Pemburu " (the Spectre 
Huntsman) is travelling overhead. The Spectre Hunts- 
man once upon a time was a man who mistook a 
request his wife made him and set out upon an 
impossible hunting quest. He has continued to hunt 
with his face turned skyward, his pack of dogs round 
him, and the birik-birik birds flying in his train. Or 
the owl hooting on the tree-top might be the " Lang- 
suir," the spirit of the woman who died from shock 
on hearing that her baby was born dead, and who in 
revenge sucks the blood of all the little children she 
can find. Perhaps the Malay believed the owl might 
be transformed as she perched on the bare branch, 
and that he would see the Langsuir in visible presence, 
with her fluttering green garments, her long tapering 
finger-nails, and her masses of jet-black hair. He gave 
a start we all did at a sudden piercing shriek. 

" Oh ! Help ! help ! " screamed Mrs Freshcombe. 
" Something awful is twisting round my leg." 

Mr Freshcombe and Nipis turned round, but far 
quicker than they the Malay sprang to Mrs Fresh- 
combe, seized her skirt in one hand, and with the 



78 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

other grasped a gruesome black thing that wriggled 
and squirmed. 

Mr Freshcombe could not understand what was hap- 
pening. " Suir ! binatang!" (pig, beast), he shouted, 
and knocked down the unfortunate Malay. The birik- 
birik birds had evidently flown past that evening, the 
poor Malay must have thought so at any rate. Nipis 
was quicker than the indignant husband in grasping 
both the situation and the snake. It was not till he 
had killed the latter that Mr Freshcombe really under- 
stood. 

" My darling, did it bite you ? " he cried. 

" I'm afraid so," his wife answered feebly. " I'm sure 
I felt a prick." 

" Nipis, hurry in. Get everything ready, brandy, 
whisky, gin and tonic, everything you can think of. 
Fetch the doctor. Be quick." 

Nipis vanished like a streak of lightning. Mr Fresh- 
combe put his wife on his horse and jumped up behind 
her. I hurried after them, regardless of the darkness 
and the jungle and the hantus, carrying the dead snake 
by its clammy tail. 

A most animated scene took place at the Fresh- 
combes'. Whisky, gin, and any other available spirit 
had been poured promiscuously down Mrs Freshcombe's 
throat. She, poor woman, having been brought up on 
strict temperance principles, was suffering accordingly. 

" She mustn't be allowed to go to sleep," Mr Fresh- 
combe insisted. 

Mrs Freshcombe was in an exceedingly lively con- 
dition, and showed not the least symptom of sleepiness, 
but in spite of that her husband forced her to tramp up 
and down. But this did not content him. He rushed 
to his room and returned with a large jungle-knife and 
commenced to chop pieces out of her ankle. I remon- 
strated. So did she loudly. 



KUALA LUMPOR. 79 

" Have you been through an ambulance course ? " Mr 
Freshcombe asked me severely. 

" No, I haven't," I owned. 

" Well, then, I have, so, please, don't interfere." 

He rubbed some concoctions into the wound in the 
pride of his unimpeachable first-aid experience, and 
made his victim beside herself with pain as well as 
with spirits. When the doctor arrived she absolutely 
declined to look at him, and mistook Nipis for her 
husband, and addressed him in tender terms that would 
have made Mrs Retale's hair stand on end. Whenever 
she grew quieter she was forced to walk up and down. 
Far on into the night we assisted at those agitating 
promenades. The first thing next morning I went 
round to inquire. The chief naturalist of the States 
in consequence known as "Binatang" (the insect) 
had arrived to hold an inquest over the snake. 

" Perfectly harmless," he announced, and reeled off a 
list of its scientific and local names. 

This was poor consolation to Mrs Freshcombe, who 
was laid up with an attack of blood-poisoning, and said 
she could not feel comforted by hearing that it had 
only been caused by unnecessary precautions against 
an imaginary bite. Mrs Retale, of course, heard every 
detail of the adventure. " Just what I prophesied," she 
lamented. " If young women will be so imprudent, 
what else can they expect ? " But in Nipis' opinion she 
ought to have paid the doctor's bill. 

I invited Binatang to dinner by way of diverting his 
scorn from poor Mr Freshcombe. He came. As snakes 
were naturally the order of conversation he was in his 
element. When dinner was over he passed on to mos- 
quitoes. I learnt that it is only the lady mosquito 
which stings, and the mosquito which dispenses malarial 
fever looks as if it wore socks on its feet. 

Joseph grew restive and fidgeted. Binatang pro- 



80 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

ceeded to give me the genealogy of all the insect legions 
which garrison the Malay States. 

Joseph got up and went out on to the verandah and 
began to walk up and down. Binatang then com- 
menced the personal history of each separate insect. 
During a moment's pause I started a reminiscence of 
my own in the hope that it might interrupt. 

" When I was a child in Ceylon," I said, " I remem- 
ber I once saw a fly dodging about in the most eccentric 
way near a bank. I looked closer and saw a big spider 
just opposite. Whichever way the fly moved the spider 
turned its head. They went bobbing from side to side 
like two people trying to pass on a pavement." 

" Capital ! capital ! " cried Binatang, clapping his 
hands. " It was one of the Ichneumon tribe a mason 
fly, probably. They all make their dinners off spiders. 
If you'd looked longer you'd have seen the fly suddenly 
strike the spider a blow a blow on the head. Three 
times the fly would strike the spider. The third time 
the spider would fall down motionless. Then what do 
you think happened ? What did that fly want ? " Bina- 
tang pulled his chair up in his excitement and dropped 
his voice to a confidential whisper. " The fly had a 
hole close by. It lived there with its family. What 
did it want for that family ? " 

I confessed I had no idea. 

" Why, of course, it naturally wanted fresh meat. 
What did it need to put in its pantry ? Why, of 
course, fresh meat fresh meat ! It had hypnotised 
the spider hypnotised it there and then. When the 
spider was in the hypnotic trance the fly dragged it 
into its hole. When dinner-time came and the children 
were hungry, why, of course, they had fresh meat 
fresh meat, of course ! Good housekeeper fine joint 
fresh meat ! " 

Joseph looked through the curtains at me threaten- 



KUALA LUMPOR. 81 

ingly, and stalked round the verandah putting out the 
lights. 

" Ah ! I could tell you no end of good stories. Plenty 
of insect gossip. Terrible scandalmongers, you know, 
flies." 

But I lost the thread of the observations of the Mrs 
Ketale of the insect race, for Joseph, in a determined 
way, was putting out all the lamps in the dining-room. 
My attention returned to Binatang. He was lamenting 
the injustice done to the toad, that invaluable gardener 
which has suffered as basely from calumnies in the Malay 
Peninsula as in all other parts of the world. 

Joseph marched into the drawing-room and put out 
the lights round the walls. Binatang continued un- 
conscious. 

"I say, what's the time? Past twelve, isn't it?" 
asked Joseph, making a great display of his watch. 

" No doubt, no doubt," said Binatang, and resumed 
his regrets on behalf of the toad. 

Joseph paused. He hesitated. Then out went the 
last remaining lamp. 

" Excuse my hurrying away. I said I'd get back 
early," jerked out Binatang, and he groped in the dark- 
ness for my hand. He knocked down a chair, upset a 
vase on a table, and finally we heard him stumbling 
down the steps. 

" Joseph," I said, " your manners are beyond com- 
ment." 

" Yes ; I thought you'd admire them," said Joseph. 
" If you don't know how to get rid of a fellow, I jolly 
well think it's a tactful idea of mine to get the lights to 
give him a hint." 

Joseph had now placed me in the humiliating position 
of needing to propitiate Binatang. Under the circum- 
stances I thought it necessary to undertake the guardian- 
ship of his bear while he was away. " You could cheer 



82 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

up the poor fellow," lie had suggested. " He'll be so 
bored otherwise." " Oh, that would never do," I 
answered, for in my opinion no one should enslave 
birds and animals unless he can give them a thor- 
oughly good time. But I confess I should not have 
offered the bear hospitality had it not been that 
I felt Joseph's behaviour entitled Binatang to some 
amends on my part. 

I went to fetch the animal, having first secured Mrs 
Retale as chaperone, so that if she had any stories to 
tell she would have to include herself in the theme. 
Her husband one of the judicial lights of the Govern- 
ment came too, and we set out together to tea at the 
Chummery, where Binatang lived. Creatures of all de- 
scriptions and ages crowded the verandah outside his 
room. Binatang pulled a baby otter out of his waist- 
coat-pocket. It chirruped like a chicken when he left 
it alone while he hunted for his pet mongoose, which 
had disappeared under the house. Suddenly the young 
black bear rushed helter-skelter upon us. He charged 
Mr Retale, who jumped on to his chair with more haste 
than dignity. 

" Don't be so silly, Philip," said his wife. " Come 
here, you darling " (to the bear). " Oh, do come here, 
you sweet pet." 

" Don't touch it, Lulu," cried Mr Retale, prancing up 
and down so violently that he came through the seat of 
the chair. " If you love me, you'll leave it alone for 
my sake." 

" I will touch it," said Lulu defiantly. 

Fortunately Binatang caught the mongoose and re- 
turned to the verandah, and with great strategy backed 
the bear into his cage. For the next ten minutes no 
one heard a syllable that was spoken, owing to the 
roared protests of the animal when he discovered the 
trick. However, Binatang was only explaining that 



KUALA LUMPOR. 83 

" bruang" was the Malay for bear, and that this black 
sort which climbs trees to get honey from the beehives 
was the only known species in the Peninsula. He told 
us that the Malays believed the bear to have been 
originally a woman, nurse to a certain Princess Telan, 
whose fiance insisted upon sailing the high seas instead 
of fulfilling his marriage - contract. Meantime the 
princess used to change into a monkey to escape the 
unwelcome attentions of the truant's brother. At last 
the fiance turned into a fish to avoid further complica- 
tions. Binatang did not explain why he could not 
have married the lady: that really would seem to 
have been a more simple arrangement. As it was, the 
princess was turned permanently into a siamang, one 
of the species of gibbons, and her nurse was changed 
into a bear. The transformation took place while the 
two were bathing, so both still carry soap-marks which 
they did not have time to wash off. Binatang pointed 
out white patches on the chest and snout of Bruang, 
whose roaring had subsided at last. 

"He's as gentle as a baby," said Binatang. "He'd 
do anything for a bit of sugar or a little jam. The 
more freedom you give him the better he will behave." 

This was not Joseph's opinion. He gave strict orders 
that Bruang was to be chained in the servants' quarters, 
and that under no pretext whatsoever was he to be 
admitted into the house. This was all very well, but I 
did not find the back premises the pleasantest of places 
for entertaining my new guest. Chinese servants are 
very kind to animals usually, but servants have duties : 
ours had too many to play with Bruang all day. I 
spent a week continually interrupting myself at other 
occupations to pay duty calls and administer jam to 
the bear, until, in an ardour of sympathy, I decided to 
disregard Joseph's commands. I thought there could 
be no harm in bringing Bruang into my own Toom, as 



84 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

I should be the only sufferer if he did any damage 
there. I might not have ventured upon this had Ah 
Song been present, but he happened to be away for 
his holiday, and his place was temporarily filled by 
a worthless substitute. 

Bruang appreciated my room. He behaved in the . 
most gentle kittenish way, and so fully endorsed the 
good character his master had given him that I decided 
to take Binatang's advice and give the bear full liberty. 
I took off his chain, and told him to come for a walk on 
the verandah. He obeyed, and followed close at my 
heels abjectly docile and good. All went well till we 
reached the door of the dining-room. Then, in the 
gushing tactless way of a half-caste, Lord Huntrabbit 
the misshapen animal Nipis had given me rushed up to 
greet this new acquaintance, and was so rough that he 
knocked Bruang flat on the ground. The bear picked 
himself up and made desperate grimaces as a warning, 
but Huntrabbit would not take the hint. He bounced 
against Bruang again. Bruang sprang at him, roaring, 
and then rushed panic-stricken into the dining-room. 
Here to his delight he discovered an excellent oppor- 
tunity for satisfying his climbing proclivities, for a 
firm-legged table stood in a corner, covered with a 
beautiful Japanese tea-service which Joseph reserved 
for show instead of for use. Without waste of time 
Bruang set to work to climb the legs of the table. A 
bull in a china shop could not be worse than a bear 
climbing over a tea-service. In desperation I seized 
the animal by the scruff of the neck and dragged him 
down without ceremony. My method was more forc- 
ible than polite, I am certain ; but I never saw such a 
shocking exhibition of temper as that bear displayed. 
He distended his long claws and curled his lips back 
over his great fangs, and roared with such utter loss of 
self-control that I thought the whole of Kuala Lumpor 



. 



\ 




"FETCH JAM!" I CRIED. 



KUALA LUMPOR. 85 

would hear, and that I should have Joseph rushing up 
to know what was wrong. Again Bruang made a dash 
for the legs of the table. Again I pulled him down 
and pushed him across the room. He sprang at me, 
longing to tear me with his claws, and once more began 
the ascent of the table. I caught hold of him and 
called wildly to the boy. He ran into the room, but 
instead of helping only added shrill shrieks to Bruang's 
roars ; and when the bear shook himself free and charged 
me, he jumped so high in the air that I really thought 
he would never come down again. Fortunately the 
tukang ayer now arrived as cool and collected as a 
Chinaman ought to be. " Fetch jam ! " I cried, again 
dragging the bear away from the legs of the table. 
The tukang ayer ran off and the next moment returned 
with a pot of some specially good guava jelly, of which 
Joseph was particularly fond. The bear devoured the 
whole of it, to Joseph's infinite disgust when he dis- 
covered its loss, and in consequence learnt all the facts 
of the episode at breakfast next day. 

" Boy, bring the guava jelly at once. Why don't 
you put it on the table ? " 

" Missie fed bear with it yesterday. All gone, Tuan." 

There is nothing that more pleases an Oriental servant 
than to make the unfortunate Mem or the Missie the 
scapegoat for all that goes wrong. 

However, the guava jelly played its part nobly, for 
I might have been torn to pieces if it had not come to 
my help. As it was, we were able to chain the bear, 
and then and there the tukang ayer marched him back 
to Binatang's verandah to content himself with the 
society of an iguana, a mongoose, a civet-cat, a bull- 
frog, and various races of mosquitoes the mosquito 
that inoculates malarial fever, the mosquito that in- 
oculates elephantiasis, and so on through genus and 
species. 



86 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Next morning Ah Song's useless substitute called 
" Boy ! boy ! " in the back premises in imitation of my 
appeals for help. I waited till he came to the drawing- 
room, then I said innocently, "Who wants you, boy? 
I've heard some one keep on calling you. You must 
find out who it is." For the next half-hour I cheerfully 
encouraged the substitute in a vain search through the 
rooms, down the porch, all over the verandahs and 
road. He did not love me the better for being 
thoroughly aware that no one would have been more 
astonished than I, had he found any one actually 
clamouring for him. But he never again attempted 
to mimic me. 

Joseph seemed to wish to demonstrate practically the 
inadvisability of promiscuous pets. A few days later 
he came in to tiffin with what looked like a shining 
green ribbon twisted tight round his arm. The green 
ribbon had a head, I soon discovered, and brilliant red 
rubies for eyes in fact, it looked altogether more like 
a piece of jewellery than anything else. So at least 
I thought till Joseph curled it round a silver ornament 
on the centre of the table and I found myself vis-a-vis 
with a snake. That was too much for my nerves, but 
Joseph grew very scornful when I declined to go on 
with tiffin. 

"You turn a house into a bear-garden and a bear 
into a table ornament. Why can't I have a snake for 
a centre-piece ? They're perfectly harmless, these grass 
snakes." 

I told Joseph that if he had paid more attention the 
other night he would have heard Binatang tell us there 
were two sorts of these green snakes one harmless, the 
other deadly. I knew Joseph had no idea which he 
had caught. Ten to one it was the deadly sort. " Any 
way," I said, " I'm not in Eden, and if I were, I hope 
I'd have the sense not to eat with the serpent." 




- 



. 






HE JUMPED SO HIGH IN THE AIR. 



.* c** 4 ' ' < ,'e 

* c* I. I' t * t 4 < / 

:.* :/;<< :;*.:^v 



KUALA LUMPOR. 87 

Fortunately the controversy was settled by the 
snake. It suddenly descended from the table and 
wriggled out of the house with a slithery determina- 
tion that admitted of no argument. 

A pause was in store for me in life's pleasures and 
trials at Kuala Lumpor. An invitation came for me 
from Seremban, the capital of Negri Sembilan, and it 
was arranged that I should spend a few days on the 
way at Port Dickson with the Freshcombes, who had 
gone there for change of air. There was plenty to 
settle, with no Ah Song to help me. It was humiliat- 
ing to find what a mental prop one could make of an 
efficient Chinese boy. " Well, what wobble is your 
mind at now ? hat wobble ? dress wobble ? shoe 
wobble ? " was the only assistance I received from 
Joseph when I went to him for advice. Without being 
of the slightest use, he had a superior way of appearing 
to settle everything a way which inferred objection- 
ably that I was incapable of managing for myself. 

"I've arranged for you to leave by the Ban Whatt 
Hin next Monday," he announced grandiloquently, as 
though he had chartered a special steamer on purpose 
to carry me. " You'll get to Port Dickson at five on 
Tuesday morning. You'll have the whole of Tuesday 
and Wednesday at Port Dickson ; on Thursday you can 
go on to Seremban." 

" Not really ? How good of you." 

" Well, I've taken the trouble to settle everything 
and make it all easy for you," said Joseph reproachfully. 

"Don't you think," I suggested, "that I'd better 
make sure about the steamer myself?" 

" Oh, of course," said Joseph. " You've been here 
for some months. I've only been here for years. Natur- 
ally you'll know more about it all." 

His feelings seemed so hurt that I desisted from 
further inquiry. When the aforesaid Monday arrived 



88 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

I started for Kuala Lumpor station, en route for the 
Ban Whatt Hin and Port Dickson, Joseph escorting 
me as far as the railway carriage. My smaller belong- 
ings were placed inside. I took my seat beside them. 
There were several passengers in the compartment. 

" Good day," said one. " Going to pay Klang a 
visit ? " 

" Oh, no. I'm going straight through on the Ban 
Whatt Hin to Port Dickson." 

11 I'm afraid you're not. The Ban Whatt Hiris off 
her run. Been in dry-dock for repairs the last month." 

" What boat takes her place ? " I inquired with rapt 
attention. 

" No boat. There's nothing that'll carry you to Port 
Dickson till next Thursday." 

"Take my things out," I commanded, and, seizing 
my dressing-bag and sun-umbrella, I began to back 
out of the train. 

Joseph had comprehended the spirit, if not the 
text, of the recent conversation. I suppose he was 
in no special hurry to listen to my criticisms on his 
arrangements. 

" Get in ! get in ! " he cried. " Train's just off. Get 
in," and he pushed me in forwards as I tried to jump 
out backwards. Off went the train in real earnest, and 
I was launched forth on my wild-goose chase. 



CHAPTEK VIII. 

TO PORT DICKSON AND SEREMBAN. 

IF Joseph thought I was going to take the hot journey 
to Klang simply to return by the next train he was 
never more mistaken in his life. Having been forced 
into starting, I was bent upon arriving, and had my 
swimming capabilities surpassed one stroke above water 
and two under, I should almost have tried to reach 
Port Dickson independently on my own account. I 
inquired eagerly whether there might not be a junk, 
or even a sampan, which could take me, but I only 
met with negative replies. 

" A boat starts to-morrow afternoon for Malacca," 
some one at last suggested. " It won't stop at Port 
Dickson, but you might get a Chinese boat at Malacca 
to take you back there." 

This arrangement, however, did not solve the problem 
of where I should spend the night which was looming 
in my immediate future, and an ignominious return to 
Kuala Lumpor seemed more and more inevitable. A 
planter, as he left the train at his station, filled my lap 
with comic papers ; but even this hint to revive my 
drooping spirits was entirely thrown away. 

At last a man in the far corner of the carriage sat 
forward and said, " I've been making plans to help you 
ever since we left Kuala Lumpor. I've hit upon one, if 
you think it will do." 



90 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

I replied that, under the circumstances, almost any- 
thing would do within limits ; so he went on to tell me 
that a Scotch engineer who was assisting in the forma- 
tion of a harbour at Kuala Klang had an abode and a 
wife in the neighbourhood. He was sure they would be 
delighted to house me until I could start for Malacca. 
He declined to listen to my doubts on this subject, and 
when we reached the Kuala, insisted upon fetching the 
engineer and his wife and making us all have dinner 
with him. After the meal we adjourned to a remote 
corner of the jungle, where we found the engineer's 
house. He was the possessor of a piano, so the frogs 
and the insects and the hantus were not left undisturbed 
to their own serenades. Piano, audience, and performer 
had all to be crowded inside the mosquito-house, for in 
that particular region daily, as well as nightly, existence 
was impossible except under a protecting panoply of 
mosquito-nets. Irish ballads and Italian arie had most 
appreciative listeners, whose disregard of the tempera- 
ture inside those few square feet of netting was the 
most flattering compliment they could pay. 

Next day I was told the engineer's tragic story. He 
had been employed on a vessel which traded along the 
coast of Achin. The Achinese proverbially fierce and 
troublesome were always searched when they came on 
board. But on one occasion a very fat Achinese woman 
arrived at the last moment, and what with the hurry of 
departure and the fact of her being a woman no one 
examined her. It was never suspected that her plump- 
ness was due to the " krises " (daggers) which were hung 
round her under her clothes. It did not take her long 
to supply the passengers with weapons ; and when 
the captain and engineer were quietly seated at tiffin, 
the Achinese rushed in and stabbed them, and then 
murdered the rest of the crew wholesale. The captain 
crawled to the bridge and fell dead there ; and the 



TO PORT DICKSON AND SEREMBAN. 91 

engineer crawled to the engine - room, and after the 
Achinese had made off with their booty he recovered 
sufficiently to bring the steamer to port. Since then 
it has been made the rule to cage in the Achinese 
passengers the moment they come on board. The hero 
of the tragedy was beamed on by his bright -faced 
Scotch wife as he related the story, and congratulated 
himself upon his more peaceful occupation at the har- 
bour, which is now completed Port Swettenham 
having become the new title for Kuala Klang. 

The steamer on which I recommenced my round- 
about route to Port Dickson was known as the overland 
vessel. One morning the passengers had awakened to 
find the boat stationary, her nose run up on to land, 
with her prow heading straight for a lighthouse in the 
most confiding way. For once in its existence the 
building had been regarded as a seduction instead of a 
warning, and felt duly complimented no doubt. But it 
was a little trying to travel on a vessel so addicted to 
flattery, and I felt quite ready to leave her when I was 
summoned at five o'clock next day and told that a 
Chinaman was waiting to take me on board the Chinese 
boat. My temporary conductor looked as if he owned 
a part share in the vessel, for he stood in the prow of a 
rocking sampan enveloped in a dignity which the buffet- 
ing of the waters had no power to destroy. It was a 
beautiful morning, which was only what was expected 
of it in those parts. The glow which preceded the 
sunrise gave Malacca a rosy complexion, and the outline 
of the old cathedral was sharply defined in the early 
light. This was the resting-place of the bones of St 
Francis Xavier before they were taken to Goa ; and if 
Malacca was really the Ophir of Bible mention, it 
cherished much older memories of the ships of King 
Solomon, which carried away their picturesque cargoes 
of spices, ivory, peacocks, and apes. 



92 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

The dignified Celestial handed me on board the 
Chinese steamer with much pomposity. I embarked 
with difficulty over lower decks covered with pigs in 
their pokes, and upper decks littered from stem to stern 
with prostrate Chinese who, fortunately, seemed to have 
no objection to being trodden upon. I trusted I should 
not be expected to take the same recumbent position, 
and was relieved when the Scotch captain invited me 
on to the bridge, and squeezed me into the only avail- 
able corner under the wheel. His social success as an 
entertainer weighed him down more than the cares of 
navigation, and he soon unfolded most of his history, 
and combined with it varied experiences of the Chinese 
for whom and among whom he worked. He had been 
obliged to engage a new compradore for the vessel, as the 
former one had been discovered in the hold energetically 
hammering a nail into his head, which was found to be 
already decorated with two other rusty ones. They 
were extracted by a pair of pincers, one nail being two- 
and-a-quarter inches long. The captain sent him to 
the civil hospital for an operation, but he nearly died 
under chloroform, so his cure had to be left to nature, 
and he was now walking about again nearly well and 
anxious to regain his position as compradore. 

The captain's conversation was presently interrupted 
by some Malay ladies who spied me out and came to me, 
stepping over the prostrate Chinese with the vigorous 
arm -swinging walk of the feminine Malay. Their 
eloquence almost outvied the captain's ; and when 
topics of interest failed, owing to the paucity of my 
comprehension, we resorted to fingering each others' 
ornaments, and exclaiming "Bagus, bagus" (pretty, 
pretty), like a mutual admiration society. 

Breakfast, tiffin, and tea were rolled into one at 
twelve o'clock, when I sat down to a repast with the 
captain and the mates. The poor captain had great 



TO PORT DICKSON AND SEREMBAN. 93 

difficulty to find time to swallow, so much his duty did 
he consider it never to interrupt his own flow of words. 
My presence caused the first mate to be covered with 
confusion and blushes. In his embarrassment he alter- 
nately fed himself and the ship's cat off his fork, and 
then dug it into the contents of the dishes from which 
I was supposed to be helped. 

I slumbered most of the afternoon, waking at intervals 
to answer the captain at random, and going to sleep 
again to dream that the Chinese passengers were rising 
to murder us. There was no earthly reason why they 
should not have done so had they so desired, except that 
the Chinese are a law-abiding people and do not rise in 
that promiscuous way. I had a comfortable conviction 
that they would not, and so was able to enjoy a little 
superficial thrill of fear that they might. If one could 
always make certain beforehand of not being hurt in 
any way, danger would certainly be the most delightful 
experience in the world. At last the captain woke me 
by demanding my passage-money. I happened to have 
made sure of the amount before starting, so knew that 
he was mentioning an entirely fancy price. I did not 
think I needed to pay extra for the exercise his tongue 
had indulged in, so I told him agreeably that I could 
not think of troubling the commander of the steamer 
with petty finances, and should be obliged if he would 
send me the compradore. The captain looked as if he 
regretted his lofty position, and reluctantly called for 
the Celestial, who asked for the modest sum which was 
strictly legitimate, and made Chinese integrity on that 
occasion compare rather favourably with Scotch. 

The vessel took nearly an hour coquetting with the 
wharf at Port Dickson before she could be induced to lie 
up alongside. The captain told me I was lucky ; she 
usually took an hour and a half. 

The Freshcombes were much amazed at my belated 



94 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

arrival, and could not understand how I had reached 
them vid Malacca, so, as explanations were tedious, I 
left them to think out my route at their leisure, while 
I went off to make the most I could of the sea. There 
was no need to shiver on the brink before entering it, 
or be nervous of a cold shock. The bath had been 
carefully heated, the waves all warmed deliciously, 
the sea, like the atmosphere, tended to luxury ; even 
the tide seemed to be filled with a lazy languor as it 
came creeping up over the beach. The Malays are like 
most other people in having an explanation for every- 
thing, whether they understand anything about it or 
not. Consequently some Malays attribute tides to the 
influence of the sun, or to currents of the sea ; while 
others still believe that they are caused by a gigantic 
crab which lives in a cavern in the depths of the great 
ocean, where grows "pauh janggi," an immense sub- 
marine tree. The movements of the crab as he goes to 
and from his abode at meal times are supposed to 
account for a displacement of the water, and the con- 
sequent rise and fall discernible on the land. But the 
Malays must sometimes wonder why a crab of such 
virtuously regular habits should always insist upon 
varying his dinner -hour from day to day. To the 
Malay idea the ocean, like the land, is crowded with 
spirits. Si Eaya, the Great One, corresponds at sea 
to Batara Guru on shore. Both are impersonations 
of the Hindu god Shiva, supreme deity of the borrowed 
Hindu pantheon. Like many a westerner the Malay 
does not realise the contradictions of his belief, and with 
his face turned to Mecca piously recites in all sincerity 
" la ilaha ilia Hah," there is no God but God. 

The Freshcombes had to leave Port Dickson early 
next day. Mrs Freshcombe was still suffering from 
her wounded ankle and from a nervous dread of en- 
countering snakes and knives. Mr Freshcombe had 



TO PORT DICKSON AND SEREMBAN. 95 

a crestfallen, guilty appearance as he assisted his 
wife's halting footsteps. He seemed afraid I should 
mention first - aid cures or ambulance lectures, and 
with evident relief committed my morning into the 
keeping of a new cadet, as my train for Seremban was 
not due to start till the afternoon. 

The cadet was very new and most interested in the 
country of his adoption, so we determined there and 
then to explore as much of it as we could. We walked 
along a road overlooking the sea to a schoolhouse, 
where small Malay boys were standing back to back 
doing their " kira kira " (arithmetic) out loud with great 
volubility. A little farther on we came to a Malay 
village, where the Penghulu (head-man) received us 
with much cordiality, and refreshed us with cocoa-nut 
milk. There seemed a good deal of stir among the 
community under the palm-trees, and much beating of 
drums and banging of gongs announced that some 
special function was taking place. The Penghulu ex- 
plained that they were celebrating his daughter's 
wedding, and he escorted us to his house, showing no 
signs of the nervousness which many British papas 
exhibit on such auspicious days. Under a decorated 
erection we found the musicians thumping and bang- 
ing with increased vigour as the Penghulu came into 
sight. Far off in the distance other gongs and drums 
made themselves audible as the musical escort of the 
bridegroom and his retinue. A Malay wedding takes 
several days to accomplish, and the bridegroom is 
carried about in state for some time before being 
brought to the house of the bride. A dozen silent, 
motionless men were sitting in a row waiting for him 
in gloomy solemnity, more like mutes at a funeral 
than the first of the wedding-guests. We passed be- 
hind them and went up a little stair, and entered the 
house, which was decorated with curtains and hangings. 



96 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

At the farther end of the room the bride squatted in 
front of a raised dais on which white and red pillows 
were piled. They looked excessively hard and un- 
comfortable, but they had handsome ornamented ends 
and played an important part in the proceedings, as 
the number of white pillows notified the social position 
of the bride. The girl, surrounded by several older 
women, sat like a graven image in front of the mani- 
festations of her importance, her head bent down and 
her hands folded in her lap. She wore a silk sarong 
and a tight-fitting jacket, and a head-dress of artificial 
flowers fastened loosely in her hair. She had on 
bracelets and anklets and rings on her fingers, the tips 
of which were coloured with henna, this staining being 
part of the marriage ceremony. One of the women 
suddenly grasped her chin and tilted back her face 
to let us look at it, but the girl continued true to her 
native decorum ; her eyelids remained lowered and 
her head sank forward the moment her chin was re- 
leased. The rdle of a Malay bride appeared tiring and 
stupid, but as people have such varied ideas of amuse- 
ment the lady in question was possibly thoroughly 
enjoying herself. She seemed a self-possessed young 
person, in spite of the official excess of modesty, 
and looked quite sixteen or seventeen, though, ac- 
cording to the Penghulu, she was only eleven years 
old. In front of her was placed a kind of three-tiered 
box filled with saffron-coloured rice and surmounted 
by an erection of artificial flowers, coloured eggs, and 
red paper streamers. The Penghulu presented us with 
boughs which appeared to grow flowers, eggs, and paper 
indiscriminately. The new cadet grew quite nervous 
for fear the eggs were meant to be eaten, and smelt 
them by mistake for the flowers, and repeated " bagus, 
bagus" enthusiastically, in the hope that would show 
sufficient appreciation. 



TO PORT DICKSON AND SEREMBAN. 97 

All the real fun would begin with the arrival of the 
bridegroom, who is met with volleys of rice from the 
lady attendants, and has playfully to force his way 
into the house. He repeats a sentence after the imam 
(priest) to say that he takes the woman as his wife, 
whereupon the guests hail him with shouts of " Peace 
be with thee " ; it is to be hoped including the lady in 
the wish. He then squats, cross-legged, on the left of 
the bride, and the two feed each other with rice simul- 
taneously, after which the guests are allowed to begin to 
eat. Dancing and singing are kept up most of the night, 
through the whole prolonged period, which includes 
many and varied ceremonies which the Penghulu took 
a great deal of trouble to explain. We were rather 
glad we were not there on the last day, when the 
ceremony of the bath forms the finale of the jollifica- 
tions, the bride and bridegroom being doused with 
lucky water, while the guests get very wet and excited, 
and go home at last to indulge in the dolce far 
niente allowable after such protracted festivities. 

It would have taken several days to witness the 
whole of the wedding, and as it was I suddenly 
realised that I was too late to reach the station in 
time for my train. However, if one has a few lucky 
stars in one's horoscope, one can generally in dilemmas 
rely upon somebody or something coming to one's 
help. In this case the Penghulu was ready with a 
suggestion. He knew of a siding in the jungle where 
the train would stop in an accommodating way if 
waved to by a passer-by. So we left the village for 
the jungle, and discovered the railway track, and as I 
still thought the prospects seemed remote of my con- 
tinuing my journey, the new cadet produced an enor- 
mous red handkerchief which he knew would make 
the engine-driver so apprehensive of his own safety 
that he would be certain to stop. The signal accom- 

G 



98 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

plished its purpose, and I stepped into the train from 
a platform of sensitive plants, whose spikey leaves 
and creamy-pink flowers shrivelled dejectedly as my 
footsteps passed over them, and then raised themselves 
to peer inquisitively at the new cadet, who continued 
to flaunt his red handkerchief as he retreated down 
the line. 

My only companion in the railway compartment 
looked like a planter. He did not take the slightest 
notice of me, but sat studying his paper with down- 
cast eyes like the Malay bride. I pondered upon the 
ways of Englishmen. A man of any other nationality 
would surely have shown some interest when a train 
stopped at a jungle siding to let a strange young 
woman get in. But this Englishman ignored my 
presence in the wilderness as if I had just entered the 
underground railway in London, and given him no 
more cause for surprise. I could not help deciding 
that the ways of Englishmen were a little inclined to 
be dull. The seat was not very comfortable. I sat 
forward and then leant back. In an instant the un- 
concerned stranger darted to the other end of the 
carriage and returned with a cushion which he thrust 
behind my back. " Thank you," I said politely as he 
returned to his seat. Through the whole proceeding 
his eyelids were not raised for one second, nor did 
his eyes ever wander from the paper which he held. 
Presently I moved again. Once more, in a twinkling, 
a second cushion was stuffed behind me. Once more I 
said "thank you" to the downcast eyes. They were 
never raised once the whole journey, yet no matter how 
infinitesimal a movement I made, a cushion was im- 
mediately produced. At last I was supported by so 
many that there was hardly any room left for me on 
the seat. I sat on the extreme edge, not daring to 
stir a finger for fear a final cushion should push me 



TO PORT DICKSON AND SEREMBAN. 99 

off on to the floor. I felt it impossible to explain no 
more were required, as it seemed entirely out of place 
to address a pair of lowered lids. Presently we stopped 
at a station and my vis-a-vis departed, leaving me quite 
undecided whether I should have bowed him good-bye 
or not. Up to the last moment he never appeared to 
look at me, yet I had an unpleasant conviction that 
he was thoroughly conscious that I failed to bow when 
he left. 

The train continued its route through the jungle. 
I re-arranged the cushions and resumed my reflections 
upon the ways of Englishmen. But this time I came 
to the conclusion that they were most strange and 
interesting. 



100 



CHAPTER IX. 

NEGRI SEMBILAN. 

THE State now known as Negri Sembilan (the Nine 
Countries) is really composed of a confederation of 
Malay States, each possessing a separate native ruler, 
but all administered by one British Resident and one 
Council, over which the Yam Tuan, the hereditary 
head of Sri Menanti, has been appointed President. 
Seremban, the official capital, is a replica of Taiping 
and Kuala Lumpor, with slight divergencies of climate 
and scenery. There are hills and valleys, jungle and 
rice-fields, and altogether nature shows herself in as 
wild a fit of extravagance as she does everywhere else 
in that tropical land. White civilisation has played 
its part too, and made a fine race -course, with a 
straight of three furlongs, and built all the usual 
Government offices, most of which are situated on 
their own particular hills. There is a church, but at 
the time of my visit no clergyman. A civilian offici- 
ated, and the local ladies gave their services as choir, 
to which a company of dogs in the doorway added 
unsolicited help. 

The Resident's wife had gone to England, and the 
temporary mistress of the Residency was a small 
daughter whose five years of existence had made her 
quite competent for the rdle. In fact, as her pet 
occupation was to parade in front of the guard at the 



NEGRI SEMBILASf. > ''- : ' '-' ' 101 



entrance, and rigorously enforce''tlieir : rieniaihirlg J at ; fhe 
salute, the Sikhs at last petitioned that little Missie 
might not take such a prominent public position, as 
their arms were beginning to ache. 

Little Missie's bed - time came before dinner, and 
then the Eesident became host and hostess rolled into 
one, and far on into the night related anecdotes on the 
verandah, while his men friends snored approval as 
they lay back asleep in long chairs. Their behaviour 
was no aspersion on the stories, for the Kesident was 
renowned for his art in telling them, but few men 
can stay awake long to the sound of any but their 
own voice, as can easily be proved in the Houses 
of Parliament. Sometimes the Dato Klana, the ruler 
of Sungei Ujong, the state in which Seremban is 
situated, used to join the gathering with another 
young chieftain, who wore his cap on the side of 
his head and marched up with a swagger that paraded 
the ancient and royal lineage of himself and his more 
important but less ostentatious relative. The younger 
Dato looked too haughty to appreciate the "mengha- 
dap," or ceremony which takes place once in three years, 
when all the chiefs, except the rulers of Sungei Ujong, 
Eembau, and Jelebu, do obeisance to the Yam Tuan, 
who, though of the royal blood of Menankabau, is not 
one of the sons of the Native States' soil in the same 
august line of which the Dato Klana and his proud 
young relation can boast. But a little chastening of 
spirit was good for the latter, no doubt. 

Kuala Pilah was the show place of the neighbour- 
hood, but, owing to official duties, the Kesident was 
obliged to take me instead to Jelebu, which, however, 
was sufficiently beautiful to incite admiration in the 
mind of a Goth. We started from Seremban early in 
the morning, when the air blew chilly in our faces, and 
the sky glowed like molten gold. Seven miles of the 



102 THE GLOBDLAR JOTTINGS OF GB1SELDA. 

way lay along a beautiful jungle-pass where tree-ferns 
poked their heads at us, having, like an elongated 
Alice in Wonderland, quite lost sight of their roots, 
which were hidden in gorges twenty and thirty feet 
below. Stag-ferns and orchids grew high above on the 
trees, where they had to be planted, according to the 
Malays, because of no available room on the ground. 
Monkeys made faces at us, parroquets screeched, and 
strange forest perfumes insisted that our noses should 
be kept well employed. From the Government bunga- 
low at the top of the pass there were fine views over 
distant blue hills, and greetings from little pink roses 
that condescended to grow at that higher altitude, and 
made us feel suddenly home-sick for English hedge- 
rows in June. 

When we left the jungle we reached fertile, cultivated 
country. The " padi " fields stretched on either side of 
us in bright emerald green luxuriance, with the tur- 
quoise blue sky above them and the sapphire -tinted 
mountains behind, while borders of cocoa-nut trees com- 
pleted the picture of general affluence. The Resident 
expatiated upon the rice with a pride that was fondly 
paternal, since by its means he had increased the 
revenue fourfold and added to his own repute. Never 
were there such orderly " padi " fields, not a rice-stalk 
out of position, not a weed that dared to intrude. Very 
different was this tidy prosperity to the water-logged, 
buffalo-trodden fields which acknowledged no ambitious 
guardianship. 

Jelebu proved a delightful conglomeration of hills, 
valleys, jungle, " padi," palms, Malay houses, and 
English bungalows, where the compounds were flaming 
with hibiscus and gaudy-leaved crotons. In the garden, 
where we passed most of the afternoon, an aloe was in 
bloom. After about ten years of life it produces a 
beautiful blossom and then dies immediately, apparently 



NEGRI SEMBILAN. 103 

from a shock of surprise. We had tea on a mound 
under a great banyan- tree, from which little shreds of 
cloth were hanging, and under which small flags and 
joss-sticks were stuck into the ground. On asking for 
an explanation of these adornments I felt like a mis- 
guided Israelite when I was told that we were seated 
on a "kramat," nothing more nor less than one of 
the " high places " referred to in Holy Writ. They are 
often the burial-sites of people whose graves are con- 
sidered sacred ; or sometimes they possess a tree or a 
rock which is made the object of worship ; or are simply 
reverenced as the abode of the "jin" (spirit) of the 
eminence. Afternoon tea on a "kramat" seemed posi- 
tively flippant, particularly as the one in question was 
very specially favoured with two ancient graves of 
Malayan rajas, and the great banyan possessed of a 
" hantu," or ghost. There are many such trees in the 
Peninsula, and the Malays believe dire misfortune will 
at once befall anybody who ventures to cut one down. 
No native would dare to go near that banyan after dark, 
and I burnt my mouth horribly, swallowing my tea in 
a hurry, so that the Chinese boy might clear away the 
cups and saucers in time. The Celestials in the Penin- 
sula learn to attach the same importance to the haunted 
trees and the high places, and register their vows at 
these shrines. They make awkward mistakes occasion- 
ally, as in the well-known story of the tactless Chinese 
who offered some pork at a Moslem sanctuary, and was 
consequently torn to pieces by the ghost-tiger which 
guarded it. Most " kramats " are supposed to be pro- 
tected by ghost-tigers or elephants, white in appearance 
and inoffensive in behaviour, unless egregiously insulted 
as they were in this case. One began to feel creepy 
hidden under the shadows of the great banyan, while 
the western sky turned gory and then faded to lemon- 
yellow, and the dusk stole over the rice-fields and the 



104 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

palm-trees below, so, instead of making the most of 
such an excellent introduction to phantoms, not one 
of us raised an objection when the Eesident moved a 
prosaic adjournment to the club. 

Joseph joined us at Seremban, and took me back 
overland to Kuala Lumpor a journey which can now 
be accomplished by rail, but at that time we had to 
drive a great part of the way. Here and there we 
passed villages where tailless cats swelled the number 
of the inhabitants, and the women came out and in- 
quired, " Tuan punya ? " the Master's property ? 
pointing at me. I, as a sister, scorned such phrase- 
ology ; but it was rather derogatory to a wife's individ- 
uality, illustrating the fact that, according to Malay 
theory, the woman was no more than the chattel of 
the man. However, it was apparent that, on theory 
being put into practice, many of the burly dames who 
inspected us had long since gained the upper hand, 
for character dominates all the world over, irrespective 
of fashion or sex. 

It was late when we drove through the jungle. 
Darkness hid the night-birds and the insects that made 
themselves audible, and only a few fire -flies darted 
about like link-boys with torches in a fog. The tigers 
and elephants left themselves to the imagination a 
convenient custom of theirs, unless they happen to 
be man-eaters or rogues, when they force themselves 
upon people with a forwardness only explicable when 
one remembers that a rogue is an elephant whose 
manners are so uncouth as to cause him to be cut by 
the whole of his family. In revenge he retaliates upon 
society, and his final condition becomes seven times 
worse than his first. As for a man-eating tiger the 
terror of a village the Malays know him to be the 
four-legged personification of a man thirsting for blood. 
The people of Korinchi, in Sumatra, are supposed to 



NEGRI SEMBILAN. 105 

possess the power of turning into tigers at will. There 
are believed to be tiger folk and elephant folk, who 
live in towns of their own, and behave like ordinary 
mortals, except when periodical attacks of frenzy drive 
them out into the jungle in their animal shape. 

"Oh! I see," I said, as Joseph entered into these 
explanations ; " next time I get a fit of nerves I shall 
know it is the tiger-spirit entering me." 

" You mean the next time your behaviour gets fish- 
wifey," said Joseph, making a most uncalled-for ob- 
servation, as I generally treated him to monotonous 
amiability. However, it does not do to be perpetually 
sugary even with brothers. Most men prefer a savoury 
to a sweet. 

Bushranger lost a shoe before, we ended our journey, 
but chose the convenient moment when we reached 
the town of Semungei, where Chinese shops lined the 
highway and Mongol civilisation paraded its energy. 
Joseph sent the syce to get the horse shod while he and 
I exercised our patience at the rest-house for a con- 
siderable time. At last it transpired that the syce had 
quietly gone to his " makan" (dinner), and that Bush- 
ranger continued destitute of a shoe. Joseph expressed 
his opinion in very forcible language, and went off in 
search of a farrier ; while the cringing Singhalese rest- 
house keeper placed himself at my service in a shivery, 
shakey fashion, as if he expected to be ill-used. He 
was most anxious to show me the sights of Semungei, 
as there is nothing a Singhalese enjoys more than 
imparting information, especially as he never worries 
himself about being accurate. 

" Ladee coming seeing gambling farm ? " he suggested. 

This was just what I did want to see, so I made the 
most of the opportunity. 

There was a good deal of tom-tom beating and noise 
going on in the town. We passed an excited group of 



106 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

people clustered round a man who was dancing with 
a tiger - skin thrown over his shoulders, and seemed 
really possessed of the tiger-spirit which Joseph had 
talked about. The swarthy onlookers were Klings, and 
the rest-house keeper explained that this was the chief 
evening of the Tivalli a Tamil festival which had 
gained these coolies a much appreciated holiday. Be- 
yond a spirit house, with a joss altar in the window, 
we came to the gambling farm that is to say, the 
premises where the right to conduct gambling was 
allowed to a Chinese individual or syndicate on pay- 
ment of regular fees. The Government too tender- 
hearted to let Chinese criminals be flogged for brutal 
offences has not hesitated to make use of gambling 
and opium to swell the monetary returns. However, 
it seems probable that these aids to revenue may be 
discontinued in the not far distant future, and methods 
be adopted for dealing with the opium question on the 
wise and moderate lines employed in Formosa by the 
Japanese. The rest-house keeper ushered me into the 
building, where we found the croupier squatting on top 
of a table, dealing out brass counters and dice. He 
was surrounded by a group of Chinese so intent on 
their occupation that they were oblivious of everything 
else. The game appeared to be a kind of rouge et 
noir. The gambler bet on red or black, and possessed 
himself of a little card of the selected shade. He put 
out a certain number of dice, and won or lost according 
to the colour of the cards dealt out. The Singhalese 
explained every detail with so much elaboration that I 
failed to comprehend a word he said. The air of in- 
difference that cloaks a Chinese did not lend itself to 
a tragic aspect of gambling. Still, the concentration of 
the players showed how momentous they must have 
considered the stakes. It was depressing to see such 
a strong-minded people a prey to their national weak- 



NEGRI SEMBILAN. 107 

ness, so I hurried my mincing escort out again into 
the moist, steamy night. 

" What ladee wanting seeing now ? " he inquired. 

" Ladee " had not much choice in the matter. The 
news of the presence of the white foreign devils had 
been noised abroad in Semungei. In a few moments 
the street was packed by gaping Celestials, to whom a 
white woman's appearance was evidently the hugest 
joke in the world. Even the enterprising Singhalee 
considered more excursions impossible, though he 
clapped his hands and waved them at the crowd, and 
cried " Sh ! sh ! " as if he were trying to disperse a 
cluster of chickens. But the inhabitants of Semungei 
treated his futile efforts with the contempt they de- 
served. A considerate shopkeeper decided that if I was 
to be the show of the evening I might as well enjoy the 
distinction in comfort. He fetched a wooden arm-chair, 
placed it in the middle of the street, and then seated 
me in it. The crowd gathered closer and made per- 
sonal remarks. It seemed an opportunity to acquire 
the "giftie" "tae see ourselves as ithers see us" ad- 
vocated by Kobert Burns. However, perhaps it was as 
well that ignorance of Chinese obliged me to do 
without. The hospitable shopkeeper next presented 
me with a brimming tankard of beer, an abhorrence in 
that climate ; but as the crowd was delighted and began 
to laugh in a chorus, it was impossible to refuse it 
without seeming impolite. I partook of the refresh- 
ment cautiously, but at each sip the onlookers' amuse- 
ment grew more and more uncontrolled. Their faces 
looked so grotesque in the flickering lantern light that 
I began to join in the laughter, which led to some of 
the beer being upset by a merciful accident, and general 
" high-strikes " on the part of Semungei's inhabitants 
appeared the inevitable result. They were spared this 
humiliation by the sight of a dejected trio, sobering 



108 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

in effect. Between the mass of surging figures, topped 
by hilarious yellow faces, came Joseph with a heated 
countenance, leading Bushranger, who wore an air of 
protest, followed by a sulky, crestfallen syce whose 
"makan" had evidently been brought to a sudden end. 
Bushranger's plunges scattered the crowd effectually. 
"Tabek, tabek!" all cried, as we made a precipitate 
start that disconcerted the salutations. We reached 
Kajang that night, and from there the train took us 
back next day to Kuala Lumpor, where a new duty 
awaited us. 



109 



CHAPTER X. 

KUALA LUMPOR, DUSUN TUA. 

THE new duty came to us in the shape of an itinerant 
Member of Parliament, who thought the Malay States 
a tasty tit-bit to help to appease his greed for travel. 

"Nowhere are you safe from globe-trotters nowa- 
days," Joseph grumbled. He used the word with the 
contempt of the Imperial toiler whose surroundings, 
circumstances, and actions are apt to be so misunder- 
stood and misinterpreted by these superficial critics. 
Besides, he knows his guest's probable comment on his 
journeying will be a condescending " Well, really, I 
only left England so as to appreciate it better now I'm 
back " ; and the Imperial toiler wonders whether his 
altruism is sufficiently developed to give of his best 
only that a lesson of contentment may thereby be 
learned. 

But our itinerant M.P. was no ordinary globe-trotter. 
He had penetrated far and wide into such recesses of 
the planet that we felt proud that the Malay States 
remained among the few places he had not yet seen. 
He had been known to boast openly at tea on the 
terrace that some of his happiest hours had been spent 
in such far-away haunts. Consequently the Resident 
was determined to do his duty by him, and Joseph 
and I were called in to play our part. Joseph person- 
ally conducted a tour through the nearest tin-mines, 



110 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

after which the M.P. was intrusted to my keeping for 
a morning, which I decided should be spent in an 
inspection of the Batu caves. 

Nipis went with us. We started after breakfast, and 
drove along the flat Batu road, past Malay houses, past 
fruit-trees and coffee estates nine miles out to the foot 
of a grim-looking hill. Nipis was in such high spirits 
that I had to curtail conversation with our visitor and 
inquire into their cause. He explained that he was 
exulting over the astute way in which he had saved 
himself trouble. For weeks past some half-castes had 
been trying to bring a case on in court. He knew the 
long-winded people he would have to deal with, and 
had put off the hearing of the case until postponement 
was no longer possible. The inevitable day dawned, 
and the disputants arrived in court about ten o'clock. 
Nipis suggested that they should come to an agreement 
without his assistance. They replied that would be 
impossible. He then regretted that he could not hear 
the case till three in the afternoon. He knew the 
value of those hours of tedium, and, as he expected, 
plaintiffs and defendants whiled away the boredom of 
the interval by mutual apologies. Long before three 
o'clock the case was amicably ended, and Nipis pro- 
duced the local paper to show us how each party had 
sent a letter to it the first thing next morning to 
explain that they had only apologised because the 
others had done so first. 

The M.P. looked thoughtful. He had taken out his 
note-book at the beginning of these disclosures and his 
pencil had been kept busy. " Facts to be brought up 
in the House next session,' ' I read over his shoulder. 
I trembled for Nipis. I foresaw the leading articles 
which would wax pathetic over the perversion of 
British justice in a Moslem land. I feared he might 
be served up as a warning unless I intervened. 



KUALA LUMPOR, DUSUN TUA. Ill 

" There's so much matter for you to wade through," 
I said. " So much you'll see and hear in the Malay 
Peninsula. Don't you think you'd better let us sift it 
for you, just give you the important bits ? " 

Nipis gave valuable assistance. The case of the half- 
castes paled before startling revelations. Between our 
united efforts no other itinerant M.P. ever learnt so 
much about any country in such a short space of time. 
But when Nipis understood the object of the exertions 
he did not altogether appreciate them. He seemed to 
have a hankering to become a warning, and such is 
masculine ingratitude rather considered that I had 
blighted his opportunity. 

The grim-looking hill had to be ascended. A rough- 
and-ready path wound up it through tangled under- 
growth. We scrambled along, and the syces clattered 
behind with the luncheon-basket, for we were to have 
a picnic tiffin in the cave. Some way up the side of 
the cliff we came to the entrance, and passed through 
into what looked like one of nature's cathedrals. 
Orifices in the great dome above our heads resembled 
church windows. The dripping of limestone water had 
formed columns and pillars of stalactite, and streamers 
of calcareous matter were suspended like chandeliers 
from the roof. On one side a rock projected like a 
pulpit, and as we had no cleric in our company to 
preach us a sermon the M.P. suggested that he should 
make us a speech. He mounted the eminence and gave 
us the benefit of the rhetoric of St Stephen's, thereby 
considerably startling some bats. Nipis, like many 
plump people, was possessed of a beautiful voice. He 
was so inspired by the M.P.'s example that the moment 
the latter descended from the parliamentary platform 
Nipis converted it into a concert stage. Perched above 
us he was not viewed from the most becoming angle, 
but his voice awoke organ -like echoes, and beyond, 



112 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

down the curved sides of a roofless cave, where masses 
of creepers tumbled, little trickles of water ceaselessly 
gurgled an accompaniment. The " Songs of Araby and 
Tales of Far Cashmere" could never have been sung 
to a setting of greater romance 

" And all my soul shall strive to wake 
Sweet wonder in thine eyes." 

Unfortunately there was a slight landslip at the 
moment, which nearly precipitated the singer over 
the edge of the pulpit and gave my eyes cause to 
wonder at a cloud of dust that suddenly filled them. 
The luncheon -basket was upset, and the men made 
lamentation that they had not sooner occupied their 
mouths with more mundane things. 

It was deliciously cool in the cave. The sunshine 
seemed in an unnecessary frenzy when we emerged 
from the shadows. But the M.P.'s education had to 
be completed, so we tore ourselves away. 

Next day we gave him a curry tiffin. He protested 
that would be no novel experience. We told him to 
wait to make sure. I believe he found that it was. 
It was doubtful whether he had ever before used a 
smooth plantain-leaf as a plate, or piled his rice high 
into a cone, with a surrounding circle of fifty different 
sorts of curries, which in their turn were surrounded by 
an outer circle of all manner of tasty condiments. 

" What's the pine-apple for ? " he inquired as we gave 
him a piece. 

We told him he would know soon. 

" Not at all hot ! Not at all hot ! The mistake we 
make in England is to have curry too hot," he com- 
mented, tasting one of the kinds. 

He grew bolder and tasted another kind, shovelling 
most of one of the little heaps of " sambals " into 
his spoon. With tears streaming down his cheeks he 



KUALA LUMPOR, DUSUN TUA. 113 

now knew the use of the pine -apple, and when he 
continued his tiffin he treated the different curries with 
considerably increased respect. 

"Now I'll have what you call a ' stinker," 3 he 
announced, and was surprised when we laughed very 
much as we helped him to a " whisky stengah " (a 
split), and complimented him upon his rapid acquire- 
ment of Malay. 

Not long after the M.P. had departed on fresh itiner- 
ations, life was varied for me by attacks of intermittent 
fever, which came on about two o'clock every afternooti, 
the hour when the Spectre Huntsman afflicts his victims 
so at least say the Malays. Ah Song was also ill. He 
quite lost his spruce gentlemanly appearance, and went 
about with his temples covered with little round plas- 
ters, which he advised me to try, to drive away the 
bad joss. His dilapidated looks were not a tempting 
advertisement, so my recovery was left to nature, as 
Joseph was away and Chinese methods of nursing con- 
sist simply in leaving the patient alone. However, 
fever, like everything else, can become a matter of 
habit, and in malarious countries one grows accustomed 
to performing one's usual avocations with a temperature 
that in England would mean bed and the doctor, 
despairing friends, and discussed possibilities of an early 
decease. 

When Joseph came back he advised the best remedy 
change of air. We settled to pay a visit to the 
sulphur-springs at Dusun Tua, and invited Nipis and 
the Belle to join us there. The latter was the lady 
who held the flattering but onerous position of the 
officially acknowledged beauty of the Federated Malay 
States. 

We assembled at the pretty bungalow at Dusun Tua, 
where pale-blue convolvuli tumbled over the porch. A 
nicely kept lawn in front of it might have been im- 



114 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

ported from England, but beyond there were palms 
and plantains and giant jungle-trees to assure us of 
tropical wilds. On one side of the bungalow a little 
river babbled with noisy importance. On the other 
side a cloud of steam rose up from the sulphur-spring. 
We began our daily round with a hot sulphur-bath, 
followed by a cold dip in the fussy stream, which we 
decided to navigate so as to judge of its boastful 
pretensions on our own account. 

It was scarcely an expedition to be recommended to 
invalids, and the Belle and I were a little doubtful 
about it for other reasons, but Joseph swept our objec- 
tions to one side. He secured a bamboo-raft, on which 
a pair of inverted empty whisky-cases were placed in 
state as seats. Two tiny Malay boys were perched on 
the front of the raft, with poles; and though their 
presence did not inspire us with confidence it certainly 
had the effect of making us ashamed of our fears, so 
we scrambled up on to the raft, and in so doing ran 
it upon the rocks, amidst the jeers and derision of an 
audience of unclothed children who had come to see 
the start. However, Joseph and Nipis pushed us off, 
and the small boys poled us down-stream with great 
dexterity. We had to bend low, as jungle -trees 
clutched at each other above us, and our movements 
disturbed black shadows and quiet pools. Suddenly 
we were startled by an awe-inspiring cry from the 
Malay boys. They were entreating the protection of 
the spirit of the water, and before we had time to 
inquire what danger was about to befall us we were 
caught and whirled and twisted and shaken in the 
frothing, eddying, circling waves that splashed head- 
long over us. A moment later we knew we had shot 
the rapids in safety, though one dripping whisky-case 
disconsolately clinging to a few bamboos was all that 
remained of the raft. Even this foothold was suddenly 



KUALA LUMPOE, DUSUN TUA. 115 

taken from us, for, turning a sharp bend in the river, 
we came upon an enormous tree-trunk that stretched 
across as a barrier from bank to bank. All we saw 
of the men and the boys were legs sprawling into the 
water, while the Belle and I somehow mounted the 
trunk and bestrode it till the tottery bamboos were 
brought back to support us again. 

Soon after, we neared civilisation in the shape of Ulu 
Langat. Instead of jungle, rice now clothed the banks 
of the river, and an antiquated wheel fetched up water 
by means of hollow bamboos attached to all its spokes. 
Each bamboo poured its contents in turn into a long 
trough which forwarded liquid refreshment to the 
" padi " fields. The rice was golden now it was almost 
the time of the harvest and made a burnished fore- 
ground to the thatched house-tops of the Malay village, 
where we dragged ourselves ashore and were dried 
by the thoughtful inhabitants, who ordered a member 
of their community to climb the notched stair -way, 
cut in a cocoa-nut tree -trunk, and bring us down 
most acceptable fruit. 

A Chinese happened to be visiting Ulu Langat that 
day on business, and the Malays told us that he came 
from a Sakai encampment, where he had taken up his 
residence and married a Sakai girl. We were charmed 
to hear of aborigines within reach in the jungle, and 
Joseph arranged with the Chinese that a Sakai should 
meet us next day and guide us to his forest retreat. 

The trysting-place was on the same Langat river, but 
the jungle grew so thick on the banks that we had to 
make our way inland instead of keeping close to the 
water-side. Our Sakai guide never hesitated. His 
towsled head and bare body glimmered ahead like a 
beacon when the interlaced tree-tops, with their burdens 
of hanging parasites, shut out the sunlight and almost 
turned day into night. After getting our hair caught 



116 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

continually, like Absalom's, in the bushes, and trying to 
learn the art of tight-rope walking on half-rotted tree- 
trunks that made the only available bridges to streams, 
we came to a clearing in the forest where yams and 
gourds were planted, and where the Sakais' pets, a tame 
deer and some uncouth -looking dogs, were disporting 
themselves. The Sakais apparently do not dislike dogs 
like the Malays, who accuse them of being filled with 
anticipations of the bones they will enjoy at their 
master's funeral-feast. They appear not to reflect that 
such predestined indulgence can only be accounted for 
by excess of fasting during their master's life. Beyond 
the clearing we came to a few rough huts the Sakais 
had built themselves by the river-side. A generation 
ago these jungle people would have fled before any 
stranger and hidden in the forest like the rest of the 
wild animals. Now they came out to receive us with 
quite society manners, perhaps recognising the cause 
they had for friendliness with the white men, before 
whose coming they had been ruthlessly killed by the 
Malays or caught and sold into slavery. 

Two Chinese lived in this encampment, working hard 
as usual, and doing a good business as intermediaries 
in the Sakais' commercial relations with the outer world. 
The commerce cannot have been complicated, for the 
Sakais' needs, though ever increasing, still continue 
conveniently few. The fashions of the jungle are not 
worrying, for man or woman can be sure of the mode 
in an abridged costume of bark-cloth. One individual 
evidently wished to cut a dash and outvie his simpler 
relations, for he was gorgeous in a yellow "sarong" that 
somehow only seemed to make him look more of a wild 
beast. His features did not seem in keeping with com- 
plications of raiment ; and with his small eyes, heavy 
jowl, and sharply pointed ears, he only looked suited to 
pose as the " Hyena Swine " in Mr Wells' ' Island of Dr 



KUALA LUMPOR, DUSUN TUA. 117 

Moreau.' The Belle and I were duly thankful that 
there was no necessity for a tSte-a-tSte with him. 

Housekeeping cannot worry the Sakai ladies much 
more than the fashions. The little plantation provided 
for most of their needs, and a cleverly constructed 
bamboo-trap on the river kept them supplied with fresh 
fish. The men, who looked strong and sturdy, were all 
armed with blow-pipes long hollow weapons through 
which they shoot poisoned darts. We wanted to ad- 
mire their marksmanship, so Nipis hung his topi on a 
tree and told them to use it as a target. He said it 
would be so convenient to have it to show in the future, 
in corroboration of some story of hair-breadth escapes. 

After consultation a patriarch stepped forward. He 
placed his pipe between his thick lips and blew down it. 
An arrow whizzed through the air and struck with a 
little thud right into the crown of the topi. We ap- 
plauded, but after all it was only what we had expected, 
so we did not manifest our approval in any very exuber- 
ant way. The Sakais, however, seemed awe-struck. 
They whispered remarks to each other, pointed excitedly 
at the patriarch and gazed at the solar topi as if it were 
bewitched. Candidate after candidate now stepped for- 
ward and levelled his blow-pipe in the direction of the 
target, but the hat escaped scatheless except for its 
original wound. It was all too evident that these were 
degenerate Sakais, who had learnt to secure their dinners 
by such much easier methods that they had forgotten 
how to make use of blow-pipes, all except the patriarch, 
and he was wary ; no eloquence could persuade him to 
have a second try. They seemed to understand that 
they had disappointed our expectations, and looked 
crestfallen and rather ashamed of themselves. As a 
matter of fact, the discontinuance of poisoned darts 
flitting through the wilderness seemed strongly to be 
recommended ; and in regard to personal appearance no 



118 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

practice could be more detrimental, for the coarse pout- 
ing lips of these people are said to be partly accounted 
for by the way in which they have to protrude them to 
take hold of the blow-pipes. 

The Belle and I decided that, though the Sakais could 
not improve their broad, flattened features, there was 
really not the slightest excuse for their going about in 
such a to wsled- haired, shock -headed state. Yet to 
some this was rather becoming, and we relinquished the 
idea of sending them brushes and combs. One Sakai 
girl was really pretty. She made us understand the 
stories of Malays who have ventured much to gain a 
forest bride. But such Malays are few and far between, 
and so are good-looking Sakais. 

The evening was the most beautiful time at Dusun 
Tua. That afternoon, when we returned from the Sakai 
encampment, we went down to the river and feasted on 
durians. The bank of the rushing stream was an ideal 
place to partake of this marvellous fruit, and as the 
others devoured it I had to follow their example in self- 
defence against the smell. The process of learning to 
like it was trying, and the result of succeeding even 
more so, for by then I had to leave the Peninsula filled 
with an acquired longing for the unattainable. A 
course of mangosteens came after the other fruit, and 
then, as we balanced ourselves on rickety stones by the 
river, a silence fell over us, not due to the durians, 
though, judging by Joseph's consumption of them, that 
might have seemed a probable cause. No ; we were 
quiet because the glory of the dying day had something 
awe-inspiring about it. Behind the purple hills the sky 
in the east was aflame from the parting rays of the sun, 
which had dipped behind the western jungle. Sus- 
pended like a lamp from the burnished sky a crescent 
moon poured silvery radiance over the splashing river, 
which gleamed and sparkled like diamonds. Presently 



KUALA LUMPOR, DUSUN TUA. 119 

a mountain-top looked ablaze and a great star burst 
into view and vied with the moon in illuming our poor 
little planet. Strange lights flickered on the hills. 
Around us the forest stirred itself; there was rustling 
among the bushes ; a black panther, or some other wild 
creature, had come to improve his constitution by a 
dose of sulphur-water. But the spell was broken. The 
night was with us. The realisation of things as they are 
dispels the awesome anticipation of things as they may 
be. The Belle and I fetched our guitars and sang 
out-of-doors in the moonlight, while the men fanned 
away the mosquitoes and sand-flies the drawbacks to 
all Malay Edens. Yet, however, in spite of them we 
felt in no hurry to leave Dusun Tua. Fate decreed 
otherwise. Next morning a scared-looking Malay found 
his way to the bungalow and, presenting himself before 
us, poured out the same old story that is repeated in all 
parts of the globe where men go as pioneers and build 
empires upon personal suffering and sacrifice. He ex- 
plained that another victim had fallen alone and un- 
attended at some small jungle out-station. The body 
had been left untouched while the Malay had been 
despatched to give information to the nearest white 
"Tuan." 

Joseph decided that, while the rest of us returned to 
Kuala Lumpor, he would set out by himself and rescue 
what remained of the poor shattered frame left to such 
shocking exposure. And so he performed his gruesome 
labour of love and brought the body to its last home in 
a Christian graveyard. He collected the dead man's 
things and sent them, with a tender little letter, such as 
men sometimes know how to write, to a country parish 
in England where, perhaps, the sun of some woman's 
existence set to rise no more in this life, while far 
away from her an unpretentious grave marked another 
foundation-stone of the Empire. 



120 



CHAPTER XL 

KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 

" CHRISTMAS comes but once a year," but the years 
seem collapsible; at any rate Christmas gets in more 
and more of a hurry to come round. On this occasion 
it brought unexpected tidings to Joseph, who was 
to be transferred to Kuala Lipis in Pahang. He 
had just learnt something about his present billet 
in fact, was becoming efficient so it was evidently 
considered time to let him experiment elsewhere 
and give some ignoramus the chance of acquiring 
his hardly - gained knowledge. Indeed, my brother 
was already receiving frantic appeals from his suc- 
cessor for books which would tell him something about 
his new work. As Joseph had not been to Pahang, and 
the novelty appealed to him, he acquiesced without 
offering any argument, and consequently I began to 
make my own plans. Kuala Lipis lies in the depths of 
the forest. No house there was yet ready for Joseph, 
and his new duties would be constantly taking him 
into the jungle, so he agreed that, after paying Pahang 
a visit, I might just as well go back to Europe, as, 
under the changed circumstances, my company would 
not often be able to benefit him. Although not 
Hebraic, it almost stands to reason that having one 
brother called Joseph I should have another called 
Benjamin. The latter is in the army, and at that 



KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 121 

time was stationed in India, where he and his wife, 
Anemone, invited me to stop with them on my way. 
So I wrote and forewarned them of the date of my 
coming, and then, these duties over, Joseph and I 
gave ourselves up to the enjoyment of Christmas 
in Kuala Lumpor and the Resident's dinner - party, 
to which every one had been invited from far and 
near. 

About fifty assembled and drew lots for partners; 
and as the women were few and the men many, it was 
decided that the latter should progress between the 
courses, to give each of them a chance. The table was 
covered with Chinese toys of every variety toys that 
grunted, toys that whistled, toys that squeaked. Pan- 
demonium was the result. 

"I've known this sort of thing happen sometimes 
with dessert," groaned an elderly judge from Singapore, 
" but never before with the soup." 

A sufficient shock was in store for him, to make the 
dessert original, for the Resident's favourite horses then 
pranced into the room, considerably agitating those of 
us whose personal adornments they mistook for the 
dainties they considered their due. When they had 
finished their Christmas dinner, and every one's nervous 
tension was a little relieved, there was a general out- 
cry for a speech. The ladies were not to be let off, 
said the Resident, and called upon Mrs Freshcombe as 
the newest bride. 

She looked at me imploringly. 

" Propose a toast : that's no trouble," I suggested. 

Mrs Freshcombe stood up hesitated. " Sweethearts 
and husbands," she announced spasmodically, and 
sat down. 

Her audience looked surprised. Mrs Retale was un- 
utterably shocked, and sent round for an explanation. 

" Of course I mean one at a time the sweetheart 



122 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

first and the husband afterwards. Not both together," 
said Mrs Freshcombe, growing annoyed. 

Some of the married men looked a little self-con- 
scious, but before Mrs Eetale could inquire into the 
express definition of the original toast the Eesident 
rose to his feet. 

" The ladies," he announced. 

With tears in his eyes he proceeded to expatiate upon 
them. Were there no ladies there would be no society. 
Were there no ladies there would be no gentlemen. In 
short, he demonstrated the utility of the invention of 
woman in a manner that left no loophole for contradic- 
tion. It was the ladies, he said, who carried home and 
beauty and pleasure and duty (lapsing into rhyme in 
his enthusiasm) with them wherever they went. 

We all felt aggressively worthy, even I, who had not 
the slightest right to the sensation. Still, I did not 
see why I should not lay a fictitious claim to it when 
such an excellent opportunity afforded itself. 

Then the curtains behind the dinner - table were 
parted and a giant Christmas-tree came into view. It 
had a hang-dog, decrepit appearance, as though it knew 
it was only shamming ; but its bare, spikey branches, 
feebly aping a fir-tree, were resplendent with gifts for 
the guests. Unfortunately, the candles burnt down in 
the Chinese -lanterns and set the paper on fire. A 
conflagration ensued. However, the guests poured 
chatties of water in every direction, and praised the 
illuminations as very well timed. Before the end of 
the evening Mrs Eetale had fallen flat on the floor, the 
Belle had succeeded in jumping a sofa, and the elderly 
judge had turned a somersault, quite unintentionally 
of course. And so on we all played at being children 
in that innocent, boisterous fashion that makes Anglo- 
Eastern society sometimes appear rather like a con- 
glomeration of overgrown school-boys and school-girls 



KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 123 

in the eyes of the rest of the world. When we made 
an effort to leave a gloomy discovery awaited us. A 
practical joker had dismissed the syces and rickshaw- 
coolies, to their intense satisfaction, and nothing re- 
mained for us but to choose between walking home in 
the small hours or stopping on at the Kesidency, where 
the roof was being nearly lifted by cheers for the 
Eesident. However, no one was very greatly annoyed, 
for it was Christmas time, and our jollity, though ex- 
hausting, left us none the less disposed to remember 
the message of peace and goodwill. 

The days that followed were filled with employment. 
The house had to be dismantled and boxes packed 
ready to start ahead of us in the bullock-carts. Joseph 
gave minute instructions with great importance. Ah 
Song, after the manner of his countrymen, listened 
politely, and did everything just his own way. Ah 
Song had lately been indulging in a complete clearance 
of relations. Father, mother, brothers, grandparents, 
and uncles had departed this life in succession, accord- 
ing to the statements he made. Some had even suc- 
ceeded in dying several times. These family afflictions 
being interpreted meant that Ah Song wanted to pay 
China a visit. No doubt he had a wife there, and 
occasionally recollected the fact. Chinese marry early, 
but it is not the fashion for them to take their wives 
with them when they travel abroad. 

Ah Li, the "tukang ayer" (water-carrier), was pro- 
moted to be boy in Ah Song's stead. Ah Li belonged 
to the patient, placid type found among the lower 
orders in parts of China. His kind gentle eyes, and 
the love (partly cupboard) that the animals bore him, 
quite belied the aspersions of cruelty that are made, 
without distinction, against the whole Chinese race. 
Yet had it so happened that one had chanced to be 
tortured in his presence, the odds would probably have 



124 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

been a hundred to one that Ah Li would have watched 
the proceedings without the slightest distress. It is 
doubtful whether they would have interested or 
amused him, but in all likelihood he would have 
resignedly considered them no affair of his, just in the 
same way that hardly one of us is not guilty of 
passing by on the other side of the cruelty and misery 
that are perpetually staring us in the face. The 
woman who can loll comfortably in her carriage behind 
a horse suffering obvious discomfort, if not pain, from 
a tightened bearing - rein, parades by her vulgar in- 
sensibility that she has not attained to even the same 
scale of enlightened culture as Ah Li. He, at anyrate, 
was always considerate to dumb creatures, even when 
the monkey tried everybody's patience by getting her 
chain so twisted round all the bushes that most of the 
garden shrubs had to be immolated before he could 
accomplish her release. She was never an exemplary 
monkey. Her practical jokes were beyond comment. 
Laden coolies dropped their breakable burdens in 
atoms in all directions as she jumped out from her 
hiding-places and snatched at their bare legs. Her 
favourite pleasantry was suddenly to pull the bath- 
room door wide open when splashing water intimated 
that some one was in the middle of his or her bath. 
Yet it was difficult to correct her. Her manners had 
the superficial veneer of an accomplished woman of the 
world. She flirted outrageously with Huntrabbit, and 
showed herself proficient in every wile of the born 
coquette. It was humiliating to trace one's own 
little womanly manoeuvres back like this to their 
primitive source. Joseph refused to take her to 
Pahang, and Nipis undertook to drive her to her 
new home at Kuala Lumpor hospital. He was rather 
nervous about it, but his fears were unnecessary. The 
small creature mounted the splash-board and sat bolt 



KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 125 

upright, like a well- disciplined groom. We heard that 
she died a year after from rapid consumption. Just 
before the end came she possessed herself of the 
Matron's tooth - brush, and was last seen sitting 
solemnly in the middle of one of the hospital wards 
feebly cleaning her teeth. But every one knows the 
vagaries of monkeys. Simian nature is much the same 
all over the world. 

It was sad to say good-bye to the animals four- 
legged and two-legged. Even the " dhobi " who had 
destroyed half the contents of one's wardrobe was 
viewed by the light of a melancholy glamour when the 
clothes came home for the last time the last time in 
Kuala Lumpor, that is to say. It would have been 
positively pathetic had not their obtrusive and most 
unusual condition of whiteness betrayed the anticipa- 
tion of a final haggle over remote payments that un- 
pardonable delinquencies had caused to be reduced. 
One wonders whether the greed of gain was exactly the 
same in the days when actual commodities were bar- 
tered and the troublesome symbol of worldly possessions 
was not even known by name. I suppose even a Tamil 
" dhobi " finds it hard to make two ends meet, and in 
fact does not always attempt it, so far as those which 
engird his own person are concerned. 

The Chinese decided to give a special theatrical per- 
formance to express their regret at Joseph's departure. 
We made up quite a big theatre party, including a 
number of the most influential Chinese magnates who 
sat with us. The theatre was roomy, with a gallery 
running round three sides, and seats below that cor- 
responded to the stalls. The play had been going on 
for some time, and would continue indefinitely a great 
deal longer. However, we were not expected to stay 
more than two or three hours, and certainly that was 
the limit of time our ears and nerves could endure. 



126 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Like all Chinese doings, play-acting involved an ex- 
cruciating amount of noise. The efforts of the orchestra 
were untiring. One performer clashed huge cymbals 
exultantly, others banged upon drums and beat upon 
wood with sticks. The performance did not interfere 
with repairs to the stage, and workmen nailed and 
hammered while the actors complacently went on with 
their parts. The hammering was just as musical as the 
rest of the orchestration, and the voices of the per- 
formers penetrated piercingly above the din. The 
women's parts were taken by men. Their method of 
imitating the female voice was to pitch their own in 
an extraordinary high squeak that added to what 
seemed a general conspiracy to deafen the audience. 
The only stage scenery consisted of the workmen and 
a few unemployed coolies, and a mixed collection of 
beggars and babies, who threaded their way in and out 
between the actors in unruffled serenity, yet not in 
a manner calculated to add intensity to the play. All 
the same, Mandarin life was depicted in its most 
gorgeous finery, and the magnificence of the actors' 
costumes might well have excited the envy and emula- 
tion of Mr Beerbohm Tree. 

By dint of stretching our imaginations, and holding 
our ears when the orchestra grew specially violent, we 
managed to gain a vague insight into the plot. This 
was not done without laboured explanations from our 
Chinese companions. The Belle and I had most ques- 
tions to ask, but we had to let Joseph act as our spokes- 
man. The Chinese "towkays" were models of cour- 
tesy, but they had a way of looking over our heads 
which reminded us that in quite recent times the mere 
mention of a woman was considered highly improper 
in Chinese society. The fact of the existence of woman 
it was thought only polite to ignore. Seated there by 
those condescending " towkays " the Belle and I began 



KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 127 

to feel conscious of the impropriety of our existence 
a most depressing sensation, as there seemed no 
panacea for such an unintentional lapse of decorum, 
and even Mrs Ketale, or Mrs Grundy herself, could not 
deliver us from being what we unavoidably were. So 
Joseph inquired, on our behalf, why one of the actors 
was adorned with wings behind his head. It appeared 
he was the scholar who had passed the examination 
with highest marks. 

" But why," said Joseph, " have some of the men 
whitened noses ? " 

This was precisely what the Belle and I most wanted 
to know. 

" That is to show you they are bad men bad char- 
acters," said the chief " towkay." 

I suppose he spoke the truth, though it seemed a 
strange way of emphasising villainy. But perhaps a 
Chinese might consider the red-nosed ruffian of British 
melodrama equally ridiculous. 

We really hoped the play was becoming a little 
clear to us. We had discovered the heroine in distress, 
with a voice more than usually high-pitched and 
strident. We had assigned the rdle of hero to the 
winged scholar; and the villains, who seemed to pre- 
dominate, were obvious with their noses chalked like 
billiard-cues. But just as we hoped to work up our 
enthusiasm the plot was interrupted for the time 
being by the arrival of a body of acrobats, who rushed 
in and went through marvellous gymnastics, while the 
orchestra never paused for one moment, and some of 
the actors marched in and hurried through their parts 
regardless of the opposition performance. At this 
point we intimated that we feared we would be obliged 
to leave before long. Thereupon the chief feature of 
the entertainment commenced. The most gorgeously 
attired men came on to the stage and kow-towed in 



128 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OP GRISELDA. 

our direction. They were followed by a man in a 
white mask, who flung himself into the most remark- 
able attitudes in front of a big % scroll, and then turned 
round and gesticulated violently with stiffened fingers. 
This, the " towkays " explained, was by way of convey- 
ing good wishes to Joseph. He repeated the same 
performance in front of another scroll this time with 
the object of expressing good wishes to the ladies. The 
Belle and I felt relieved at being honoured so unex- 
pectedly, and ventured to inquire why the performer 
did not express his felicitations in words. He was 
deaf and dumb, the " towkays " explained, as though 
such a qualification were almost a necessity to a 
tragedian, and as it mitigated noise, the Belle and 
I did not argue the point. 

A huge banner was now hung across the stage. It 
was a presentation to Joseph, whose virtues were 
flaunted in gold Chinese characters on rich rose-pink 
satin embroidered in wonderful shades of purple and 
blue and green. Joseph grew quite embarrassed as the 
"towkays" attempted to translate all the encomiums 
unstintingly lavished upon him. He thought we had 
better be going, so there was much hand-shaking with 
the " towkays " before I was prepared for it, as I had 
quite anticipated shaking hands with myself in the 
orthodox Chinese way. Joseph did not take the banner 
away with him. Its glories and his virtues were to 
adorn the stage throughout the rest of the performance, 
and then it was to be sent to him to beautify his new 
home. 

The time had come to set out for Pahang. Early 
one morning Joseph and I started by train, leaving 
behind a group of friends of varied complexions who 
had come to the station to see the last of us. 

" And so good-bye, Kuala Lumpor," I said. " Capi- 
tal of the Federated Malay States town where Malays 



KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 129 

are as scarce as possible. Isn't that rather a paradox, 
Joseph one for which we are responsible ? Is it 
justified?' 7 

"Baces, like individuals, must work out their own 
salvation," said Joseph, making one of his ponderous 
statements. " The Malays are given every oppor- 
tunity. Like the rest of us, it's a case of take it or 
leave it. It's a little abrupt for them, perhaps, to be 
plunged into the up-to-date straight out of the feudal 
system, but what brain-plotting, slow growth, gradual 
discontent, and all the rest of it they've been saved. 
This was a country where the Sultans had first right 
to everything, including every woman. Now every 
man, woman, and child has his or her rights unassail- 
able, as far as we can make them so. Because this is 
what British rule tries to accomplish, we Britishers are 
the pioneers of civilisation over the world." 

: ' Bravo ! Joseph," I said. " You'll have to stand as 
absentees' candidate in the Federal Parliament of the 
future." 

Joseph looked contemplative. One of his air-castles 
was local home rule, a Federal Imperial Parliament, and 
voting possibilities for the civilians, soldiers, sailors, 
and all makers of Empire abroad. 

The railway from Kuala Lumpor to Kuala Kubu runs 
through the heart of the tin-mining country, where the 
jungle has been exterminated for miles. We watched 
the coolies run like distracted ants among the gaping 
mines and the women labourers carry the pans in which 
the tin is washed. This alluvial wealth must come to 
an end at last, but reef mining can be carried on then, 
and the riches of the eastern side of the Peninsula are 
as yet almost untouched. 

At Kuala Kubu we left the train, for Pahang is still 
unconnected by rail with any of the western States. 
We stopped the night at the dainty little place nestling 

I 



130 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

at the foot of Bukit Kutu, its own particular hill. Next 
morning we started on our drive of twenty-two miles to 
the top of the mountain -range that forms the spinal 
column of the Malay Peninsula. The gradient of the 
road is so good that Bushranger could trot all the way 
in comfort, and at each mile we accomplished the air 
grew more light and fresh. 

At Sangka Dua we stopped to rest in the verandah 
of the police station, where we looked out over the 
Sungei Selangor and the Chiling, two rushing rivers of 
clear sparkling water that came bouncing down the hill- 
sides. A little farther on their glory would have de- 
parted, for they would become tainted and jaundiced in 
colour, like most Malay streams, by washings for tin, 
which it suits Malay indolence to secure in this rather 
desultory way. 

We continued our journey. On one side of the road 
a steep precipice sheered down, losing itself in a tangle 
of virgin forest. On the other side a high bank of 
jungle rose up like an impenetrable wall. Feathery 
bamboos threw up fresh shoots like spears. Julotong 
trees reared themselves tall and stately. Araks started 
their treacherous careers from the tops of high trees, 
swung themselves to the ground, and then sprang up 
afresh in unprincipled independence, flinging out ten- 
drils like arms to strangle the very trees to which they 
owed their existence. It came to one as a shock to find 
the worst form of human depravity repeated in the 
heart of the jungle. In spite of all the luxurious 
growth, there was no mossy grass which looked tempt- 
ing to sit upon. The serpent in Eden was too much 
in evidence, and more than one went wriggling across 
the road. Fortunately none of them were hamadryads, 
the most alarming species in the Peninsula, for they 
are ready to play the part of plaintiffs instead of 
being merely defendants, and have been known to 



KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 131 

make their pursuit of a victim as remorseless as any 
lawsuit. 

There were few flowers near the ground, though some 
of the bushes bore berries. One shrub looked like a 
raspberry-bush producing strawberries by mistake. The 
flowers scentless orchids grew so high above us that 
we had to strain our necks when we wanted to admire 
them. Here and there the jungle looked almost on fire, 
where trees blazed with a covering of the creeper which 
is the actual flame of the forest, though it has in- 
dulgently allowed a tree to assume the name. A troop 
of monkeys, called krahs, grinned at us as they swung 
from the branches ; and away in the distance we could 
hear the conversation of their siamang kindred, it 
sounded like the beating of drums. A blue-grey bird 
with a yellow breast persistently hopped in front of us, 
jerking its tail as it danced along in the most self- 
conscious affected way. 

" What does that bird want ? " I asked Joseph, who 
sometimes resented being appealed to for all the 
psychological workings of birds, insects, and animals, 
and accused me of alternately taking him to be simian 
or bovine. 

" That's the ' p'landak minta 'api/ the mouse-deer's 
mother-in-law," he said. " You'd better not quarrel 
with her or you may get transformed in consequence." 
He went on to explain that in the days of King Solo- 
mon, a favourite period with Malays, the mouse-deer 
was a person with a real live mother-in-law, who had 
an annoying trick of dancing in front of him. They 
quarrelled so violently over this habit that the son-in- 
law was changed into a mouse-deer and the mother-in- 
law into a bird which continues to dance in front of 
the mouse-deer, and in his absence evidently thought 
we would do as substitutes. 

As the sun rose high in the sky a hush fell over the 



132 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

jungle. The silence was so intense that we seemed to 
move through an enchanted forest. Slumber was the 
spell. Bird and beast were taking their afternoon 
siesta. Another stage of our journey was done. We 
reached the Semangko Pass, more familiarly known 
as the Gap, the summit of the mountain-range, where 
vistas opened to the east and west through the jungle. 

In those days there was no substantial rest-house, 
and our only refuge was a tumble-down shanty which 
tottered on the edge of a precipice and looked in immi- 
nent danger of toppling over abruptly. We were not 
the only arrivals. The scanty accommodation was 
already filled to overflowing by a party of Australian 
miners from Eaub, the pioneers, more or less, of gold- 
mining in Malaya. I gazed at them with interest. 
There is something so awe-inspiring about people who 
are making fortunes, though they generally have a 
modest habit of looking more than ordinarily ordinary. 

" How do you do ? " I said to one of the party whom 
Joseph presented to me. 

" I'm very well indeed, thank you very much indeed. 
And thank you very much indeed for your great kind- 
ness in asking." 

I was quite overwhelmed by this unexpected grati- 
tude, and did not venture to say " how do you do " to 
the others for fear they might not have been so very 
well, and have imagined that I was inquiring for exact 
details of their particular ailments. 

As the day waned the jungle awakened. There was 
buzzing and croaking and hooting on all sides. Presently 
a horn sounded. 

" Ah ! The bullock coach," said Joseph. " What a 
bore if we have to cram in some more people." 

The horn continued to sound at intervals, but the 
coach seemed to get no nearer. About an hour passed 
by, but still no sign of any arrivals. 



KUALA LUMPOR, AND JOURNEY TO SEMANGKO PASS. 133 

' That horn is getting on my nerves," I said at last. 
" Don't you think the coach must have broken down ? 
They may be tooting for some one to go and help 
them." 

It was not till I had insisted upon a relief -party 
being formed that Joseph made open confession that 
the horn was nothing more nor less than the serenade 
of a trumpeter beetle. 

We were packed very tightly into the tottery edifice. 
Several of the men had to content themselves for the 
night with long chairs in the dining-room. I was given 
the best bedroom, which was partially exposed to the 
elements, and a shadow pantomime took place on the 
dilapidated ceiling of events in the adjacent apartment, 
only divided by a flimsy partition which nowhere at- 
tempted to make a connection with the roof. But what 
did it matter ? What did anything matter compared 
with the blissful luxury of feeling cool ? The wind 
blew refreshingly and soughed through the jungle like 
the lapping of waves on the shore. Inside the bunga- 
low the sounds were less melodious, for the snores were 
pitched in such different keys that no musical genius 
could possibly have made them harmonise. But the 
night was short -lived. While it was still dark the 
Eaub miners bestirred themselves and continued their 
journey. Joseph and I were more leisurely, as we 
knew that every step of the way the air would grow 
more hot and heavy. 

About five miles from the Gap the jungle opened out 
and gave one a glorious vista. For miles and miles the 
forest stretched with all its myriad foliage, and here 
and there a Sakai clearing or the silver twist of a river 
faintly discernible. The village of Tras was in the 
valley below. Beyond the second range of hills Eaub 
lay hidden. Highest of all the blue mountains stood 
out Gunong Tahan, between 10,000 and 12,000 feet 



134 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

high, and thought to be the loftiest in the Peninsula. 
Below us stretched the largest Malay State, also be- 
lieved to be the most wealthy in minerals. Alluvial 
tin has been little found, but lode-mining for tin and 
gold is being worked very successfully. The gold is 
considered the finest in the world, superior to the 
Australian : so at least we were told, but perhaps our 
informant was prejudiced. Although the view was so 
extended, little sign of human life was visible. As yet 
the trees and the creepers, the birds and the beasts, held 
fairly undisputed sovereignty over mile upon mile of 
gorgeous wilderness. But after passing Tras and driv- 
ing some way along a lovely valley we came to Eaub 
and the gold-mines. There all day long machinery 
hummed, and all night through it added its voice to 
the madrigals of the jungle. The white man had come 
with his contrivances and the white man would stay. 
Those who wish to tread untrodden byways had better 
make haste. Cook's tourists will soon get introductions 
to all the most remote and exclusive corners of either 
hemisphere. 



135 



CHAPTER XII. 

PAHANG. 

AFTER a night at Kaub we started on the last stage 
of our journey, from time to time passing Malay 
houses and cultivated country by the river - side. 
Mud -bespattered buffaloes stared at us superciliously, 
as if they resented our intrusion and would like to 
express their annoyance forcibly with their horns. 
As far as the Malays are concerned, "a little child 
may lead them," like the lions in the millennium ; but 
the odour of white people is said to be too much for 
their nerves, though it does not seem appropriate that 
such unsavoury creatures should be allowed to be so 
ultra-particular. The Malays we met made obeisance 
to the new "Tuan" who was come among them, but 
the moment I held up my glasses they were transfixed 
in paralytic surprise. They evidently considered that 
I was practising magic upon them, and those innocent 
pieces of tortoiseshell were undoubtedly their sole topic 
of conversation for days. Joseph begged me to put 
them away for fear they should undermine his influence 
with the people, but I absolutely refused. What was 
the use of exploring untrodden regions if one imme- 
diately pocketed one's eyes ? 

At Benta we stopped at the police station, which at 
that moment was proving its utility by the reception of 
a scared-looking Celestial whom a Dyak sergeant was 



136 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

dragging in by the scruff of the neck. After practice 
in head-hunting, the latter no doubt found police work 
easy, and soon disposed of his victim and presented 
himself before us, looking the picture of martial smart- 
ness and displaying unbounded pride in his uniform. 
He seemed a worthy representative of manhood, for he 
looked as if he could be so alarming, which is more 
than can be said of most men nowadays. However, 
there are advantages in such disadvantages, as I came 
to the conclusion when Joseph unfolded a terrible story 
of one of the Dyak's compatriots who had been per- 
suaded by a missionary to give up head-hunting and 
was jeered at in consequence by his lady-love. He at 
last undertook to satisfy her bloodthirsty propensities, 
and fulfilled his promise by bringing her the heads of 
her father, mother, brother, and rival admirer. There- 
upon his tribesmen seized him and crammed him into 
a small bamboo pig-basket, where starvation ended his 
days. The lady-love must have felt sorry that she had 
not learned the lesson valuable to most women of all 
nationalities namely, that if you prevent a man from 
having his own way, you will probably have cause to 
regret his method of carrying out yours. 

At Benta we commenced our journey down the 
river the water transit appropriate in a Malay state, 
even though the Kesident's house-boat, which had been 
sent to meet us, was inclined to be too essentially 
European and comfortable. However, the Malay boat- 
men looked all that was orthodox as they tucked their 
"sarongs" up round them, and warbled a quaint 
melodious air composed of incessant triplets as they 
punted us down-stream. They sang too much in their 
throats to suit the Italian method, but the richness of 
their voices harmonised with the splashing of the water 
and the whirring flight of the wild-geese as we startled 
them from their haunts. "Didalam hati," the refrain 



PAHANG. 137 

repeated, which means " in the heart," or "in the 
liver," to be more accurate. It seemed unromantic and 
hardly polite to glide down a river through a forest and 
listen to comments on the liver almost the entire time. 
However, the Malays ascribe all their sensibilities to 
it, and are probably more justified than we are in 
blaming our poor hearts. At any rate, the number of 
love-stories shows that they have had a very fair 
share of worry from one or other organ. Like young 
Lochinvar, they may be described as " gallant in love 
and daring in war " in spite of the laziness which one 
might think antagonistic to such energetic exploits. 
That forest-covered Pahang into which we were pene- 
trating had known a long history of bloodshed and 
strife. It had been conquered by the Sultan Manser 
Shah of Malacca and at the same time remained under 
the influence of Siam, to which country it had every 
year to contribute the "bunga mas," a golden flower, 
in token of vassalage. All this time taxation over- 
burdened the people. Legal decisions depended upon 
bribery. Punishments were barbarous, and not only 
actual debtors, but also their wives, children, and 
remotest descendants could be sold into slavery. In 
1888 the murder of a Chinese-British subject, whose 
wife the Sultan coveted, led finally to the appoint- 
ment of a British Eesident and a new order of things. 
Pekan, on the sea coast, remained the royal capital; 
while the headquarters of British administration were 
moved to Kuala Lipis, in the depths of the jungle, 
where Joseph and I were now bound. 

The poles splashed rhythmically in the water, and 
the tuneful triplets were echoed by soft rustlings in 
the trees. Monkeys peered at us inquisitively through 
the branches, and brilliant kingfishers skimmed the 
river as we glided past. Kattans crowded the banks 
in places, and feathery white flowers drooped from 



138 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OP GRISELDA. 

bushes over the water's edge. Now and then we 
passed thatched houses in front of which smiling 
inhabitants squatted contentedly in the sunshine, and 
straight, stiff cocoanut-trees stalked like sentinels behind 
prosperous plantain groves. Again we left human 
habitations and listened to the chorus of the jungle 
birds. A rain-cloud burst overhead without interrupt- 
ing the sunshine. The drops sparkled like diamonds 
as they danced on the surface of the stream. The rain 
ceased. The jungle was transfigured. The greenery 
turned, like Joseph's coat, into many colours, and the 
water gleamed like a flood of molten gold. Then the 
sun vanished after that parting benediction, so like 
the unearthly smile that lights up a dying face. 

As the darkness descended we came to the end of our 
journey and scrambled up a steep bank, at the top of 
which a group of men were waiting to receive us, and 
the Kesident escorted us a few steps farther to the 
Eesidency of Pahang. 

The Kesident was quite young, and held the reputa- 
tion of being the best dressed man in the Peninsula. 
Particular by nature, he was a good deal worried by 
shortcomings in his official abode. To me it appeared 
a roomy comfortable house possessed of an upper storey, 
so I sang its praises as he showed me the way up-stairs 
to my room. But the Resident was lugubrious, and 
suggested that it would be a better plan to have the 
top floor a perfectly open space in which we could each 
pitch a little tent. I thought this a peculiar propo- 
sition, and so did not respond. 

"The walls are made of split plaited bamboo, you 
see," he continued, as though everything would now 
be clear to my mind. 

But I was not the least enlightened, and only 
remarked that they looked pretty and quaint. 

But when the men came up to change for dinner 



PAHANG. 139 

one was made aware that the lowest sigh was public 
property ; and when I went into the corridor I found 
myself favoured with a full view of every room lighted 
by candle or lamp. So, for all its showy appearance, 
the Kesidency was not much more convenient than 
an erection of palm -leaves once put up to house a 
number of people at an elephant - kraal. When the 
leaves withered everybody was reduced to dressing in 
the dark over-night. 

Whatever difficulties the Kesident had to contend 
against were not made apparent by his faultless dress- 
suit and immaculate shirt-front. Later on he confided 
that he posted his shirts to the best " dhobi " in 
Singapore. I ventured to consider this an unneces- 
sary extravagance, as the prisoners in the jail were 
employed upon laundry work. 

" I should give them a course of the best lessons in 
washing," I suggested. 

But the Kesident objected that, as they were not all 
in on a life sentence, the courses might have to be 
repeated indefinitely, so he preferred to make use of 
the post and the washing capabilities of Singapore. 
Had we not been there, had he been dining alone in 
the wilds of the jungle, he would have been just as 
particular about his attire, and would have looked 
ready dressed for some smart social function in Mayfair. 
"Manners makyth man," according to the saying, and 
clothes make manners in more cases than one. A 
hermit who will change punctiliously for dinner may 
hope to emerge, after years in lonely jungles, without 
the wildness of eye and strangeness of demeanour only 
too likely to characterise those who have once allowed 
the authority of mind over matter to be relaxed in 
sartorial details. 

Words cannot describe the bliss it was that first 
night to find a bed without mosquito-nets. There were 



140 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

actually no buzzing torments at the Eesidency except 
a few fluffy-legged ones never known to sting. I slept 
the sleep of the just, but feared that I had awakened 
in a penitentiary of sinners, judging by an ominous 
clanking of chains that broke in next morning upon 
my repose. All sorts of other noises were going on 
outside, and I saw the dense jungle which surrounded 
the Eesidency, so knew that I had not been transported 
during my slumbers, but that I was safe and sound at 
the British headquarters of Pahang. Nevertheless the 
clanking of chains continued, so I thought I had better 
get up and investigate. I peeped out cautiously on to 
the verandah, and sure enough found it occupied by a 
gang of chained men. Before I recovered from my 
astonishment a Sikh in uniform appeared behind them, 
shouldering his musket in a pompous way. Then I 
noticed that each of the men carried a chatty of water, 
and I realised that these were the useful jail-birds en- 
gaged upon filling my bath. 

I grew accustomed to having chained convicts to 
assist Ah Li in his lady's-maid's duties ; but the first 
encounter with them was a little startling, and though 
it was very early, I renounced all further temptations 
of sleep. For one thing, there was far too much to 
listen to ; though we had travelled far from ordinary 
white civilisation, we had come instead to a teeming, 
bustling metropolis of the animal world. Clear above 
the other jungle noises I heard " w-u-u-u-h, w-u-u-u-h " 
a strange, soft, cooing sound ; and noticed in a circle 
on the branches a conclave of what looked like queer 
old men, black in body, with white hair round their 
faces, long arms, and very short legs. Introduction 
was unnecessary. I knew at once that these were the 
black wa-was, or gibbon apes. They seemed tremend- 
ously busy, and looked as if they were holding a county 
council, though their accents were so dulcet as to make 



PAHANG. 141 

one imagine that they must have assembled to recite 
poetry, or to improvise verses on love. The birds were 
equally conversational. The king crows, or " slaves of 
the monkey," to give them their less dignified Malay 
title, must have been holding a meeting on the advanced 
rights of women, they argued away with so much scold- 
ing and noise ; then they evidently decided that it 
would be better to be thoroughly feminine, accom- 
plished, and attractive, for they left off chattering and 
sang the prettiest couplets to show that they were 
really in capital voice, and fluttered out their trains of 
two long tail feathers, and seemed very conscious that 
there was nothing more becoming to wear than black. 
A horrid hawk disturbed the concert. He floated by, 
mewing like a kitten, but the birds were too busy to 
give way to nervousness, and the crows began to caw 
loudly, as if ordering him to be gone. 

Before long there was a fresh interruption. Some- 
body in the jungle seemed possessed of the late Mr 
Gladstone's fancy for cutting down trees. " Chop, 
chop, chop," I heard, as though some one were hacking 
at a tree-trunk ; then " chop, chop, chop, chop, chop," 
very fast, as if creaking timber were giving way. At 
this point the woodcutter appeared overcome with 
amusement, and gave vent to such shrieks of laughter 
that I could not help joining in, regardless of the 
bamboo walls of the establishment and the fact that 
the other inmates would have full benefit of my 
hilarity. 

" What on earth are you making that row about ? " 
asked Joseph, stalking into my room in his matutinal 
Malay array. 

I told him that he had better instead inquire who 
was making the noise outside. 

Before he could answer the wood-cutting commenced 
again : first slowly, " chop, chop, chop," then very fast, 



142 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

" chop, chop, chop, chop, chop," followed once more by 
the uproarious " Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! " 

I could hardly believe Joseph when he told me that 
this noisy humorist was nothing more nor less than 
a bird, the largest of the hornbills known to the 
Malays as the " burong hambat mentuah," or the 
" tebang mentuah," which, being translated, means " he 
who chopped down his mother-in-law." One flew by at 
the moment, and Joseph pointed it out. It was a great 
dark bird, with a long tail and a red neck and a red 
square-shaped casque at the top of its bill. The Malays 
have such satisfactory, fully explanatory stories about 
everything that I was sure they could account for its 
eccentric behaviour, and I declined to let Joseph depart 
till he had told me the legend of the " tebang mentuah." 

It appeared that this hornbill was originally a man 
who was very much irritated by his mother-in-law. 
One day the old lady so tried his temper that he took 
an axe and chopped at the wooden piles that supported 
her house, and as the building came tumbling down he 
only roared with laughter instead of showing proper 
remorse. He was turned into a bird as a punishment, 
and is condemned to spend his time imitating all the 
sounds of the tragedy. Joseph went on to tell me that 
hornbills are said to build nests in the tree-trunks and 
close them in with clay, leaving enough room for the 
mother-bird to poke out her head for her meals. Her 
husband acts waiter and feeds her through the hole. 
According to the Malays, the wife unselfishly dies 
directly she has hatched her young, so that the mag- 
gots in her dead body may provide for their physical 
needs. The same forethought is also placed to the 
credit of another quite little bird, which is supposed 
to call out "tinggal anak" (good-bye, children) before 
she dies. 

All the time Joseph was making these statements 



PAHANG. 143 

a voice was reiterating " could do could do could 
do," till one's patience came to an end. 

' What is it, and what could it do ? " I asked Joseph, 
who announced it to be the jungle crow. 

" If you wait long enough you'll hear it say it could 
do with a bit," he said, shuffling off to his bath. 

I stood listening so long that I was late for breakfast, 
but never once did the jungle crow mention what it 
was it could do. 

"It never said 'with a bit/" I reproached Joseph, 
after I had shifted the whole responsibility of my un- 
punctuality upon the jungle crow. 

" It all depends how long you wait/' he said, while I 
groped in my mind for a simile sufficiently clumsy to 
compare to his attempts at a joke. 

The Eesident was always deeply interested when 
Joseph and I took to criticising each other; and as 
this happened repeatedly, he must have quite enjoyed 
our stay. I cannot have failed to have improved every 
one's Malay, for I wanted to know the name of every- 
thing, and made "How do you spell it?" my query 
from morning to night. 

"You seem to take us for perambulating diction- 
aries," Joseph grumbled. " Besides, I don't see why 
you aspire to such accuracy. You generally assert 
everything with authority, whether you know anything 
about it or not very reassuring, of course. It gives 
everybody confidence." 

" When I know that I know a thing, of course I 
know that I know that I know it ; and when I know 
that I don't know a thing, I expect you to know it, 
and so," I insisted, "riang riang how would you write 
it ? " For I kept Joseph to the point, and so am able 
to chronicle names correctly ; or if I do make mistakes, 
I can shift the blame on to him. They are as he spelt 
them, and all Josephs seem able to bear responsibility. 



144 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OP GRISELDA. 

" Riang riang," which he was writing down at the 
moment, was the name of a ridiculous insect. It spent 
the whole day in an imbecile way, making a noise like 
a rattle or some sort of infantile toy. Darwin would 
probably have explained that it was frightening away 
its enemies, enticing its mate, or using threatening 
language to rivals. More unsophisticated minds could 
not connect it with anything serious. It only sounded 
a most frivolous, babyish insect ; and as it rattled away 
it seemed to convert the jungle into a mere nursery. 
One could agree with it that temptations to idleness 
were certainly great at Kuala Lipis. I succumbed to 
them entirely the first morning which I spent in a 
fascinating room, three sides of which opened on to the 
jungle. Every tiniest breath of breeze was able to 
steal in softly, and the birds perched on branches by 
the windows and practised their exercises. How per- 
severing they were. No wonder birds sing well. One 
little creature went over the same scale hour after hour 
the whole day long. He knew it perfectly, so for the 
sake of his audience I begged him to try something 
else, or even sing the run in a different key. Not a bit 
of it ! The bird repeated the scale without the least 
attention to my suggestion, and any one who pays the 
Malay Peninsula a visit will probably still hear it 
practised over and over again. 

No human beings were to be seen from my sanctum, 
except an occasional Malay, who came floating by on 
the water, half, if not quite, asleep in his sampan. Two 
rivers meet by the Residency, the Jelai and the Lipis ; 
two out of many tributaries, that finally, all combined, 
flow under the name of the Pahang river to Pekan, and 
their outlet into the China Sea. 

That evening we explored the town. It was not a 
long operation, as we could only find two little streets, 
in both of which Chinese had already begun to trade. 



PAHANG. 145 

The police barracks were to be turned into the future 
club. The tennis - courts were made. Government 
offices and a jail were also in being; and we walked 
about planning sites for the church, the hospital, the 
race-course, and everything else that would convert 
Kuala Lipis into a compeer of Kuala Lumpor and 
Taiping. The only road was the one that led to the 
mountains, so the rivers were our chief highways, as 
the unruly behaviour of the transport elephant pre- 
vented extended expeditions along the jungle tracks. 
Joseph owned a sampan which, with its "atap" roof 
and bamboo flooring, was lighter to punt up-stream 
than the Resident's more pretentious boat ; so we made 
use of it one afternoon to pay a call at Kechau on an 
honorary Penghulu, one of the many Englishmen who 
are also foreign dignitaries. 

It was as well that he had just quitted his real Pen- 
ghulu's establishment, as a Malay house has drawbacks 
in spite of being so picturesque. When the river was 
in flood the English Penghulu had been obliged to 
occupy his one apartment for weeks at a time in com- 
pany with his cocks and hens and entire live stock. 
Now he had built himself a more Anglicised abode, 
which looked out over the river and a sandy beach to 
a gorge in the jungle opposite, where the houses of 
" Lubok Blida " (the Fish's Hole) squatted in a cluster 
on piles. 

The Malays here were gold-mining in a primitive 
way that must have met with the scorn and derision of 
Kaub. They stamped the earth and quartz, and threw 
away the mud and stones. They then placed the earth 
that was left in a flat-shaped pan, and cleverly spun 
this round and round in the river until the sand was 
washed away and the gold remained sticking to the 
bottom of the pan. It seemed such a simple, satisfac- 
tory method that I had thoughts of entering into im- 



146 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

mediate partnership, but the English Penghulu feared 
the investment could never bring in five per cent, so, 
on the whole, it did not seem sufficiently lucrative. 

After we returned from Kechau we al]owed ourselves 
to be lazy, or rather made ourselves busy doing nothing, 
after the manner of the Malays. As usual, in the jungle 
they were having a social evening. The frogs tried to 
drown all other conversation, but could not silence a 
cricket which was chirping as piteously as a deserted 
chicken, or interrupt the unsociable banquet of the 
night-jar, which kept on repeating the inevitable " tgok, 
tgok, tgok." Now and again a distinct coo-ey rang out 
shrill and clear above the other sounds. It was not a 
benighted wanderer appealing for assistance, but only 
the argus-pheasant, which believes in being heard and 
not seen. This bashfulness about showing himself is 
all the more extraordinary as critics consider him hand- 
somer than even the peacock. Possibly he is ashamed 
of his ungenerous behaviour, for, according to Malay 
legend, the argus-pheasant and the crow originally were 
equally dowdily dressed. They agreed to colour each 
other's feathers ; but after the crow had performed the 
operation very tastefully for his friend, the argus- 
pheasant declined to decorate the crow, making it his 
excuse that the Day of Judgment was so near at hand. 
In the middle of the argument an inkpot was upset over 
the crow, who flew off in black dudgeon, and has hated 
the argus-pheasant ever since. 

The coo-eys were broken in upon by a curious sound, 
like powerful barking with a distinctly hungry accent, 
and yet a roar of commanding majesty. It was a royal 
bark, for the voice was that of his highness the tiger, 
who had come to drink at the river, and was now 
intimating that it was dinner-time in a considerate 
way that should have allowed his respective joints to 
scuttle off as fast as their legs could carry them. There 



PAHANG. 147 

was something very awe-inspiring about that feline 
barking and its utter disdain for all idea of secrecy. 
Joseph grew excited. Malays had reported accounts of 
a tiger which had been doing mischief, and he knew 
they would be thankful to be rid of the animal, though 
superstitious reasons would keep them from killing him 
themselves. As usual, in their legends they honour 
the tiger with a human origin, and suppose him to have 
been a jungle waif who was rescued and sent to school 
by a benevolent Malay. His behaviour, unfortunately, 
was far from exemplary; and when the schoolmaster 
gave him a thrashing, he turned yellow with rage and 
bounced out at the door on all fours, with the scars of 
his chastisement marked round him in black stripes. 1 

While the Kesident was telling me this history 
Joseph was resolving upon a night up a tree, with a 
seductive buffalo calf tied as a bait to the trunk. Only 
scruples about the calf's enjoyment, and personal fears 
of mosquitoes, prevented my joining him. He was 
duly grateful for my absence ; and, as it happened, the 
tiger did not reappear until dinner-time the next even- 
ing, when his presence was notified to Joseph, who went 
out and shot him between the soup and the fish. 

He was a fine, full-grown animal, and though not a 
man-eater, had yet trespassed upon human habitations 
and made a nuisance of himself. So the Malays were 
delighted, and slung him to a pole, and carried him in 
triumph with his mouth strained open as if he were 
going to roar. How were the mighty fallen ! He was 
now destined to be a door-mat, and tripping up in- 
truders would form the extent of the prowess that could 
be achieved by his handsome skin. 

Still, he ought to have known discretion, and tigers 
are plentiful in Malaya, though you might roam for 
days and days in the jungle and never see or hear a 

1 For Malay legends and customs see ' Malay Magic,' by W. Skeat. 



148 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

sign of one. Most of the jungle population, including 
the wild Sakais, take to their heels and vanish at the 
approach of civilised man. At mid-day, in the grim 
silence, or at midnight, with its babble of voices, the 
spell of magic secrecy pervades the forest lands. They 
are full of tragedy and comedy, of stress of life and 
greedy opulence, but the passing stranger can probe no 
deeper into their mystery than into the throbbing, 
aching heart of western city worlds. 

"Are you never lonely?" the Resident sometimes 
asked sympathetically. 

"Lonely? Would it be possible in a vortex of 
society the Vienna or Paris of birds and animals ? " 

The Resident gave a sigh as his only answer. In his 
kind eyes was the sadness of a man who, in spite of 
immaculate clothing and punctiliousness in all good 
habits, had lived too long cut off from his fellows in 
lonely jungles, where human society was entirely brown 
skinned. 



149 



CHAPTER XIII. 

PAHANG. 

KUALA LIPIS society at that time was quite imposing. 
There were half a dozen Government officers at the 
official headquarters of Pahang. They included two 
new cadets, who did not know whether to be more 
pleased with their fresh authority or with the possi- 
bilities of shooting which it had opened up for them. 
They extracted a promise that I would go with them 
on one of their expeditions, and I accordingly gave 
Ah Li strict injunctions to call me that morning 
punctually at five o'clock. But Joseph was always 
suspicious of any outings which he did not organise. 
He was callous as to the risks that befell me, pro- 
vided only that he was there as chaperon. He had 
started me off on a journey to nowhere and left me 
to plod along in a broken-down gharri. He had sub- 
jected me to perils by water and to hazards on land 
quite accidentally of course. But he pooh-poohed all 
dangers for which he was responsible, and only began 
to croak and make gloomy prognostications, and fore- 
see all sorts of impossible misadventures when I took 
part in any expeditions which were in no way con- 
nected with him. The moment snipe - shooting was 
suggested Joseph immediately cautioned Ah Li on no 
account to call me before seven. 
Poor Ah Li was much harassed by these contrary 



150 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

directions, but hoped to strike the happy medium and 
satisfy both parties by a compromise. He called me 
at six, and in consequence drew down the vials of our 
respective wrath upon his attenuated pig-tail. 

Of course I was most unpunctual for my appoint- 
ment, but one cadet was still patiently waiting. The 
other had started in search of the snipe. 

We were taken across the river in a tiny sampan, 
manned by two infantile Malay boys, who never left 
off staring at us with their great, startled eyes. On 
the opposite bank a man was busy fishing, and gra- 
ciously disturbed what might have been a fine haul to 
satisfy our curiosity, and perhaps to show off his own 
skill. He cast his net with great dexterity and ap- 
parently with famous result. It took our combined 
forces, together with the elf -like assistance of the 
children, to haul the net up again. A fine log of wood 
was all that was enveloped in the meshes, and the poor 
fisherman's discomfiture was immense. Malays, like 
Sakais, did not seem fortunate at sport when I was 
an onlooker, so I suggested a forward movement after 
the snipe. 

Before long we met the other cadet, proudly laden 
with trophies in the shape of fat birds, which almost 
owed it to us to be in good condition considering the 
trials of our morning's exercise. A snipe marsh was 
certainly one of the most tiring places ever invented 
for a constitutional. Wherever the ground looked 
trustworthy and secure was exactly the very spot 
where one sank lower and lower, until it seemed doubt- 
ful whether one would ever come up again. Wher- 
ever the ground looked treacherous and insecure it 
absolutely fulfilled all the conditions of its appearance. 
One was in the position of a person thrown into the 
society of people who are either covertly objectionable 
or else openly rude. Overhead, meantime, the sun 



PAHANG. 151 

blazed in pitiless fury ; thanks to Joseph's indiscreet 
order, I felt sunstroke was likely to be my doom. The 
cadets were so exhausted by pulling me out of the 
mire, and by sinking into it themselves at every spare 
interval, that the contents of the bag did not increase 
phenomenally. So, when we came to a lovely glade 
in the jungle that invited us to rest and refreshment, 
we decided to leave the snipe to enjoy the sun-scorched 
banks in peace. We found stalwart logs to sit on, and 
a fallen tree to do deputy for a table ; while on a sampan 
in the river, a Chinese cook, who had come to meet 
us, prepared a breakfast sufficiently sumptuous to offer 
a king had a stray one chanced to appear. A stone, 
balanced on smouldering embers, served as kitchen, 
stove, and utensils ; and on this primitive oven, even 
buffalo meat our only joint at Kuala Lipis acquired 
a dainty delicacy instead of its usual flavour of hashed 
boots and shoes. We used leaves for plates and 
straight twigs as chop -sticks, and found the only 
drawback to the meal the length of time it took to 
serve the courses, as the Malay attendants seemed in- 
capable of carrying more than a single commodity, and 
even the salt-spoon and salt-cellar each required a 
special expedition to itself. However, we remembered 
Mr Kipling's admonition and refrained from bustling 
the East. 

Patience was made easier by the number of topics 
upon which the cadets needed enlightenment, that I, 
as the only white woman in those jungles, could alone 
supply. Among other things, they wished for in- 
struction upon the art of proposing, not having 
reached years which could appreciate as well as de- 
plore single blessedness, and be aware that a special 
accompanist is not an absolute necessity to a credit- 
able rendering of the Psalm of Life. 

" I could never write, and I could never speak a 



152 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

proposal," said one cadet. " I'd have to wire it, that 
would be my only chance." 

"Have to do without the wire here in Pahang," 
said the other. " I say, do you know the Kesident 
wants to start wireless telegraphy to Pekan ? Ordinary 
sort wouldn't do. Couldn't stick up poles through the 
jungle. Wireless is just the thing. Isn't Pahang going 
the pace ? " 

I quite agreed, remembering the Kesident's idea of 
a motor-car service over the mountain-range. Wire- 
less telegraphy and motor 'buses seemed suitably pro- 
gressive for a country which at that time had only 
been dragged out of Oriental feudal stagnation for 
some dozen years. But I did not anticipate being able, 
in Kuala Lipis, to furnish the cadets with up-to-date 
instruction upon the topic of proposals that continued 
to harass their minds and tongues until we got back 
to the Eesidency and offended Joseph's sensibilities 
by our costumes, which seemed principally composed 
of tawny slime. The cadets were a little depressed at 
having severe criticisms passed upon what they con- 
sidered a highly successful undertaking, but presented 
the Kesident with the snipe by way of pacification, and 
were invited by him to tea that afternoon. 

The post only found its way to Kuala Lipis two 
or three times a-week. It arrived that day the same 
time as the cadets, and all were ushered in together 
with the tea. There was a letter for me, and also a 
large wooden box. I wondered what could be inside, 
and Ah Li, the practical, determined to find out at 
once. He opened it, unasked, while I opened the 
letter a very short one, from a man whom I vaguely 
remembered to have met once. It explained that he 
was not fluent with his pen, and that therefore the 
phonograph which he had taken the liberty of sending 
me would divulge all that he wished to say. 



PAHANG. 153 

I was greatly surprised, but not more so than the 
others, when Ah Li produced the phonograph. I did 
not understand its mechanism, so naturally I invited 
Joseph and the Kesident and the cadets to put it in 
working trim. 

" What on earth has it come here for ? " asked 
Joseph. 

I could truthfully say I had no idea. 

" It ought to have a speaking-trumpet stuck in or 
we shan't all be able to hear it," said the cadets. 
"How stupid! They don't seem to have sent one." 

Suspecting nothing, I let them improvise a horn. 
They stuck it in after a good deal of fumbling, and 
the phonograph suddenly blurted out in rasping accents, 
" Dare I tell you of my feelings ? May I lay bare my 
heart? Can you have suspected the truth?" 

These interrogations were startling and incompre- 
hensible. The cadets guffawed. The Resident grew 
animated. Joseph began to pace up and down the 
room. An unaccountable need of exercise overtakes 
him in all emergencies. " Do sit down," I entreated ; 
while the phonograph continued " That day when you 

came to ," but here something went wrong with the 

mechanism. It omitted a series of groans, and no actual 
words could be understood. The cadets, who were 
straining their ears with eager attention, readjusted 
different parts, and the phonograph again delivered 
its message, several sentences having been skipped. 

" in your eyes," it continued, which did not convey 

much news. " Dare I hope ? " Again it paused, not 
on account of its internal workings, but presumably 
on account of those of the speaker, who was either 
overcome by emotion or else at a loss for words. 

"Will you be ," it recommenced. Another pause, 

in which I collected my scattered wits. I knew in- 
stinctively the two words that were to follow. I could 



154 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

not allow a heart and hand to be offered to me in public 
in this brazen way. Nature and upbringing intended 
me to be strictly truthful, but I felt a little prevarica- 
tion was allowable in such an unprecedented case. 

" I know I'll explain I understand," I said inco- 
herently. 

"Hush sh," exclaimed the cadets, who grudged 
missing a single word. 

" I said I'd criticise something a man is writing. 
He thought it would be more effective spoken through 
the phonograph." I grew bolder as the explanation 
sounded quite satisfactory. "He doesn't want other 
people to hear it yet though. Ah Li, take it up-stairs." 

Ah Li inferred that by "it" the phonograph was 
intended. He looked at Joseph for contrary directions. 
Joseph's face was a blank. Ah Li gazed a moment at 
the talking-box and then retired to the back premises. 
He would have nothing to do with such a monstrosity 
that was clear. The cadets and the Kesident 
would have given me every assistance, but they 
were the general public, whom delicacy excluded at 
such a time. 

" Joseph, help me ! " I commanded. But Joseph's 
face remained impassive, while his legs betrayed his 
agitation by the increasing length of their strides. 

" He he really doesn't want his publications 
published," I entreated; and by a mighty effort I 
dragged the phonograph out on to the verandah just 
as it was stridently inviting me to be its wife. 

Several Malays were waiting in the garden. They 
paid the Kesident daily visits in the hope that he might 
settle a family dispute. They invariably rejected his 
advice, and continued their diurnal attendance. They 
stared first at me, thinking my voice was very peculiar. 
Then they stared at the phonograph. "Take time. 
Think everything well over before you come to any 



PAHANG. 155 

decision," so I was being advised in metallic nasal 
tones. 

"The box is talking !" A lady Malay shrieked the 
discovery. Its effect was instantaneous. There were 
loud invocations to Allah and all the Jins (spirits) 
that inhabit the earth and air. Then, one after another, 
the Malays retired, not precipitately, for they were a 
martial people, but still there was a good deal of steady 
determination in the way in which they beat a retreat. 
Never again was the Besident called upon to settle 
that particular family difference. It received its final 
verdict from the mouth of the speaking-box. 

" I say, we do want to come and listen," the cadets 
were calling from the drawing-room, while the phono- 
graph croaked itself hoarse over fulsome compliments. 
The cadets and the Kesident would wait no longer. 
They came just as " yet the same sun shines on us 
both" was being jerked out by the phonograph. I had 
a belated inspiration, I tore off the horn and placed 
the rubber-tubes to my ears. " Oh ! I say ! " roared 
the disappointed cadets. They lost next to nothing. 
The phonograph had come to the end of its exertions. 
" I shall know no rest till I get your answer," it mur- 
mured confidentially, then it sighed and groaned and 
spluttered, and was still. 

Now that the strain of concealment was over I 
appreciated the situation to such a painful w degree that 
I was compelled to be completely taken up with the 
investigation of the instrument while the others made 
remarks. 

"Jolly fine way to transport recitations," said one 
cadet. 

" I tell you what," said the other, " it's a tip for 
you, old chap. What you were talking about, you 
know," and through the back of my head I felt them 
stare at me suspiciously, wondering whether a pro- 



156 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GEISELDA. 

posal by phonograph were already a really accomplished 
fact. 

I continued my close scrutiny of the mechanism till 
all had left for the tennis-courts except Joseph, to whom 
I then handed the written introduction I had received. 
He there and then echoed the hilarious sounds I was 
uttering, till Ah Li, peeping round the corner of the 
verandah, must have decided that the talking-box had 
driven us both stark, staring mad. It seemed a cruel 
destiny that brought a phonograph on such a delicate 
mission to a house with bamboo walls. But I concealed 
this fatality in a carefully - worded note which ex- 
plained the necessity for the return of the phonograph, 
together with its escort of hopes. It was not until it 
and they had departed from us for ever that a horrible 
suspicion seized us that the mechanism might have 
been so arranged as to record my verbal reply. In 
this case the sender would have the benefit of Joseph's 
and my hilarity, to say nothing of the interest of the 
cadets, which might seem excessively out of place. 
However, originators must run the risks of innovation, 
and somebody or other should profit by every novel 
idea. This one had, at any rate, provided entertainment 
for a tea-party, and that surely was an achievement in 
itself. But what was more interesting was the fact 
that motor-cars, schemes for wireless telegraphy, and 
a proposal by phonograph, were realities in a country 
where, until recently, people had been tortured to 
extort confessions, lunatics caged like wild animals, 
and where men still tickled fish to catch them on 
that east coast where the north-east monsoon was now 
beating on the shores of Kelantan, Trengganu, and 
Patani native states still under Siamese protection, 
and contributing their annual offering of a golden 
flower to Bangkok. Not many years ago Malay 
warriors had come down those rivers by the Residency 



PAHANG. 157 

on rebellion and bloodshed intent, and sometimes 
ended their days in those jungles the most miserable 
of hunted fugitives. The names of Wan Bong of the 
chiefs of the Jelai, the Orang Kaya, To* Gajah, and 
other local celebrities became familiar to me as the 
half-dozen Government officers sat round the table 
after dinner and smoked and talked with masculine 
solemnity, each delivering himself in turn of his 
anecdote and requiring attention, instead of, like 
women, all talking together and no one expecting to 
be heard. 

Sometimes a mining prospector or a hermit of some 
sort would find his way to Kuala Lipis and put up at 
the Kesidency for the night. "The poor chap won't 
have seen a white woman for goodness knows how 
long. He'll probably be frightened out of his wits 
and never open his mouth." So the Eesident used 
considerately to warn me, but I never knew his prog- 
nostication come true. For one thing I had so many 
of what Joseph called "those confounded questions," 
and the moment a hermit finds his tongue he takes 
good care not to lose it again. Besides, the travellers 
often wanted feminine advice on a variety of subjects. 
One hermit, for example, confessed that he was furnish- 
ing a house in the jungle for the reception of a bride 
who, he acknowledged, still remained to be met, but 
some day, somewhere, she would appear to him, so 
he hoped. Meantime he made preparations gradually, 
and in imagination already enjoyed her society. I 
advised him, instead of troubling about cushions and 
curtains, to remain satisfied with the dream-lady, as 
he would then never need to be bored by always the 
same face opposite, since he could vary it from blonde 
to brunette as he chose. But it takes much to satisfy 
even a hermit. This one had the strange taste to be 
tired of the mere vision on account of her inability 



158 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

to quarrel with him. "You see," he said mournfully, 
"disagreements do vary the tedium of life." 

While the others were smoking the Kesident would 
often steal away to the piano. When destiny banished 
him to jungles he gave himself music lessons and now 
played charmingly. By special request his repertoire 
always included a Malay air, with its quaint, rippling 
triplets, and then the child's song the lament on 
the death of the linnet, the bereaved bird's pathetic 
plaint 

" Found in the garden dead in his beauty. 

Oh ! that a linnet should die in the spring ! 
Bury him, comrades, in pitiful duty, 
Muffle the dinner-bell, solemnly ring." 

Then the Eesident would jump up from the music-stool 
and exclaim, " Only one year more and then then 
England ! " 

" Why don't you go now ? Leave is due to you ; 
you need it." 

But the Eesident shook his head. " Can't go this 
year. Must get things here ship-shape." 

He never mentioned the little word of four letters 
that has done so much in the building of Empire, 
but I knew it was " duty " that kept him that one 
fatal year longer which cut him off, like the linnet, 
in the spring of his career. But then, unconscious of 
death close before him, he used to wander out on to 
the verandah and congratulate the birds upon practis- 
ing their scales and exercises so carefully, for it would 
be a long time before they could trill and carol 
and warble like the nightingales, the blackbirds, the 
thrushes, the robin-redbreasts at home. 

How far away we felt in the jungle ! The outside 
world was half forgotten. The haze gleamed white 
in the glare of noonday over unending vistas of trees. 
Far beyond the haunts of the Sakais there might still 



PAHANG. 159 

be some timid Semangs, Negrito survivors of the first 
human race that ever inhabited the land. They are 
said to know the arts of monkeys and to be able to 
swing themselves from tree to tree. But their accom- 
plishments are those of their progenitors. They seem 
to have acquired none of their own, and are dwindling 
fast, like all who depend upon ancestors, instead of 
doing something to give their descendants just reason 
for pride. And farther still, beyond the mountains, 
whispered legends told of pale-faced Amazons who 
allow no man among them, but are married to the 
evening breeze. 

When it grew too dark for tennis we took drives 
to exercise Bushranger down the one and only road. 
The evening star trailed a train of golden glory over 
the river, which peeped at us through the interlaced 
branches of trees that flung sombre shadows across the 
road. Sometimes there were pattering footsteps be- 
hind us, and a Chinese followed in close pursuit for 
fear of highway robbers, or perhaps because he had 
been frightened by Malay stories of vampires that eat 
round holes in corpses and then fill them with 
plantain leaves. The offensive language of the jungle- 
cats was enough to bring any one to the conclusion 
that all the powers of darkness had broken loose. 
When the time came for the Chinese New Year, great 
bonfires blazed in its honour and illuminated the road. 
The Chinese, moving behind triumphal archways of 
coloured paper, were stained blood-red in the firelight, 
while the flames shot upwards exultantly as if they 
wanted to pierce the purple clouds that rested over 
the jungle and mingled with the evening lightning 
which shimmered low in the sky. 

The holiday-making was general, as the Malays cele- 
brated their " Hari Eaia " (great day), which comes at 
the close of Kamadan, the Mohammedan month of 



160 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

fasting, at the same time that year as the Chinese 
commenced their new round of moons. The Chinese 
New Year is a specially important festival, because 
all debts have to be settled then or else left to 
stand over for another year; in consequence, other 
people's property has special attractions for the im- 
pecunious towards the approach of New Year's day. 
Presents are also expected to assist pecuniary diffi- 
culties ; but as I was not aware of this, poor Ah Li 
went about looking the most abject picture of woe. 
Had he been asked to decide upon the region of the 
affections, instead of suggesting the heart or the liver, 
he would have indicated his pocket no doubt. 

There was one very angry Chinese in Kuala Lipis 
who paused in the middle of New Year feasting to 
come and pour out his grievance at the Kesidency. 
His brother had died, and he had left his remains 
in a kerosene tin under his bed in his hut in the 
jungle until he could accomplish their removal to his 
native land. But a miserable tragedy had happened. 
A foolish Tamil had come along, and, thinking it a 
pity to find a useful tin full of what he considered 
mere rubbish, he had emptied the remains into the 
jungle and carried the tin away. As the Eesident 
could hardly be expected to search for the lost 
property, he did not see how he could be of much 
assistance, and his attention was required for affairs 
nearer home, as a Sikh had just thrown his child's 
dead body into the river by the Eesidency. While 
local matters were so olfactorily pressing, there would 
have been growing danger of our jungle community 
monopolising all our senses had it not been for those 
posts which penetrated two or three times a-week to 
Kuala Lipis and were bringing us terrible news. 



161 



CHAPTER XIV. 

FROM PAHANG VIA SINGAPORE AND PENANG TO CEYLON. 

JUST before the birth of this twentieth century there 
was, as every one too well remembers, a miserable, 
anxious period in which mother England and all her 
dependencies put on sackcloth and ashes for the sons 
who were giving up their lives for the Empire's sake. 
We in our jungle community also waited and watched 
for the telegrams and pathetic war news which could 
only reach us every few days. The offer of a Straits' 
contingent was not accepted, but rifle corps were started 
all over the Peninsula, even the jungle grew dangerous 
from promiscuous practising. Joseph and the cadets 
scouted through Kuala Lipis, and the Sikhs held shoot- 
ing competitions at which I presented the prizes and 
murmured " Bahut achcha " (very good) at that time 
my one and only Hindustani compliment to the tall 
warriors who would be fine specimens of manhood if 
only a little less thin in the leg. 

Joseph had to renounce the distant for the present 
and invariably less inviting duty and make a tour 
through his jungle-covered district. Just at the same 
time the Resident had to go to Kuala Lumpor, and I 
had to start for India on my visit to Benjamin and 
Anemone. So once again bullock-carts were sent ahead 
of us and journeying recommenced. The more interest- 
ing route would have been by river to Pekan, and from 

L 



162 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

there by sea to Singapore, but as the north - east 
monsoon was inclined to be obstreperous we travelled 
back by the same way that we came, Joseph escorting 
me as far as the mountain-range. We set out in his 
sampan, but the boatmen did not indulge in much 
singing ; they had to be economical with their breath. 
It took them almost all day to punt us up-stream to 
Benta, and a crouching attitude under the " atap " 
roof grew painfully monotonous, especially when the 
cook converted his stone into an oven and gave us 
the benefit of clouds of smoke in our eyes. It was a 
relief to meet Bushranger and the trap at Benta, and 
a still greater relief to find ourselves at last safe at 
Eaub. 

Next day we climbed the mountains, and I waved 
good-bye to the blue and grey and purple tints that 
stretched into the dreamy distance of forest - clad 
Pahang. In contrast to these aesthetic shades the 
jungle through which we passed was gorgeous in 
new spring fashions. Instead of taking to finery in 
old age, those tropical leaves wore a blaze of colour in 
their earliest infancy. Everywhere the more sombre 
foliage of the forest was lightened by brilliant tones 
of pink, yellow, red, and even gay vermilion. 
Streamers of creepers tumbled pell-mell from the 
trees, and gaudy butterflies danced pas seuls in 
the sunshine. Mouse-deer mothers-in-law flew out by 
the score and took it in turn to hop in front of 
Bushranger, who snorted at them in great indignation. 

At the decrepit rest-house we waylaid the postal 
bullock-cart, and the news which it brought me was 
decidedly disconcerting. Benjamin had been suddenly 
ordered to England, so my visit to India could not 
take place, and my plans had to be altered entirely. 
This was embarrassing, owing to my family circle at 
home including a grandmother born in the reign of 



PAHANG TO CEYLON VIA SINGAPORE AND PENANG. 163 

George III. and possessed of a rooted objection to 
innovations like cables and unexpected arrivals. On 
her account I should have to wait somewhere while 
I sent a written announcement of my home-coming, 
unless I could travel by a sailing-ship so as to prolong 
the journey. This idea horrified Joseph, who was 
most anxious to arrange plans for me, and seemed 
hurt in his feelings because I insisted upon their 
shaping themselves. With human contrariness one 
objects to people's solicitude until it fails one, when 
one feels equally aggrieved and ill-used by its loss. 
Joseph and I would have been doomed to spend the 
night arguing over arrangements had not the Eesident 
grown sleepy and suggested that a good rest might 
bring about a solution of some sort. Next morning 
we had to start early, and as Joseph could not come 
any farther the Eesident and I left him behind on the 
hill -top, the picture of desolation, all on account of 
my immediate future, which was chaotic as far as he 
could foresee. 

There is no need to dwell on the journey, which was 
commenced by the gharri pony falling flat on his nose. 
I stopped to pay visits at Kuala Kubu and Kuala 
Lumpor, and wrote and assured Joseph that sailing- 
vessels were impracticable, as they only had out-of-the- 
way routes by Australia and San Francisco, and declined 
to pick up passengers and take them direct to England 
from Singapore. In my own mind I determined to fall 
back upon cousins, who, on the whole, are satisfactory 
relations, as they are sufficiently connected to be useful 
and sufficiently disconnected to have no claims to 
authority, though they sometimes usurp them, it is 
true. Unknown cousins had already helped me round 
the planet, and I had promised to pay a visit to some 
known cousins in Ceylon. They did not expect me 
until after I left India. Whether they could have me 



164 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

now was another matter. I decided to go and find out, 
and, meantime, to break my journey with friends at 
Singapore. 

The voyage there was chiefly occupied in gaining 
hints on Chinese hair-dressing, as a rich Towkay was 
on board with a very smart wife. She turned the 
saloon into a hair - dressing establishment, and sat 
down in my place at table, while an attendant rubbed 
her head with greased sticks till it shone as brightly 
as new patent leather. The lady rolled cigarettes 
all the time, and smoked and showed off like a regular 
"smart set" woman, which very likely was just what 
she considered herself. 

Once more we steamed past the lovely islands to the 
green sampan-dotted waters of Singapore harbour, where 
a strange looking flat-bottomed craft came snorting up 
beside us, and we wondered why a military man on 
board her was holding such a long conversation through 
a megaphone. Suddenly the captain of our steamer de- 
scended from the bridge, and announced, " I think you 
are being addressed," whereupon I realised that " Are 
you there, Miss Griselda March ? " was the question 
that was being shouted aloud. I was getting accus- 
tomed to unexpected appearances of hosts, and soon 
understood that my latest a Eoyal Engineer officer- 
had come to take me on board the submarine mining 
launch. The vessel was useful, if not ornamental, and 
took my host's sister and me to Singapore whenever 
we wanted to go shopping or to pay calls. My host 
spent most of his time in her, prowling about among 
the defences of that most important naval base. He 
would have liked to play the part of detective had he 
not considered it useless, owing to the communicative 
character of the Government. " We're supposed to be 
reserved, as individuals," he grumbled. "Well! we 
certainly make up for it as a community. We seem to 



PAHANG TO CEYLON VIA SINGAPORE AND PENANG. 165 

think it our first duty to take our enemies into 
our confidence. Actually, would you believe it? 
they caught a naval chap, an officer off a Kussian gun- 
boat, caught him red-handed, trespassing all over the 
fortifications. He said he was looking for butterflies. 
Would you believe it ? they let him off in fact, they 
apologised to him profusely," and so on, adding 
anecdote after anecdote, to show how all efforts were 
taken to avoid Imperial secretiveness. 

Instead of a picturesque sailing-ship, I left Singapore 
on an ordinary P. and 0. liner, but we were treated 
to a small excitement, to give some zest to the start. 
Half an hour before the departure - bell sounded a 
Chinese was hurried on board under the protection of 
the police. A shiver passed through the passengers. 
They realised the Orient at that moment, for the 
information was whispered that this was Kang Yu 
Wei, the celebrated Chinese reformer and author, 
Kang Yu Wei, with a price on his head, and forty 
Chinese deputed by his sovereign lady to carry him, 
dead or alive, to China. Interest grew intense at this 
romantic news. Every Celestial on deck, we decided, 
must be either Kang or else one of Kang's intend- 
ing murderers. But at Penang all the Chinese 
passengers left the vessel. It then transpired that 
Kang's embarkation had been a mere blind. He had 
changed into a disguise, and at the last moment had 
slipped away to Blakang Mati, the artillery island. 
Enthusiasm was damped. Quite a dejected party set 
out to see the sights of Penang, and these eventually 
evolved themselves into nothing more nor less than a 
funeral. The widow of a Chinese millionaire had just 
died, and as no dollars had been spared to give her 
body an elaborate burial, the whole of Penang was 
obstructed by her funeral cortege. 

The head of the procession a gigantic paper figure, 



166 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

no less than fifteen feet high quite terrified some of 
the passengers, for it was none other than Satan casting 
out Satan, according to the Chinese, who insist upon 
the attendance of " Khye Lor Sin," 1 the king of the 
devils, at funerals, so that he may overawe other 
demons and keep them from troubling the spirits of 
the deceased. In this case his Satanic majesty looked 
thoroughly equal to his mission as he loomed into 
view, armed with a spear and shield, and attended by 
youths with painted faces representing demons of a 
lesser sort. Then followed a long procession of men 
carrying banners, on which were blazoned inscriptions 
that were complimentary, no doubt. Behind came the 
bandsmen, banging and clashing and clattering gongs, 
cymbals, and clarionets. Other men carried decorated 
sedan - chairs and tables covered with slaughtered 
animals and other choice fare for the dead ; while the 
gharri ponies, happily freed from the gharris, made 
themselves useful carrying small Chinese children, 
decked out in vivid red and green garments and all 
their showiest finery. At last came the coffin, sup- 
ported by means of cross sticks on the shoulders of over 
a hundred bearers, and surmounted by an enormous 
gilt and scarlet two-storied canopy, that collided every 
few minutes with the telegraph-wires overhead. The 
figure of a stork kept guard on top of it, and wreaths of 
flowers were hung round the sides. Behind it followed 
a fantastic car, drawn by a pony, and containing priests 
chanting prayers for the repose of the soul. The 
principal male mourners, arrayed in sackcloth, walked 
beside the coffin, with lowered heads ; while the more 
distant relations and men friends followed, and the 
women mourners brought up the rear. Some friends 
of Joseph's were invited to the cemetery, where re- 
freshments were served under canvas, and the mourners 

1 Literally, Clear Way Spirit. 



PAHANG TO CEYLON VIA SINGAPORE AND PENANG. 167 

displayed cosmopolitan millionaire tendencies, and were 
lavish with bad champagne. 

As a proper climax to a funeral, extreme melancholia 
overtook me when we reached the Indian Ocean and 
the boisterous excited waves. With the exception of 
my Singapore friends no one knew precisely what had 
become of me. The condition of the elements and the 
closing of the port-hole led to a state of misery un- 
attainable except on equatorial seas. Yet, for some 
unknown reason, I chose that occasion to wash my hair 
and write fragmentary verses in the intervals of getting 
it dry. 

Farewell ! Malayan jungles ! 
Your mangrove-covered shore 

I'm leaving far behind me, 
Farewell for evermore ! 

Beneath a sampan's kajang 1 

I'll never float again, 
And hear the jungle choir, 

Low wind or patt'ring rain. 

The wa-was' plaintive chorus 

I'll hear again no more, 
NOT buzz of insect gossip, 

Wild wit and jungle lore. 

The birds will tell love-stories 

In other forest shades, 
But gentle, soft-voiced gibbons, 

Live in Malayan glades. 

So, in this sad leave-taking, 

Above all I deplore 
The hopelessness of hearing 

The wa-was any more ! 

Such a sad effusion is the best evidence of the sea- 
stricken condition of my feelings, and the wa-was for 
whom I was mourning, if they had heard it, would have 
squirmed on the branches and crooned " W-u-u-u-u-u-h," 

1 Thatched roof. 



168 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

in shame at such a lament. But as my hair dried my 
spirits recovered, and I went up on deck to take stock 
of the new and yet most familiar surroundings, for 
passengers on board ship seem always reduced to types, 
and are as recognisable on every boat as all other 
cognisant parts of a steamer. 

There were several officers bound for the war in 
South Africa, all of them with features drilled into 
orthodox martial similitude. There was a forlorn little 
old man, who crawled about the deck like a fly escaped 
from a beer-jug, and whose solitary item of information 
consisted of the announcement, " I've lived over forty 
years in the Straits Settlements over forty years ! " 
He looked upon himself as an advertisement, and had 
not the faintest notion that everybody else regarded 
him as a horrible warning, so much so that I felt com- 
pelled to champion all matters Malayan, with the result 
that I was soon considered an indisputable authority 
upon the Malay Archipelago. An American Civil War 
hero who, being forced to give up fighting, had taken 
to poetising, followed me about with a note-book, and 
the trustful confidence of a tourist ready to imbibe 
any and every scrap of information for dissemination 
among the untravelled at home. 

The tranquillity of the vessel was constantly dis- 
turbed by sudden inroads from rabbits and mice, which 
came scrambling over the deck in a thoroughly land- 
lubberish way. The captain declined to be held re- 
sponsible for the pressgang which had so unnecessarily 
converted these unfortunates into terrified mariners. 

"If passengers buy tickets for animals who's to pre- 
vent their bringing them on board ? " he demanded. 

The P. and 0. Company have, as a matter of fact 
but that has happened since. 

The captain's query was immediately followed by 
endless inquiries as to which passenger had such a 



PAHANG TO CEYLON VIA SINGAPORE AND PENAN G. 169 

passion for natural history as to travel with a convoy 
of rabbits and mice. The individual was stated to be a 
Eussian, located in the second class, and we were in- 
formed that his fellow- voyagers also included quite a 
hundred birds, or rather had done so when he came on 
board, but the number was diminishing, as he flung 
them out by handfuls every day to a freedom that 
culminated in a salt-water grave. 

I headed a linguistic deputation to the second saloon 
to expostulate in French, German, Italian, and Malay, 
but the Eussian remained deaf to all protests that were 
not uttered in his mother-tongue. He seemed to prac- 
tise originality, judging by his costume, which was 
composed half of brown velvet and half of yellow 
khaki, with sea -boots to complete it when we first 
beheld him ; but he removed these, and received us 
in pink stockings and beaded shoes. He had the 
face of a mystic, with a cream-coloured complexion, 
soft brown hair brushed high above his forehead, and 
blue eyes like a little child's. " Finis Seelen libre 
frei," was the only intelligible information we could 
extract from him, though he flung out his arms and 
began a rapid discourse in his native language, evidently 
a dissertation on the freeing of spirits, though his 
Buddhism seemed topsy - turvy, involving as it did 
destruction of bodily life. However, our persuasions 
were so far successful that no more birds were loosed 
to destruction, and the rabbits and mice had their 
meals in their cages, instead of themselves being 
turned into joints for the benefit of the ship's cat. 

That voyage I again discovered loneliness to be the 
one condition impossible when travelling alone. So, 
at least, it seemed when a cheery-looking widow offered 
me the solace of her society just the same moment that 
the captain insisted upon lending me his personal, 
particular chair, which had " Commander " stamped 



170 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

in large letters across it ; and the chief officer called 
up a dozen Lascars to readjust the awning to keep 
the glare off my eyes ; and the fourth officer begged to 
be allowed to fetch up items of baggage from the hold 
at irregular hours, which was heroic of him, considering 
our proximity to the equator ; and the army officers 
came up alternately to offer lime-squashes and orange- 
ade ; and the American ex-general hastily dotted down 
my observations in his note-book ; and the official from 
Singapore informed me for the fortieth time that he 
had " lived over forty years in the Straits Settlements 
over forty years/' That is the degree of solitude 
to which a young woman is reduced when she travels 
alone ; and the only safeguard for such voyaging is a 
sheer impossibility of ever believing in danger of any 
sort, for according to your expectations so shall your 
realisations be, or, if they should not, then you can 
fancy that they are, which comes to much the same 
in the end. A lively but well-disciplined imagination 
can be a great factor of success. In any case, in 
globular tours the most enviable rdle is that of a young 
woman of whom nothing is expected, except that she 
should be at perfect liberty to expect everything of 
everybody else. I found I could always provide em- 
ployment for a whole steamer -load of people in the 
matter of giving me help. But there were occasions 
when I did much better without it. Business transac- 
tions, for instance, were infinitely more satisfactory 
when I undertook them by myself. I hope I did not 
presume upon being a woman, for that is said to be a 
heinous offence, though, after all, men enjoy endless 
privileges, simply on account of being masculine, and 
no one accuses them of presuming upon being men. 
At any rate, it was allowable to presume upon past 
knowledge and experience when we came to Ceylon, for 
this was the corner of the globe from which my earthly 



PAHANG TO CEYLON VIA SINGAPORE AND PENANG. 17 1 

pilgrimage had its starting-point, and in which the first 
decade of my existence had been spent. The long fringe 
of cocoa-nut trees and the shadowy hills in the blue 
distance were as familiar as the catamarans dipping 
their noses in the water, and the long-haired brown 
specimens of humanity that came scrambling all over 
the decks. The usual harbour babel commenced. 
"Very fine ruby, sah 500 rupees, sah. Can show 
good sapphire. Green sapphires, plenty got all 
fashion now. Ladee, please to buy. Moonstone 
brooch wanting? This silver hair-pin. Singhalese 
women all wearing in hair. Ladee, looking here, please. 
Ivory elephant, ivory card -case. Have got ebony 
elephant. Kalutara baskets wanting? Me good man, 
asking right prices. Ladee, please to buy." 

A number of passengers were encumbering them- 
selves with bits of coloured glass at fancy prices, and 
congratulating themselves that bargains had been 
achieved. 

"Ladee, please to buy. Looking here, big sapphire, 
pink sapphire, green sapphire, cat's eye, all got. Ladee, 
please to buy," and brown fingers flourished their 
wares. 

" Go away ; I'm not a passenger," I said with the 
scorn that I remembered to have heard applied to those 
words in the days of my earliest youth. Though they 
were by no means literally true at the moment their 
effect was magical. The salesman stepped back with 
humility, and I accomplished my monetary transac- 
tion the conversion of dollars into rupees with no 
disadvantage to myself, while the money-changer ex- 
pressed no displeasure, but merely went away, looking 
resigned. When the ex-general, officers, &c., came to 
protect my finances from Oriental rapacity they were 
astonished to find that I had been favoured with a much 
better rate of exchange than any they had obtained. 



172 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

But I did not divulge the secret, for it would have been 
useless for them to have asserted that they were not 
mere passengers unless they had known how to do so 
in the proper tone of voice. 

The telegrams were posted up in the companion-way ; 
and as the news from South Africa was reassuring, 
every one went on shore in a cheery condition, though 
I was conscious of a few tremors, as I had still my 
cousins to find. This was another occasion, I felt, when 
extraneous assistance was better dispensed with, so I 
availed myself of none, except the guidance of some 
Singhalese of whom I inquired the way to my cousins' 
bungalow. They at once directed me to the lunatic 
asylum, which did not raise my spirits at all. In fact, 
under the circumstances such instructions seemed to 
have a personal impertinence that made me inclined to 
tell the rickshaw coolie to start off the opposite way. 
It took time to persuade oneself of the truth of them, 
for the mere fact of total ignorance of the subject in 
question nevers debars the Singhalese from giving advice. 
They speak English very fluently, and are a most quick- 
witted race, but the desire to be all-sufficient does not 
tend to make people reliable. They cringed round my 
rickshaw in marked contrast to the polite but sturdy, 
independent Malays, who look no more effeminate in 
their " sarongs " than Highlanders do in kilts ; but the 
low-country Singhalese in their " comboys " the folds 
of cloth which they wear twisted round them look as 
if they had tied up their legs in petticoats in order to 
pose as women, with their long hair dressed in feminine 
fashion with a comb stuck in above a knob at the back 
of the head. The appearance of the up-country Singh- 
alese is more imposing and more in keeping with the 
past records of the race and its legendary ancestor the 
lion, who, according to the Mahawanso a sacred book 
of Ceylon was the grandfather of the hero Wijeya, the 



PAHANG TO CEYLON VIA SINGAPORE AND PENANG. 173 

first of a long line of Singhalese sovereigns, who came 
to Lacdiway (Ceylon) with 700 warriors on the date of 
Buddha's death and called the island Singhala, in 
memory of " Singha," his leonine grandpapa. History 
apparently does not explain whether the descendants 
wear such long hair by way of perpetuating the mane 
of their ancestor. They have, at any rate, had many 
centuries in which to modify the original shagginess, 
and all sorts of Portuguese and Dutch influences, as one 
realised as one rickshawed through the streets of what 
was once the old Dutch fort of Colombo, where fine 
white buildings contrasted with the red of the cabook 
roads, shaded by great suriya trees with lemon-coloured 
blossoms that turn purple as they fade. 

Outside the fort the breakers were beating on Galle 
Face, the esplanade by the sea, the fashionable walk 
and drive of Colombo, nearly deserted now, for this 
was the hot weather and most people were away. Then 
we passed on down the Kollupitiya road pronounced 
Colpetty for short and into the Cinnamon Gardens, 
the chief residential quarter, where the roads were 
bordered by bungalows standing in their own grounds 
or compounds, to use the correct Anglo - Ceylonese 
word. Cinnamon itself will soon be no more than a 
memory in the Cinnamon Gardens, and people will 
have to go farther afield to find the cultivation of this 
earliest indigenous export of Ceylon ; but as the rick- 
shaw passed along there was such a delicious odour of 
terrestrial thanksgiving for munificent showers that the 
island seemed a vast temple filled with sweet savours 
spices wafting their fragrance like incense to the 
honour and glory of the Lord of the earth. 

Then we came to the Havelock race-course. The 
rickshaw coolie jerked his fingers towards a road that 
lay beside it and murmured inquiringly, " lunatic 
asylum ? " 



174 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

" Certainly not," I said ; and at that moment, to my 
relief, caught sight of my cousin Dora playing with a 
baby on the verandah of a pretty bungalow. 

" In there, in there," I directed the coolie. 

The garden gates were open. The coolie shot the 
rickshaw up to the verandah. 

" Dora ! " I shouted. 

Dora started up. She stared at me open-mouthed 
turned white, then green, and dropped the baby. 

" Griselda ! " she gasped. " You aren't dead, are you, 
Griselda?" 

" I suppose not," I said, just as if I were not sure, 
but I was so unprepared for the question. 

" I thought you must be your ghost," Dora explained, 
and still seemed rather suspicious. 

The baby howled. She rushed to pick it up, and I 
felt full of sudden sympathy for phantoms. 



CHAPTEE XV. 

NUWARA ELIYA, DICKOYA. 

WHEN my cousin Dora was at last convinced that I was 
not my own ghost, and began by degrees to understand 
the why and the wherefore of my sudden descent upon 
Ceylon, she persuaded me to stay on in the island and 
pay my promised visits, instead of merely stopping for 
a week, according to my original plan. I did not spend 
more than a few days with her, however, as the climatic 
conditions of February and March in Colombo were 
what one might imagine to be those of Purgatory. A 
sea breeze was usually to be felt, but in a room facing 
the land side one had either to do without any air 
at all or else run the risk of receiving the attentions 
of the land wind which prevailed at that time of year, 
and dispensed fevers, rheumatism, and chills of all 
kinds. If it blew upon one during sleep one might 
have awakened with a contorted countenance, so at 
least the ayah informed me, and I had to endure stifling 
to avert the other awful alternative. 

Dora had two sisters in Ceylon Laura, who was 
married to a planter and lived up country ; and Norah, 
who lived with her mother in Nuwara Eliya, the prin- 
cipal health-resort. It was decided that I should go 
to Norah and her mother next. 

The journey by rail from Colombo was easy, although 
it was unnecessarily prolonged on that particular occa- 



1*76 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

sion, as the engine-driver had forgotten to bring the 
staff, and we had to possess our souls in patience for an 
hour while a coolie ran back to Colombo to fetch it. 
It seemed absurd of the train not to go on its own 
errands, but probably unaccommodating railway points 
necessitated the substitution of human legs. The delay 
prevented our making the proper connections at the 
different stations and involved a great many stoppages 
all the way. But as we gradually ascended the air 
grew cooler, and the views were so lovely that one 
did not mind being able to stare at them for more 
than the orthodox time. The swampy brown " padi " 
fields, from which the rice had lately been taken, were 
left sweltering below us in the low country, shrouded by 
a haze of heat. The mountains rose up into strange 
shapes, which accounted for such English appellations 
as the Bible Eock and the Sentry-box. Adam's Peak 
peered at us some distance away, and rivers fussed 
through the valleys as if they wanted to race our train 
as it curled round the sharp curves of the railway. 
Great precipices yawned below the carriage windows ; 
and we passed under the jutting rock from which un- 
fortunate prisoners used to be hurled when the Kandyan 
kings reigned supreme. After this the air became more 
and more chilly and the panorama even more vast and 
grand. But the mountains had a half-tamed appear- 
ance. The wild tangle of forest had for the most part 
been ruthlessly stripped off them, and stumpy tea 
bushes and lines of straggly grevillea trees furrowed 
their bare sides like the bars of a cage. 

The railway now runs through Nuwara Eliya to 
Udapussellawa, but at that time it went no farther on 
our way than Nanu Oya, so that a coach had to take 
us on from there. After months of incessant heat and 
stickiness what a joy it was to feel healthily cold and 
be welcomed by a red, crackling fire and pull up the 



NUWARA ELIYA, DICKOYA. 177 

blankets in bed. The Nuwara Eliya climate at that 
time of year had every qualification to content even 
a grumbling John Bull. By day the air was warmed 
by bright sunshine, and by night it was freshened by 
frost. 

From my aunt's bungalow we had a fine view over 
the hill-surrounded plateau on which, at an altitude 
of 6200 ft. above the sea, the buildings are scattered 
which compose the modern Nuwara Eliya. In pre- 
historic times the mountain valley is supposed to have 
been the bed of a great lake ; and later on, when the 
water was gone, the plain is believed to have been 
very densely populated, as the traces of an old irriga- 
tion system and remains of great aqueducts testify. 
Dr Davy, a brother of the famous Sir Humphrey, 
discovered the mountain retreat in 1812, since which 
time a race-course, clubs, and golf links have become 
aggressively British features of the plain ; while beyond 
them an artificial lake, like a Highland loch, stretches 
to the hill - sides, and Pidurutallagalla, otherwise 
known as Mount Pedro, tilts its head higher than 
any other Ceylon mountain to a height of 8280 feet. 

In the garden, roses, violets, and geraniums scented 
the air and seemed thoroughly appreciative of their 
own value so far from their native home. Norah and 
I used to go out early and pick tree tomatoes ; and 
large wanderoo monkeys, peeping through the trees 
on the slopes of Mount Pedro, assured us that we 
were really in an eastern country, though it was hard 
to realise we were so close to the equator when we 
watched the Tamils pull their coverings artistically 
over themselves. They are blessed with the gift of 
gracefulness in all their ways, even in their shivers, 
which, among the chilly hills, are frequent and pro- 
longed. This southern Indian race has not limited 

M 



1*78 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

itself to the kingdom it founded at Jaffna, but has 
spread over many other parts of the island in which 
the Singhalese are now few and far between. From 
the time of Siri Vijayaraja Singha, who began to 
reign in 1739, the Kandyan kings themselves could 
not claim any Singhalese blood. They were pure 
Tamils, though they succeeded to a Singhalese 
dynasty. No women in the world have better 
figures, better poised heads, or a statelier walk than 
the Tamils ; and they attain these advantages very 
simply by carrying their burdens on their heads, an 
economical habit more beneficial to the appearance 
than any course of expensive lessons from deport- 
ment mistresses. 

All round Nuwara Eliya are beautiful drives to 
the Moon Plains, the Horten Plains, the Rambodde 
Pass, the Barrack Plains' Lake, the Hakgalla 
Gardens. The Patanas, or grass lands, are varied 
by mountains covered with jungle or dotted with 
tea bushes, which are grown at an altitude of 7000 feet 
on the Scrubs tea estate. But a Government decree 
has now forbidden trees to be felled or tea to be 
cultivated higher than 5000 feet, so the jungle which 
remains round Nuwara Eliya may thankfully expect 
to be left undisturbed. The beautiful uplands are 
covered with rhododendrons, and keena trees, which 
look rather like cypresses, outstretch gaunt branches 
in disapproval of their companions' gaudy taste. 
There are feasts of impressions for globe - scouring 
tourists but I was no mere passenger. I lived the 
life of the resident ; I saw the country from the 
inside, not the outside, so I was not allowed to moon 
away too much time in looking about, but was 
pounced upon to take the part of a heroine, for 
Easter was a very gay time in Nuwara Eliya, and 



NUVVARA ELIYA, DICKOYA. 1*79 

theatricals were the order of the day. The records 
of my diary grew very monotonous. 

Monday . Everybody very cranky at rehearsal. 
Tuesday . Everybody in a better temper. 
Wednesday . Hehearsal went shockingly. 
Thursday . Hero said he couldn't make love to 

order. 

Friday . Fresh hero found who could. 
Saturday . Almost everybody made to change 

their parts. 

Then we set to work again, and another week 
followed with almost the same statements, and so 
on, day after day we spent all the best hours 
rehearsing, ignoring the outdoor attractions of one 
of the loveliest places on earth. We were seldom 
free till the west was blazing with golden glory, 
and the silver moon, escorted by a shimmering planet, 
showed suspended overhead from a delicate pale-blue 
sky. Over Nanu Oya black clouds often lowered, 
split by jagged edges of lightning, and distant thunder 
grumbled in ominous contrast to the placid content of 
the luminous after-glow which crimsoned the lake on 
one side, while the other, shaded by the grey moun- 
tains, looked dark and grim as a scene in a tragedy. 

Even when the theatricals were over and done with, 
and the audience had obligingly laughed and cried in 
the proper places, there was still very little time at 
one's own disposal, for it was Easter week, and there 
was a gymkhana, dances and parties of one sort or 
another to fill up nights and days. The Governor's 
little court was in residence at Queen's Cottage, so an 
official lustre was shed over the gaieties. In the days 
when, from the native's point of view, a good deal of 



180 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

grandeur was associated with the office of Governor, 
these rulers were, from all accounts, unpretentious 
men. But now, in these equalising times, when the 
majesty of the individual is penetrating the Oriental 
mind, a Governor has to uphold his position and be- 
come so conscious of its weight that his guests have to 
rise to assist him with it whenever he enters the room, 
though he interprets this energy on their part as a 
mark of respect to the sovereign whom, even un- 
officially, he unceasingly represents. But, as Resi- 
dents, Government Agents, Collectors, Commissioners, 
even District Officers all represent the sovereign at 
some time or another, people in British dependencies 
will soon have no opportunity at all for sitting if they 
have to stand before each of his Majesty 's representa- 
tives. A sympathetic English public will really have 
to make a stir in the matter, as it did about London 
shop girls, and pass some measure through Parliament 
to enable a hasty use of camp-stools when his Majesty's 
representatives are looking the other way. 

When the principal Nuwara Eliya festivities were 
over another round commenced in the tea districts. 
Each neighbourhood takes it in turn to have what is 
known as a " meet " an assemblage of people from 
outlying places expected to amuse each other energeti- 
cally. Norah went from one meet to another, and 
only seemed to accomplish the round by the time a 
new year started her off on a fresh course of tennis 
and dancing. The Dickoya meet was the next in 
prospect, and we set off a family party my aunt, my 
aunt's aunt, Norah, the ayah, and I to stay with 
Laura, who lived in the heart of the tea district. 

My aunt had a shapely head, straight features, and 
the gift of perennial youth ; while my aunt's aunt, 
aged about eighty, was even more juvenile in all her 



NUWABA ELIYA, DICKOYA. 181 

ways. She took the greatest care of my aunt and 
forestalled all her wishes. If my aunt wanted to 
write a post-card, my aunt's aunt ran about and 
fetched pen and ink and cleared a table and ordered 
everybody out of the room, and put a chair ready and 
the post-card before my aunt, and then my aunt 
wrote the post-card. So, with the help of my aunt's 
aunt, we accomplished the train journey to Hatton, 
where there was a great deal of confusion over sorting 
coolies and baggage. A conveyance had come to 
fetch us, but our boxes had to be entrusted to the 
swarthy natives, who slung them over their shoulders 
and trotted off, making as much noise as possible. 

We drove sixteen miles along a road that wound 
among hills covered by tea bushes. Here and there 
patches of jungle remained, and grevilleas, the silver 
oaks of Australia, and eucalyptus, the Australian blue- 
gums, took off from the bareness of the tea estates 
on which these trees are planted in lines to give 
protection from wind and weather. At the end of the 
sixteen miles we had to exchange the carriage for the 
chairs which had been brought to meet us. Two 

o 

were arm-chairs, and the other two were straight- 
backed. It was difficult to decide which were more 
uncomfortable, and I expatiated upon the merits of 
sedan-chairs in China, as we were jolted along the 
narrow path that wound higher and higher over hills 
monotonous with tea bushes. One was made pain- 
fully conscious of discrepancies in the height of the 
bearers, who had a mule-like habit of walking on the 
extreme edge of the path, which almost always over- 
hung a steep precipice ; and a rushing mountain 
torrent at the foot did not add increased fascination 
to the prospect of tumbling over. The torrent 
bounced over great boulders, past the tea factory, 



182 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

and past a plantation of plantain trees, and a row 
of thatched huts known as the coolie lines. They 
were deserted, for even babies go out to work slung 
on their mothers' backs, and they begin to be wage- 
earners in their very early days, which is fortunate 
for them, all things considered, as the duties of 
parents are much more effectually practised by Tamils 
when the wellbeing of their offspring has a utilitarian 
claim. Just as we passed the coolie lines, a tom-tom 
was beaten, and a procession of men, women, and 
children filed down between the tea bushes to the 
factory, where the roll-call would be taken, and their 
day's labours recorded. Women and children do most 
of the plucking, and earn as much as the equivalent 
of fourpence a-day an improvement on the three 
farthings which is said to be a common day's wage 
in Southern India. Only the very young leaves can 
be taken, for the younger the leaves the finer the 
quality of the tea. All sorts of duties fall to the 
men, such as weeding the plantations and pruning the 
bushes, which are systematically cut down year by year. 
After passing the coolie lines the path grew still 
steeper, and the panting coolies shifted the chair- 
poles from shoulder to shoulder, until, grunting and 
groaning, they at last deposited us at the door of a 
bungalow so thickly covered with creepers that, 
instead of a house, it looked like a gigantic bird's 
nest. It was surrounded by a garden, where the 
flowers of Europe and Asia jostled each other in the 
most indiscriminate way. Heart's-ease and violets 
grew under tree-ferns. The lawn was sheltered by 
tree-daisies from the Nilgheries, and a huge orange 
tree in one corner was weighted down by a burden 
of fruit. There was red-leaved acalypha, clambering 
bignonia, and poinsettia with green leaves of one 



NUWARA ELIYA, DICKOYA. 183 

shape and red leaves of another shape, from which 
oozed a white fluid like milk. Guavas and tree 
tomatoes offered refreshment, and strawberry beds 
stretched to a background of jungle that covered 
the hill behind the bungalow. In front, beyond the 
green lawn and the gay-coloured bushes, one looked 
down a great gorge, where the river frothed and 
gurgled between tea-covered hillsides ; and in the far 
distance, purple mountains played hide-and-seek with 
the clouds. A jungle crow hooted in the strip of 
forest. It did not announce loudly " could do," like 
its Malay namesake, for the Ceylon jungle crow has 
got into the habit of not speaking clearly, and only 
mumbles some unintelligible sort of grunt. Ceylon 
robins flew from the trees to inspect us more closely. 
Another bird exclaimed " pretty, pretty, pretty/' 
which was most complimentary to us ; while a bright- 
green lizard, taking a constitutional among the rose 
bushes, suddenly turned red in the face and yellow 
in the body a sign of rage, some one informed me, 
coupled with an apoplectic tendency, I suppose ; but 
it seemed absurd it should lose its temper on account 
of the exuberant welcome which Laura was giving 
us. A white -turbaned servant made low salaams 
behind her, and several bronzed planters, who had 
ridden over from neighbouring tea estates, looked 
appropriately picturesque in riding - breeches and 
sun-helmets as they came up to help us out of our 
chairs. Then, as the sight of tea bushes does not 
destroy the tea appetite, we refreshed ourselves on 
the product, without which the Empire might almost 
be expected to tumble to pieces, for, as one of the 
planters observed, the foundation of British colonial 
enterprise is pretty nearly contemporaneous with the 
introduction of tea. 



184 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

" There certainly could be no enterprise without 
it," said my aunt with decision, as she placidly sipped 
her fourth cup. 

Nothing could have been pleasanter than to dream 
away days in such lovely surroundings, but the 
"meet" at Dickoya did not allow us to be idle for 
long. The gaieties began the next evening with a 
dance at the club. It was a long way off; and as 
nothing but mountain paths traversed most of the 
distance, we had to trust ourselves to the chair 
coolies, who stumbled along in the dark. The little 
monsoon, with the perversity of the elements, chose 
the occasion to announce the near approach of the 
south - west monsoon by descending in a torrent of 
rain. The north-east and south-west monsoons hold 
sway over Ceylon alternately from October to April 
and from April to October, and supply a rainfall in 
turn to the north-east and south-west parts of Ceylon. 
It would soon be the south-west monsoon's turn for 
the deluge, and the little monsoon most annoyingly 
chose the moment of our transit in ball - dresses to 
forewarn us of the fact. The coolies splashed about 
in the puddles, and as we could not see in the least 
where they were going we were spared the anxiety 
of watching for them to slip over the edge of the 
path. Their observations on the proceedings were 
incessant, and more than usually raucous, as the roar 
of the wind and the rain and the river did not 
facilitate conversation. 

Among the people who had collected from far and 
near on chairs and rickshaws and horses I found 
the sister of an old schoolfellow, and before the 
meet was over I had promised to spend a couple of 
days in Maskeliya with the planter and his wife with 
whom she was staying at the time. 



NUWARA ELIYA, DICKOYA. 185 

During the week that intervened before this visit 
I was oppressed by a strange restlessness. It even 
kept me awake in the night ; and when everybody 
else was asleep I used to creep out and play the 
ghost in the garden, till the eucalyptus trees, with 
their silvery leaves shining white in the moonlight, 
themselves looked so much like apparitions that they 
checked my nocturnal explorations and drove me 
back in ignominious hurry to bed. I was invited to 
Maskeliya on a Wednesday, but I wrote and asked 
whether I might wait till the Thursday. My aunt, 
my aunt's aunt, Laura, and Norah, were all anxious 
to know why. 

" Well," I said, feeling thankful that my aunt was 
superstitious, " almost all my misfortunes have hap- 
pened on Wednesdays. Wednesday is my unlucky 
day, I think." 

As my aunt was inclined to be sympathetic, my 
explanation sounded more satisfactory than it might 
have done otherwise. Unfortunately, my unknown 
hostess in Maskeliya replied that she must beg me 
to come on the Wednesday, as she had purposely 
arranged a gemming-party for that afternoon. 

"Never mind," said my aunt; "when you arrive 
and find nothing bad has happened, you'll be able to 
leave off thinking Wednesday is your unlucky day." 

As it was certainly a great nuisance to have to set 
aside one day of the week as unfortunate, I acknow- 
ledged that there would be some advantage if I could 
do that. 

The round of gaiety had moved on to Kandy, so 
to Kandy Norah was also moving on. We had a 
scramble to start early enough on the Wednesday 
morning, and just at the last moment I was over- 
whelmed by a heterogeneous collection of belongings 



186 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

which I was on the point of leaving behind. The 
coolies had gone ahead with my box, so the things 
had to be stuffed into a small bag, which bulged to 
repletion by the time it had absorbed a purse, candle- 
holders, a piece of special soap, a Queen's House 
invitation, extra hat -pins, sandwiches, a bottle of 
claret and water, and several books, without which I 
dared not stir not that I ever looked into them 
when I took them, but, if I omitted them, all the 
information that I needed seemed invariably shut 
away in those unavailable volumes. 

" I'll start ahead. You see I've the train to catch 
at Hatton," said Norah, as I stopped to thrust a 
tennis - racquet, tennis - shoes, sun - shades, and an 
umbrella into the carry ing- chair. 

" All right ! " I answered amiably. Certainly there 
was no use in her waiting. Our respective roads only 
took us in the same direction for a short way. 

"I'll leave you the best coolies, as you're not accus- 
tomed to rickshaws," she called, and vanished in the 
distance, so that I could not comment upon her 
remark, but, as I pointed out to Laura, my rickshaw 
experience was by now extensive, and I only wished 
I could mount Norah up behind Japanese and Chinese 
coolies and show her what rickshaw-pulling really is 
like. 

" Any way, you're off on your travels now," said 
Laura. ' ' Don't lose yourself in the country, or elope 
or do anything rash." 

My farewell was jerky, as the coolies were jolting 
me down the rough path. We came to the road and 
found the rickshaw waiting with three strapping 
Tamils. One was to pull it in front and two were 
to push it behind. Half-way another rickshaw and 
other coolies from Maskeliya were to meet me, and 



NUWARA ELIYA, DICKOYA. 187 

the last two of the twenty miles which lay before me 
I should have to accomplish in a carrying-chair. 

I got into the rickshaw ; the bulging bag, the shoes, 
the bat, umbrella, and sun -shades were all put in 
beside me, and away we started full tilt. It was 
still early, and the keen mountain air was more than 
usually tingling and fresh. It infected the coolies, 
who raced down the road like high-spirited thorough- 
breds. The sun shone. The birds chirruped. The 
grevilleas bowed me good morning. The natives on 
the roadside salaamed as I whirled past. I felt so 
well and energetic that I almost wished I might put 
the coolie in the rickshaw and myself between the 
shafts. Yet, in spite of all this, I was attacked by 
melancholy, so much so that I began to weep in the 
most unaccountable way. It seemed such an anomaly 
to burst into tears when rushing through the air on 
such a glorious morning that I continued to cry from 
sheer astonishment at such folly, until the rickshaw 
nearly charged into some bullock-carts round a corner, 
and my tears dried as I realised that I was being 
whirled along at a positively break-neck pace. 

The Japanese and Chinese know how to balance 
rickshaws by throwing their weight as required on 
either shaft, but a Tamil simply pulls a rickshaw 
along in a happy-go-lucky manner without under- 
standing how to balance it in the least. I longed to 
tell the coolies to go slower, but was prevented by the 
practical difficulty of not knowing the Tamil for the 
word. Englishwomen in Ceylon do not, as a rule, 
make a very deep study of the Tamil language. The 
conversational topics of the coolies are said to be 
restricted generally to their food and pay and not 
always complimentary comments on the fair sex. 
Though these often seem matters of the deepest 



188 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GKISELDA. 

interest, even to more exalted communities, they are 
hardly sufficiently stimulating to induce one to learn 
a fresh language so as to be able to take part. Still, 
paucity of language is always a drawback. " Zurika," 
I was on the point of shouting, when fortunately I 
remembered that "zurika" meant quick. I could 
tell the coolies to hurry, but I was incapable of telling 
them to go slowly. It was tantalising to sit tongue- 
tied and watch oneself being rushed into jeopardy 
all for want of knowledge of one miserable little 
word. 

But I had not many moments for such contempla- 
tion, for the rickshaw men suddenly shot round a 
sharp corner just where the road sloped downhill 
across an aqueduct. Some coolies were working at 
the side of it, and a big hoe had been left sticking 
upright a few yards in front of us in the middle of 
the road. The rickshaw men could not stop at the 
pace they were going. They sprang to one side to 
avoid a collision, and I became unconscious of every- 
thing except a general upheaval, overturning, and 
smash ! 



189 



CHAPTER XVI. 

MASKELIYA. 

I FOUND myself flat on my face on the road without 
the least notion how I came there. I noticed that 
the rickshaw coolies were fighting the road-menders, 
and that some Tamil women had left off picking tea- 
leaves and clustered round me, wailing in a melan- 
choly chorus, " Ay oh ! Ay oh ! Ay oh ! " 

Another blank then consciousness resumed by 
finding myself flat on my back with a very heated 
and bashful young Englishman standing over me. 

" Can I be of any assistance ? " he asked with great 
formality. 

" Yes, please, help me to get up," I said in a 
hurry, for the sun was shining on me and I did not 
care to risk sunstroke. 

When I tried to stand on my feet my left leg 
doubled under me, and looking down I saw that the 
foot was wobbling helplessly, and was so twisted that 
the heel had almost changed places with the toes. 

" Dear me ! I'm afraid I've broken my leg," I said 
in a deep tragic voice that would have been invaluable 
for the Nuwara Eliya theatricals. 

The young man looked covered with confusion, and 
suggested that a tea factory was close by. It did not 
seem a very appropriate resort. I asked how far off I 



190 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

was from my destination, but he had not the faintest 
idea. He explained that he was a " creeper," a new 
assistant learning his first duties on a tea estate, 
and that he had not been a week in the island, 
which he seemed to consider a rather alarming place. 
All I could learn from him was " molle," the Tamil 
for slow. I crawled back into the rickshaw and 
dictated a telegram to a doctor, which he promised 
to send. The coolies collected my possessions, 
books, hat-pins, soap, Queen's House invitation, &c., 
which were scattered all over the road. Then 
" molle, molle po " (slowly, slowly go), I commanded, 
and the rickshaw was drawn on cautiously at a walk. 
Even then the jolting was agonising and the pain 
almost unendurable. The sun shone, the sky was 
blue, the birds twittered, nothing was altered except 
my own point of view, and that now caused me to 
explore a new world of agony where the cries of 
humanity rang in my ears from sick - beds, from 
dungeons, from battle-fields. The whole of creation 
groaned and travailed with man, and dumb creatures 
made mute appeal against cruelty and torture. Life 
was hemmed in by pain from birth to death, and the 
possibilities of misery seemed as limitless as infinity. 
Yet if it were true, as Darwin taught, that the higher 
animals were evolved " from the war of nature, from 
famine and death," pain was shown to be the chisel 
of God, the instrument shaping creation, forming 
character, soul the intangible personality which 
cannot be explained by any arrangement of molecular 
cells, even though such arrangement may be the 
primary foundation. Thus the shadow of the Cross 
fell athwart the earth, and Ideal Man lifted on the 
Cross became the Redeemer as He Himself was 
"made perfect through suffering." 



MASKELIYA. 191 

Having conveniently shed my tears in advance, 
like the White Queen in "Alice through the Look- 
ing-glass," there was nothing to handicap me in 
getting my foot back into proper position. Taking 
my right foot as a guide, this was easy to accom- 
plish, and the pain was so much lessened that it 
became bearable. The change to the second rickshaw 
was a trying undertaking, as from the coolies one 
neither received nor expected help, though the men 
from Maskeliya looked sympathetic by virtue of inno- 
cence, and the others distinctly ashamed of them- 
selves. Once more we set off at a slow, tedious 
pace, and though the scenery was lovely my interest 
was absorbed by the ruts and stones on the rough 
cart-road. So on for wearisome miles and then 
another pause, while fresh coolies met us with a 
carrying - chair. It was long -shaped like a cradle, 
and I managed to roll into it with the inconvenient 
escort of the bag, the bat, the umbrella, and the sun- 
shades. The coolies hoisted the chair and splashed 
into a wide rushing river, where the water was dash- 
ing over boulders and tumbling in frantic cascades. 
On the other side steep paths rose up before us, and 
the terrible journey seemed lengthening into eternity. 
The accident happened at nine in the morning, and it 
was two o'clock before I at last arrived. I stood up 
on one leg in the chair and dangled the other. " I'm 
sorry I'm late," I said, " but I'm afraid I've broken 
my leg." 

The gemming - party had arrived hours before. 
They were growing cross and had been hungry for 
a long time. 

" Her leg is broken," the hostess announced. 

" Nonsense ! " said the men. " She couldn't have 
travelled for fifteen miles in the heat of the day with 



192 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

a broken leg and have arrived quite cool and collected. 
No man could have done it," they declared, just as 
though women did not do all sorts of things that 
men are unequal to. But the gemming - party felt 
depressed, and went and played tennis instead of 
searching for moonstones and sapphires. 

The doctor appeared at five. 

" Both bones broken," he announced, setting the 
smaller one, and explaining that I had set the big 
one myself when I twisted the foot into place. 

He put the leg into splints, and mellowed the 
operation with compliments, while the Singhalese 
"appu" (butler), misunderstanding the facts of the 
case, hurried off with a big stick to belabour the 
innocent Maskeliya coolies. 

In spite of an excess of kindness from my hosts 
and every one else, the days and nights that followed 
could not be enjoyable, though they improved when 
I could be carried into the garden on a long chair by 
four coolies, while the "appu" marched ahead brand- 
ishing his stick to encourage the others, though he 
himself took good care not to help. 

The beautiful view did its best to make one forget 
all injuries. On all sides hills surrounded the garden, 
the higher ones covered with jungle, the lower ones 
hard at work growing tea. 

Maskeliya is the nearest tea district to Adam's 
Peak, and it is from there that the easier ascent of 
the mountain is made. The steeper and from the 
pilgrim's point of view more profitable ascent is from 
Katnapura, the " city of gems," so called from the 
precious stones found in its vicinity. Alexander 
the Great is believed to have fixed the chains which 
assist people up the mountain, which does not look as 
shapely and imposing from Maskeliya as it does from 



MASKELIYA. 193 

the low country. When the Peak is seen from the 
becoming angle one understands the attentions paid 
it by the first three Buddhas of the present Kalpa, 
and wonders that Gautama should have visited the 
island three times before he took any notice of the 
" Woman of Ceylon," as the mountain is called in 
the Raja Ratnacari, one of the old sacred books. 
However, after the god Saman Dewa Raja had 
pointed out "this mighty rock, the name of which 
is Samana Coota (Adam's Peak), which appears like 
a rock of blue sapphire, and which, being five leagues 
high, is constantly touched by the passing clouds," 
Buddha, " turning his eyes to the east, beheld the 
spiral top of the elevated mountain as the woman 
of the island of Ceylon, with head lifted up, and 
with anxious expectation, looking out for the coming 
of her lord, on account of having been twice disap- 
pointed of her expected dowry namely, the print 
of the foot of Buddha, who had twice come to Ceylon 
without having visited the said sacred place ..." 
Gautama was touched, and said to her, " This day 
will I comfort thee, O thou woman of Ceylon, as 
other Buddhas have done" and accordingly did so 
by ascending through the clouds with five hundred 
attendant ministers, and leaving the impression of 
his left foot on the summit of the mountain. " Thus 
Buddha comforted the woman of Ceylon." 

All the same, he was a little dilatory in his atten- 
tions, and Samana Coota was more honoured by 
Adam, who, according to Mohammedan legend, was 
hurled there from Paradise, and remained poised on 
one leg for over two hundred years until the Angel 
Gabriel restored to him Eve, who had been prostrated 
at Mecca. I at once asked whether Adam's other leg 
had been broken, but no one was able to say ; but if 

N 



194 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

it had not been he might just as well have stood on 
both legs, so I felt justified in having a fellow-feeling 
for him, and was consoled by the reflection that a 
broken leg in such a renowned vicinity ought to invest 
even the plaster of Paris with an odour of sanctity. 

Most of the people on the estate were too busy to 
think about either Gautama or Adam. The tom-tom 
let no one forget that the day's work began at six 
o'clock. The coolies were counted and sent off in 
gangs to pluck and prune and weed and clear the 
surface - drains. Several times during the day the 
superintendent noted the weight of leaf plucked by 
each coolie, and according to the total at the close 
of the day, the pluckers were entitled to a whole or 
a half day's wage. Practice certainly made perfect 
over the operation. The women nipped the leaves off 
the bushes and tossed them into baskets on their 
backs with the rapidity of machines. 

The sick coolies were doctored by their mistress, or 
" Dorisami," as she was known on the estate. None 
of them had much the matter except one poor crea- 
ture afflicted by cancer, the result of a marital blow. 
Castor-oil appeared to be the most popular medicine ; 
after a dose the patient went away licking his lips so 
as not to lose a drop of the delicacy. The Singhalese 
" appu " marshalled them up in turn to be treated. 
He was full of pomposity where Tamils were con- 
cerned, and overwhelmed with humility in the pres- 
ence of white people. He had a horror of waste, and 
sometimes carried economy to lengths that were really 
alarming. One day he hurried in to his mistress, 
holding a most forlorn looking chicken. 

"Please, lady, chicken very sick," he explained. 
"Better kill for dinner, otherwise soon die then 
how can kill ? " 



MASKELIYA. 195 

As fowl was the most conspicuous item of the 
daily menu, our appetites fell off visibly till we 
saw that chicken interred. 

An occasion of rejoicing, involving a whole holi- 
day, came to pass for the coolies owing to the head 
Cangani being about to fetch a wife from India, 
a fresh wife, presumably, as he seemed to have one 
lady already in evidence ; however, she might have 
been a deceased wife's sister for all one could tell. 
Canganis are important people. They bring coolies 
over in batches from India, look after them and 
their finances, and administer castigations when such 
are thought to be necessary, which should not be 
often in these self-respecting days. It was there- 
fore quite natural that the coolies should take an 
interest in the Cangani's approaching nuptials, and, 
as it happened, we heard of the relief of Mafeking 
most appropriately on the same day. 

All the coolies were summoned to the garden, and 
the " Peria Dore " (master) made them a speech. 
He told them of " the victory to British arms, and 
congratulated them upon being the fortunate sub- 
jects of the good Rani, the great white Queen " 

" Hi-i-i-i-i-i," screeched the Tamil women in ap- 
proving chorus. 

" upon whose dominions the sun never ceased 
shining 

" H-i-i-i-i-i-," squealed the women. 

" and which should always be lightened in the 
same way by liberty, justice, and truth." 

"Yes," said the appu, who found it necessary to 
take part. " Kandyan kings' time no roof to our 
houses " 

The tom-toms drowned the rest of his discourse, 
and some of the men began to fence with long 



196 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

sticks, making hideous grimaces, and throwing them- 
selves into extraordinary attitudes. Some others 
did a stick dance, and followed it by a torn - torn 
dance, salaaming low to the Peria Dore before any 
fresh display. Meanwhile a small boy whirled round 
and round till we all felt giddy. His costume con- 
sisted of a girdle of leaves, and saffron-coloured lines 
painted over his body, his face also being of the 
same saffron hue. He was intended to represent a 
Veddah or Ceylonese aborigine. 

The women were every bit as active. Their pet 
performance was to go round and round in a circle, 
bending forward and clapping their hands to the 
rhythm of a low chant which they crooned mono- 
tonously. After a time there was a pause, and the 
head Cangani made a speech about Mafeking, at 
least that appeared to be the subject, as he re- 
peated the name over and over again. No doubt 
he had discreetly retired round a corner and learnt 
it from the appu, who, of course, had at once 
mastered its intricacies. When the Cangani had 
finished, his particular lady stepped forward. She 
was a tall, handsome woman, and was draped in 
white muslin in graceful Tamil style. Bracelets 
and anklets jingled at every movement, and heavy 
ornaments hung from her nose and ears. She burst 
into a monotonous high-pitched croon, in which she 
sang the praises of the Peria Dore and the Dori- 
sami, and the glories of the estate. 

" H-i-i-i-i-i-," squealed the other women in chorus 
at regular intervals. 

" H-i-i-i-i-i-," they were still squeaking to their 
own satisfaction when we went in to dinner, feeling 
almost as thirsty as if we had been performing, but 
somehow the drinks were not a success that even- 



MASKELIYA. 197 

ing, and the Dorisami suddenly suggested that cham- 
pagne had better be opened in which to drink to 
the relief of Mafeking. She did not take us into 
her confidence at the time, but we knew afterwards 
she had discovered that the soda - water had run 
out, and the appu, never at a loss, had made use of 
Eno's fruit salt as a substitute. 

Naturally the appu was determined that the 
Singhalese should take part in the day's rejoicings, 
so some of the Tamils were converted into ebony 
statues, and held blazing torches to illuminate the 
scene. From the shadows stepped two figures in 
scarlet, gold - embroidered jackets and short, gold- 
embroidered petticoats fastened over their white 
" comboys." They wore gigantic masks, hideous 
beyond description, with protruding fangs and enor- 
mous goggle eyes. Tom-toms were beaten, a soli- 
tary fiddle scraped, and the devil-dancers began to 
twist and turn and wave their supple fingers, which 
seemed to take the chief part in the dance. The 
expressions of the masks looked enough to scare 
any number of devils, but the exorcism of demons 
did not seem to trouble the performers, who ap- 
peared to be engrossed in entertaining their audi- 
ence. When they paused to rest, a boy emerged 
from the shadows and went through ' some slow, 
long-drawn-out contortions. He was resplendent in 
spangled green satin to represent a woman, who 
must have been the lady of nursery-rhyme notoriety, 

with 

" Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, 
She shall have music wherever she goes," 

for the jingling made by each movement was in 
itself a compressed symphony. 

Once more the devil-dancers had a turn, and then 



198 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

another couple appeared in white clothes with straw 
hats to represent " Master and Lady." As we did 
not understand whether they constituted the comic 
element of the entertainment, or whether they were 
intended to be a sober compliment, " Master and 
Lady" were rather at a loss to know how to 
express their sentiments. But that did not 
matter, for the irrepressible tom-tom beaters were 
thoroughly enjoying their evening, and thumped 
out their satisfaction long after the last exultant 
rocket had whizzed into the air, and bonfires 
on the hillsides had exhausted themselves doing 
honour to Mafeking. 



199 



CHAPTER XVII. 

DICKOYA, RATNAPURA. 

THE south - west monsoon had kindly delayed its 
coming, but after I had spent three weeks in 
Maskeliya we knew it could not postpone it much 
longer, so Laura came over to fetch me away 
before the torrents of rain should descend. 

It was not easy to travel encased in plaster of 
Paris, but somehow the journey was accomplished, 
and the ayah ran out the first to welcome me, crying 
"Apah! Missie, Apah, Apah!" in a paroxysm of 
distress over my pitiable fate. She was a small 
Singhalese, very smart in a red "comboy" and a 
low-cut white jacket in which she braved the chilli- 
ness of the hills and showed off a pair of dimpled 
shoulders and a plump neck adorned by a coral chain. 
Her features were pretty and regular, and her black 
hair was oiled till it shone. She was vain of her 
nice white teeth, and consequently was chary of 
staining them red by chewing areca-nut. She did not 
care to be any one's ayah for long, but went from 
one mistress to another, collecting on her rounds a 
whole history of Ceylon society. Laura, Dora, and 
Norah were quite embarrassed by her publication of 
the private diaries of their friends, and we all felt 
we must behave with great decorum, as there was 



200 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

no doubt that we should come in as " copy " for 
future use. But she was a cheery companion while 
the rains descended and the winds blew, for the 
monsoon had broken and clouds scampered up and 
down the valley. Adam's Peak and the other high 
mountains had wrapt themselves up in the mist. 
The river roared as it dashed past the huts and 
the plantain - trees, and endless little trickles came 
tumbling down the hills to join it and help to do 
the work at the factory, and start the machinery 
whizzing and whirring so as to provide civilisation 
with afternoon tea. After a week or so the rain 
became more intermittent and the sun shone out at 
intervals. The trees shook themselves dry in the 
wind, the flowers lifted their damp faces, and dowdy, 
old-maidish-looking birds, called the " seven sisters," 
chattered and squabbled over their housekeeping 
under an English oak which was being used as an 
umbrella by clambering passion - flowers and wild 
jungle "tangapu" in thoroughly colonial, unconven- 
tional style. 

At the end of the sunshiny interludes, when the 
wind chased the clouds back and the deluge de- 
scended, the coolies sometimes carried me to the 
factory to watch the progress of the tea-leaves after 
they had left the squat little bushes and started on 
their business career. They were first passed to the 
upper storey of the factory, where they were spread 
out thinly on shelves of wire or jute hessian to wither 
and let the sap evaporate. Then they were swept 
together and passed down a shoot to the lower storey, 
where they were rolled by machinery to squeeze the 
tannin out. The mash that merged from the roller 
was next passed through a roll-breaker, by which the 
small fine leaves were sifted through a wire -mesh 



DICKOYA, RATNAPURA. 201 

on to a cloth below. Then they were spread in 
wooden frames until fermentation took place, being 
left a longer or shorter time according to whether 
black or green tea were to be the result. My aunt's 
aunt, who was an ardent temperance advocate, was 
so depressed the first time she discovered this 
that she utterly declined ever to be called a tee- 
totaler again. After fermentation the leaves were 
passed through the desiccator and emerged dry and 
brittle, and about 75 per cent lighter than they 
were in their raw state. The tea was then left for 
a night in bins to cool, and passed finally through 
sieves which arrested the different grades and auto- 
matically shot out their respective contents into 
chests ready to be divided, weighed, and packed. 
The best was the gold -tipped orange Pekoe, too 
strong to be used by itself. 

The whole process of Ceylon tea-making is clean, 
but the planters would not allow that the same could 
be said of the methods in vogue in China, though 
the Chinese are supposed to have drunk, if not tea, 
at any rate some decoction of leaves for nearly five 
thousand years ; while the first Ceylon tea was only 
planted in the Rambodde Pass in 1842, and was not 
cultivated in any quantity until the downfall of coffee, 
less than thirty years ago. In the low country it is 
already being superseded by rubber, some kinds of 
which, such as the Para (Hevea Braziliensis), grow well 
up to an altitude of about 3000 feet. As the price 
of clean plantation rubber has been over 6s. per lb., 
and the cost of producing it is about 2s. per lb., it 
has given just cause for popularity. But in the last 
year of the nineteenth century it was for the most 
part only in its infancy in the island (trees are not 
tapped until they are six years old), so one was 



202 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 



spared incessant conversation on the subject, and 
such enlightening observations as " Crepe seems dull 
to-day, but worms are very firm." 

Although it was entertaining to be carried along 
lovely hill -paths hoisted on the shoulders of pictur- 
esque coolies, it was cheering to be made independent 
again by freedom from plaster of Paris. It was dis- 
concerting at first to find my injured limb converted 
into a sort of immovable tree-trunk, as though I were 
Daphne turning into a laurel over again, but I could 
measure improvement in the art of walking by the 
distances to the different gullies carpeted by maiden- 
hair ferns, which in Ceylon have a knack of making 
a garden of even a wilderness. Kind planters were 
often ready to assist my faltering footsteps. It was 
charming to have them there, and equally pleasant 
to do without them. The only way to enjoy and 
appreciate neighbours is by being quite independent 
of them, and with nature, as with one's other friends, 
one can only make real acquaintance by indulging in 
tete-d-tetes. It is a "still small voice" that we hear 
in nature, and it is in a " still small voice " that 
nature's Creator speaks, and nowhere can we listen 
better than when we climb, like Elijah, alone to the 
mountain-top. 

A more material advantage, however, to be gained 
from clambering the hillsides was that it loosened 
stiffened muscles and taught me to walk again. 
Every halting footstep filled me with such exuber- 
ant pleasure that the prim little tea -bushes round 
me might have fancied a lunatic had broken loose. 
With the body in working order we are each of us 
a variety theatre of amusements ; and though the 
chisel of pain may fall, it is only to shape us so 
that there may be scope for the drama of existence 



DICKOYA, EATNAPURA. 203 

to be more fully played. Considering the infinite 
possibilities of pleasure for those who have daily 
sufficiency, one wonders that the world has not 
learnt to be less at the mercy of sorrow in the 
overflowing superabundance of all that is given so 
richly to be enjoyed. 

The corner of a hill near the bungalow was an 
ideal spot to watch the sunset ; for then above the 
western mountains the sky was a vivid crimson, and 
the lowest depths of the valley were flooded with 
golden light. To the east the contrast was dismal : 
the river below was leaden, the grevilleas were dusky 
smudges, a daub of black marked the jungle, and 
the tea-bushes crouched asleep. In the west there 
was living daylight, but the east was shrouded by 
death - like night. The swirl of the water made 
music in the stillness an improvised accompaniment 
to an impromptu song 

Good-bye ; golden sunset ! Good-bye, peep of heaven ! 

Although we turn back to the glooni and the night, 
The sun's parting splendour as earnest is given, 

From night we shall wake to day's fulness of light ! 

In spite of the monsoon Laura did not give us 
much time to indulge in monotony. We used to 
be carried miles to visit our neighbours, and callers 
had a habit of turning up at all hours in the most 
promiscuous way. We celebrated the taking of 
Pretoria, and the residents grumbled at the influx 
of Boer prisoners ; while my aunt's aunt, who was 
growing a little deficient of hearing, thought the 
animals, boars, were in question, and curtailed her 
walks abroad. Then from the outside world came 
the bomb-like news that startled civilisation the 
accounts of the real and imaginary massacres in 



204 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

China and the siege of the Legations in Peking. 
The prospects of a prolonged war were looked upon 
as the usual wind of mixed good and evil. The 
planters hoped China tea might be ousted from 
the market and Ceylon tea given more chance. 
The poor planters felt hardly used. Profits had 
been growing smaller and smaller, although the retail 
price of tea in shops remained the same. They 
thought it hard to belong to an empire fitted out 
to be a co-operative store society, and find that the 
system of management shut up different depart- 
ments and sent customers to shop outside. 

One night I dreamed a dream, and went to my 
aunt for the interpretation. I dreamt I was on a 
big steamer which carried me a long, long way. 
Then I found myself on land in a flat, bare country. 
I stood on a dusty road. Soldiers were swarming 
round me, and suddenly an officer came thundering 
towards me on horseback. 

" The man galloping on the horse means sudden 
tidings," interpreted my aunt. "You'll go away in 
a steamer, but not the way you expect. Instead, 
you will reach the country of your dream." 

As I had a real journey to the low country before 
me, the dream - voyage was not of much apparent 
account. I said an revoir, as I thought, to every 
one, and the coolies carried me off on a chair. 
Higher and higher we mounted to the hilltops and 
the jungle, leaving Bogawantalawa, covered with 
mist like soap - suds, in the middle of having its 
bath. When we emerged from the jungle it was 
to a dry world of sunshine, in which the low 
country below us lay outspread in the noonday 
heat. Thatched roof-tops told of scattered villages ; 
jungle sometimes made room politely for plantations, 



DICKOYA, RATNAPURA. 205 

and sometimes insisted upon its own right to a 
share of the soil ; brilliant green patches were rice- 
fields which terraced the sides of the hills. Our 
way now lay always downwards. For the most 
part it was solitary, except for an occasional grim 
old man basking in the sunshine, with perhaps a 
pariah dog crouching opposite the counterpart of 
himself. 

The bungalow where I spent the night was at an 
altitude of 3500 feet only 500 feet lower than the 
one at Bogawantalawa ; but even this difference made 
a great change in the temperature, and a D.T. bird 
in the garden shrieked bad language in a livery, hot- 
weather way. 

Next day we again descended, and the next 
bungalow I stayed at was at an altitude of less 
than 2000 feet. I looked out across unbroken 
jungle and realised that it was getting warm. 

The following morning a river had to be forded, 
and, after being carried two more miles, I reached 
Balangoda and the coach. I was given the place 
of honour the box-seat by the driver. The other 
passengers were brown - skinned, and made to take 
back seats. I soon contemplated the advisability of 
joining them, as the regard paid to my complexion 
was not an unmixed blessing, owing to the un- 
limited view the front seat afforded of the eccentric 
behaviour of the steeds. The first pair were most 
anxious to kick at starting, and were only pre- 
vented by their front legs being too shaky to 
allow them to raise their hind ones ; so that they 
had to resign themselves to circumstances and shuffle 
on their way. At the next stage we changed horses 
by a precipice, apparently for the sake of the added 
excitement it might entail. The idea succeeded; what 



206 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

with the plunging and shying, coach and all nearly 
toppled over the bank. The third pair had to have 
their movements accelerated by firebrands ; and 
though the last pair went famously once they were 
started, one had to pull the coach by himself some 
way, while a horse -keeper ran beside him leading 
the other until he could surreptitiously hitch on 
the trailing traces and catch the sluggard unawares. 
Then the horse - keepers poised themselves on one 
leg on either side of the conveyance, and were 
ready at a moment's notice to jump down and 
mend the harness with string. 

Owing to all these distractions it was difficult to 
pay proper attention to the scenery. The country 
was very pretty, but that is an accurate statement to 
make about almost any part of Ceylon. There were 
green hills looming near us and blue hills farther 
away. We passed jungle, and rice-fields where buffa- 
loes wallowed, and under jak-trees with large green 
pods dangling out of the thick branches and trunks. 
Feathery palms and the great cool leaves of the plan- 
tains gave the foliage a grace and richness that have 
the same luxurious effect on one's powers of vision 
that the damp, steamy atmosphere has on the rest of 
one's composition, once one has learnt the charm of 
its sensuous languor and does not wear oneself out in 
rebellious longing for a north-easterly gale. There 
are certainly moments in the Tropics when distance 
lends enchantment to a piercing east wind. 

At Palmadulla I went into the rest-house. As 
usual, one's tiffin was in evidence in the garden. The 
first course was scraping and clucking under the 
second course, which was hanging in a cluster above. 
However, afternoon tea was all that I needed, so I 
declined the eternal invitation to " chicken curry and 



DICKOYA, RATNAPURA. 207 

plantain fritters," and in so doing saved the life of an 
elderly rooster which a coolie was hunting in the vain 
hope that exercise prior to demise might result in 
tenderness of the flesh. But as I demanded jam in- 
stead of chicken, the old cock was spared for the time 
being, and strutted off with a purple countenance to 
reassert his offended dignity by bullying his innocent 
wives. 

As the coach brought us near to Ratnapura we 
passed some of the natives in the enormous hats which 
they wear to protect their faces from rain. The dress 
allowance of several must have been consumed by the 
millinery effort, judging by the scantiness of the rest 
of their toilets. 

Ratnapura and the night appeared together. The 
fireflies lighted up and danced in the gathering 
shadows. The insect orchestra began to hum and 
buzz and boom. Spreading ingersamen trees folded 
the dainty leaves which they always tuck up in the 
evening. In the distance the hills looked as unreal as 
painted stage scenery. Palms stood out dark against 
the paling sunset, and fleecy clouds overhead scurried 
over the face of the moon. Hidden among the trees 
was my destination the Residency. Stretched on a 
long chair on one of its pleasant verandahs I once 
more felt myself " Government punya," as the Malays 
would say. 

I was the last but not the first of my family to be 
known in Ratnapura ; so next day I held a little 
reception, and was introduced to old residents. A 
Ratemahatmaya and his wife were among the prin- 
cipal callers. They were attended by an interpreter, 
who translated their remarks into flowery compli- 
ments. The Ratemahatmaya's appearance was not 
as imposing as it would have been at an official func- 



208 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

tion, when fold after fold of " comboy " swathed tightly 
round his person would have lent him a corpulent 
dignity. At this friendly call he looked too small for 
the length of his title ; neither did the latter seem 
quite in keeping with a black billycock perched on 
top of his feminine coiffure, nor the pair of check 
trousers that made themselves evident below his 
striped " comboy." 

His wife was a very beaming little lady. Like 
other Singhalese women, she showed by her expres- 
sion that the fair sex have never allowed themselves 
to be too down -trodden in Ceylon. Queens and 
princesses played important parts throughout Singh- 
alese history, and the women were never " purdah 
nashim " (curtain hidden) like the ladies of India. 

A Ratemahatmaya is a very high dignitary. Other 
native officials are the Mudaliyars and Arachchis, and 
many more whose positions cannot be more stupend- 
ous than their names. 

Ratnapura was a green luxuriant place where trees 
and ferns and creepers ran riot ; even the minerals 
expressed themselves as jewels in the " City of Gems." 
One of its chief adornments was the " Kalu Ganga " 
(black river), with bamboos fringing its banks. It 
formed a waterway to Kalutara, and processions of 
flat-bottomed boats disturbed the reflections of the 
bamboos, which appeared, like Narcissus, to have 
fallen in love with their own dainty selves. 

The Residency, like most Ceylon bungalows, was 
built on the ground instead of being raised on sup- 
ports, after the Malayan plan. In consequence there 
was plenty of opportunity to turn amateur naturalist. 
It was more than probable that one would find scor- 
pions sitting under the flower-pots, or centipedes ready 
to stroll in to pay a call just when one was barefooted 



DICKOYA, RATNAPURA. 209 

and prepared to empty a chatty of water over one's 
head the customary method of taking a bath. The 
tub of water from which one filled the chatty was 
replenished every day by a coolie, but was very likely 
to turn into an aquarium unless he was careful to 
empty out its contents from time to time. Then there 
were all sorts of harmless insects, such as millepedes, 
with whom one might just as well be friendly, as their 
society was unavoidable. It looked alarming to see 
the rat-snakes twisted in the rafters, but the natives 
never dreamed of killing them ; for all they could tell 
they might be their own grandfathers, as they could 
have no idea where the souls of those worthies had 
gone. Besides, every now and then an uproar in the 
ceiling demonstrated the usefulness of the rat-snakes 
in demolishing rats. Once a musk-rat had established 
himself honorary perfumer in a household one's sym- 
pathy with rodents was almost certain to decrease. 

One day a kabragoya came to visit the hens. I 
mentioned that I had seen a creature like a small 
crocodile go into the fowl- house, and the kabragoya 
must have wished that I had studied the maxim as 
to silence being golden, for a gun was immediately 
produced and he received several wounds ; but he 
walked off in the most unconcerned way, even after 
the top of his head had been shot off. One could not 
sorrow, as the hens were rejoicing, and a creature 
cannot suffer much after he has dropped his brains on 
to the garden path. 

The " Perahara " took place while I was at Batna- 
pura. Kandy would have been the best place in 
which to see this celebration, but similar ceremonies 
took place near Ratnapura, at some temples a short 
way from the town. 

We drove out in a hackery a miniature bullock- 

o 



210 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

cart. The large bullock-cart is called a bandy, and is 
drawn by two animals at a walk. The smaller cart, 
or hackery, has only one steed, which is forced to trot 
as fast as it can, the contrast being pitiful between 
the contemplative eyes and the short scuttling legs. 
When longing to browse in quiet pastures it must be 
most disturbing to be made to hammer along the hard 
high-road. When hoping to chew the cud in philo- 
sophic contemplation it must be galling to find a 
string put through the nose. Singhalese are con- 
sidered most expert bullock-drivers. They get most 
pace out of an animal because they are adepts at 
pinching and tickling and prodding its unfortunate 
back, to say nothing of twisting the sensitive tail till 
the end of it often snaps off. The Singhalese as a 
race seem very callous to suffering, and this uncompli- 
mentary opinion is confirmed by their history. Some 
of their rulers were disposed of by blood-curdling 
methods. Their love-charms and magic potions, be- 
sides being disgusting concoctions, in many cases 
entailed horrible torture to harmless creatures in 
order to complete the efficacy of the spells. Ob- 
servation of Singhalese driving did not tend to 
revive any belief in Singhalese tenderness of heart. 
If a bullock could choose his own driver he would 
undoubtedly prefer a Tamil, while his supreme good 
fortune would be to fall into Chinese hands. 

There were other more official, ostentatious ways of 
reaching the " dewale " (temple), but I petitioned for 
a hackery as being so appropriately Singhalese. I 
rather regretted my choice a few minutes after 
starting, for the charioteer was so obtrusive that 
he monopolised all one's thoughts. He looked very 
spruce in his white " comboy " and his white linen 
jacket, with a tortoiseshell comb bracing up his well- 



DICKOYA, RATNAPURA. 211 

greased hair. " Dah ! Dah ! " he shouted, as he 
flourished his stick and seized the bullock by the 
tail. 

I felt compelled to describe the law in force in 
the Malay Peninsula, by which tail -twisting is dis- 
allowed, though that was not the least the turn I 
wanted the conversation to take. I had all sorts of 
questions to ask, for though the name "Perahara" 
had been familiar to me as long as I could remem- 
ber, I had only vague notions as to the origin and 
meaning of the festival. So, as I noticed the plump 
prosperity and the leisurely waddle of that particular 
bullock, I resigned him to his driver. 

" What is the Perahara ? " I asked. 



212 



CHAPTER XVIII. 

RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE. 

"THE Perahara," said the Government Agent, "is a 
procession which dates from prehistoric times. It's 
believed to have been originally held in commem- 
oration of the birth of Vischnu in his character of 
Krishna, the Sun God. It is also said to be a festival 
of thanksgiving for lands granted by the Kandyan 
kings, and that the kings allowed a religious aspect 
to be given to it to please their Hindu wives." 

" But I thought the shrine of Buddha's tooth was 
carried in the procession at Kandy ? " 

"So it has been since 1775. Some Siamese priests 
were invited to Ceylon by King Kirti Sri. They 
were shocked to find that the Perahara was entirely 
in honour of Hindu gods. The king solved the 
difficulty by ordering the shrine of Buddha's tooth 
to be carried in the procession, only the shrine, you 
know. The tooth itself is too precious to be taken 
from the dagoba. It's supposed to be a miraculous 
representation of the original tooth, which the Portu- 
guese burnt at Goa." 

" Dah ! Dah ! " shouted the driver, thumping the 
bullock as we passed a long line of bandies crawling 
to the Perahara, and the air grew heavy with the 
scent of orange blossom and plumiera, the temple 



RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE. 213 

flower. We came to some palm-leaf huts which had 
been run up for the occasion, to combine the worship 
of Mammon with the honour done to Vischnu and 
Buddha. Half- naked salesmen had spread their 
wares sweetmeats and fruit and flowers. Quite 
naked children ran out to stare as our hackery 
stopped beside the " pandals " decorative arches 
most gracefully shaped out of slight bamboos, with 
areca-nut stems for columns. The fragile framework 
was hidden by feathery grasses and split palm 
leaves, while ivory plumes from the blossoming palms 
quivered above clusters of nuts and gilt oranges and 
pines, and trails of flowers and ferns wreathed a 
structure that might have led to a fairy palace. 

The Government Agent was used to such displays 
on his own account, for he was the ruler of a pro- 
vince with functions much the same as those of a 
Resident in the Malay Peninsula. When he went on 
his official tours, he was accustomed to be received 
in state the cynosure of the natives. 

" I always wish," he said, " that I could transport 
a pandal bodily to England. Wouldn't it give the 
Londoner a shock to compare it with his own ideas 
of decoration ? It doesn't seem right that I should be 
honoured by anything so beautiful while my sovereign 
is treated to nothing better than bunting." 

In defence of the Londoner, I objected that he did 
not possess the same ingredients. 

"That's true ; but he hasn't the fingers either." 

I thought of slim, supple hands writhing in the 
devil - dance, and agreed it was only natural that 
Singhalese handiwork should be artistic. 

On this occasion the pandals were in honour of the 
Perahara, and not in honour of the Government 
Agent. We passed under them to the temples a 



214 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Buddhist " vihara," with a Hindu "dewale" close 
beside it. One of them had been a Portuguese fort, 
and its chief item of interest was a fresco on the 
wall, which depicted a Portuguese knight killing a 
" Bandhara " who had slain a number of his 
countrymen. 

We climbed to the top of the Hindu temple and 
had a view of the river and trees, which were not 
what we had come to look at ; but a white-garmented 
Hindu priest politely but firmly declined to let us 
inspect the object of our ascent the venerated bow 
and arrows supposed to have been placed there by 
Rama. Rama, a prince of Oude, is believed to have 
been Vischnu in one of his many incarnations. He 
came to Lanka (Ceylon) to rescue his wife, Sita, from 
Ravaiia, the demon king of the island, and his 
weapons were evidently the bow and arrows now 
kept in a place of safety at the top of that Hindu 
temple. They would be brought out to take part in 
the procession, but no persuasions could obtain us a 
private view. So, by way of covering our repulse 
with dignity, we pretended that the scenery was all 
that we cared to see ; and after admiring it, de- 
scended to one of the huts, and feasted on cocoa-nut 
oil -cakes and jaggery, a brown sweet, rather like 
maple sugar, made from the toddy, or sap, of the 
palmyra palm. 

Our host was the Disawa, a kind-faced, benevolent 
old man, who ranks highest of all Singhalese digni- 
taries. Before he had half satisfied his instincts of 
hospitality the tom-toms struck up with terrific noise, 
and horns and pipes squealed shrilly to announce the 
arrival of the devil-dancers. They were hideous in 
grinning masks, which represented every imaginable 
malady. The demons of fever, ague, small - pox, 



RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE. 215 

cholera, writhed and twisted and contorted themselves, 
while patriarchal elephants flapped their ears and 
curled their trunks in lofty disregard of the demoniac 
antics. 

Presently a procession passed down the temple 
steps. The men were in white, and wore cloth chin- 
straps and red bands round their waists as outward 
and visible tokens of inward and spiritual purity. 
Four of them carried a palanquin, in which was 
nothing less than the sacred ark containing the bow 
and arrows. The procession passed over white cloths, 
and then the men and the palanquin were mounted 
up on the elephants. The men sat straddle-legged, 
and held umbrellas over the relics ; while one after 
another the elephants moved solemn and slow in a 
stately march round the temples. Torches were 
lighted, as it had grown dark, and the torn - torn 
beaters went mad, at least that was the only char- 
itable construction which could be put upon their 
musical efforts. The Government Agent nearly broke 
a blood-vessel trying to make us hear that it was time 
to go back to the Residency. 

This was only one of many noisy evenings, for the 
Perahara lasted a week and included all sorts of 
ceremonies. One wondered what filled the minds of 
the gaping multitudes. Was Brahma, the Creator, 
so high above their reach that they were left to 
tremble before Siva, the Destroyer, and rest their 
hopes on Vischnu, the Preserver ? But most of them 
were Buddhists, with Nirvana as their goal that 
eternal peace to follow at last, when, purged of all 
desire, the errant spirit may cease its round of trans- 
migration. But could any one ponder upon Nirvana 
while tom-toms were beaten and the devils danced ? 
There was nothing emblematic of any sort of peace 



216 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

in the ceremonials of the Perahara. Yet Prince 
Siddartha left a palace home, and braved opposition 
and insult to bring rest to doubting souls and freedom 
from degrading idolatry. He was a light to lighten 
the world, until about six centuries later the Light rose 
at Bethlehem, and showed how Nirvana the Kingdom 
of Heaven within the heart is only to be gained by 
union with an all -loving Creator Father. Buddha 
showed how salvation must be worked out alone. 
Christ leaves to His followers the promise of divine 
support and personal relationship with the Eternal. 

The Buddhist priests take no part in the Perahara, 
as it is really a Hindu festival ; but we passed one on 
the road as we returned to Ratnapura. In his yellow 
robes, with his shaven head and his palm-leaf fan, he 
might have been Mahindo, the royal missionary who 
was sent from India by his father, King Asoka, in 
307 B.C. to proselytise the people of Ceylon. As the 
moonlight fell on the priest we noticed that he stood 
under a mango tree, just as if he were really Mahindo. 
In the Mahawanso it is recorded that the princely 
priest, when he reached the island, sat himself down 
on a slab under a mango tree to deliver his expos- 
itions upon Buddha, the Enlightened One, upon 
Dharma, the Buddha's Law, and upon Sangha, the 
Communion of the Faithful. King Tissa, his queen 
Anula, and his subjects, all became converts ; and 
Mahindo' s sister, the Abbess Sanghamitta, was sent 
to Ceylon by her father, King Asoka, with a branch 
of the pipal, or sacred bo-tree, under which Buddha 
was believed to have attained to his Enlightenment. 
So the Singhalese embraced the faith which, though 
driven from India, where it had its origin, has spread 
over eastern Asia, and still numbers more adherents 
than any other creed, in spite of the superstitions 



RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE. 21*7 

and ceremonials that do so much to destroy the life- 
giving force of all religions. 

As our bullock waddled past the priest we looked 
back and beyond his yellow robes, back beyond the 
mango tree, we still saw the flicker of torches. 
Above the tom-toms rose a cry " Saadu," and around 
us all the sounds of the tropical night seemed uplifted 
in the " Holy ! holy ! holy ! " 

When I left Ratnapura I again travelled by coach. 
This time I took the precaution of sitting at the back, 
though it was unnecessary, as far as the horses were 
concerned, for they all behaved perfectly. We were 
on the Colombo road, and so the coach was probably 
not made so much use of as a means of breaking in 
untrained animals. 

For some way I had it to myself, and was able 
to gaze at the scenery without interruption. The 
villages were full of interest ; the thatched huts were 
always picturesque, and the brisk little women and 
the women-like men bought and sold with true Singh- 
alese vivacity. Babies straddled on their mothers' 
hips ; boys and girls, dressed in nothing but their skins, 
stared at the coach as it grazed by pariah dogs which 
seemed to do their utmost to commit suicide under it. 
Belaboured bullocks were always hard at work trotting 
between the shafts of hackeries, or slowly dragging 
heavy carts with thatched palm-tops, with a look of 
helpless impotence in their eyes as the drivers twisted 
their tails to accelerate their movements. We passed 
one or two elephants condescending to share in the 
day's toil in a stately, leisurely fashion, suitable to 
creatures probably centenarians. Here and there 
Tamil coolies mended the highway, singing a sort 
of song to the rhythm of which they slowly pounded 
the gravel. As we went through some jungle a wild 



218 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

boar dashed across the road. White padi birds 
stalked on long legs through the rice - fields, and 
mango birds, with yellow breasts, looked like splashes 
of concentrated sunshine. 

At Avisawella some Burghers joined the coach. 
Strictly speaking, the name should only apply to 
the descendants of the Dutch colonists, but the term 
is used more or less indiscriminately for the descend- 
ants of the Portuguese and for all half-castes in the 
island, most of whom are black - haired and dark- 
skinned, though a few are fair, with flaxen hair to 
prove the reality of their Dutch ancestry. They are 
generally very vivacious and talkative ; indeed, those 
particular ones on that particular coach did not allow 
a moment's breathing-space in their incessant flow of 
conversation. 

The coach took me straight to my destination in 
Colombo, thanks to my being " Government punya " 
still, owing to my new host's official status in the 
Government. His bungalow had every prospect that 
pleased in a way appropriate to the island. Steph- 
anotis and wax flowers clambered over the verandahs. 
Maidenhairs sprang out of cracks and crannies in the 
walls, bordered by luxuriant gold and silver ferns. 
The mere names of all that grew in the garden 
oleanders, pomegranates, eucharis lilies, gardenias, 
thunbergia, bougainvillea, poinsettia were feasts of 
sound, as the plants themselves were feasts of colour 
and perfume. And when day faded and night time 
came, round moon-flowers unfolded their white petals 
and stared skywards at the bright namesake whose 
silver radiance shimmered like a halo across the 
garden. 

But it was race week in Colombo, and that meant 
hard work race meetings, horse shows, dances, ilium- 



RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE. 219 

inations at Prince's Club, and fish tiffins at Mount 
Lavinia, to say nothing of the regulation drives to 
Galle Face, past Colombo Lake and Slave Island, 
where the labourers of the Cinnamon Gardens were 
made to live in the days of the Dutch administration. 

Galle Face was the orthodox finale to the evening 
drive. The Governor's wife and everybody else passed 
up and down in procession, and the sea breezes ruined 
the finery just fresh out from England. Only nowa- 
days everybody does not know everybody else, as 
they did in the time when Vereker Hamilton drew 
his illustrations of the Galle Face gatherings. Then 
Ceylon society was like a happy family living far 
away from the rest of the world. Now the rest of 
the world pours continually into the island. Globe- 
trotters rush through, and visitors come for a few 
months or even weeks. So numbers of people on 
Galle Face now stare askance at each other, as 
Colombo is not yet large enough to obviate the 
whole necessity of looking. 

The rickshaw drives home in the cool of the small 
hours were delightful finales to the dances, though 
the " spicy breezes " by the native huts were not by 
any means always desirable. But the cocoa-nut trees 
stood out dark against an illumined sky and moonlight 
glorified the water. The waves rolled landward with 
gleaming crests, and sang a song of the eastern night 
as they crashed below the palms. Like all eastern 
toilers they sang as they worked, and as an echo came 
the low crunch of the under tow as it tugged at the 
coral-reef. They sang their special lesson a psalm of 
toil unceasing ! Backwards and forwards they ebbed 
and flowed, with the particles of water circling through 
them like the blood that animates animal machinery. 
Their sphere was limited. They had not far to travel, 



220 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

for I looked in the encyclopaedia to make sure. A 
wave did not start from Australia and make its way 
to the Indian Ocean. Each wave stopped in its ap- 
pointed place and did its appointed work. Yet there 
was never monotony ; always perpetual variety, only 
that variety and all the charm and beauty were in the 
waves themselves. And so they read their parable 
that throughout Creation it is the inward, not the 
outward, influences that ennoble daily work. 

All the southern coast of Ceylon is bordered by 
groves of cocoa-nut trees, some upright, some bowed 
double, and some with a Grecian bend or a round- 
shouldered stoop. All are most luxuriant, and clothe 
the shore from Colombo to Galle, where I went next 
when the race-meeting gaieties had passed into the 
sphere of memories. 

The journey was by train, and was as hot as it was 
beautiful. All around were the cocoa - nut groves. 
Now and then came large lagoons, really the mouths 
of rivers emptying themselves into the sapphire ocean 
which sparkled in the burning sun. Vegetation 
covered the sands and pale convolvuli spread carpets 
at the feet of the cocoa-nut trees. 

According to an old legend, it was on this coast that 
these palms were first discovered. Kushta Raja, a 
leper king, had a vision in which he saw strange 
trees growing by the water-side, and Buddha's father 
appeared before him and told him that these were 
palms sacred to Buddha, and that if he journeyed a 
hundred miles to the coast he would find them and be 
cured of his leprosy after worshipping at the shrine of 
Buddha at Welligama, and living for three months on 
the fruit of the trees. The miracle was evidently 
accomplished, for the king's statue is said to be carved 
on the rock at Welligama in commemoration of his 



RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE. 221 

gratitude. The commercial enterprise of the Dutch 
is the prosaic explanation of the miles of cocoa-nut 
groves. Huts were hidden in the shadows, some- 
times built up round tree trunks ; and here and there 
a native climbed a stem with a strip of palm - leaf 
round his feet to help him in the ascent. 

When I reached Galle I was at one of the oldest 
trading ports in existence. King Solomon, the 
Emperor Haroun Alraschid, Queen Berenice, and 
many other notabilities are believed to have known 
of the place under different names, for it is sup- 
posed to have been the " Kalah " of the Arabians, 
the "Tarshish" mentioned in the Bible, and a 
general trading place for Arabians, Greeks, Persians, 
Egyptians, Phoenicians, and Chinese. For years it 
was the port of call for the mail steamers, and its 
treacherous little harbour was thronged by men-of- 
war. Soldiers garrisoned the fort which the Dutch 
built during their occupation, and military bands 
played on the crowded esplanade. But the glory 
has departed, and now Galle snoozes in oblivion, 
sinking in a slow decline, unique and beautiful even 
in death. 

The town is built on a peninsula, and on three 
sides the Indian Ocean washes the fortress walls. 
On the fourth a green esplanade stretches to the 
cocoa - nut groves that cover the mainland. The 
fort is now principally peopled by Burghers, and 
the grey buildings look as if they are dreaming of 
Dutch heroes of bygone days. Under the suriya 
trees a few Britishers still play tennis, while beyond 
the courts are the barracks, now quiet and desolate. 
Encompassing the streets are the green protective 
ramparts, where the sentry-boxes stand empty, and 
only the Indian Ocean is left to babble about stress 



222 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

of existence as the emerald waters lap the foot of 
the old Dutch fort. 

I stayed with an old lady as unique as the home 
she lived in. She belonged to a past generation, and 
yet was more modern than the most up-to-date. For 
years she had worked as a merchant ; she had kept 
her office hours, had managed her clerks and business, 
had owned her trading vessels, and her captains had 
scoured the seas. The first thing in the morning I 
found her arranging the flowers and looking to the 
ways of her household, none the less like King 
Solomon's ideal woman because she was a merchant 
who would ascend an office stool in another half-hour 
and discuss with a nautical man the profits made 
upon cargo and the payment of harbour dues. When 
the decline of Galle drove other traders out of the 
market this little old lady continued to prosecute 
business with undaunted energy. And so the com- 
merce done by the Sabeans, by the Egyptians under 
the Ptolemies, by the Chinese and the Phoenicians, 
was not allowed to die out altogether at Galle. The 
East and the West, the past and the present, were 
kept in touch by this daughter of Empire. 

One afternoon she took me to see a Singhalese lady 
whom I had known when I was a small child. Her 
father had been a Mudaliyar and had married her to 
a local dignitary. I could remember the day of the 
Singhalese wedding, when the flowers shook in the 
bride's hair as her attendants showered her with 
perfume. That was said to be an augury of good 
fortune, so it was cheering all these years after to 
witness its happy fulfilment and make sure of a 
superstition that really did come true. 

We had some way to drive home along a road 
where bullock-carts passed in procession, and on one 



RATNAPURA, COLOMBO, GALLE. 223 

side the sea waves beat on the sands. At the wells 
men emptied chatties of water over themselves, being 
spared any necessity to undress. The thatched huts 
made picturesque shops, and their contents added to 
the strange blend of Oriental odours, so obtrusive to 
an unseasoned nose. Between the long, lank stems 
of the cocoa-nut trees men moved like gnomes, and 
children vanished like elves among the shadows. A 
dense black cloud came sweeping over the palm-tops. 
It was only a company of crows in a hurry to go to 
bed. In the harbour a solitary tramp steamer was 
the sole representative of trade. Over the gateway 
of the fort a pale new moon gleamed on a sky that 
was all blue and golden, while the sun dropped 
towards the horizon a great, glowing fiery ball. 

I left the carriage and examined old Dutch tomb- 
stones in the Presbyterian church, and then mounted 
the ramparts with a bundle of letters, for the mail 
had just arrived. Before opening them I walked past 
the flagstaff and the lighthouse, and watched the sea 
turn crimson in the sunset and the grey buildings of 
the fort grow rosy, as if they were reflecting the 
scarlet blossoms of the flamboyants that blended 
their vivid brilliance with occasional dark palm-tops 
and the less dressy colouring of the suriya trees. 
Then I sat down on the ramparts and read by the 
blaze of the sunset 

" Benjamin is ordered to the war in China. 
Anemone goes with him and will need you, so 
start for Hong Kong immediately." 



224 



CHAPTER XIX. 

FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 

SUCH abrupt orders were startling, but the reason 
for them was evident. After being regaled with a 
choice account of Chinese atrocities Anemone felt 
she could not let Benjamin travel to the Celestial 
Empire except under her escort. My company was 
required, and as the transport would not call at 
Colombo I was to start at once for China and join 
it there. I found from further study of my letters 
that Joseph would be forewarned of my coming, and 
would meet me either in person or by proxy at 
Singapore. 

I had to bring all my visits to an abrupt conclu- 
sion and hurry to Colombo and make preparations 
to start. Dora seemed convinced that now, really 
and truly, nothing would remain of me except my 
ghost, everybody at that epoch of the Boxer rising 
looking upon China as a certain tomb for Europeans. 

I left Ceylon on the same P. and 0. liner which 
brought me there six months before, consequently 
the same chair and the same attentions were once 
more placed at my disposal. The passengers, of 
course, were all different. They now consisted 
almost entirely of officers ordered to the war in 
China. The Navy and the Guards, Cavalry, Engin- 



FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 225 

eers, Artillery, Infantry, and Indian Army all had 
representatives on board. 

They seemed rather nervous of me the first morn- 
ing as I lay on the captain's deck-chair and read a 
novel with rapt attention. But after tiffin a lady- 
killer came on deck. The cut of his clothes and the 
turn of his head at once proclaimed him such, just as 
the curve of his legs indicated the cavalry. The first 
time I looked up from my book he took off his hat 
and asked whether I had noticed the waterspouts. 
I condescended to look at three columns of clouds 
which were dodging us on the horizon, and then I 
mentioned that I could tell him to what branch of the 
service everybody belonged. Somehow the " mad, 
married, or Methodist," the " poor, proud, or preju- 
diced/' and all the rest of them are always recognis- 
able. After this conversation every one grew most 
friendly. The dapper little major had broken the ice 
one of the functions of lady-killers on a globe 
which moves so fast that one has no chance to probe 
through it at all unless one loses no time. 

The profession of arms did not seem to weigh very 
heavily on these warriors. They did not study tactics 
nor discourse upon military affairs, except one hot 
night when even on deck sleep deserted them, and 
they argued over General Baden-Powell's views upon 
scouting until the captain sent out to beg them to 
make less noise. An Intelligence Department book, 
with " strictly private " stamped inside it, was left 
about the deck for the promiscuous dissemination of 
military secrets. Otherwise, army topics were not in 
vogue. Pillow-fights were more popular, which was 
hardly to be wondered at, for, after all, most men are 
nothing more than magnified babies babies that cry 
for what they cannot get and do not want it when 



226 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

they have it a statement considered by Joseph too 
illogical to be worth refuting. 

There were drawbacks to having so many men on 
board. There was always such a crowd round the 
companion-way after dinner, and I was obliged to 
pace the deck in company, which, of course, was 
charming, but I should have liked some opportunity 
for a tete-a-tete with the elements. Nowhere is the 
Oriental endeavour to grasp after the absolute and 
the infinite so nearly attainable as on the great 
wilds of ocean, where sea and sky are the only 
prospect, with the glimmer of those other globes 
whose exploration may be possible once air - ships 
can be perfected and the earth's atmosphere carried 
in them by means of liquified air. 

Instead of realising myself to be an infinitesimal 
atom on a whirling planet rushing no one knows 
whither through space, my thoughts were kept to 
the more palpable reality of being a passenger 
bound for China, with ears to open to masculine 
confidences. So much has been spoken and written 
on the subject of Woman, but now that women 
move about and take notes for themselves they are 
deciding that there is quite as much subject-matter 
for the discussion of Man. His peculiarities may 
be more comprehensible, as centuries of domination 
have given them freer play. It may be easier to 
divide the genus into regular species, and no doubt 
the distinguishing characteristic is the love of im- 
parting instruction to the feminine gender, so that 
all women with a thirst for knowledge cannot dis- 
cover the species with which it is impossible to get 
on. In the matter of constancy the genus has, 
perhaps, been unfairly criticised. Constancy, like 
so much else, depends upon circumstances. Though 



FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 227 

the troubadour may have flirted occasionally while 
his lady-love spent his absence moaning and groan- 
ing at home, it is only fair to remember the provo- 
cations of the wandering troubadour ; whereas the 
lady-love probably led a provincial existence, and 
in its monotony perhaps found even lamentations a 
change. If constancy depends upon the receptivity 
of mental impressions, it seems quite as likely to 
be a masculine as a feminine attribute, with this 
difference, that a man's constancy is liable to be 
inadvertently swept away by the flutter of an eye- 
lash, or paralysed by throes of admiration for some 
pink finger-nail. Consequently, how else can one 
describe Man except as an overgrown baby ? After 
all, this should be his attraction to the mothers of 
the race. 

To my surprise there was no word from Joseph 
at either Penang or Singapore. At the latter 
place I decided to go ashore and consult my ac- 
quaintances. I accordingly landed, and found a 
Chinese rickshaw coolie in the grasp of a Sikh 
policeman, and as I wanted a rickshaw I ordered 
the policeman to unloose his prisoner there and 
then. To my surprise he obeyed, and gazed at me 
in awestruck amazement, while the coolie grovelled 
at my feet in an abject way quite unusual to a 
Chinese. 

" The Missie," announced the policeman, " has just 
set foot in the country and already has acquired 
the language." 

As he chose to make a statement I did not feel 
called upon to contradict it. It might be convenient 
to pose as an up-to-date magician, so I stepped into 
the rickshaw and told the coolie to "jaga baik baik" 
(take care). None of my friends were expecting me, 



228 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

nor did they know anything of Joseph, so I re- 
turned to the steamer and held a consultation with 
the captain, the P. and O. agent, and the lady-killer, 
who all decided that it would be better for me to 
go on to Hong Kong. I agreed ; and after an equa- 
torial night spent behind ports that were battened 
down on account of coaling, I felt thankful to go 
on anywhere, even into the China Sea and the 
prospect of typhoons. 

" This is the oily calm that precedes a typhoon," 
said the lady - killer with apprehension. Not a 
ripple was to be seen, and the water looked as if 
it were greased. We were pursuing a typhoon as 
a matter of fact, but as it only gave us the benefit 
of the calm we had nothing to grumble at. 

There was a cloudy sky when we reached our 
destination. Hong Kong was looking pale. Like 
many pretty women her appearance depends a good 
deal upon her colouring. But variable looks add 
fascination to places and people. It is much more 
interesting never to be quite certain of what one 
may expect. 

We flocked ashore and watched polo. The square- 
backed China ponies were more ungainly than ever 
by contrast with the rocking-horse Arabs, on which 
a war-bound Maharaja and his followers were tak- 
ing part in the game. 

When my fellow - travellers returned to their 
steamer, and I found myself alone at the hotel, I 
suddenly became oppressed by the heat and noise 
of Hong Kong. The Government had just for- 
bidden a Chinese procession for fear it might cause 
a riot. The people were angry about it, and the 
sampans had all been seen to go the same way, 
which was a very bad sign, it was said. I was told 



FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 229 

that there might even be a rising that night, but 
I was so tired that I did not mind in the least 
who rose, provided I did not. In the end nothing 
happened, partly, perhaps, because it rained, and, 
with the exception of the Dowager - Empress, the 
inhabitants of China dislike nothing so much as 
getting wet. 

My friends at the Peak invited me to stay with 
them, but I naturally imagined that a transport 
carrying troops to the front would be in a tre- 
mendous hurry, and that I should be left behind 
unless I was ready to embark the moment the vessel 
arrived. Consequently I felt bound to remain at 
the Hong Kong Hotel, where some of the inmates, 
particularly the Maharaja, seemed to be very inter- 
ested in wondering who I was. A Chinese tailor 
was so touched by my loneliness that he followed 
me into my room and insisted on taking my 
measurements, though I protested that I had no 
money to spare for clothes. I need only pay for 
the material, he assured me, any work entailed 
would be a pleasure ; and so, for the equivalent of 
about 1, 10s., I had a charming little tussor silk 
costume that might have come from a Paris shop. 
And yet the Chinese are described as unsympathetic. 
Would an English tradesman have disregarded his 
profits simply because he knew how much better a 
young woman could support trials if ready equipped 
for them in a pretty new frock ? 

A day or two after I reached Hong Kong 
Count von Waldersee arrived to command the allied 
forces. The goat of the Welch Fusiliers gave him 
a most rude reception, and came within an ace of 
butting him off the bund. The streets were filled 
with baggy -breeched Zouaves and Germans in bil- 



230 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

ious khaki. It was reported that the French and 
Russians had decided to take Hong Kong within 
the year. Several of the residents had gone north 
on looting purposes ; otherwise Hong Kong society 
went its placid way, and bathing was the order of 
each afternoon. 

At last one morning I awakened to the knowledge 
that the transport had entered the harbour. I got 
up, dressed in a hurry, and had just finished when 
a knock came at my door. 

" Is that you, Benjamin ? Come in," I cried. 

The door opened and in walked Joseph. 

Joseph and I always get on well, because we lose 
our tempers alternately and never at the same time, 
so that our disputes are too lop-sided to flourish. On 
this occasion Joseph looked provokingly bland, and 
niy annoyance had its innings. For one thing, I was 
so surprised to see him that I had no time for self- 
control. 

" I suppose you've come a special trip to Hong 
Kong to apologise ? " I suggested. 

Joseph scouted the idea, and wanted to know why 
I had not waited for him at Singapore. That was so 
like him. He certainly gave me credit for a good deal 
of intelligence, as he expected me to know his move- 
ments without telling me anything at all. He ex- 
plained that he was so busy getting to Singapore 
that it left him no time to make a statement on 
the subject, and that the most natural thing for me 
would have been to have waited on the chance. 

" On the chance ! " I interrupted. " It certainly 
would have been on the chance," arid I gently re- 
minded Joseph of some of my Malay travels. How- 
ever, the main thing was to find out what he was 
doing in Hong Kong. He explained that he had 



FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 231 

considerately taken leave so that we might make 
up a family party, and, as a secondary reason, with 
a view to seeing Japan. By degrees I discovered 
that visitors to Japan were also interesting him. 
So many Americans went there, he understood ; I 
had said so much about the charm of American 
women ; his household had seemed rather dull since 
I left. Altogether, I began to grow nervous : if 
Joseph went wife -hunting I felt sure it would in- 
volve me in great responsibilities. Fortunately, for 
the time being, there were plenty of others to share 
them. Not only were Benjamin and Anemone on 
board the transport, but one of Anemone's brothers 
was there too on his way to join the China Field 
Force, and another of her brothers was somewhere in 
the same latitudes as midshipman on board a battle- 
ship. The captain of the transport suggested that 
we should have to charter the China Sea for private 
navigation if our family connections continued to 
increase. 

Race meetings and subsequent travels had over- 
worked my mended member considerably, and I had 
to be carried on board on a long chair, to the in- 
tense amusement of the China boys and the satis- 
faction of the hotel inmates, who now felt sure of 
my identity, and described me to the Maharaja as 
a wounded refugee from Tientsin. 

To my surprise the steamer did not leave port 
for some time. The troops on board had originally 
been intended for the relief of the Peking Legations, 
consequently the military authorities had chartered 
the slowest vessel discoverable to carry them, re- 
gardless of the fact that she would also have to 
wait to unload cargo at every port. Needless to 
say, the Legations had been relieved without the 



232 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

help of anybody on board ; and still the poor old 
vessel lingered in Hong Kong harbour, with the 
donkey-engine deafening us night and day. 

It was just the same in Shanghai. Indeed, we 
grew so accustomed to being in port that we almost 
forgot we should ever need to go on ; and Benjamin, 
Anemone, and I were lunching on board a British 
cruiser when suddenly we heard the old transport 
whistling for us in an agonised way. At her rate 
of speed it did not seem to matter much whether 
she started without us, as we thought a boat -load 
of bluejackets could chase her with the utmost suc- 
cess. However, Benjamin would not let us risk it, 
so we clambered on board as the anchor was weighed, 
and the vessel steamed seaward, with the warships 
of all nations to our port and starboard all the 
way. It was a review of the fleets of the world, 
and we grew to know their national idiosyncrasies. 
Elongated funnels were the distinguishing character- 
istics of most of the American boats. From most of 
the French ones trousers fluttered like pennants : the 
men-of-war did the duty of suburban back-yards and 
enjoyed a drying-day. We recognised the Japanese 
as looking most like our own vessels ; while in con- 
trast to them were the Chinese war -junks, with 
ornamented sterns, large eyes in the bows, and guns 
popped about on strange little decks where children 
made themselves evident. 

Joseph left us at Shanghai and went straight to 
Japan ; but as I was commissioned to attend upon 
Anemone, I had to decline his suggestion that I 
should accompany him. 

The transport left Shanghai on the 1st of October, 
and as we went north the atmosphere more and 
more filled us with the joy of life. The air was 



FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 233 

properly iced; the sunshine warmed sufficiently. 
The sea joined in our exhilaration, and great waves 
romped in our wake. On our beam rose the gaunt 
hills of China, a distinct purple outline, with the 
blue sky above them and the blue waters below. 
Had our dearest friends turned against us I doubt 
whether it would have distressed us just then. 
Worry felt blotted from the universe ; mere existence 
was a delight. Even the soldiers left off singing 

" Why did I leave my little back room 
In Bloomsbury 1 " 

which had been their melancholy refrain up till 
then. 

After rounding the Shantung promontory we 
steered west for Wei-hai-Wei. As the interminable 
journey was really ending the men were made to 
parade in full service kit. They looked rather like 
yellow beetles ; while the officers were hung over 
with so many campaigning requisites that Anemone 
mistook Benjamin for a Christmas-tree. 

Early in the morning we entered Wei-hai-Wei 
harbour. The sky was saffron-coloured and the sea 
pea -green. North and south stretched the hills, 
terraced in places for purposes of cultivation, other- 
wise bare of vegetation except a few patches of 
scrub. At first we hardly noticed Wei-hai-Wei, a 
little walled-in Chinese town on the mainland. The 
island, Liu-Kung-tau, seemed the all-important place. 
We looked out on houses which were mostly white- 
walled and slate - roofed. General Dorward, the 
British Commissioner, had taken up his residence in 
the most picturesque building the Chinese Naval 
Reception Yamen of former days. Close to the 
shore stood the white tents of the Hospital Camp. 



234 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

On the top of Centurion Hill, 500 feet high, there 
was a glimpse of a fort for at that time it was 
intended to fortify the island ; and no doubt, if 
intentions could create fortifications, we should have 
had an excellent naval base. 

Directly the transport had anchored the officers 
were rowed ashore to report themselves. They re- 
turned with the latest intelligence how the Japanese 
troops surpassed all the others, and how the Russians 
said they preferred French women to French soldiers. 
The opinion of the French in regard to their Allies 
was to be expressed later on. There was much talk 
too of the doings of H.M.S. Pigmy, the little gunboat 
which had taken the forts at Shan-hai-kwan. The 
Russians had hauled down the British flag, and the 
British captain had wished to address them politely 
on the subject, but the British general roared, " Up 
with it again in ten minutes OR" and the "or" 
was so terrible that up went the Union Jack again in 
that limit of time, and as no war correspondents were 
present the general public was spared the anxiety of 
knowing how that for the space of ten minutes the 
Russian Bear and the British Lion showed their teeth 
all ready for war. 

On the afternoon of our arrival Anemone and I 
went on shore, and visited several of the ladies 
quartered on Liu-Kung-tau. Some of them told us 
they had been reduced to washing in soda-water 
during the Boxer scare. Anemone only said, " How 
extravagant," which I was sure was not an appropriate 
remark. In the evening we climbed to the top of 
Centurion Hill, and had a good view over the main- 
land and the 300 square miles of hills and valleys 
which at that time formed British territory. 

On another of the many days which we spent in 



FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 235 

Wei-hai-Wei harbour we paid a visit to the coast. As 
we were rowed ashore we saw two Chinese sailors 
leisurely hoisted to the top-mast on the yard-arm of 
a junk. It was quite a pleasant surprise to find that 
even seamanship could be undertaken in a comfortable 
way. New barracks for the Chinese regiment were 
being built on shore. We saw a British Tommy and 
a Chinese sergeant drilling a new recruit. The recruit 
seemed very much interested, which was not to be 
wondered at, as the sergeant had drilled his own figure 
into the most marvellous straight-fronted corset effect. 
His self-complaisance and swagger must have quite 
startled his countrymen, who have always been accus- 
tomed to despise the military. In the past they hardly 
ranked soldiers above barbers and tailors, who can 
never aspire to becoming mandarins. That dignity is 
open to almost all other men in China, though a few 
more are debarred, such as actors and chiropodists. 
If the coolie that unloads a vessel could manage to 
let his son study and pass the examinations, the son 
would, as one of the " literati," be entitled to hold 
office as mandarin. It would not follow that he could 
get an appointment, and, if he did not, his relations 
would have to support him or leave him to starve, as, 
having attained through learning the highest grade 
of Chinese society, he must not demean himself by 
manual work. Consequently it may be simpler and 
more profitable to remain a coolie and unload ships. 
But no learning could assist the ambitions of a barber. 
His employment is considered derogatory, because he 
stands while all men sit. In the same way a tailor's 
erudition would be useless. He is despised because 
he does women's work. This explanation annoyed 
Anemone, who is very clever with her needle. 

" I should have thought that tailoring proves that 



236 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

women's work is most important of all," she said. 
" Think of shop windows in London and Paris. Any 
one would suppose from those that women make up 
the world. Just imagine, too, landing in China if 
nobody knew how to make clothes ! " 

We were told that the Chinese regiment had grown 
very popular since the soldiers had discovered that 
they were paid their wages without even the deduc- 
tion of " squeeze." Those that went to the front did 
excellently, and judging by the pains he took over his 
drill, the new recruit meant to emulate his brothers 
in arms. It seems sad to think the parades were to 
end so soon, and that the straight-fronted sergeant 
can no longer swagger in uniform. 

The natives of Wei-hai-Wei were darker com- 
plexioned and had more rugged faces than the plump 
Cantonese. We wandered past some of their houses, 
and were depressed by seeing a number of caged larks. 
I observed that I thought anything so unnatural as 
the caging of winged creatures should be put a stop 
to by international law. Not only were the prime 
donne imprisoned, but we came upon a 'cellist in 
durance vile. We found a cricket in a tiny cage, still 
conscientiously rubbing his wings together and so pro- 
ducing the ceaseless chirrup that makes the summer 
music of sunny lands. Indeed he seemed so intent on 
his playing that Anemone thought he scorned cap- 
tivity, and that he might just as well practise behind 
bars as anywhere else. As Chinese often take their 
caged birds out for walks to give them air and sun- 
shine, they certainly have not so much to complain of 
as feathered captives in other lands. 

We thought we had really seen the last of the 
troops, but that day, when we returned on board, 
there they were just the same as when we had left 



FROM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 237 

them. In fact there seemed no particular probability 
that they would ever leave, although the Admiralty 
would have to pay 100 a day for the further deten- 
tion of the vessel. Benjamin thought it a pity no 
Radical M.P. was with us, for he would have found it 
so exhilarating to have at last discovered an accurate 
reason for the increase in the national expenditure. 
After two years of British occupation there were no 
facilities for trans-shipping at Wei-hai-Wei. The blue- 
jackets helped to take off the great timber planks 
which we had brought up for the construction of the 
new pier ; and they also removed sixty Ordnance Sikhs 
who otherwise seemed doomed to remain on the trans- 
port for life. We watched them squeezed into the 
boat like tinned anchovies, while the sailors tossed 
oars in the vain hope of making room. Somehow they 
succeeded in taking them off, but still the British 
Tommies remained. However, next day a lighter was 
brought alongside for their removal, but the ardour 
with which they received it was a little damped by 
hearing that it had a tendency to sink. Indeed the 
last rat was seen to leave it and hurry on board 
the transport. 

There was another long pause after the arrival of 
the lighter, while the dredger was alternately com- 
manded, threatened, and implored to come to the 
rescue and tow it away. Wei-hai bay could not be 
of much use as a harbour until the deep-water area 
was increased, so the great dredger had been brought 
there for that purpose, but certainly since the arrival 
of troops she had not had a moment to see about 
mud. She was the general servant the overworked 
"slavey"- of the harbour; and we used to hear her 
being whistled for in opposite directions in the most 
bewildering way. Long afterwards, when Anemone 



238 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

and I heard that the Government had abandoned all 
idea of making Wei-hai-Wei a naval base, we both 
heaved sighs of relief in spite of patriotic regrets. 
We could not help thinking of the dredger and her 
well-earned repose. We wonder does she recline on 
the shore by the little walled city and dream of the 
mud kept waiting while she answered the frantic 
summons of vessels in Wei-hai bay ? We could 
hardly believe our eyes when she at last towed the 
troops away on the lighter. Benjamin was to remain 
till the last moment, as the captain had promised him 
the use of his gig. The soldiers boarded the other 
transport in safety, but the dredger had no time to 
bring the lighter back. Two little tugs undertook 
the task, and brought it round our transport with so 
much way on that it broke loose, and the tide washed 
it back to its starting-place. Then the tugs adopted 
different tactics, and towed the lighter so slowly that 
it remained for an hour fast stuck under our stern. 
At last it lay alongside, and the horses were slung 
on to it. This had just been done when it was discov- 
ered that no order for trans-shipping the horses had 
been received as yet. There was consternation on 
board. It was almost decided to bring the horses 
back again. However, they were left where they 
were on the lighter, with a syce squatting at each 
animal's nose. 

Presently a message came from the other transport 
that she might manage to sail that night if the horses 
were trans-shipped at once. The general tore his hair, 
and altogether rumpled his charming, benign appear- 
ance. " Oh dear ! dear ! dear ! Oh la ! la ! la ! This 
is a show ! This is a show ! We'll be stuck for ever 
in Wee-hee-Wee" (as he insisted upon pronouncing 
it). " Now, if I were the colonel of a cavalry regi- 



FKOM COLOMBO VIA HONG KONG TO WEI-HAI-WEI. 239 

ment, I'd have those horses on board the other boat 
in ten minutes." 

As the dredger was at the other end of the bay 
Anemone and I felt doubtful about it. It was also 
a puzzle to our unsophisticated minds why a cavalry 
colonel should be allowed greater responsibility than 
a general. 

" Used you not to think," Anemone asked me, 
" that men were marvels to be able to conduct 
campaigns and manage transport and commissariat 
and all the rest of it ? " 

" I used to think so," I said. 

; 'But do you think so now?" she persisted, while 
a bored horse on the lighter neighed. 

' Well ! " I said faintly, " when one is in the midst 
of it it it really seems quite simple chiefly con- 
fusion one -one almost feels 

Anemone finished the sentence in a whisper, " One 
feels one could do it oneself." 

Then we walked to opposite sides of the deck in a 
state of depression, for this was not a topic on which 
we wished to agree. Nothing is so conducive to 
melancholy in a woman as having to lower her ideal 
of masculine all - sufficiency in even the minutest 
degree. However, we took comfort in accepting the 
captain's invitation to go for a row in his gig. 

It was night-time now, and a light breeze ruffled 
the indigo waters. Lights twinkled from the 
steamers and from the island, and H.M.S. Terrible 
loomed distinct in the starlight as guardian of the 
bay. When we rowed back to our vessel we found 
the same forlorn company on board the lighter, only 
a little fire now burned in front of each horse's nose. 
Over each fire crouched a shivering bundle in a 
blanket. Every now and then the animals kicked 



240 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

each other, whereupon the bundles unwrapped them- 
selves and emitted a volley of raucous grunts. 

It was the afternoon of the next day before the 
correct orders were received and the dredger was 
available. When the horses were towed away 
Benjamin said good-bye for the last time. Soon after 
his transport slipped away to Taku ; ours a transport 
no longer, but merely an intermediate steamer 
steamed east and south for Japan. The sunset 
crimsoned the waters, and our thoughts were filled 
with " wars and rumours of wars." Would the blood 
of the nations of Europe ever stain that sea the same 
gory colour ? " Who knows ? " we said to each other. 
" Perhaps Europe won't have much say in the matter. 
It's the Yellow Sea, and the people on its coasts are 
yellow ; perhaps they'll keep its history yellow as 
well." 

We did not guess that our words were likely to be 
prophetic. Anemone only knew that she felt sea- 
sick, which I thought remarkable, considering she 
had lived on board for over two months. 

" Benjamin was here before," she reminded me. 

I acknowledged that this was a lucid explanation. 
Health is always so dependent upon company. Under 
the circumstances, Anemone continued sea-sick until 
we sighted Japan. 



241 



CHAPTEE XX. 

JAPAN. 

EARLY one morning I opened startled eyes to behold 
a small Japanese head bobbing up and down in my 
cabin doorway. I understood that this was the 
modernised form of the ancient, lengthy, doubled-over 
Japanese bow, but that did not seem to make its 
intrusion into my cabin any more allowable. In any 
case, my recumbent position on a bunk necessitated 
my returning the salutation very stiffly. But my 
acknowledgment, such as it was, seemed to satisfy 
the head, which promptly vanished through the 
curtains, and Mrs Trout, the stewardess, appeared in 
its place to tell me that Nagasaki was reached and 
that I had been medically examined. 

After we had dressed Anemone and I spent an 
hour taking snapshots through the port - holes for 
no other reason that we could make out than that 
promiscuous photography was forbidden at Nagasaki. 
We had bought a kodak in Shanghai, but, fortunately, 
we did not take it ashore, for as we landed we had 
an object-lesson in what it means to break Japanese 
regulations. A German from another steamer stepped 
out of a boat with a camera. A small Japanese 
relieved him of it with the utmost politeness, and 
then smashed it into atoms, all the while smiling 

Q 



242 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

benevolently. Any one might have fancied that the 
Japanese official really imagined that the German 
had brought the camera ashore for the purpose of 
getting some one to break it. " No trouble at all. 
Don't mention it," he appeared to assure the irate 
Teuton, as Anemone and I, growing nervous, ordered 
our rickshaw coolies to take us to Moji. 

It is sad to relate that the smells of Japan were 
what first impressed Anemone. As she rickshawed 
through Moji with her handkerchief to her nose, I 
advised her to find consolation in reflecting that she 
was indulging in antiques which, owing to the Chair 
of Sanitary Engineering, would soon be debarred to 
all modern nostrils. 

The weather was still warm in southerly Kiushiu, 
and the natives were able to be economical with 
their clothes. This was also a trial to Anemone. It 
seemed an anomaly, she thought, in a nation so en- 
thusiastic about adopting top-hats and frock-coats. 

We spent several days in port owing to cargo, and 
grew to know something of Nagasaki. We pictured 
the Portuguese when they had jurisdiction there in 
the sixteenth century, and before our minds' eyes the 
Buddhist temples were once more pulled down, and 
Christian churches built on their sites, for the Naga- 
saki of those days had adopted the teaching of the 
Jesuit missionaries, and Christians were numbered 
by thousands all over Japan. Then, as we thought 
of the awful persecutions that followed, we shuddered 
as we explored streets of quaint little buildings, where 
smiling inhabitants looked as if they only played at 
keeping shop. Yet it was through such houses that 
the Inquisitors had gone on their blood - curdling 
errands, causing the inmates to trample the Cross 
under foot, or else suffer the most excruciating tor- 



JAPAN. 243 

tures before laying down their lives. At Nagasaki, 
while all the rest of Japan was sealed up to the 
world, for two and a half centuries the Dutch were 
allowed a settlement for purposes of trade. And 
round Nagasaki the Christian faith was secretly 
transmitted from generation to generation, until, in 
1865, it was discovered that Christians were still 
numbered by thousands in the villages of Kiushiu. 

The only religious ceremonies which Anemone and 
I witnessed seemed so festive that we were just going 
to offer our felicitations when somebody mentioned 
that a funeral was taking place. Any one wanting 
lively obsequies should certainly arrange to die in 
Japan. Anemone and I nearly did so, though under 
circumstances which would have prevented any one 
from honouring us with mourning rites. Our demise 
nearly came to pass in this way. We left Nagasaki 
one lovely evening. There was a curious mirage 
across the waters, which made the clouds look like 
islands and the islands like clouds. Even scenery 
seems to have fits of pretending to be something a 
little different from what it really is. At daybreak 
next morning Mrs Trout appeared in my cabin. 

" The Straits of Shimonoseki. The captain's com- 
pliments," she announced, as though she were intro- 
ducing the Straits to the compliments. 

I put my winter coat over my kimono and woke 
up Anemone. But she scorned both Shimonoseki and 
the captain's message, though I reminded her of the 
historical importance of the first. 

" Don't you remember it was here the Taira war- 
junks were defeated by the Minamoto ? It was 
Shimonoseki, too, that the Treaty Powers bom- 
barded " 

But Anemone gave me clearly to understand that 



244 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

only through the port-holes would she study recol- 
lections of the Middle Ages and the nineteenth 
century. So I went up on deck, with Mrs Trout as 
my chaperon. It was a foggy morning, and at first 
we could see nothing except a faint outline of cliff. 
Then, as the sun rose, its beams burst through the 
greyness, and on the hillsides illuminated the words 
" Tan San." Shades of the drowned Emperor Antoku 
and his grandmother do you ever study the merits 
of that mineral water, and approve of the advertise- 
ments of New Japan ? 

The mists soon cleared, and gave us a view of a 
Japanese steamer which was wobbling towards us in 
the most erratic way. Suddenly we were conscious 
that our own vessel had stopped. At the same 
moment the doctor appeared on deck in his pyjamas, 
and the Japanese steamer shot straight across our 
bows. I knew that the steamer had no business to 
be in such close proximity ; but just the same might 
have been said of the pyjamas, and it was their 
presence that perturbed me most. 

" Did you see that ? Did you see that ? " shouted 
the fourth officer, rushing past us. " Only a hair's- 
breadth nearer and we should have been run 
down. " 

There were loud imprecations from the bridge of 
our vessel ; and on the bridge of the Japanese steamer 
the Japanese captain smiled the smile of Japan and 
bowed. He continued to zigzag towards the "Hong 
Kong Maru" behind us, and we went on our way, 
rejoicing that we had escaped being run down by the 
Japanese. 

" We should have been," said the captain at break- 
fast, " if I hadn't forestalled the arrangement by 
stopping engines." He went on to explain that 



JAPAN. 245 

nothing could have saved us had we gone down in 
the rapid waters of the Straits. As we had made 
good our escape it was satisfactory to find that the 
danger had really been thrilling ; but it rather spoilt 
heroics to remember that, had we taken that short 
passage into the next world, pyjamas would have 
absorbed my attention en route. 

All day long we passed between stiff little islands 
covered with stiff little trees, and stiff-legged birds 
flew across a greeny-blue sky in the stiff- winged way 
they fly across screens and kakemonos. Anemone 
said she would be certain to adopt a stiff little toddle 
and a stiff little stoop if she remained in the Inland 
Sea for longer than a day. But while the sun was 
setting we passed out through the Straits of Kur- 
usima, and the splendour of that evening seemed to 
blazon all the glories of the Old and New Japan. 
The west was gold and crimson, and north and south 
and east the sky was tinted blue and mauve and grey. 
Across the sea stretched patches of green, like lawns 
in an English garden ; while here and there pools 
were deep red, like blood stains ; and beyond, as far 
as the shelving shore-line, the waves gleamed with 
the soft iridescence of a flooring of mother-of-pearl. 
Then Japan pulled down the grey veil of twilight, 
and all night long our vessel plodded through dark- 
ened waters, till Kobe and the next morning were 
reached at the same time. 

It was almost a shock to find that we were expected 
to leave the steamer at Kobe. Anemone had lived 
on board for so long that she had begun to imagine 
she had taken up her residence there for life. We 
felt distinctly depressed as we sat on the " hatoba " 
(landing - stage), and watched the customs' officials 
examine the twenty-one packages which I had been 



246 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

counting diligently, while Anemone looked on with 
an air of superiority because I had eleven possessions 
while she had only ten. Just as the official had 
reached the intricacies of my guitar - case and 
Anemone's sewing-machine, a minute policeman on 
the roadway suddenly punched the head of a rickshaw 
coolie, and in so doing relieved our feelings more than 
his own, for he beamed and smiled the whole time. 
He was not the least annoyed about anything. He 
simply chastised the coolie because it was for his good. 
For all we could tell, the man might have erred in 
one of the five moral Confucian relationships, or 
sinned against the spirit of Bushido, for the policeman 
was probably a descendant of the Samurai, and felt 
it his duty to inculcate the " Military Knight Ways." 
In any case we felt the coolie's behaviour was likely 
to be exemplary after his punishment, so we engaged 
him to take us to the hotel. 

We thought of making our headquarters at Kobe, 
where we almost expected to find Joseph ; but he had 
gone on to Kyoto and Nikko, after having indulged 
his Irish love of a " shindy" by appearing in the 
law courts. He had disagreed, it seemed, with the 
charges made by a rickshaw coolie. 

" Never mind. Pay what he asks," said the 
cautious British residents. " A coolie will prosecute 
you as soon as look at you since the doing away of 
the Treaty Ports." 

Joseph forestalled being prosecuted by having the 
coolie arrested. The case was tried, and given in 
Joseph's favour, and he departed supremely contented 
at having probed Japanese equity to its very roots. 

Anemone and I found several drawbacks to remain- 
ing at Kobe. To begin with, the hotel charges were 
high. To continue, a volley of stones was sent one 



JAPAN. 24*7 

day through the window at tiffin time. It was care- 
fully explained that the sentiment they carried was 
an ti- German, that the alarming attention was only 
intended for the Teutonic proprietor of the hotel. 
Apparently German innkeepers and waiters were not 
to be allowed to make " ubique " their motto through- 
out Japan. All the same, Anemone did not think the 
explanation gave any better flavour to broken glass 
served with the vegetables, although the Japanese 
waiter unfolded his history by way of diverting our 
attention, and it was a sufficiently remarkable life- 
story to be able to do that. 

He had served in the United States navy and 
then on Japanese transports. He was at Port 
Arthur when it was first captured from the Chinese, 
and he then went to China as a spy. We inquired 
what disguise he wore. " English missionary," he 
answered, as though that were the most natural and 
appropriate. We were not so surprised in future 
when we heard that the Celestials considered that 
the missionaries' doctrines were sometimes very mixed 
and strange. The Chinese once suspected him, but 
his life was saved by his being able to show English 
letters tatooed on his chest. But he had to stand 
by and see a compatriot carried to the place of 
execution on bamboos run through his hands and 
feet. 

Anemone and I could bear no more, and were glad 
to go out and shop. As we walked through the 
streets a little old man in a grey kimono appeared 
to follow us. He wandered along in an aimless 
way, and whenever we looked at him he directed 
a vacant gaze at the sky. Our minds still ran 
upon spies, and Anemone at once decided that he 
was one. 



248 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

" That settles it," she announced. " He thinks we're 
here for good. We'll just give him the slip." 

And so it came to pass that the next day found us 
and our twenty -one packages on board a Japanese 
boat, though Anemone almost changed her mind about 
going at the last moment, for a little old man in grey 
kimono gazed seaward as we left the " hatoba." 

The Japanese vessel had every modern appliance. 
She was one of a line which ran between China and 
Japan. She had all sorts of spacious apartments off 
her decks, and high-sounding titles announced their 
purposes. The passengers were mostly Oriental, and 
left Anemone and me the exclusive use of the " Social 
Hall." There were a number of rules on board. They 
were printed in English in all the cabins. I looked 
through them to see which I should need to break 
first, and found the surprising disclosure that all 
lights were put out at nine o'clock. The Japanese 
evidently believed in beauty - sleep, and we even 
snatched some extra moments by slumbering after 
dinner on the hurricane - deck. It was an awful 
moment when we awoke and saw that it was five 
minutes to nine. In three hundred seconds we should 
find ourselves in the dark. We tumbled down the 
companion, tore oif our clothes, and scrambled into 
our bunks as two bells sounded. When we woke 
up at three in the morning the electric light was 
still full on, and the rules stared at us in the face 
perfectly unabashed. After all, they had been very 
efficacious as threats. At six the decks were washed 
down with so much prodigality that we almost had 
to swim to our baths. However, a little bowing, 
smiling person in a kimono came to our assistance. 
We had great difficulty to keep from calling her 
"geisha" instead of stewardess, for, as Anemone and 



JAPAN. 249 

I agreed, she must surely have had professional 
lessons in smiling. Anemone did not believe that 
by nature any one's spirits could remain perpetually 
at beaming - point. However, in Japan custom de- 
crees that they should, and gloom and irritability 
are tabooed as unfashionable. 

At Yokohama we received a letter from Joseph. 
He wrote from Myanoshita and begged us to join 
him at once. We had no notion how to get there, 
so we applied to a policeman, who was quite equal 
to us and our twenty-one packages, and piloted us 
all to the station. 

Instead of resting I had taken vigorous exercise at 
all the ports, and had even explored the conning- 
tower and the fighting -tops of a German cruiser at 
Nagasaki. By the time we reached Yokohama station 
I could only shuffle along in Japanese sandals with 
the greatest difficulty. With the wonderful thought 
and consideration of his nation, a fellow-traveller in 
a blue kimono came up and offered me his arm, at 
the same time ordering a red-capped porter to walk 
behind me and hold up my dress. As we progressed 
down the platform Anemone seemed intent on rival- 
ling the risible faculties of Japan. 

In the carriage with us travelled two Japanese 
gentlemen, evidently of the old school. They wore 
grey kimonos, and smoked queer pipes which required 
a great deal of attention, as after every three whiffs 
the tobacco needed to be renewed. They studied a 
Japanese paper, which no doubt was essentially 
modern, but they shook their heads solemnly over it 
from time to time. As we sat meekly opposite these 
old worthies we realised the wonder of the lightning 
change which has taken place in Japan. Before us 
were individuals who had been brought up in the 



250 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GUISELDA. 

feudal system, and we were able to watch them 
study the news of the world inside a railway train. 
Outside were odd little hills that looked as if 
they had once been islands, while the valleys were 
shaped like inlets and bays. The hills were charm- 
ingly wooded, and little wooden buildings like dolls' 
houses peeped here and there through the trees. 
Then we passed through flat rice-fields with narrow 
roads running across them, and finally darkness closed 
in as we reached Kodzu, where we changed to an 
electric tram. This mode of progression was disap- 
pointing. It was so modern and unoriental, but when 
we were turned out at the village of Yumoto we felt 
that the methods of the Occident were riot to be de- 
spised. We were very tired, and our one desire was to 
reach the end of our journey : instead of seeing much 
prospect of that, our attention was drawn to a young 
woman standing in a doorway, apparently practising 
a breathing exercise. When she took her hands off 
her knees and undoubled herself we realised that 
she was inviting us into a tea-house. We made her 
understand that we did not want tea, but that we 
wanted appliances for travel, whereupon there were 
shouts of " kuruma," and two rickshaws were pro- 
duced. Our twenty-one packages remained scattered 
over the roadway, and I utterly declined to be 
moved in person until I had seen my belongings 
started on their way. We admonished the lady of 
the tea-house and everybody present that the bag- 
gage coolies must go ahead. All the satisfaction 
we received took the form of more bowing, and an 
amicable outburst of " Hai ! Hai ! " We had no 
vocabulary with us to let us know that " Hai ! " was, 
more or less, an affirmative answer. The only Japan- 
ese word we knew was " jinrikisha," and we were not 



JAPAN. 251 

even certain that that was Japanese, as we had been 
told that the vehicle was originally invented by an 
American for use in Japan, where the natives call it 
" kururna." 

I grew so annoyed at my ignorance of the language, 
and the general atmosphere of stupidity, that I gave 
my rickshaw coolie a poke with my parasol. This 
was the climax. He showed no indignation, but he 
resolutely stepped from between the shafts and de- 
clined any further connection with me. 

' Don't you understand now the reason of the 
successfulness of Japan and the downward road of 
poor old Ireland VI inquired of Anemone. " The 
Japanese know how to keep their tempers ; the Irish 
don't. That's the secret of the whole thing. After 
all, they've got tempers. Hideyoshi, for instance, lost 
his when the Emperor of China wanted to make him 
King of Japan But Anemone, who had not my 

affection for history, said she thought speculation 
upon national traits was unseasonable, and that I 
had better apologise to the coolie unless I wanted 
to sleep at Yumoto_that night. 

As I spoke no Japanese I was spared the humilia- 
tion of a verbal apology, but I had to look penitent, 
which was quite bad enough. Being in the right the 
coolie could afford to be forgiving, so he picked up 
the shafts and we moved on, leaving the baggage 
untouched on the road. We were too humbled to 
refer to it again. Our only illumination was one 
paper lantern which we shared between us, and 
which might as well have been left behind for all 
the light it gave. Although the road was uphill the 
coolies rushed along so precipitately that had they 
been horses we should have accused them of running 
away. We were bumped and jolted over ruts and 



252 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

boulders, we slipped along mountain paths, by the 
sides of precipices with roaring torrents storming 
below us, and dark hillsides closing us in like prisons 
as we scaled higher and higher towards pale stars 
which blinked down upon us in the most unfeeling 
way. My incapacitated condition made me feel very 
nervous. I said my prayers and tried to compose 
myself to the state of resignation suitable to any 
one just about to meet her end. Instead, we met a 
village, and soon after a long flight of steps leading 
to an hotel. I tottered out of the rickshaw and 
stared at the steps forlornly. I was not left long 
to survey them. I was suddenly hoisted off my feet 
and carried to the top. The small person who de- 
posited me in the doorway smiled and bowed, and 
when he straightened himself did not reach much 
above my waist. I do not know whether he under- 
stood that blank amazement was what prevented 
my returning thanks. The baggage had arrived and 
was patiently waiting for us, and as the only vacant 
apartments without the drawback of more steps were 
small rooms in the bachelors' quarters, with those we 
had to be content. 

All next day Joseph and Anemone took walks and 
sulphur-baths alternately. I could not put my foot 
to the ground, so I had to stay in bed. I could see 
nothing from my windows except the bachelors, whom 
I wished at Jericho, or rather in England, where they 
might have been of some good. On the third day it 
rained, and Joseph announced that Myanoshita was 
a stupid place and that we had better leave at once. 

I declined to descend the mountains by rickshaw. 
I travelled in a chair, regardless of the elements. 
The rain streamed, and the mist was so thick that 
the chair-bearers were scarcely visible, much less the 



JAPAN. 253 

country round. Peeping under my umbrella I man- 
aged to catch glimpses of an orchard, a water-mill, 
a man in a straw costume the Japanese equivalent 
for a mackintosh a river frothing in the valley, and 
maples very dressy with their gold and crimson 
autumn tints. But the mist was most efficient in 
concealing all the beauties. I had no more idea 
what Myanoshita was like after my visit than I had 
before going there. 

" I couldn't possibly be succeeding better in how 
not to see Japan," I told the others, as I rejoined 
them in Yumoto and lent Anemone hair-pins, as not 
one of her own was left. The rickshaws had galloped 
down the mountains. Anemone had not been nerv- 
ous, because the rate of descent had left no time for 
feelings. It had left no time for anything, except her 
hat to come off and her hair to tumble down. Yet, 
in spite of this extraordinary speed, Joseph seemed 
very impatient, and tried to help the tram's progress 
by pacing up and down. 

" Tall, with a small head looks like an American," 
I overheard him mutter. 

" Are you referring to the Duchess of Marl- 
borough ? " I asked. I had had my suspicions that 
something more than rain had been accountable for 
the sudden flitting from Myanoshita, and now Joseph 
acknowledged that he was in full pursuit of a girl 
who was, he expected, American, consequently an 
heiress and most suited to be the future Mrs Joseph 
March. When he rushed away and left Anemone 
and me behind at the station in Yokohama I am 
afraid our comments upon our prospective sister-in- 
law were more forcible than polite. At such junc- 
tures Anemone has a way of dissociating herself from 
the family. 



254 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

"I wonder you don't all use the double barrel to 
your name," she suggested, as she helped me to a 
rickshaw. 

" I didn't know we had one," I answered. 

"Why, surely," she retorted, ''March is always 
hyphened to Hare." 

She did not mention the adjective usually applic- 
able, but she might just as well have done so, I 
thought. 

We went to the hotel with the prettiest appellation, 
and everywhere on jugs and basins, cups and saucers 
we found ourselves confronted by maple - leaves. 
As I dried my face on a maple-leaf, and then crawled 
under one to sleep, I made certain that the writer of 
the national psean of Canada had paid a visit to that 
hotel, for certainly it was a case of 

" The maple-leaf, the maple-leaf, 
The maple-leaf for ever ! " 

Next morning Joseph found us out and was very 
anxious to make amends for the previous evening. 
The American lady had vanished on board a liner, 
so nothing except a slight depression remained to 
distract his attention. While he and Anemone went 
room - hunting I stayed in to be interviewed by a 
doctor, and was very startled when the hotel man- 
ager ushered Dr Nikola into my room. At least, if 
he was not the original of Mr Guy Boothby's hero he 
ought to have been, for a more striking likeness could 
not have been found. When the others returned they 
found me mournfully confronting a maple-leaf. Dr 
Nikola had ordained an operation which would neces- 
sitate my not putting my foot to the ground for three 
weeks. Certainly everything was working smoothly 
towards the success of how not to see Japan. 



JAPAN. 255 

Fortunately, Joseph was lucky as usual. He has 
the power of doing exactly what he chooses without 
any one minding, and getting just what he wants 
without annoying any one else. This time his good 
fortune prevailed for our benefit, and he secured the 
best room at the cheapest rate in one of the hotels 
overlooking the bund. Before he returned to the 
Malay States he saw us installed there, and a lively 
view over the harbour counterbalanced the misfortune 
of weeks spent in the clutches of Dr Nikola. 

One day the Japanese had boat-races. First they 
set up a pavilion which had " Yokohama Athletic 
Club" written over it in sprawling letters. Here 
a great crowd assembled, and all day long a band 
laboured conscientiously at ancient waltzes, Irish 
jigs, and Scottish melodies. On the water were 
barges filled with people waving flags, either green 
or red or white, while a little boat moored opposite 
was filled with flags which were left to wave 
themselves. 

The races were between young Japanese cadets 
from different colleges. There were three boat- 
loads : one boat was filled with young Japs in green 
jerseys, one with Japs in white, and one with Japs 
in red. They looked rather like a flock of parrots, as 
the boats won in turn in the most ceremonious way. 
We supposed this had been arranged to satisfy 
scruples of Japanese courtesy, but we could not 
make out who could be the winners under such 
conditions at the close of the day, when the band 
played "God save the King," or " the Queen," as 
it still was then, and the spectators dispersed. The 
Anglo - Japanese alliance had not been formulated 
then, and " God save the Queen " was evidently not 
played as a compliment. We came to the conclusion 



256 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

that the Japanese understood the British National 
Anthem to be the up-to-date European method of 
telling people it was time to go home. As a matter 
of fact, no one had decided upon the winners, and the 
whites and greens the cadets from Yokohama and 
Tokio had to race again the whole of the following 
day, and then we were not sure that either boat-load 
won. In fact, the Japanese are so invincible that 
apparently they cannot beat themselves. 

In spite of such diversions it was trying only to 
be able to survey Japan through window-panes. 

" I've always despised a globe-trotter's standpoint 
now I'm left without even that," I complained to 
Anemone, as I mournfully contemplated my foot, on 
which a blind masseuse was performing butterfly 
movements, most showy and complicated, but so light 
and feather-like that she might have spared herself 
the trouble, I thought. 

However, we managed to include a great deal of 
hilarity in the days' proceedings, and sometimes con- 
tinued it so far into the night that our next - door 
neighbour used to thump indignant protests on the 
wall. Anemone was also busy making friends in 
the hotel. Like most little, fair women she is thor- 
oughly capable of taking care of herself, especially 
as she has a rather nervous manner, which makes 
everybody think her in need of their extreme solici- 
tude. " Dear little Mrs Benjamin March," people 
called her, and had not the remotest suspicion that the 
lynx eyes of the " sweet little woman " were spying 
out their innermost peculiarities. By the time I re- 
emerged she had made a great many acquaintances ; 
and we used to give tea-parties, which must have 
been lucrative for the establishment, as we discovered 
by chance that our guests used to be presented with 



JAPAN. 257 

" chits " demanding payment as they went out at the 
hall door. The most useful of Anemone's new friends 
was a young man whom we installed as a sort of 
courier. At least, he advised us what purchases to 
make and what dresses to put on. and escorted us on 
our expeditions after I was sound on my feet again, 
and we started out to see what we could of Japan. 

As a thorough change from my rest-cure we began 
by climbing the Hundred Steps, and at the top were 
given tea by Oyuchesan, whom we thought decidedly 
passe'e ; but perhaps we did not see the right lady, or 
even if we did, a great many years have gone by since 
the American sailor man first sang her praise. What 
we admired most from the top of the Steps was Fuji- 
yama, the dainty Lady of Japan, with her powdered 
head and the faint pink glow of the sunset like rouge 
on a pure, pale face. Unlike all other mountains so 
delicate, yet so strong ; so shapely, yet scarred by 
ancient upheavals she stands out the type of the 
grace and heroism of the people of those fairy -like 
islands, where rugged pines overshadow the rice-fields 
and an apple orchard stands vis-d-vis to a bamboo 
grove where the East calls to the West, " Come and 
join hands together. The sun as it rises and sets 
shines on both in the same short day. Racial distinc- 
tions are paltry on such an insignificant globe ! " 



258 



CHAPTER XXI. 

JAPAN. 

YOKOHAMA is a place one can understand. The old 
native quarter, with its queer little houses and its 
paper-lantern lit streets, remains to remind one of the 
village that first gained importance from its prox- 
imity to Kanagawa, the original treaty port. On 
Kanagawa Bluff the rich Japanese reside, and on the 
other Bluff are the villas of well-to-do Europeans. 
The foreign settlement is near the sea-shore, and at 
the back of the settlement is Chinatown. 

But Tokio seems to rival the complexities of 
Japanese history, or at least it did so in the days 
before electric cars were introduced. Its irregular 
streets look as if they needed sorting and tidying. 
They spread out in all directions without any method, 
their one and only apparent object to stretch as far 
as possible from each other, and send the rickshaws 
scudding farther and farther like so many round- 
backed beetles. They are reminiscent, I suppose, of 
the fishing village of the fifteenth century, called 
Ye-do, the "door of the bay." The picturesque moat 
and wall which wind round the middle of Tokio re- 
mind one of the feudal days when leyasu, the founder 
of the Tokugawa Shogunate, had Yedo recommended 
to him for a place of residence by Hideyoshi, the great 



JAPAN. 259 

soldier of Japan. At Yedo leyasu's descendants lived 
as Shoguns, the virtual rulers of the empire, though 
the real power soon became vested in the officers 
round them, and they themselves had no more influ- 
ence than the emperors who were shut away in sacred 
seclusion at the Court at Kyoto. Inside the moat 
and walls red -brick Houses of Parliament testify 
to the change that was made when Yedo became 
Tokio, the Eastern capital the Emperor's new resi- 
dence ; the Shogunate was abolished for ever ; the 
Daimio of their own free will surrendered their feudal 
privileges, and, by the unparalleled patriotism of the 
whole nation, Japan entered on her new glorious era 
of Meiji " Enlightened Peace." 

Anemone decided that we should not take up our 
residence at Tokio, as it was such an easy journey 
from Yokohama, but we used often to go there for the 
day. The joys of shopping were restricted because 
we had no idea what expenses we might have in the 
future, and we felt we must save money to be ready 
for all contingencies. Life was made supportable to 
Anemone by the hope of joining Benjamin in Peking. 
This anticipation, though otherwise delightful, involved 
a carefulness over expenditure that was certainly a 
drawback when we were supposed to go and shop. 
Every one was buying curios. As for the Courier, 
he had a genius for shopping ; while Anemone and I, 
on the contrary, never wanted what we could afford 
because we so much preferred everything that was 
beyond our means. So we treated the shops as 
museums, and went into raptures over cloisonne, 
lacquer, bronzes, pictures of Princess Oto-Tachibana 
sitting in the middle of Yedo Bay to quiet the waters, 
and Yoshitsune, the great hero, performing his exploits 
in gay embroideries. It was an economical method, 



260 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

for we used to come out leaving the salesmen no richer 
and ourselves no poorer than when we went in. When 
the Courier found himself asked to carry an almost 
microscopic model of a crab, costing two sen, as the 
result of a day's shopping, he felt that it was time for 
him to take our purchases in hand ; and, acting under 
his advice, we managed to have our necessities sup- 
plied, in spite of the more desirable works of art 
which so appealed to us. 

We found that there was a good deal of uncertainty 
about special orders. The Japanese invariably bowed 
and smiled, no matter whether they intended to do 
as we wanted or not. This was very confusing after 
being accustomed to Chinese, who make it so very 
evident when it is their intention not to oblige, but 
are absolutely to be relied upon once they have pro- 
nounced the magic words " can do." All we could feel 
certain of with the Japanese was that they would 
keep their tempers, even if we lost ours, and that was 
not altogether a consolation for us. It was, in fact, 
depressing to have the inferiority of one's character 
emphasised by a smiling populace. However, we 
quite agreed with Father Francis Xavier, the pioneer 
missionary, who considered that in natural goodness 
the Japanese surpassed all the barbarous races, only 
we changed the adjective and made use of " civilised." 
Their self-control certainly carries its reward with it, 
as the Japanese are said never to suffer from nerves. 
We rather wondered why Dr Nikola did not start for 
England and introduce the smiling cure. He could re- 
commend so many hours a day to be devoted to laugh- 
ing, with the strictest abstinence from annoyance or 
loss of temper of any sort. We mooted the idea to 
the doctor, but he said it would be too effective it 
would never pay medical men. The doctrine of self- 



JAPAN. 261 

control must have originated, he considered, in 
countries where physicians lost their stipends when 
their patients lost good health. 

Foreigners in Japan do not seem to be as lucky 
with their nervous systems, which are said to be 
impaired by the frequent earthquake shocks. The 
first we experienced took place one day when we had 
gone to Tokio to see a chrysanthemum show. We 
had looked forward to finding pots full of wonderful 
flowers ; instead, we were invited into little booths 
which were filled with figures made out of the blossoms 
and greenery of the plants. The blooms were very 
small, and it must have taken "thousands to form all 
the representations. In the most popular booth the 
floral figures were made to imitate the entry of the 
Japanese troops into Peking ; and the mild expressions 
of the flowers seemed to protest against the ferocity 
of their attitudes, as a small soldier, formed of dark 
chrysanthemums, viciously beheaded a Chinaman, 
gorgeous in yellow blooms. Suddenly the chrysan- 
themum sword waved in the chrysanthemum hands, 
and the decapitated chrysanthemum head positively 
quivered. We were much impressed by the ingenuity 
that could produce such a realistic effect, and were no 
less surprised to hear that an earthquake had been 
the mechanism. The upheavals were so slight that, 
up till then, we had passed them by unnoticed ; after 
that, whenever the surroundings wobbled, we under- 
stood what was taking place. 

We were rather disappointed over chrysanthemums. 
We had expected to find them springing up in every 
nook and cranny like maidenhair ferns in Ceylon. 
However, we made sure that our hopes would be 
realised when a special messenger arrived from Tokio, 
and we were presented with a large invitation-card, 



262 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

on top of which figured the Imperial sixteen-leaved 
chrysanthemum. Our jubilation was great to find 
ourselves invited to the Mikado's chrysanthemum 
show, which was to be held in the gardens of the 
Crown Prince's palace at Tokio. 

It was a little alarming to see that there were 
a number of regulations about clothes. No ladies 
were to wear black, and as Anemone's prettiest 
dress happened to be black and white she thought 
the rule very arbitrary. 

" Why can't the Japs stick to their own fashions ? " 
she inquired. 

I reminded her that, as they had copied them from 
the Chinese at the time of the Ming Dynasty, it 
was not altogether unnatural that they might want 
a change. 

Anemone considered that they would no longer 
be proof against irritability. It was her opinion 
that good temper was incompatible with sleeves that 
were out of date. 

The Courier was also troubled because he saw that 
all gentlemen must appear in top -hats and frock- 
coats, and he had come unprovided with such, not 
realising that nowadays without them a man can 
hardly depend upon getting across the road in 
Japan. As he had had no invitation this need not 
have worried him, had not Anemone and I, at the 
eleventh hour, determined to try and get him one. 
So, on the chance of being invited, he ordered a 
frock - coat from a Chinese tailor, who sat up all 
night to finish the garment, and arrived worn and 
weary just in time with it next day. Unfortun- 
ately a letter arrived at the same moment to say 
the invitation list was closed. All that remaiaed 
for the Courier was to escort us to the station in 



JAPAN. 263 

the magnificence of his new purchase ; while Anemone 
and I made lamentation and set off rather discon- 
solately, as every one belonging to the British Lega- 
tion was in official mourning over the death of a 
Royalty, and so we knew we should meet no ac- 
quaintances from there. 

As the train carried us through the rice -fields 
and past the blue waters of Yedo Bay, a dear little 
Japanese lady sat opposite us in the carriage. She 
looked an aristocratic little person in her pale -grey 
kimono. Bright -coloured gaudy kimonos are only 
worn by the geisha class. But, unfortunately, she 
was not bound for the garden-party, at which only 
European clothes were allowed. We were sorry, 
as we might perhaps have appropriated her as 
chaperon. That being impossible, we secured two 
rickshaws, and the coolies scuttled with us past the 
moat and walls to the inner sanctuaries of Tokio, 
and deposited us at the garden gates of the Crown 
Prince's palace. 

We were received by flunkeys in black and white 
liveries, with scarlet waistcoats and a great show 
of gold lace. They were stationed at intervals along 
the garden paths, with here and there policemen 
to prevent monotony. Some of the flunkeys bowed 
themselves double as we walked past, so Anemone 
and I almost curtseyed to the right and left of us 
in our endeavour to live up to the politeness of 
the footmen of Japan. Some of them, however, 
ignored our efforts, and looked under as they 
could not look over our heads, with the haughty 
superciliousness of Britannic servitors. 

"No doubt," said Anemone regretfully, " they're 
realising that it's easier to bow in a kimono than in 
livery. Manners have to adapt themselves to clothes." 



264 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

"And people ought to be able to conform to the 
landscape," I answered, in which case we should 
have turned into puppets, for the garden was like 
miniature stage scenery, and we felt as if our 
dimensions needed to be reduced. We passed little 
hills covered with little trees. We passed little 
lakes filled with shaggy - tailed gold fish. Little 
bridges spanned the little lakes, and little people 
crossed over the little bridges. Presently we 
reached an open space where the chrysanthemums 
were holding a reception. We found them so sur- 
prising that we hardly paid them the deference to 
which, no doubt, they felt entitled as Imperial 
plants. That year they were all trained into a 
cone, as if in imitation of Mount Fuji-yama. The 
blossoms were grown in straight circles round the 
plants, the heads on one and all of them being 
exactly equal. Any irregularities disqualified a 
plant, and Anemone pictured distracted gardeners 
struggling to train refractory flowers with as much 
anxiety as the Duchess's roses were painted red in 
Wonderland. 

" Off with his head," quoted Anemone ; but it 
would only be the chrysanthemum's head and not 
the gardener's, I suppose, in these days of "En- 
lightened Peace." Some of the guests' heads, how- 
ever, appeared to anticipate the possibility of such 
an order, and retired inside top - hats which de- 
scended over their ears and eyes. The ladies 
seemed fairly comfortable. They had evidently 
passed the heroic stage of elementary struggles 
with stiff western fashions, and no longer wore 
their things upside down or inside out. We did 
not think they looked their best, but then who 
does in best clothes ? Party frocks have such a 



JAPAN. 265 

way of annihilating most wearers that one wonders 
why some people do not let their bodies be repre- 
sented by dress stands when they want to show 
off obtrusive gowns. 

Suddenly the band struck up the curious roll of 
the Japanese national anthem, and everybody bowed 
and curtseyed low as the Court officials backed past 
us, and the Mikado walked by at the head of the 
Imperial procession. Tall, for a Japanese, and 
dressed in a simple uniform, Mutsuhito represen- 
tative of constitutional miracles moved on with 
his bearded chin sunk on his chest, as though still 
in the deep seclusion that environed the former 
" descendants of the gods." Behind him walked 
the Crown Prince ; and then, dressed in mauve, and 
followed by a train of ladies-in-waiting, came the 
Empress, with a refined face full of the dignity of 
the old Fujiwara clan. 

After the Imperial hosts had taken their places a 
few presentations were made, and then the guests 
were supposed to turn their attention to food. The 
refreshments were spread on a side table, from which 
the gentlemen were left to help themselves and the 
ladies. We deplored the absence of the Courier, as 
much for our sakes as his own. Without him we ran 
every risk of hunger, as Anemone would allow no 
overtures to be made to Yokohama friends. 

" Better to be famished than look needy," she 
said. 

But she really felt as many misgivings as I did 
upon the truth of the statement, as we feasted our 
eyes instead of our mouths, and watched an old 
gentleman, whose hat and nose were in constant col- 
lision, save himself time and trouble by piling all the 
courses indiscriminately on to one plate. Anemone 



266 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

thought she felt less hungry as she saw lobster 
mayonaise and ice-cream side by side, with turkey 
and ham in the middle, next to a helping of trifle and 
a cheese savoury, while a spoonful of fruit salad and 
a little Yorkshire relish completed the plate -load. 
Still, it was hard to starve within sight of such a 
blend of delicacies, and I felt seriously annoyed when 
Anemone insisted upon our hiding behind a tree 
because some Yokohama people were walking past. 

Fortunately it was a Japanese tree of Japanese 
dimensions, and it did not prevent our being seen by 
an officer resplendent in uniform blazing with medals, 
and Russia came to our rescue in the palace gardens 
of our future ally. For the rest of the afternoon the 
Russian naval attache danced attendance on us, and 
in addition to feeding us pointed out the celebrities. 
We were shown the German officer who instructed the 
police force, the English naval instructor, and several 
other representatives of the best that Europe could 
offer, adapted to the needs of the Oriental pioneer. 
We saw several clean-shaven sailor men, facsimiles of 
our own naval officers, and found it hard to believe 
that they belonged to a generation that can still 
make such a messy exit from life as that of " hara- 
kiri." 

Then once more the Japanese national anthem 
rolled out, and the Imperial procession passed back 
to the palace. 

" You are for the winter in Japan, mesdames ? " 
inquired the Russian attache as he walked with us 
through the garden. 

"No," said Anemone. "Can't depend upon the 
post enough. We're going to Shanghai, I think, 



soon." 



The attache spoke in English, as Anemone called 



JAPAN. 267 

French an affected language. " Shanghai ? Ah ha ! 
The place for ducks," he said thoughtfully. 

Upon which Anemone replied, chillingly, that she 
believed the shooting was very good round the 
Yangtse. 

" I wasn't going to let him think we understood 
his silly compliment," she confided to me afterwards, 
and was quite offended when I explained that she 
might have spared herself the trouble, as he was only 
giving the literal translation of an idiom, and every- 
body in the Far East knows that " Shanghai est 
Tendroit d'ou viennent les canards." 

As Anemone could not rest away from the country 
that contained Benjamin, our days in Japan were 
numbered, and there was nothing for it but to make 
the most of the few that remained. 

Anemone so deplored the incident of the frock-coat 
that she quite avoided the Courier, and it was on that 
account, I suppose, that we found ourselves on the 
way to Kamakura with a strange young man who 
had lately arrived at the hotel, and of whom we 
knew nothing, except that he seemed over-burdened 
with a sense of his own importance. But then, as 
I said, we knew still less about the Dai Butsu, and 
so it came about that we accepted the stranger's offer 
of escort to Kamakura. 

In the train I tried to study how Kamakura came 
to be of importance through being the place of resid- 
ence of Yoritomo, the great Shogun, who started the 
military administration of the provinces, thus forming 
the feudal system, and before he died, planned the 
erection of a colossal image of Buddha. I wondered 
whether I might weave any romance round the name 
of Itano no Tsubone, who is described as one of his 
" waiting ladies " who was filled with the " pious 






268 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

desire" to fulfil his dying injunctions. I appealed to 
the strange young man for information, but he knew 
nothing and cared less. 

" Dry Boots " was all he said (the terminal u of 
Butsu is not sounded). " Dry Boots ? What a re- 
markable name for a Buddha." 

Anemone looked at me, and we mutually named 
him " Dry Boots." Yoritomo did not interest him. 
He was too much engrossed in expatiating upon the 
grandeur of his "place at home" newly acquired, 
we fancied ; and dilating to us about a dinner he had 
given the night before to several small midshipmen. 

" I dared them to drink as much as I could," he 
boasted ; " and when they didn't know anything more 
that was happening, I put them into a sampan and 
turned them loose in the harbour." 

" Poor, poor little middies ! Think of their 
mothers," said Anemone. 

But I found my imagination sufficiently harassed 
by the thought of the middies. We could hardly 
bear the sight of Dry Boots after this. 

Anemone showed her disgust by making her rick- 
shaw coolie start ahead after we reached Kamakura, 
so she was the first to pass under the archway into 
the pretty grounds and see the colossal figure, which 
is almost fifty feet high, the length of the face alone 
being eight and a half feet. 

Anemone turned back to meet me. " I never felt 
so snubbed in my life," she said ; and I understood 
what she meant when I looked up into the great face 
of the bronze Dai Butsu. There towered the Buddha, 
with the majesty of perfect oblivion, perfect repose 
giving life to his lifeless features. We felt nothing 
to him, all we that passed by, to such heights had 
he risen above us. Unearthly in its expression of 



JAPAN. 269 

perfect peace was this marvellous representation of 
the consummation of Enlightenment. But it was this 
very Rest in Completion which made Nirvana seem 
a lesser ideal than the kingdom of God, represented 
always in growth, since fulness of life is incompatible 
with any idea of finality conceived on this tiny speck 
of the universe. 

The general public was forbidden to take 
photographs of the Dai Butsu, not on account of 
any sanctity attached to the image, but simply 
because fortifications were hidden away somewhere 
near it. In spite of prohibitions I struggled to get 
as many likenesses as possible, although it seemed 
almost desecration to try and snapshot that expres- 
sion of superhuman tranquillity. Dry Boots had no 
scruples of this kind ; but he grew very unhappy 
as I persisted in snapping the kodak in the ears 
of priests and officials. He was sure we should all 
be arrested, and end our outing by languishing in 
a Japanese prison. We thought he deserved to go 
to one, after his treatment of the middies, but 
hardly considered him worthy of such an interest- 
ing experience. However, we all grew hungry, and 
tore ourselves away from the Dai Butsu to eat a 
prosaic tiffin at a prosaic hotel. When we arrived 
we found that the slide of the kodak had been 
open, and that half a dozen blank portraits of the 
Buddha were all that we possessed. This was too 
much for Dry Boots. He had suffered untold agita- 
tion for absolutely no purpose. He said he felt ill, 
and Anemone and I pressed him to return to 
Yokohama ; while we waited for a later train and 
spent the interval calling upon Kwannon, the 
Goddess of Mercy the gentle deity who purifies 
the thoughts of the heart, removes fear from suffer- 



270 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

ing suppliants, and gives sons to childless women. 
In her earthly life she is supposed to have been a 
king's daughter filled with a passion for acquiring 
knowledge. She wished to pass her life as a nun, 
and, when this was not allowed, chose death rather 
than submit to being forced into marriage. I forget 
all about her image, except that it was made of 
gilded wood. But no one who has seen it could 
surely ever forget the peace of Nirvana, as depicted 
in the thirteenth century by the glyptic artist, 
Ono-Go-be-ye-mon, on the face of the Dai Butsu of 
Kamakura. 

Nikko, of course, is the place of temples, and to 
Nikko I stipulated that we must go. Anemone 
made a careful study of our finances, and calculated 
that a visit to Nikko was possible, provided we spent 
no more than a certain sum during the rest of our 
stay in Yokohama. When she came to me one 
day and said that we had been invited to go and 
see a geisha dance at the Maple Club in Tokio, my 
first inquiry was, " Are you sure we can afford it ? " 

Anemone was quite decided that we could. She 
said our finances would even allow us to sleep the 
night in Tokio ; but she looked rather crestfallen 
later on when she discovered that the geisha dance 
was not to be provided gratis. However, our share 
was not to be very large. " We can just afford it," 
said Anemone, making some abstruse calculations. 

So to Tokio we went. The Courier and Dry Boots 
were included in the party. At least Dry Boots, 
uninvited, included himself. In the evening we 
started out, one behind the other, a long procession 
of rickshaws. Moonlight glistened on the waters 
of the moat, and the shadows were inky black as 
we turned down a long avenue of tall cryptomerias 



JAPAN. 271 

that brought us to the quaint little Maple Club 
standing in its pretty garden. Little people in 
kimonos rubbed their hands on their knees and 
bent double as we removed our shoes before 
entering. Anemone was very embarrassed because 
a panting Japanese ran up, bowed low, and pre- 
sented her with a pair of pink silk stockings. She 
understood about taking off her shoes, but had no 
idea that it was the custom to put on extra hose. 
She was just sternly stating that nothing would 
induce her to copy the indecorous Japanese habit 
of dressing in public, when I recognised the pink 
foot-gear as my own possessions. I had left them 
about in my room, so a hotel -runner had consider- 
ately followed in pursuit with them. Possibly the 
citizens of New Japan occasionally forget to put on 
items of western clothes. The women examined us 
and our garments as eagerly as though we were the 
first white people they had seen ; and as we knew 
that we were not, we thought it rather unnecessary 
to find ourselves treated as curios. 

A Japanese friend of the Courier's had come with 
us to explain everything we might not understand. 
" Ancient times " were what he made reference to 
incessantly, with such a curious accent, that Dry 
Boots at last asked him not to tell us so much 
about the Argentines but a little more about Japan. 
But instead of the " ancient times' customs " Anemone 
wanted to hear all about his wife. Unfortunately, 
the subject bored him ; perhaps he thought it in- 
appropriate when geisha were what we had come 
to see. 

" Why you always talk me my wife my wife ? " 
he said. " I am sick of my wife." 

No doubt he would have said " my contemptible 



272 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

wife " had he spoken in Japanese, for everybody 
should depreciate himself and his belongings accord- 
ing to Japanese etiquette. But Anemone took the 
remark as a slight upon matrons all the world over, 
and devoted her attention to the furniture, or rather 
to its absence, as some square cushions were all there 
was. She wished house -furnishing could be under- 
taken as cheaply elsewhere. There certainly seemed 
no necessity to crowd up interiors after testing the 
convenience of finding one's own persons the only 
contents of a Japanese room. 

" Civilisation multiplies artificial worries/' said Dry 
Boots, sitting down on the padded mat floor and 
leaning his back against the paper wall. 

" It multiplies dust and dusters," said Anemone. 

The wall was a sliding panel, and was also made 
use of as a door ; so the entry of supper through 
it led to the unintentional exit of Dry Boots, who 
expressed different views upon civilisation as he 
abruptly disappeared. 

The presentation of fans took the place of hors 
d'ceuvre. 

11 That means that everything to follow is a present. 
A fan is the sign of a gratuitous gift," said Dry Boots, 
returning through the wall and giving us the benefit 
of this false statement as he reseated himself as far 
as possible from his uncertain background. 

Anemone and I accepted a fan each with gratitude, 
but we grew embarrassed when we each had a large 
wooden box pressed upon us filled with sugared cakes, 
jellies, and irises and chrysanthemums made out of 
sugary sweets. We tried to explain that it went 
against our principles to accept presents from 
strangers, but the little "musume" only laughed 
more delightedly, and insisted on our taking delicate 



JAPAN. 273 

china sake cups, and then showed us how to manipu- 
late chop-sticks in one hand. For by this time the 
courses were following one upon another with rapidity, 
as our appetites were not sharpened to the point of 
proper appreciation of the whole bill of fare. Dry 
Boots, at any rate, enjoyed the sweet warm sake. 
" Another cup of sake, Ne San," he requested, 
smacking his lips. And the little " Ne San " was 
delighted to give him sake* or anything else that 
he liked. The Japanese could hardly be anything 
but amiable, considering that the education of their 
mothers has chiefly consisted of learning how, under 
all circumstances, never to frown at men, but only 
and always to smile. 

When supper was done the musicians came in, and 
twanged their samisens and droned weird airs while 
the geisha danced. 

The first was the " Kumono-sei," or dance of the 
Fairy Spider. The spider was a geisha (a yam yam 
she was called on the programme), in a grey kimono ; 
and her movements and postures were so spider-like 
that they were enough to make even a mason -fly 
shiver, especially when she flung a web made of 
strips of weighted paper over another little yam yam 
her prey. The description on our programmes was 
as follows : " The dance originated to a fairy tale of 
an old spider who lived over thousand years in a 
cave, and obtained miraculous power and used to 
devour many human lives. The Mikado of the reign 
sent a brave warrior, named Raiko, who killed spider 
transformed a woman after strong resistance." But 
in spite of graphic explanations from the Japanese 
gentleman, we could not quite follow the thread of 
this narrative in the dance. 

Then we saw the dance of the cotton-bleachers, in 

s 



274 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

which strips of material were waved by four dancers, 
and the maple dance, said never to be seen anywhere 
except at the Maple Club. The kimonos were 
exquisite, and some of the dancers were quick-change 
artists, and suddenly shed their outer garments and 
appeared in even lovelier under-kimonos. 

The most curious dance of all was described as " a 
lion and lioness sporting on a stone bridge in a garden 
of peonies." Pretty faces peeped out under shaggy 
manes, and the yam yams might have spent their 
lives in zoological gardens, so marvellously feline did 
they represent themselves. 

It was sad to tear ourselves away at the end of 
the performance and put on our shoes with the little 
lady's help. 

" Sayonara," if it must be they cried in the 
prettiest chorus, as our rickshaws scuttled away 
with us where the moonlight fell in splashes across 
the black shadows of the trees. 

But next morning when we came down we found 
the breakfast table chiefly occupied by a bill ; and so 
too were our thoughts. All the kind presents, for 
which we had thanked so profusely and tried our 
hardest to return, were mentioned in full detail in 
the account. Even the rags in which they were done 
up to keep the boxes clean in the rickshaws were 
charged for at high prices. Anemone's observations 
upon Japanese gratuities were fluent, to say the 
least. 

"What about Nikko?" was all that I demanded 
sorrowfully, as I packed a forest of cedar trees which 
I had purchased between the chop-sticks and the sake 
cup and the flowers made of sweets. 

Anemone declined to have anything more to do 
with the remains of her supper. She bequeathed 



JAPAN. 275 

them to the hotel proprietor, as she said they must 
be made a present to somebody after so many thanks 
had been squandered on them. Nothing would 
induce me to part from mine after the expense they 
had put me to, so I returned to Yokohama carrying 
the parcel in its white rag covering, and Anemone 
said I looked as if I were taking the washing home. 

After all, it was not remarkable that one should 
have to buy presents one did not want in a country 
in which the people had just discovered that mixed 
bathing, minus bathing suits, was not considered 
civilised, and in an outburst of propriety divided 
men from women by fastening a bamboo across each 
public bath. 

I thought much about Nikko, though delicacy of 
feeling did not let me express my sentiments. Still 
they rankled in my mind even during the courses of 
several dinners to which we were invited to meet 
Japanese celebrities men whose names figure in the 
daily papers, and whose daughters, as well as sons, 
had in some cases been educated abroad. One girl 
we met had taken all sorts of degrees at American 
colleges, and was now busy translating ' Adam Bede ' 
and ' Vanity Fair' into Japanese. We wondered 
what Becky Sharp was thought of by young women 
righteously trained in the " Three Obediences." We 
used to go home hoping that air-ships might soon be 
discovered and Mars explored, for certainly every one 
everywhere would soon be exactly the same all over 
this little globe. 

Before long, as the date drew near for the Empress 
to arrive and carry us to " the place where the ducks 
come from," I once more interviewed Anemone on the 
subject of Nikko. But, as it happened, what is known 
as a "Fuji gale" set in that very same day. The 



276 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

wind rose to a hurricane. The waves bounced across 
the bund and battered the hotel windows. In many 
parts traffic was stopped. 

" We can't go to Nikko on account of the weather," 
said Anemone. 

But I knew better. I knew we should not go to 
the place of temples, and, therefore, according to the 
Japanese, know nothing of beauty, all because of 
those superfluous presents heaped on us at the geisha 
dance. But the storm saved Anemone's "face," to 
use the Chinese expression, and it was a revelation as 
to the possibilities of the Japanese climate. Up till 
then, with the exception of the rain at Myanoshita, 
we had seen nothing but a sun and sky as radiant as 
the smiling inhabitants. Now, for a few days, we 
were as much surprised by the weather as the 
Russians have been since by the " little Japs" as 
foes. By the time the wind subsided and several 
yachts lay pitiful wrecks along the bund, the Empress 
had entered the harbour and the time for leaving 
Yokohama had come. 

I climbed on the familiar deck, carrying what 
Anemone called my washing, and though no one 
seemed to appreciate the Maple Club delicacies, 
everybody on board was unanimous in congratulating 
us upon having been thoroughly successful in how 
not to see Japan. 



277 



CHAPTER XXII 

SHANGHAI. 

WUSUNG ! Do you know it that spot where the 
Whang-poa river flows into the estuary of the Yangtse- 
kiang ? Wusung ! The name sounded dismal, and 
nothing could have looked more dreary than the place. 
Fine rain was falling upon mud-coloured waters from 
a sky which looked so dirty that one could not help 
wishing that the clouds would not undertake laundry 
work. Nothing was visible of the flat river banks 
except a faint yellow outline. Here and there a burnt 
sienna junk sail added a deeper touch to the general 
scheme of jaundiced colouring, and the grey sides of 
a warship loomed gigantic through the mist. 

Anemone and I splashed down the gangway of the 
Empress and went on board the tender, which took 
an hour and a half threading its way up the Whang- 
poa through a labyrinth of junks, sampans, and river- 
boats, while from gunboats and merchant vessels 
drooped the dripping dejected flags of the different 
western nations. We were coming to the land of 
complexities, and it seemed suitable to find it en- 
veloped in fog. We had left the country of miracles 
the islands with the forty million inhabitants, who, 
now coming to the forefront of modern civilisation and 
progress, were originally entirely influenced in their 



278 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

religion, literature, art, and even their national 
costume, by this Middle Kingdom, now boasting its 
population of four hundred million Chinese. Who 
can prophesy what may happen now that China is 
renewing her existence and beginning to avail her- 
self of modern discovery ? 

" Extremes meet. I suppose that explains my 
affection for the Chinese," I said to Anemone, as we 
sat side by side on the tender, with Lord Pouring and 
General Dripping for our select society, as the old 
Scotch gatekeeper said. " Fancy being brought up 
to think that anything not taught by Confucius is 
not worth knowing. Surely one spontaneous thought 
is worth a thousand importations from somebody 
else's brain." 

Anemone appeared to think this observation con- 
ceited, and I also felt it to be ridiculous, as other 
people's wise thoughts must be of more use than our 
own foolish ones, and we can form none of our own 
until those of other people have first been received. 
Still, is it not a fault of educational systems in more 
countries than China to overrate the use of the brain 
as a receptacle for receiving impressions and under- 
rate its use as an organ for originating them ? 

" Fancy," I went on, " being brought up to think 
one's ancestors so important that one's only hope in 
life is to be one after death. Fancy having to live 
under the thumb of a mother-in-law. I expect 
Chinese women are as good as any others in manag- 
ing men somehow or other by hook or by crook. You 
may depend it's being at the mercy of other women 
that drives so many poor little wives to commit 
suicide. Fancy being liable to be divorced and sold 
because you haven't a son. Fancy having to do 
everything by rote because other people have done 



SHANGHAI. 279 

the same before, though that is the bane of a great 
many countries, of course. Imagine having to write 
all one's thoughts in symbols and combine those sym- 
bols to make further meanings to have to put the 
character sun by the character moon, for instance, to 
represent the word ' bright.' Can you imagine any 
one more unsuited to being a Chinese than I am ? " 
I asked. 

" No, I can't," said Anemone, with the greatest 
decision. 

" Well ! why is it, then, that I feel in such sym- 
pathy with them ? " 

Anemone had no idea. 

" Perhaps it's because of their contradictions. There 
is no opinion of them which one can hold which is not 
both true and untrue. And, after all, that is not 
peculiar to them. In most things one can hold dia- 
metrically opposite views. There is really no such 
thing as one opinion. The one is probably a blend of 
quite twenty. Therefore contradictory statements are 
not the least ridiculous. What is ridiculous is not to 
contradict oneself a great deal more than one does. 
Consequently, with the Chinese it's quite logical to say 
that they are a most kindly people and a cruel people, 
that they make the greatest use of time, working 
early and late, and that knowledge of time and its 
use doesn't enter their heads at all." 

" If you were studying Chinese," said Anemone, " I 
should say that the language was having its usual 
effect upon foreigners. As you aren't, you haven't 
the slightest excuse for going mad. And pray, don't 
just now ; it would be so inopportune." 

After that snub I discontinued my criticism of the 
Celestials, and helped Anemone hunt in her dressing- 
case for two pieces of paper on which long lists of 



280 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

addresses were written down. Anemone was still 
saving up for Peking, and continued on what the 
Courier called " the how -much tack." The Courier 
had travelled with us as far as Wusung, and there 
we said good-bye. Parted from him, Anemone felt 
free to practise economy without any restriction, and 
intended to begin to do so at once. She scorned an 
invitation we had to visit some Shanghai friends. 

"If we begin by staying with people," she said, 
" it will end in our taking expensive rooms afterwards 
and having no money left to get to Peking." 

She also decided against going to the Astor House 
Hotel, even for the first night. 

" We must practise rigid economy from the start," 
she adjured me. " Take two rickshaws and hunt at 
once for accommodation in a boarding-house." 

" I'm sure I shall hate a boarding-house," I objected. 
" The very name's depressing. It won't let one forget 
melancholy people sitting round a melancholy table 
eating melancholy food." 

Still, I quite agreed that economy was advisable, and 
so the first thing we did when we reached Shanghai 
was to commit our luggage into the care of the C.P.R. 
agent and make him promise to leave the godown 
open, so that we should be able to get our things 
out whenever we came back. 

" Accomplished first step to economy. Second step 
two rickshaws," said Anemone. 

There was no difficulty about this, as rickshaws 
were lined up in waiting along the bund, and an 
excited chorus of coolies gave tongue the moment 
we landed : " Hey, Mississi ! Rickshaw, Mississi ? 
Mississi ! Hey ! Hey ! Mississi ! Bomby, Mississi ? " 
But no, we did not want them " bomby " (by-and-by). 
We wanted them at once " chop chop." 



SHANGHAI. 281 

I was delighted to deliver myself up to a dear inild- 
faced Chinese coolie, ready to do his best to the utter- 
most, but a rickshaw in torrents of rain is one of the 
most miserable of conveyances, though a wheel-barrow 
would be worse. Being long in the body, it was 
almost impossible for me to cram my head, much less 
my hat, in under the hood. The footboard was turn- 
ing into a pond, and volleys of mud splashed over 
one from puddles in the road. However, night had 
fallen, and though lights twinkled along the bund 
and the coolies carried their paper lanterns, we had 
not sufficient illumination to see all the damage in 
which our struggle after economy was involving our 
poor clothes. 

Anemone shouted the first address on her paper. 
Off trotted the coolies, and after a little time drew 
up at the foot of a flight of steps. We scrambled out 
of the rickshaws, and Anemone stood still and solilo- 
quised while the rain descended upon a long winter 
coat which she had brought out new from England, 
and of which, as being the latest thing in fashions, 
she felt justifiably proud. 

" Which is it to be economy or health ? If I 
wear my coat any longer it will be ruined and not 
fit to be seen all the rest of the winter. If I don't 
die now I'll be certain to die in the winter without 
my coat. Whereas my dying won't hurt my coat, 
it'll do for somebody else. So any way it's more 
important to save my coat .than myself, for my 
coat could do without me but I couldn't do without 
my coat. Economy conquers ! " and so saying she 
pulled off her coat and climbed up the wet steps, 
shivering, while the rain soaked through her blouse. 

We pealed a bell and were not kept long waiting. 
A China boy appeared. 



282 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

" Can we see Mississi ? " we asked, our pidgin 
English not yet fluent. 

" Go out," said the boy, and shut the door in our 
faces. 

Such a rebuff was so entirely unexpected that we 
both felt almost ready to cry. 

" Perhaps he didn't think it respectable to come 
about rooms so late in the evening," Anemone sug- 
gested, slipping down the steps, coat and all. 

"Very likely," I agreed as I tumbled after her. 
" Of course the Chinese have such strict ideas of 
propriety." 

"Never mind," said Anemone. "It's a necessity. 
It's got to be done," and she clambered into the 
rickshaw and shouted the next address. 

This time we stopped in a gloomy terrace more like 
a suburb of London than a street in an eastern town. 
Again we rang the bell, and when the Chinese serv- 
ant appeared inquired for Mississi. Again the boy 
answered tersely, " go out." 

I placed myself in the doorway. " I shall not go 
out," I said haughtily. 

The boy's face assumed an expression which a 
foreigner often calls up on Celestial visages, one 
more of pity than contempt. 

"Go out," he repeated distinctly. 

" Ij shall not" I said, feeling as pig-headed as any 
Chinese. 

The boy looked even more sorry for me. " Mississi 
have go out," he said slowly. 

Much abashed I retired off the doorstep. 

"They've only been telling us that their mis- 
tresses are out," I explained. 

" Mississi no have got. Mississi have go out," con- 
tinued the boy, evidently wishing to do the best he 



SHANGHAI. 283 

could for the ignorant barbarians whose own language 
even appeared incomprehensible to them. 

Anemone jumped at the " no have got." It was a 
relief after the curt "go out." 

" Mississi no have got ? " she inquired. 

" Yes," said the boy. 

" Good gracious ! Then she's here after all," said 
Anemone. 

"No, she isn't," I assured her. "The boy says 
* yes ' to the ' no/ that's just what a Chinese would 
say. It's much more correct than answering * no ' to 
'no/ as we should. The boy understands that two 
negatives make an affirmative." 

"It's no use stopping to give a discourse," said 
Anemone. " The thing is to find out " But, for- 
tunately, Mississi herself solved the difficulty as she 
collided with the coolies in her efforts to struggle 
past the rickshaws to her own front door. 

'You've come about rooms? Certainly I can let 
you have accommodation ; " and we did not wonder at 
it when she let us in, and we smelt dust that might 
have celebrated the first opening of Shanghai as a 
treaty port. We offered thanks in profusion and beat 
our retreat as fast as we could. 

The next house the coolies took us to looked a 
cheerful one, but the moment the boy opened the 
door a voice called down the stairs, "It's no use 
asking for rooms here, my house is entirely full." 

" Start the addresses on your paper, Griselda," said 
Anemone. " There doesn't seem any luck about 



mine." 



But the first I made out by the light of the coolies' 
lanterns led us a longer chase than the others. First 
we were drawn up at a house which we marched into 
boldly, but were promptly ejected, as it happened to 



284 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

be a gentlemen's club. Once more the coolies scuttled 
away, and then stopped in triumph at a building 
entitled " Mustard & Co." " Mustard & Co." showed 
no signs of being able to put out a helping hand to us, 
so there was nothing for it but to urge the coolies on 
in the search after Mrs Marks. They made desperate 
efforts, and ran from door to door waving their paper 
lanterns, and at last found a door-plate on which we 
read " Mrs Sampson," and found that Mrs Marks had 
inconsiderately changed her name. She had no 
accommodation to offer, so the time had been spent 
in vain. 

The next house we came to was a fine one. We 
were received by a little woman with a halo of grey 
curls. She could let us have two small bedrooms, no 
private sitting-room, oh, no ! she could not spare that 
amount of space now that Shanghai was filled with 
the " military " British, French, German " military" 
everywhere. Soon no rooms would be available for 
love or money, Shanghai was getting so full. But we 
should not feel the want of a private sitting-room, 
there was such a large general one ; and she had twelve 
daughters, and they were accustomed to living with 
their guests en famille. Every now and then they 
turned out the drawing-room and had a little dance. 
There were so many officers in Shanghai at present, 
and she loved her twelve daughters and her young 
lady guests to have a happy time. 

As she beamed and smiled at us, quite like a 
Japanese, we caught sight of one of the twelve 
daughters giving an English lesson to an emaciated 
French officer. 

"I couldn't face it," whispered Anemone. "I 
couldn't do en famille with twelve daughters and 
make myself agreeable to any rubbish they bring in." 



SHANGHAI. 285 

We said good-night to the lady with the grey halo, 
and she shook her head warningly as the rickshaws 
clattered away. Well she might, for it was very late 
by this time, and Hong Kew, where we next directed 
the coolies, was the other end of the town the part, 
filled with drinking-saloons and gambling-dens, which 
first originated the nautical expression, " shanghaied." 
But we did not know that then, and were in conse- 
quence unconcerned. 

At last we reached the address we wanted. We 
were ushered into the house, and waited twenty 
minutes in a musty sitting-room. Then a tall figure 
in a dressing-gown appeared. A white face stared 
solemnly at us, and a sepulchral voice murmured, 
" Excuse my appearance. I was lying down with a 
nervous headache. My nerves are all shattered 
since my poor, dear husband was drowned in the 
river. The doctor says a sea voyage is the only 
cure for them. Such a tragedy ! Such a tragedy ! 
And I'm sure I always did my duty by him as a 
wife." 

Thereupon, to our consternation, the dressing-gown 
heaved violently and the unfortunate woman began 
to laugh and cry in the same breath. A Chinese boy 
came to our assistance, armed with smelling-salts and 
sal volatile, and so in the middle of the night we 
found ourselves in wet clothes dosing an hysterical 
stranger in a remote quarter of Hong Kew. Cer- 
tainly Anemone's essay in economy had brought about 
unexpected results. Fortunately, when we left the 
house we were cheered by the countenances of the 
rickshaw coolies, who were impervious to wet, dis- 
tance, and hour, and were just as charmed with 
us and our errand as when we first started out. 
We ourselves could not say as much. It was so 



286 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

late that we decided that we must just go any- 
where for the night. 

" Only not the Astor House Hotel," Anemone 
stipulated. " In that case we should save nothing, 
and simply have the extra expense of paying for 
these rickshaws." 

The first thing to be done was to find the C.P.R. 
godown, as we had nothing with us except the clothes 
upon us, and they were all soaked through and 
through, except Anemone's coat. We left Hong 
Kew and returned to the part from which we had 
originally started, but the C.P.R. godown could not 
be found. At last we came to a passage which we 
hoped might lead to it, so we left the rickshaws and 
walked a little way. All we came to was an old 
Chinese busily chopping up a reeking fish. He only 
stared and laughed, and said, " no savvee " when we 
questioned him, and hacked away more vigorously. 
We caught a glimpse of more Chinese at the other 
end of the passage, and would have gone on had not 
the old man paused in his chopping : " More better 
no makee go ; plenty muchee men," he said ; and 
having delivered this warning he set to work at 
his fish again. We thought it so considerate of him 
to caution us, and returned to our rickshaw coolies 
feeling the most agreeable confidence in the Chinese. 

We had just started off again when we heard a great 
noise, and several French soldiers charged down the 
bund, pointing their bayonets. They were drunk that 
was certain ; and what more would have happened was 
very uncertain had not the coolies immediately turned 
and taken refuge in a quiet courtyard where, without 
knowing it, they deposited us opposite the C.P.R. 
godown. But our spirits sank to zero the godown 
was locked up ! We stood in the rain disconsolate, 



SHANGHAI. 287 

and several Chinese crowded round and talked, but 
were unable to help us at all. Finally, a man in 
European clothes appeared upon the scene. His 
nationality would probably be known as Portuguese 
in the Far East, but if the French savant's calcula- 
tion be correct that we each had 20,000,000 ancestors 
living in the year 1000 A.D., this man's physiognomy 
looked as if each of the 20,000,000 had been of a 
different nationality, though the racial diversities of 
the planet could hardly have supplied the amount. 
But we hailed him as a boon and a blessing, in spite 
of his uncouth looks, for he sent a coolie to the native 
city to find the godown keeper, and gave us shelter in 
the C.P.R. office until the arrival of the godown key. 
We found that the boarding-house in the gloomy ter- 
race was the nearest to get to, and so, regardless of 
other considerations, we went there for the night. 
The coolies parted from us in great satisfaction over 
the pittance they received. " Morning time ? " they 
inquired ; and we found to our amazement that they 
were actually offering themselves for another wild- 
goose chase. We should certainly want them, so we 
beamed upon them and echoed, " morning time." 

The first I knew of the morning was Anemone's 
voice inquiring, " Watchman, what of the night ? 
The morning cometh that's all I've had to be 
thankful for. I've been feeding on paint all night. 
They've evidently just painted my room, and I know 
they've painted me. I'm coated inside and out. I've 
spent the night wondering whether it was you or me 
whom I should wake up to find dead." Anemone is 
Irish, too, on her mother's side. 

We were still alive, it appeared, though it seemed 
doubtful whether we should remain so as we dressed 
ourselves in our damp and draggled clothes. They 



288 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

might just as well be wet at the start, as Shanghai 
was continuing her lengthy bath, and torrents of 
rain were washing the window-panes. 

We paid our modest account and then reseated 
ourselves in the rickshaws. The faithful coolies had 
been waiting outside the door from early dawn. We 
had another long useless search and then came to 
a rather peculiar decision. We determined to go to 
the nice looking house which we had been told was 
quite full when we went there the previous evening. 

"They said they had no room," I reminded 
Anemone. 

"Never mind," she said. "They must find us a 
niche of some sort." 

We presented ourselves at the door, and instead of 
asking " Mississi have got ? " we took that for granted 
and demanded, "Mississi wanchee see." We were 
shown into a charming sitting - room and Mississi 
appeared. She was a little woman, with a pale, 
lined face and pointed foxy features. She wore a 
rusty black hat, fur slippers on her feet, and her 
hands were thrust deep into the pockets of a long 
brown ulster. 

" Have you rooms to let ? " we inquired. 

" No, I have nothing at all," she responded in such 
a deep tragic voice that Anemone jumped and I 
laughed, which was incorrect, but seemed to establish 
better relations. 

" I shall have by-and-by, when the American Con- 
sul goes," she continued. 

This sounded promising, and Anemone begged her 
to find some corner for us meantime. We should 
eventually want two bedrooms and a private sitting- 
room. For the time being we could do with one bed- 
room between us. 



SHANGHAI. 289 

Miss Wake poised herself with one foot on the 
fender, her finger in her mouth and her eyes star- 
ing vacantly at her toes. 

"You could have this for your private sitting- 
room," she said at last, " if you would allow some 
of my gentlemen boarders to chow here. They're 
busy men. They'll only chow here twice a-day, 
that'll be all you'll see of them. It'll be nicer for 
you to chow in company." 

We had great doubts about this, but saw nothing 
for it but to agree. 

' What's through there ? " I asked, pointing to an 
open door with a screen across it. 

" Oh ! that's the bedroom of Herr von Fink a very 
charming German gentleman. He only comes here to 
sleep. His nights are short. You needn't mind. He 
won't disturb you." 

' We'll be able to have the door shut, of course." 

" No, I'm sorry you won't. He goes in for the 
open-air cure. He specially stipulates that the door 
shall be left open." 

This did not please us, but again there seemed no 
help for it, especially as, until the departure of the 
American Consul, we were still unprovided with a 
bedroom. 

' Will this do for you for the present ? It's very 
small, I admit, but there's just space to get two 
beds into it, I think," said Miss Wake, indicating 
a minute apartment filled up with boxes. 

" Whose are those ? " I asked. 

" Oh ! an American gentleman keeps them here 
just empty cases. He's in the north himself writ- 
ing books. He's a celebrated author, you know," 
and she seemed to expect us to feel honoured by 
the sight of his belongings. 



290 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

In addition to the deep tragic voice making all 
Miss Wake's speeches impressive, they were inter- 
esting as well on account of the extraordinary 
blend of accents she had cultivated. The basis 
was Scotch, with a superstructure of Australian 
cockney. There were evident American and Chinese 
additions, with a finish of rollicking r's and broad 
vowel sounds that was wholly original. Her manner 
was most dramatic, and her hand action alone would 
have gained her the part of leading lady in a 
theatrical company. 

She was very prompt in all she undertook. We 
went away to fetch our things, and when w r e came 
back a transformation scene had taken place in the 
small apartment. The boxes had vanished. Two 
beds took their places. Anemone and I sat up in 
them to eat our dinner, as we did not feel equal 
to encountering the " gentlemen boarders" the first 
evening. Miss Wake came in to keep us company, 
and sat on the dressing - table as there was no 
room for any chairs. She thought we should feel 
more at home if she gave us a slight sketch of the 
people with whom we should have to " chow." 

" There's an American gentleman. You mustn't 
mind him," she said. " He comes from the Peking 
Legations. The siege made him queer in the head 
quite a convenient queerness ; he never speaks 
that's the way it's taken him. Then there's 
Huyghens he's very old family. He came over 
to England with William of Orange very old, of 
course, I mean before that. Then there's Vrouw" 
(the name was not Vrouw, but that was the nearest 
we got to it) "he's Scandinavian, in the past, of 
course, a Viking his people, I mean. He's one of 
the heads of the telegraph, so he always wants his 



SHANGHAI. 291 

meals to the moment chop chop. There's Mr Bull, 
too Septimus Bull. Ah ! you'll like him. He's 
worthy. He takes great interest in the Young 
Men's Christian Association ; " and, having stamped 
this hall-mark of respectability upon this personage 
with the strange appellation, Mississi Wake removed 
the remains of our dinner, and wished us good-night 
in the voice of Lady Macbeth. 

Next morning she presented us with the servi- 
tor who was to "maid" us, or rather "boy" us, 
and look after us generally. Globe-trotters descant 
upon the uniformity of all Chinese, but in reality 
they vary very distinctly. This particular China 
boy was certainly unlike any other we ever came 
across. He shrouded every statement in the deepest 
mystery, and prefaced the most ordinary announce- 
ments by rolling his eyes from corner to corner, 
placing his finger on his lips and hissing " Sh ! sh ! 
sh ! " through closed teeth. At tiffin time, instead 
of copying the English butler's solemn intimation, 
"luncheon is served," this strange Celestial tiptoed 
towards us, held up his finger, and whispered con- 
fidentially, " Sh ! sh ! sh ! chow ! " 

Miss Wake having introduced us by hearsay to 
the members of the establishment, now presented 
them in person and then left us to their society. 
We recognised each after the graphic description. 
The American who had turned queer in the head 
after the siege of the Legations shuffled to his place 
and sat with his eyes glued to his plate. Mr 
Huyghens sat by Anemone and did the honours. 
His conversation was interminable and quite inter- 
fered with her repast. The Viking was small and 
plump, and as much unlike one's idea of his ances- 
tors as any descendant could be. He called us 



292 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

" ze ladees," and quite embarrassed us by his com- 
plimentary remarks. Mr Septimus Bull was middle- 
aged, and had a smile like the Cheshire cat's. 
Benevolence exuded from every feature, but he had 
scarcely even heard of the Y.M.C.A., so that par- 
ticular recommendation of Miss Wake's was proved 
entirely fictitious. He considered himself a serious- 
minded man, however, addicted to improving con- 
versation, and was much puzzled by our hilarity, 
which placed him in the predicament of appearing 
to pose as a wit. The whole company seemed to 
appreciate the presence of " ze ladees," and Anemone 
decided that we might have done worse, for, except 
at tiffin and dinner time, we had the entire and 
exclusive use of the " chow room," and as it was 
comfortable and well furnished we were ready to 
pay Miss Wake the rather exorbitant price she 
asked. 

We were, however, a little disconcerted next 
evening by an unexpected intrusion. The screen 
was pushed aside and a German gentleman, pre- 
sumably Herr von Fink, made his way into the 
room. He stopped upon seeing us and looked con- 
siderably startled. 

" Please don't move. Please make yourselves com- 
fortable," he said with a great show of politeness. 

We let him understand that he really need not 
trouble to invite us to do this. We were perfectly 
comfortable, and had been so all the afternoon. 
Then, as he did not go, but stood in an un- 
certain way grasping the back of a chair, we 
thought we had better set him an example in 
correct behaviour, so we got up, bowed stiffly, and 
left the room. It was a nuisance to have to spend 
the next hour sitting upon our beds, but we forgot 



SHANGHAI. 293 

to mention the incident to Miss Wake, as our 
thoughts were taken up by ordering in a piano. 
A dozen coolies arrived with it next day, and Miss 
Wake appeared just as they were establishing it in 
the sitting-room. 

"A piano in here?" said Miss Wake. "Oh! I 
can't have that." 

' Why ever not ? " we asked in astonishment, and 
Miss Wake seemed to have no reason to give. In- 
deed, when she saw the piano opened she became 
interested, and volunteered the fact that she played 
the mandoline. 

" Bring it here and I'll try your accompaniments," 
suggested Anemone. 

Miss Wake brought it, and for the next half hour 
scratched and scraped with a stiffened fore-arm, as 
though she were polishing a floor. Anemone lost 
some of the effects in her efforts as accompanist, 
but I was the unhappy audience, and to me it 
seemed as though the teeth of China's entire 
population were chattering simultaneously in four 
hundred million heads. 

Again that evening the screen was pushed aside 
and the German gentleman appeared before us. 

" Good evening," he said. " I am very glad you 
are so comfortable. Ah ! I see a piano " and he 
looked still more surprised. 

Anemone was so anxious to know why a piano 
should be regarded as such a great innovation that 
she invited Herr von Fink to be seated, and he sat 
down on the extreme edge of a chair in a hesitat- 
ing way. He was certainly nice looking, and most 
gentlemanly. He wore a black suit that harmonised 
with his melancholy expression, and contrasted with 
the fairness of his hair and short pointed beard. 



294 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

He spoke English so perfectly that he condescended 
to talk in German, and Anemone and I enjoyed 
practising that language again. When we went to 
dress for dinner we both agreed in our favourable 
opinion, and supposed that he had thought it only 
polite to come and pay us a call. We wished Mr 
Huyghens were a little more like him. Anemone 
greatly objected to that individual, he was so 
inquisitive. He was always commenting upon the 
house being so full, and throwing out hints that 
he would like to know where Miss Wake had made 
room for us. All such inquiries Anemone treated 
in a high and mighty manner, and merely said that 
Miss Wake had made us very comfortable, which 
was scarcely accurate. 

On the fifth day after our arrival we had finished 
tiffin, and Anemone and I had left the room just 
ahead of the others, when our boy tiptoed up to 
us, with his finger signalling caution as usual. 
" Sh ! sh ! sh ! One piecee foleign man makee come 
back." 

We were not left a moment in doubt as to the 
meaning of this explanation, for behind the boy there 
stalked a tall American, and Yankee accents de- 
manded loudly in the full hearing of Mr Huyghens, 
Mr Septimus Bull, the Viking, &c., "Are you the 
two ladies who've taken my room ? " 

We were not really guilty, for though we appeared 
to have erred, it had all been done in ignorance, but 
all the same we felt terribly upset. However, being 
women, and Irish into the bargain, we heightened 
complications by beginning to laugh. At first we 
laughed feebly, and then more violently, regardless 
of the fact that the " celebrated author" (whose 
books we have subsequently perused with particular 



SHANGHAI. 295 

interest) was behaving magnificently apologising 
profusely to make up for our deficiencies, assuring us 
that ladies must on no account be troubled, and that 
he could go perfectly well to the Astor House Hotel. 

" You explain," said Anemone, who always left me 
the unpleasant transactions. 

I delivered my explanation, such as it was, with 
tears deluging my cheeks ; and they could hardly 
have been taken for signs of contrition, as such queer 
sounds emanated from Anemone in the background. 
The American author backed down the staircase, pro- 
testing that the Astor House was the very place for 
him, that he had never been less incommoded, or 
indeed more pleasantly surprised, in his life. But 
he left his razor and shaving-brush behind him, for 
Anemone found them on her bed. 

" I shall never, never, never," she moaned, " be able 
to hold up my head again before Huyghens." 

I took no notice, for I was admonishing Fido, as 
Anemone had named our servitor, to search high and 
low over the premises for the truly guilty Miss Wake. 

She discreetly vanished until the evening, and then 
she treated the matter as unworthy her concern. 
11 He's a man/ 7 she said. " He can shift for himself. 
I never put myself about for men. They're not 
worth it. No successful woman ever does. Take 
the Dowager-Empress of China, for instance. There's 
success for you ! How did she get it ? By bothering 
her head about a man ? Not she ! She bothered 
about a woman. When she was the secondary wife 
of Hsienfng, did she go whining to the Emperor? 
No ! She kept in with the Empress, and so she 
came to be Empress herself. That's the secret keep 
in with women ! Keep in with women, and men 
won't fall out with you." 



296 



CHAPTEE XXIII. 

SHANGHAI. 

THE American Consul left. Anemone and I were 
transferred to his room. The American author was 
able to return, and order once more reigned at 
" Wan-Shao-Shan," as we named Miss Wake's estab- 
lishment, for, owing to her admiration for the Em- 
press - Dowager, we thought it suitable to call the 
abode after the summer palace of that far - famed 
dignitary. Mr Huyghens also left, to Anemone's 
great relief; but we could not pounce upon his room, 
as it was immediately filled by a young man whom 
Miss Wake described as " an historical character- 
Robert the Bruce." He was a nice young fellow, 
and he was musical. So was Mr Septimus Bull. 
They highly approved of the piano, and petitioned 
for " musical evenings." This was more than we felt 
equal to, so, to avoid them, we had to spend the 
evenings up-stairs. Miss Wake quite approved. 

" That's right," she said ; " keep yourselves to 
yourselves. I do the same. I've made it my rule 
through life." 

The coolie also approved. His chief attendance was 
on the fire, but he assumed a paternal guardianship 
over us as well. When questioned as to our where- 
abouts he never vouchsafed any information, but 



SHANGHAI. 297 

silenced inquiries by stating with dignity, " Belong 
ploper lady. Go topside." 

As the "gentlemen boarders" could not indulge in 
musical evenings with us, they decided to have 
musical evenings without us, and one night Miss 
Wake burst into our room with a terrified coun- 
tenance : " Bull's thumping on the piano. Robert 
the Bruce has brought down his music, and Fink will 
soon be in." 

We saw no reason why he should stay out, and 
though Miss Wake was trembling with agitation, we 
did not waste much sympathy. Our annoyance was 
given vent to next day when we found the piano 
transferred to our bedroom, which was already so full 
that we were hardly able to turn. We shared a 
writing-table, and the litter on it led to so many 
differences of opinion that we agreed to go halves 
in no other article of furniture ; and so we had 
a dressing-table apiece, a wardrobe apiece, a bed 
apiece, though mine was a camp one, which only did 
duty by night and descended during the day. We 
were obliged to share a large dress-stand. Anemone 
called it the " merry-go-round," but I thought it was 
more like a " merry-andrew," as it had an irritating 
habit of tumbling over whenever one wanted any- 
thing off it in a hurry ; and both the boy and the 
coolie had to come to our assistance before it could 
be raised again. However, Miss Wake declared we 
must be comfortable. She said it was proved by 
Anemone growing fatter every day. To obviate the 
overcrowding of our room she arranged a system of 
pulleys, by which the furniture could be drawn up to 
the ceiling, and merely pulled down when actually 
in use. Anemone did not appreciate this scheme as 
much as Miss Wake expected. She said her nerves 



298 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

would be shattered if she spent her life in jeopardy 
with the merry-go-round suspended above her head. 
Consequently Miss Wake was not allowed to take 
out a patent for the invention, though we admired 
her ingenuity, which was also much appreciated by 
Herr von Fink. He often called upon us, and was 
always so melancholy that Anemone said we must 
look upon it as a positive duty to cheer him up. He 
had a friend in some distant chamber of the establish- 
ment, a young German Count, who seemed to be in 
a permanent condition of approaching dissolution, so 
that his society rather depressed than enlivened Herr 
von Fink. The latter appeared to be deploring the 
evil consequences of twenty duels, since the honour 
and glory of having been always victor could not 
counterbalance the havoc wrought upon other lives. 

Anemone and I had not, however, much time to 
devote to the other members of the establishment, 
as directly every one knew that Benjamin was in 
Peking with the Allies we were ranked as " military 
ladies," and were at once in the full swing of 
Shanghai hospitalities. A military element was new 
to Shanghai, and was consequently warmly welcomed. 
No Shanghai belle was in fashion without a military 
beau. 

It was a curious place that Far Eastern emporium. 
It was so strangely cosmopolitan, and the features of 
the Orient and the Occident were so intermingled 
that one seemed to step backwards and forwards from 
Europe to Asia at different bends in the roads. At 
that time the streets were more than usually thronged 
by people of all nationalities. Smart little Gurkhas 
swaggered past German soldiers. Sikhs and Baluchis 
marvelled greatly at a Frenchwoman in bloomers. 
Missionaries in Chinese dress brushed by English 



SHANGHAI. 299 

" bobbies " and Sikh and Chinese policemen. Stately 
Chinamen marched along the pavements, and small- 
footed Chinawomen quavered across the roads. Here 
and there one noticed a Korean in a tall hat, or a 
French officer bestriding a miniature Annamite pony, 
while the daughters of a go-ahead Chinese compra- 
dore were actually seen mounted on bicycles. 

Anemone and I went in daily terror of having our 
careers cut short by wheel-barrows. They are the 
most popular native conveyances, and were proto- 
types, Anemone believed, of Irish jaunting - cars. 
When occupied by half a dozen passengers they 
need a great deal of elbow, or rather foot, room, and 
Anemone thought it would be quite possible to end 
one's days ignominiously under one, if not already run 
over by a China pony instead. These latter, driven 
by mafoos, the Chinese equivalent for coachmen, 
rushed along as precipitately as though bound for the 
land's end of China instead of the top of the Bubbling 
Well Road. In those days there were only two 
principal drives to be taken in Shanghai : the one to 
the Point was not much patronised ; along the other, 
the Bubbling Well Road, the carriages raced helter- 
skelter, and when they reached the terminus started 
back at the same furious pace. It is quite a relief to 
Anemone to hear that forty miles of road have since 
been added round Shanghai, and that the speed of the 
China ponies would have found an outlet had it not 
been for such innovations as electric trams and motor- 
cars. In fact, Shanghai has so altered that the town 
we knew is scarcely existent a great up-to-date city 
has taken its place. All manner of occupants drove 
in the carriages, from Chinese women with ornaments 
in their hair and powder and paint on their faces to 
brokers, swinging a foot in readiness to jump down 



300 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

and run in and out from office to office, making per- 
haps several thousands of dollars at each call. Their 
ponies scuttled along with even more frenzy than all 
the others, and the lucky possessor of the fastest pony 
was expected to make the biggest pile. 

The first time Anemone and I dined out we made 
sure we need not start too early in view of the rate of 
speed of our steed. What we miscalculated was the 
fact that the mafoo might be oblivious of where he 
was going, but we realised it when we arrived three- 
quarters of an hour late, and found all the guests, 
except the hero of the hour, who had been specially 
invited to meet us, well on the way to losing their 
tempers, while the hero himself, with unruffled serenity, 
asserted that it was finer to retrieve defeat than to be 
successful at first. By way of demonstrating the fact 
we arrived half an hour early at the next dinner-party 
to which we were asked. After that we began to be 
able to judge of the idiosyncrasies of China ponies and 
their drivers, and knew how much time to allow. 

The dinners in Shanghai were lengthy. A multi- 
plicity of courses is the Chinese idea of a sumptu- 
ous banquet, and it is easier to yield to the theories 
of Chinese servants than to oppose them in any way. 
At one house, where the hospitality was lavish, the 
luncheon-party guests used to be still sipping their 
coffee when the callers arrived for afternoon tea, and 
before tea was finished it was highly probable that 
the dinner guests would come in to swell the throng. 

It seemed rather the fashion in Shanghai for men 
to live in great style and then die, leaving their 
families destitute. It was said to be a necessity to 
keep up appearances, for otherwise people would know 
that the businesses were not prospering. We after- 
wards heard that some of the repasts which we par- 



SHANGHAI. 301 

took of were provided at the expense of Chinese 
compradores, and we understood something of what 
the missionaries meant when they said it was easier 
to preach Christianity anywhere than in a treaty 
port. But of what happened behind the scenes we 
were spared much knowledge. All that came to 
our notice was the kindness we received in English- 
looking homes from charming cosmopolitan hosts and 
hostesses. 

We had some surprises when we returned first calls. 
On one occasion we were startled by the announce- 
ment that " Mississi have one piecee bull chilo," and 
as we both had a horror of anything horned, we fled 
away without telling the boy to offer congratulations 
on the birth of a son and heir, thereby once more- 
lowering ourselves in Chinese esteem. 

The Bubbling Well Road was an annoyance to 
Anemone ; both the well and the bubble were so 
insignificant that she considered it as absurd to name 
a long road after them, as it was for the China ponies 
to rush along that road at such a furious pace. Off 
the Bubbling Well Road was the Country Club, which 
opened its doors to the " military," though civilians, 
had to wait years before gaining admittance to its- 
select membership. We used to go there for tea- 
parties and dances, and what with numbers of private 
entertainments, most evenings were filled with gaiety 
of some sort. 

The most original dances were known as the " Cus- 
toms' Formal and Informal," and were held at the 
China Customs' Club. The elite of Shanghai attended 
in select parties as one does at a county ball. There 
were two sorts of China Customs' people the indoor 
and outdoor Customs so we were given to under- 
stand. Though the social distinction between them 



302 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

was marked, all mingled at the Customs' Club dances, 
which were known by their respective titles, because 
evening dress was obligatory at the " formal," while 
at the " informal" it was optional. We knew several 
men in the China Customs who had come back from 
the interior, where they had been sent to live alone 
among Chinese in rooms decorated from floor to ceiling 
with Chinese characters. After several years of such 
existence a slight knowledge of the written language 
is said to be possible. We did not wonder that the 
Customs' dances were a little out of the common if in 
any way connected with the study of Chinese. The 
first we went to was a "formal." The evening dress 
was remarkable, to say the least. We saw one crea- 
tion of red plush and mauve satin combined in alter- 
nate stripes. Another dress was of crimson serge ; it 
was cut very low in the bodice ; so if the material was 
not usual for evening wear, the wearer had done her 
best to make up for it by the style. The " outdoor 
Customs " took great pains with their dancing. One 
cavalier practised the waltz step in single blessed- 
ness. Another counted " one, two, three, one, two, 
three," conscientiously, as he pulled his partner round 
and round. He seemed to dance with the same lady 
all the evening, but evidently found her heavy, for 
when it came to the Highland schottische he suggested 
that they might as well dance the whole of it singly, 
and Anemone and I found them in opposite corners 
jumping round in a relieved way now that they were 
unencumbered by each other's weight. 

That winter the Caledonians and the Saratoga 
Lancers were much in vogue at the Customs' Formals. 
We found them convenient for bestowing upon people 
with whom we did not wish to dance, for the chief 
feature of them seemed that one never saw one's own 



SHANGHAI. 303 

partner after the first introductory bow, the conse- 
quent drawback being that the selectness of one's 
party did not now profit one in the least. I found 
myself perpetually confronted by a man with a shaggy 
head and a face like a sheep. " Are you complete ? " 
he always asked me earnestly, and seemed rather hurt 
because I, having no notion what he intended, was 
never once able to make a suitable reply. Whenever 
Anemone paused at a loss as to the next figure she 
invariably found herself seized by a certain harbour- 
master who had been deafened by a cannon in the 
Chino- Japanese war. Consequently he was blandly 
unconscious of Anemone's protestations, and she found 
that there was no escape from him except by dancing 
most vigorously with somebody else. I grew to under- 
stand that a sudden disappearance of Anemone simply 
meant her temporary annihilation on the harbour- 
master's chest. In spite of such drawbacks the 
Customs' dances were very popular, and the repre- 
sentatives of the armed forces of Europe were most 
assiduous in attendance at them. 

Anemone preferred to patronise private parties, but 
this meant making some return on our part, and so, 
in the middle of December, we decided to give a big 
" At Home." We gave Fido full directions in the 
morning, and early in the afternoon we went placidly 
up-stairs to dress. We descended again five minutes 
before the hour at which our guests were invited, and 
found Miss Wake engaged in turning out the room. 

" As you seemed to be stopping topside, I thought 
I'd take the opportunity to give it a good cleaning," 
she vouchsafed as explanation, while Fido looked on 
meekly, having evidently not dared to interfere. 

It was an awful moment, but we managed to keep 
our heads. 



304 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

" Fetch chairs," cried Anemone ; and we did not 
notice that the coolie brought them out of Herr von 
Fink's room. 

I pushed the tables into their places, and Fido laid 
the tea things. Anemone helped Miss Wake put up 
the clean curtains, and then came a ring at the front 
door. In the passage we could hear the footsteps of 
the first arrival, and there lay the soiled curtains in 
a heap upon the floor. 

" What shall I do with these ? " I gasped. 

" Throw them over the screen," said Miss Wake. 

Over the screen they went first the curtains, fol- 
lowed, with a terrific clatter, by the rods and the 
rings. The screen nearly fell over, but Anemone 
clutched it in time and saved a further catastrophe. 
Miss Wake and the coolie ran out at the door and 
nearly upset the first arrival, a tiny French naval 
officer, who stared at our heated countenances in con- 
siderable surprise. Soon after, every one appeared, 
and to judge by the noise and the laughing our party 
was an immense success. 

" I hope von Fink hasn't come in. This would 
drive him distracted/' Anemone whispered to me in 
the middle. 

As a matter of fact, at that moment a fever- stricken 
man was wearily dressing, after which he left his 
apartment and found refuge in the room of his sick 
friend. We only knew this some evenings later, when 
Herr von Fink invited us to dine with him at the 
Astor House Hotel to hear the German Emperor's 
favourite naval band. The Count was also there, 
having recovered for the time being ; and it was he 
who divulged the fact than von Fink had been suffer- 
ing from malaria on the occasion of our "At Home." 
Herr von Fink admitted that he had been startled 



SHANGHAI. 305 

out of sleep by seeing the coolie fetch all the chairs 
out of his room, and a minute afterwards he had been 
suddenly buried under a bundle of curtains, and only 
narrowly escaped being killed by a blow from a 
curtain - rod. His fever had apparently been much 
augmented by anxiety lest the screen should fall 
over, but now he made light of the whole matter, 
and was not best pleased with the Count for alluding 
to the episode. 

" I am so glad that you should give parties in my 
private sitting-room," he said. " I am so little in it 
myself. I am glad it should be of some use." 

:< Your private sitting-room ? " cried Anemone. 

" Your private sitting-room ! " I gasped. 

" Yes, my private sitting - room," said Herr von 
Fink. " I have been so pleased all through to see 
you make use of it." 

Once again Anemone and I understood that Miss 
Wake had been playing " Box and Cox " with the 
rooms. It took longer to enlighten Herr von Fink 
on the subject ; and when he discovered that several 
men had been in the habit of taking their meals in 
his private apartment he registered a vow to give 
Miss Wake a piece of his mind. But this donation 
was not easy to offer, as Miss Wake suddenly vanished 
from the premises of Wan-Shao-Shan. " No have got. 
Have go out," was all the house boy vouchsafed in 
answer to inquiries ; and it was Christmas time before 
she reappeared, trusting that "goodwill to all men" 
would obliterate delinquencies, I suppose. 

Anemone was depressed about Christmas. It was 
the first she had spent so far from home. I hoped to 
rouse her spirits by giving her a present, which I did 
up in the dark, so that she should not see it, and then 
crept across the room to lay it on the table by her 

u 



306 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

bed. On the way I suddenly collided with her. She 
was evidently bound on the same errand, so we dis- 
creetly made no observations, but assumed that it 
was most natural for us both to be taking exercise 
in the dark. 

We each found one solitary gift next morning ; and 
after thanking each other rapturously, we started out 
for the cathedral, where the Shanghai residents were 
hunting for their pews, which many of them occupied 
once a-year, and so had a little difficulty in finding 
them. We came back by the bund, and most of the 
vessels in the river, including some of the Chinese, 
were dressed in honour of Christmas Day. The 
British men - of - war were decorated with tiny 
Christmas-trees at the top of the masts, and on one 
" A Merry Christmas " was stretched in green - leaf 
letters from stem to stern. 

Anemone did not think it merry at all, as she 
ate slices of turkey and plum-pudding at Wan-Shao- 
Shan. However, we had the paper-hunt to go to in 
the afternoon the special big paper - hunt of the 
season, and this year the China ponies had to test 
their powers beside Arabs and Walers and Indian 
country - breds. They were found wanting in many 
ways. A jump ten feet in width was the most they 
could attain to ; but they were much the best suited 
to the eccentricities of Chinese cross-country work, 
and were surest footed on the narrow stone bridges 
over the innumerable creeks that intersect the 
country round Shanghai. We were told that in 
most parts water was to be found six feet below 
the ground, and that on one occasion the steam- 
roller sank bodily through the bund into a swamp. 
It was therefore scarcely to be wondered that the 
Shanghai climate was damp, and that the Christmas 



SHANGHAI. 307 

Day we spent there was like many Christmases in 
England not frosty, but cold, in a moist, penetrat- 
ing way. 

We had a long cross-country walk. In every 
direction the scenery was flat. The creeks were 
hidden till one came up close ; and here and there 
one saw junks, with full sails spread, apparently 
travelling through the cotton-fields. Everywhere the 
ground was dotted with grass or gravel mounds the 
obtrusive graves of defunct Chinese. North, south, 
east, and west, China parades the fact of being a 
vast cemetery. The mounds are levelled at a change 
of dynasty ; and this being the case one sees a reason 
for no dynasty having ever lasted very, very long. 
Judging by the appearance of the country round 
Shanghai, Anemone thought it high time for the 
Manchus to end their rule. 

Quite a large crowd of Chinese as well as 
Europeans assembled to see the finish of the paper- 
hunt. Women and children came hurrying up, and 
screamed with laughter whenever any one was 
thrown or a horse or pony jibbed at the last jump. 
When all was over we were invited to a special tea- 
party at a charming house beyond the village of 
Jessfield, and after it Anemone and I had a second 
tea in an officer's hut in the Baluchi Camp. It 
was dark by the time the rickshaw coolies raced 
home with us. The air had grown sharper ; there 
was a frosty look about the stars and the clear new 
moon. In the Maloo the Chinese still toiled, and 
the red lantern light flickered on their bulky forms. 
They wear no underclothing as a rule, but in the 
winter pad their outer garments with cotton -wool 
and use their coat sleeves as muffs. 

In Wan-Shao-Shan the " gentlemen boarders " were 



308 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

absent. We only met Miss Wake creeping on tiptoe 
through the house. Since her reappearance her 
manner had been more strange than usual. We 
had caught her listening at doors, and she made 
no secret of reading our correspondence. We no 
longer wondered how she came to know the private 
histories of so many people in Shanghai. All the 
same, her thin white face was so pathetic that we 
showed our indignation by pressing her to come 
and talk to us that Christmas night. She con- 
sented, and gave us an outline of her career, and 
told us how a faithful adorer had pursued her from 
Scotland to China, in fact, whatever fresh place she 
went to, whenever she looked out of the window- 
there he was ! By dint of doing without fresh air 
she thought she had at last given him the slip. 

" Good thing too," she said. " I haven't the 
patience to sit down to marriage. I couldn't be 
bothered. Life's too short. I haven't the time." 

This reminded her that the evening was waning, 
and with it all sorts of opportunities for investigat- 
ing the private affairs of the "gentlemen boarders," 
who would probably stay out late. So she slipped 
noiselessly out of our room and wriggled along the 
passage, keeping close to the wall, and looking more 
like a phantom than a living being, while overhead 
we heard hobbling footsteps and the " tap, tap, tap " 
of a stick. We knew it was only a back - stair 
lodger one of a mysterious little company who 
were quartered in an upper region, and whom Miss 
Wake never allowed in and out the front way. 
Having decided that Miss Wake was mad, we went 
on to discuss apparitions, as Anemone thought there 
was no fear of thieves, our room was hidden away 
so far down the passage, and what with all the 



SHANGHAI. 309 

furniture in it she was sure there would not be a 
corner available for any intruder more substantial 
than a ghost. If any of the latter arrived I said 
their visit that evening would be opportune, as I 
felt " fey " and in the mood to see spirits ; and 
after Anemone had fallen asleep I lay awake till 
the last red spark in the fire had faded and the 
room was left totally dark. Then I slept too, and 
knew nothing till I heard Anemone asking, "What 
do you want? What do you want?" Then in the 
most matter-of-fact tone of voice, as though she 
were announcing the presence of a mosquito or 
beetle, she called to me, " Light the candle, will 
you, Griselda; there's a sailor in the room!" 

I opened startled eyes to see a tall bluejacket 
move from Anemone's bedside and take up his 
position at the foot of mine. He held a lighted 
match in his hand, and as it burnt down he dropped 
it and struck another and held it up. He wore no 
cap, so one could not tell which was his ship. He 
looked quite young, and his face was very pale. 
His eyes were wide open, and stared straight in 
front of him. Every now and then he gave a little 
moan. 

" Leave the room at once ! " I commanded, and 
Anemone jumped out of bed and most politely held 
the door open for him. 

The sailor turned round obediently and walked 
straight out of the room. Anemone shut the door, 
got back into bed, and fell asleep immediately. The 
bluejacket paced up and down the passage ; I could 
hear his steady footsteps. Then a cane-chair creaked, 
and I knew that he had sat down opposite our door. 
It did not seem quite proper to leave him there, I 
thought; so I put on my opera-cloak and rang for 



310 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OP GRISELDA. 

the China boy. When I heard him run down-stairs 
I joined him outside. The sailor sat in the chair 
with his legs stretched out in front of him ; his 
arms hung limply beside him ; his eyes remained 
fixed and staring, and every now and then he 
repeated his little moan. 

The house boy interviewed him politely. "You 
belong Inglis ? You belong sailor man ? Thinkee 
more better makee sleepee ship side." 

He whispered to me that he thought he " belong 
tipsy man/' but I did not agree. There was no 
appearance of drink about this mysterious visitor, 
who suddenly rose to his feet and walked steadily 
along the passage, down two long flights of stairs, 
and out at the front door. I went back to bed ; 
and in the morning Anemone and I wondered 
whether we had both had the same strange dream, 
especially as we could not find a single match -end 
on the floor. 

But before we were dressed Miss Wake knocked 
at our door. " What is this I hear about a sailor 
in your room ? " she asked severely, evidently think- 
ing it wise to forestall our complaint. 

" What indeed, Miss Wake ? " we inquired ; but 
neither Miss Wake nor anybody else could offer any 
explanation about our midnight visitor. The Viking 
acknowledged at tiffin that he had come in last and 
had forgotten to bolt the passage door. He had 
always posed as a great protector of " ze ladees," but 
now he confessed that when he heard footsteps in the 
night he had done nothing more than lock himself 
into his room. He apparently did not think it worth 
while to run any risks, as he had grown very annoyed 
with us lately, owing to our preferring Mr Septimus 
Bull's sage observations to his witticisms, while any 



SHANGHAI. 311 

interest we showed in Robert the Bruce enraged him 
beyond words. He now cut me altogether, and his 
bow to Anemone consisted of a faint flicker of his 
eyelids. He hurried through his meals, and before 
the rest of us had half done he waddled out of the 
room, his plump little body quivering with rage. He 
went to Miss Wake for commiseration evidently, for 
one day she suggested that we had better leave. 

" This house," she said, " is more suited to gentle- 
men than ladies. Before, I had everything my own 
way. Since you came, I don't seem able to call a 
corner my own. It seems to me I'll lose possession 
of my soul and body soon." 

" You answer her," said Anemone, retiring to the 
sofa and, as usual, leaving me the unpleasant work. 

As it happened, we had just heard from Benjamin 
that he saw no reason why we should not be in 
Peking, so we had planned going there, via Shan- 
hai-kwan, under the escort of Robert the Bruce, who 
was going north. He had already lent us his revolver 
to familiarise us with its use, for he thought we might 
need one, as the railway from Shan-hai-kwan was 
guarded by Cossacks at that time. Even the C.R.E. 
had entered into our plan, and suggested that we could 
pad our clothes with cotton-wool and paper to pre- 
serve us from the cold, and wear our opera-cloaks 
over our winter coats and attach portable stoves all 
round. He only stipulated that, in return for his 
assistance, he should be allowed to snapshot us when 
ready dressed in our travelling costumes. Herr von 
Fink had grown gloomier than ever, and could only 
think of his last duel ever since our first suggestion of 
reaching Peking by the Shan-hai-kwan route. Full 
of these ideas we felt half way there already, and, in 
consequence, were perfectly ready to leave Wan-Shao- 



312 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Shan, as Miss Wake suggested, but I took the oppor- 
tunity to deliver a short treatise upon the subject 
of her perusal of our letters and other transgressions 
of that sort. She evidently thought poor Fido had 
been a tale-bearer, for we overheard her threatening 
him most violently. " Ah ! " she said. " My pay you 
bamboo chow chow " that is, "I will give you a beat- 
ing," or, more literally, " stick food." 

This made us more indignant, for Fido seemed to be 
living up to his appellation and volunteered to accom- 
pany us to the north. His real name was Chi-sai, but 
Anemone said "Fido" was altogether so suitable, as 
it applied to the "dog theory" of Chinese servants 
so prevalent among Shanghai ladies namely, that a 
China boy is of no more account than a dog in the 
room, a notion that must considerably astonish the 
Celestials, whose ideas of decorum will not admit of 
a man and woman even touching hands. 

With Fido ready to accompany us every detail 
seemed in order for starting by the next steamer, and 
we cheerfully agreed to give up our room at once. 
The Viking was very relieved, and gave out that he 
would take his meals in his bedroom till " ze ladees " 
had gone. One item, however, we had quite forgotten. 
It happened to be important, as it was the cost of our 
steamer tickets. When we went to the office to take 
them we found that the sum demanded was not in 
our possession, and we would have to wait, at any 
rate, until our next remittance reached us from 
home. 

This blow was so unexpected that we hardly knew 
how to bear up under our disappointment. It would 
be wretched to watch Eobert the Bruce start without 
us. We felt discontented with ourselves, our circum- 
stances, and our affairs in general. We went to a 



SHANGHAI. 313 

chemist's to buy some salts of lemon, it was only 
to remove an ink-stain ; but our looks were so gloomy 
that the shopman hesitated to supply us. He evi- 
dently thought suicide was in contemplation, and 
only grew easier in his mind when Anemone made 
a further purchase of barley-sugar and acid-drops. 

We were certainly in a dilemma, for our room was 
probably let over our heads. The only thought that 
cheered us was that, if we could manage to remain 
on in it, the Viking would either have to eat humble- 
pie or continue indefinitely to take his meals in his 
bedroom. 



314 



CHAPTEK XXIV. 

SHANGHAI. 

ALTHOUGH Miss Wake preferred to deal with men 
rather than women, it was simply because of the 
respect she felt for the capabilities of her own sex. 

"Men," she said, "have had the management of 
the world for generations. What have they to show 
for it ? Muddle ! Nothing but muddle, so far as 
I can see." 

We were therefore not altogether surprised when 
she made up her difference with us most amicably 
and quite unconcernedly left the Viking in the lurch. 
In spite of our unrighteous exultation we really felt 
concerned. 

" What about his meals ? " we asked. 

" Let him chow in his bedroom. He's a man," she 
said. 

The Viking used to hum and sing as he passed our 
door to show how much he enjoyed tiffin in his self- 
inflicted banishment. Anemone used to sing too, to 
show how happy we were and unconcerned. I thought 
this undignified, but Anemone said no amount of 
dignity could compensate on those occasions for the 
satisfaction of bursting into song. 

We had the prospect of two or three months more 
in Shanghai, and already we had invitations for every 



SHANGHAI. 315 

evening. The parties were not to take place as it 
happened, for the news reached us of the passing of 
the great Queen Empress, and eighty-two guns boomed 
from the men-of-war on the river to tell us that Queen 
Victoria lay dead ; while, like an echo, came the salvo 
of eighty- two guns from the vessels at the mouth of 
the Yangtse, followed by the royal salute of twenty- 
one guns as the mouthpieces of war acclaimed the 
accession of King Edward, the Peace-maker. 

The day on which the commemorative services were 
held was bitterly cold, for an icy wind swept across 
Shanghai, direct from the Gobi desert. We had to 
wait outside the cathedral during the first service, 
which was only for the soldiers and sailors. At the 
close, as they marched out, headed by the principal 
British and foreign officers, the " last post " was 
sounded, and the bagpipes Queen Victoria loved so 
well were skirled by her Indian warriors. A second 
service was held for civilians and volunteers, and 
Anemone and I went to our places in the pews re- 
served for the ladies of the Brigade and the Con- 
sulate. All the Consuls were present in full uniform, 
and the good Viceroy, Liu Kun yi, and his suite were 
in attendance. Bishop Moule took the service, and 
among the clergy were several missionaries with their 
queues tucked under their cassocks. As they slowly 
passed out to the stately rhythm of Chopin's Funeral 
March it was strange to realise that the great Vic- 
torian era was ended, and that in the unseen world 
the commendation had surely been passed, " Well 
done ! thou good and faithful servant ! " 

Although the gaieties were at an end there was 
still plenty to be seen and done in Shanghai. There 
were reviews of Shanghai's defenders, for instance ; 
the Germans, manoeuvring in their wonderful way, 



316 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

so that instead of individual units one seemed to 
watch one united mass of mechanism ; the British 
Indian troops, some very smart at drill, others less 
so, all picturesque in their different coloured uniforms. 
Then there were Shanghai's own particular defenders, 
too the Shanghai Light Horse and the Volunteers, all 
of whom are needed at times like that of the Boxer 
scare, when the rising of the people of the Yangtse 
Valley was only prevented by the wise and firm 
behaviour of Chang Chih Tung and Liu Kun yi, the 
Viceroys of Hankow and Nanking. Shanghai had 
defenders of another sort that hardly appealed to 
the European community, these were the Chinese 
troops themselves, the soldiers looking like ordinary 
coolies, except that they wore a badge to distinguish 
them. Yet they were treated quite seriously. Li 
Hung Chang had come in state to review them, and 
the men had had an energetic day, as they had to 
double backwards and forwards from point to point 
to be reviewed over and over again until Li Hung 
Chang had inspected the full numbers. It was a 
convenient method, as it saved enlisting more men, 
and the commanding officers could appropriate the 
pay of the phantom columns. 

It seems impossible to avoid aspersions upon the 
practice of the Chinese official classes, though their 
system of drawing salaries is none the less equitable 
because it is unlike western methods. Out of the 
revenue which they draw by fees and taxation the 
officials pay through the officers above them a fixed 
sum into the Imperial exchequer, and the balance 
forms their own income. It is only when they 
augment this balance by unfair means that they 
can be accused of corruption. The people whose 
innumerable guilds give them wonderful facility for 



SHANGHAI. 31*7 

co-operation, do not allow official exactions beyond 
a certain point, and, speaking generally, the Chinese 
are said to be taxed less than any other nation. In 
modern days there are still followers to be found of 
the high examples set by the great judges Pao and 
Lan Lu-chow. Chang Chih Tung, for instance, time- 
server though he be called, is said to remain a poor 
man in spite of every opportunity for accumulating 
riches. Yet the attainment of the Confucian ideal 
does not seem generally reached. The sage re- 
nounced his high position in the state of Lu when 
the King no longer obeyed his maxims. He roamed 
the country for thirteen years, refusing office at all 
the courts because the rulers were not prepared to 
carry out his principles. He said, "Riches and 
honour acquired by unrighteousness are to me as a 
floating cloud." Mencius, the great philosopher, who 
lived about a hundred years later than Confucius, and 
whose teachings are included in the Chinese classics, 
had the same character for integrity. With such 
principles as the basis of national thought it is not 
surprising that the commercial honesty of the Chinese 
has become far-famed. In mercantile transactions no 
written agreement, no witnesses are needed ; the 
Chinaman's word is his bond. At the same time 
lying and thieving are only too general. Even Con- 
fucius, accredited sinless, was by no means always 
exact in regard to truth. The best known story of 
his failing in this respect seems characteristic of the 
Chinese. It has often been repeated how Confucius 
sent out word that he was ill in order to avoid 
receiving an unpleasant visitor. The next moment, 
before the caller was out of ear-shot, he played upon 
his harpsichord to give him a more correct idea of 
why admittance had been refused. In this way Con- 



318 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

fucius may be said to have combined politeness and 
honesty ; and his example in this, at any rate, is 
often followed by his countrymen, to the confusion 
of the western point of view, according to which 
his behaviour was rude as well as untruthful. What 
we had felt with the Japanese was total ignorance 
as to whether they were going to cheat or to be 
honest. But we found that when a Chinese had no 
intention of being trustworthy, like Confucius he 
paraded his deception. In consequence, Anemone 
agreed with me that one felt surer of what was 
before one in all dealings with the Celestials. If one 
cannot avoid being cheated, it is, at any rate, some 
safeguard to be forewarned. 

There is something wonderfully reliable about the 
Chinese. The difficulties of their language strengthen 
their memories to such an extent that it seems a 
physical impossibility for them to forget anything. 
In fact, this endowment has become a vice retarding 
the progress of the nation, but it makes it easy to 
understand how soon one finds one is managed by 
instead of managing a Chinese servant. Fido did 
not seem to us a very high moral character. We 
strongly suspected him of smoking opium. In a fit 
of caution one day we decided to lock up our money 
and trinkets, and hide our keys from him. The sequel 
to this forethought was that, when one of the officers 
arrived to escort us on a bicycling expedition, 
Anemone was deprived of a brooch on which, she 
assured me, her whole bicycling costume depended, 
as we could neither of us remember where we had put 
the keys. After keeping our long-suffering friend 
waiting for half an hour we had at last to appeal 
to Fido, who made straight for the hiding - place. 
Thereupon we humbly relinquished everything into 



SHANGHAI. 319 

his keeping, and let him assume the authority suited 
to his antique nationality. 

The coolie was our great stand-by at Wan-Shao- 
Shan. We went to him for advice as to a father, 
and he was always ready to be our monitor. He was 
so particular about us that it was almost a drawback. 
There were all sorts of spectacles that we never 
beheld owing to his ideas of propriety. For instance, 
we wanted to see an opium den. " Get your boy to 
take you," we were advised by an Englishman we met. 
Accordingly one afternoon we summoned Fido. 

" Wanchee go see opium den," we said. 

Fido blushed scarlet, shuffled his feet, and looked 
the picture of embarrassment. 

"Sh! Sh! Makee call coolie," he said, and 
promptly fetched that mild-faced worthy, who was a 
good deal older, and more a man of the world. 

1 What wanchee ? " asked the coolie benignly. 

" Wanchee go see opium den," we repeated meekly. 

" No belong ploper," said the coolie so decidedly 
that we dared not offer one remonstrance, especially 
as Fido was by this time hiding his blushes behind 
the door. 

It was the coolie who made us understand the 
custom of giving presents at the time of the Chinese 
New Year. He mentioned the fact, not by way of 
asking anything for himself, but as being grieved 
and a little shocked that our education had been so 
faulty as to make it necessary for him to have to 
instruct us in such a minor detail. Fido had a 
holiday for the occasion, and came back inebriated. 
It was our turn to express disgusted horror, and the 
coolie quite agreed with our sentiments. He did not 
think it worth while to reprimand Fido, however, 
as he said there was not a chance of his being drunk 



320 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

again for another year. He certainly was the one 
and only Celestial whom we ever saw lost to self- 
respect in that way. 

Dignity is an essential of the Chinese. Even the 
" washeeman " who directed his accounts to " Mrs 
Twowomen," though he could have made a fortune 
on the comic stage, was filled with an indescribable 
dignity that never deserted him. The stateliness of 
a superior Chinese, as he swaggers down the street in 
costly brocades, is unattainable by any barbarian from 
the West, in his skimpy clothes that the Chinese 
consider immodest, outlining as they do the whole 
shape of the figure. Self-esteem may almost be said 
to be a Chinese characteristic free from qualifications. 
The best ladies' tailor in Shanghai thought himself 
equal to Paquin, and did not hesitate to pick and 
choose among his customers, working only for those 
whom he thought would do him credit. Anemone 
declined to be judged by him like a horse, as she 
expressed it, and patronised a humbler individual. 
He did not work for her for long, as they had some 
disagreement over payment. Anemone, wishing to 
be just, finally consented to give him the extra sum 
he demanded, but because he had not been paid at 
once, he now declined to take it. He must " save 
his face," that was even more important than saving 
the money. He must also discontinue his services to 
Anemone. " My too muchee 'flaid," he said reproach- 
fully. 

It did not break Anemone's heart, more especially 
as we had found a Chinese woman to come and work 
for us. We never understood her real social status. 
She seemed a most lady-like person. Her childhood 
had apparently been passed among harrowing scenes 
of bloodshed and revolution. She had been one of 



SHANGHAI. 321 

the thousands of victims of the great Taiping re- 
bellion, for though she had come to no bodily harm 
she had lost her home and her rich, well-born relations. 
Her adopted parents unbound her feet and allowed 
them to grow, and in consequence she had only been 
able to make an inferior marriage. She bemoaned 
her large feet a great deal, and made them responsible 
for most of her misfortunes. If one adopts the real 
Celestial point of view, it is possible to understand 
that a tottery woman may appear very charming 
if one likens her to a lily swaying on its stem, as she 
is described by Chinese writers. Until the system 
has been put a stop to as a whole, no doubt individ- 
ual women will continue to deplore the possession of 
reliable " understandings." 

Our sempstress seemed to be troubled by calamities 
of all sorts. She had a bad son, who was a great 
grief to her ; in fact, she said she would take poison 
were it not that she also had a good son. She pro- 
fessed to see a strong likeness between him and 
Anemone. 

" Belong all same face my good son ; only my son 
more eyebrow," she said, inspecting my sister-in-law. 

Anemone's sense of politeness made her try to look 
flattered, but the attempt was quite a failure, though 
I assured her the good son was certain to be nice- 
looking if he took after his mother. Altogether we 
admired the Chinese women. Many have fair com- 
plexions and good features ; and most are tall, with 
fine upright figures, which, however, are sometimes 
bound in to make them conform more to Celestial 
ideas of propriety. 

A Chinese woman lays claim to no honour through 
the mere fact of being married. That agitating epi- 
sode in her career chiefly involves leaving a home, 



322 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

where she may or may not have been welcomed, for 
the probably unpleasant society of a mother-in-law, 
and perhaps sisters-in-law, who, if the family she has 
entered be a poor one, will get all the work they can 
out of her. It is only when she has produced a son, 
as a guarantor of the continuance of ancestral wor- 
ship, that she gains a personal status. Of course 
there are exceptions. There are love-stories in China 
as elsewhere, and all Chinese women are not by any 
means under subjection. Many a portly Celestial 
trembles before his " mean ones of the inner apart- 
ments." The tongue may be called very appropriately 
"a fire" in the mouths of many Chinese women, but 
their powers of eloquence are not only used for revil- 
ing. There are helpmates to be found in China who 
have a contempt for " foleign women," because they 
consider that they so often "no savvee husbands' 
pidgin." Although the Empress who reigned during 
the Han dynasty is the only legitimate female 
sovereign of Chinese history, there have been other 
regents before Yehonala who usurped the administra- 
tive powers, such, for instance, as the Empress Wu 
in the Tang dynasty, who is said to have "ruled 
with a rod of iron." 

Our work-woman, we were sure, was not a manag- 
ing woman, but her amiability did not seem to have 
profited her. When we questioned her about her 
husband she told us that she was " an autumn fan." 

" Summer makee go, fan no more wanchee," she 
said. 

This explanation did not help us much ; and we only 
found out afterwards, in Mr Giles's most interesting 
book, ' Historic China/ the origin of this expression, 
which implies a neglected wife. A certain favourite 
of Cheng Ti, who reigned B.C. 32-36, sent the Emperor 



SHANGHAI. 323 

a fan, with a poem inscribed on one side in which she 
bewailed the fact that with the " autumn chills " the 
poor fan would be cast on one side. This, she felt, 
was to be her own fate, for while her love was 
faithful, being born of the heart and brain, the 
Emperor's was fleeting, being like many another 
man's mere passing lust of the eye. 

In spite of her troubles our work-woman was very 
sprightly. She considered herself a great medical 
authority, and though we were both in rude health, 
she insisted on prescribing the most unsavoury 
medicines. Pigs' hind feet she looked upon as a 
certain cure for all manner of maladies ; and she had 
an egg solution warranted to remove all evils if used 
as a liniment. She said she had cured her husband 
of something by it. The bad in him had gone out 
into it ; and she proved the fact to her own satisfac- 
tion by asserting that a dog which had happened to 
eat the solution afterwards got mange and promptly 
died. 

Judging by the condition of most of the dogs and 
cats which prowl over China, the dog was likely to 
have had mange in any case. These poor animals' 
diet consists of the leavings of the human beings, and 
the state of their figures proves the intense economy 
of the Chinese. However pitiable their condition, no 
one puts an end to their miseries, for Buddha forbade 
his followers to take life. So a cat may be tied to 
a tree to die in slow torture by way of fulfilling the 
commands of the pitiful Sakyamuni, whose heart 
yearned over the dumb creation as much as over 
humanity, and who, according to legend, even com- 
forted the devil in distress. 

The three doctrines of China Confucianism, 
Taoism, and Buddhism had brought no ray of real 



324 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OP GRISELDA. 

happiness into the sad heart of the poor woman who 
worked for us. The beautiful maxims of Confucius 
and Mencius belonged to the " Church of the 
Learned " the Chinese term for Confucianism. 
She did not know much about them, and systems 
of philosophy, however excellent, have a nasty habit 
of failing at critical moments. Of the abstruse teach- 
ing of the philosopher Lao-tse, who lived just before 
the time of Confucius, she probably knew a great 
deal less, though Lao-tse dealt with wider issues than 
his compatriot, and, in consequence, his teachings are 
a mightier force to-day, for though they have been so 
corrupted in China, the Sh6n-tao, or " Correct Way," 
of Lao-tse is believed to be the origin of the Shinto 
creed, and the old Taoist classic, the Tao-t6h King, 
contains just the helpful, beautiful maxims that one 
could imagine as the indirect inspiration of such 
national conduct as that of the Japanese. Lao-tse 
was a preacher of the Simple Life, and the Tao-t6h 
King might be an appropriate antidote for modern 
restlessness and self - advertisement. The chief 
speculation is upon the " Tao " the " Way," or the 
" Principle of Nature," which permeates the whole 
universe, yet is described as " non-existent," though 
on and by it all things " depend and are produced." 
Chuang-tse, who expounded the " Doctrine of the 
Tao," gave the "Rest in Inaction" as the means of 
becoming " One with the Infinite." Though the 
"Tao" is said to have existed before God, yet 
from it seems to have come the idea of a Supreme 
Being, worshipped as Shang-ti, to whom the super- 
intendence of the world is given, though he is ap- 
parently ranked below the " Three Pure Ones," Lao- 
tse himself being one of the Taoist Trinity. The 
modern religion is said to bear little analogy to the 



SHANGHAI. 325 

teachings of the old-world philosopher. The idea of 
an immortal soul, which appears to have belonged 
to it originally, soon degenerated into a search for 
the elixir of life. A ritual was borrowed from the 
Buddhist religion, and nowadays the Chinese call in 
the priests of either order indiscriminately to exorcise 
demons and practise magic rites. 

We wondered that our sempstress was not con- 
soled by the thought of Kwannon, or Kwan-yin 
as the Chinese name the merciful Goddess of 
Buddhism. There is Amida, too the Buddha of 
"Boundless Light" whose very name sounds so 
attractive. His is the western paradise, paved with 
gold, silver, crystal, and pearls a happy land filled 
with tangible joys. 

Instead of contemplating paradise, our Chinese 
friend seemed much more occupied by the horrible 
hells of the religion, and spent a good deal of time, 
she confessed, gazing at their tortures as depicted in 
one of the temples. Demons were a constant terror 
to her, too, as they seem to be all over China. The 
walls built before entrances are for the purpose of 
stopping the incoming of devils who, fortunately, 
walk straight and cannot go round corners, which 
perhaps accounts for the " way of the transgressors " 
who fly before them being described as " crooked." 
Besides genuine demons, the Chinese consider them- 
selves haunted by the ghosts of the dead, and many 
men and women are said to have committed suicide 
simply in the hope of being able to revenge them- 
selves upon their enemies after death. A joss is 
attached to everything the objects of nature, the 
parts of the body, and almost every known condition 
and employment. How far these are genuinely 
believed in by the uneducated it would be hard to 



326 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

tell. The upper classes, the proud Confucianists, are 
said to be mainly atheistic, though they do not 
hesitate to play upon the superstitions of the lower 
orders. The Emperor sacrifices to Heaven, and all 
classes worship the spirits of their ancestors, for these 
the sceptical " Church of the Learned " acknowledges 
as the only beings from whom the living race may be 
certain of having sprung. 

Whatever ideas cultured Chinese may hold upon 
the hell of the after life, they have not yet done 
away with the hells of their own country. Neither 
Anemone nor I penetrated into a prison, but several 
of our own friends had been eye-witnesses of the 
horrors of their fearful interiors, where the filth is so 
appalling that a great worm is bred which burrows 
under the skin and devours the flesh. Culprits are 
said sometimes to be imprisoned for years before being 
brought up for trial, and plaintiffs and witnesses are 
also placed under detention to ensure their presence 
when required. We saw some prisoners in Shanghai 
walking about with their warders ; they looked well 
and comfortable, although they wore cangues (wooden 
collars), but these seemed hardly to inconvenience 
them. 

The penal code of China is said to be a great deal 
more lenient than is generally supposed. Cangues, 
manacles, and iron chains are worn as punishments, 
and flogging with a bamboo is a very frequent cor- 
rective. The only instruments of torture said to be 
included in the penal code are those for squeezing 
the fingers and compressing the ankle-bones. 1 

We wished to give the Chinese the benefit of 
every doubt, and to incline to the opinion of those 
writers who maintain that " torture, though not 

1 See 'Historic China,' by H. Giles, p. 125. 



SHANGHAI. 327 

unknown in China, exists there practically in name 
alone." As it happened, however, among our 
Shanghai acquaintances was an officer who, during 
the year 1899, had reigned supreme over a district 
in the Kwang Tung Province, which came under 
British auspices for a short period, and then, in 
accordance with orders from England, was once 
more left to its fate, notwithstanding the disap- 
pointment of some of the more enlightened Chinese. 
This officer had every opportunity for making most 
exact investigations, and what we heard from him 
was not encouraging to belief in Chinese clemency. 
He had seen some dozen pirates put to death by 
strangulation. Their heads were tied in a line, and 
it was brutally arranged that each man before 
dying should have a full view of the sufferings that 
were just about to be his. Our friend used to 
attend the court - house to hear the cases, and 
happened to notice a basket which was carried in 
every day and then taken away again. He ob- 
served movements inside the basket, and realised 
that it was filled with some shapeless, squirming 
thing. 

"What is in there?" he inquired. 

" A man," he was told. " A man who has two 
bones broken every day." 

He found it was actually so. The miserable 
creature, now in his death - throes, had been mal- 
treated out of all semblance of humanity. 

In spite of the way in which the people co- 
operate and relations assist each other, there is, in 
general, utter callousness to suffering among the 
Chinese. They had rather see men die in front 
of them than incur ill-luck by helping them. We 
knew personally of cases in which Chinese of higher 



328 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GEISELDA. 

class than the coolies had watched the struggles of 
drowning men with the greatest amusement. It 
is considered bad joss to save any one from drown- 
ing, so they would not stir a finger to give assist- 
ance, and thoroughly enjoyed what they considered 
the intense humour of the episode. 

Custom seems at the root of many of the con- 
tradictory practices of the people. Old age has 
more respect shown it, generally speaking, than in 
Europe, for it is the custom to reverence age, just 
as it is the custom not to save people from drown- 
ing. It is customary to be law - abiding for the 
most part, and the slums of Chinese cities are 
said to be safer for life and property than the 
slums of European and American towns ; yet, in 
spite of their wonderful classic literature, the 
Chinese still need to learn to regulate their 
actions by the law of love. And was it not for 
the sake of love, and to teach them love, that 
Shanghai was thronged that winter by that white- 
faced company in Chinese dress with queues hang- 
ing down their backs ? 

Poor missionaries so much abused ! Even then 
after the untold miseries many had suffered we 
heard them inveighed against as living in the lap 
of luxury. All one could say was that, judging 
by the pale, pinched faces, luxury seemed to have 
a very unusual effect. And the same people who 
object to all comforts for missionaries are generally 
the ones who would be the first to denounce ascet- 
icism as ridiculous nonsense, and quite unnecessary 
to Christianity, certainly in their own case ; just 
as the people who bring up the argument about 
the heathen at home are not, upon inquiry, usually 
found to be interesting themselves about a single 



SHANGHAI. 329 

member of this last -mentioned community. After 
all, the opinion of the multitude is not of much 
consequence, as it is never the multitude that 
shapes the world's history. That is done by those 
units that arise and remove the mountains, and so 
make a way along which the multitude afterwards 
follows with great complacency. Besides, if the 
attempt to regenerate the Chinese be futile, what 
can one call many of the objections that are 
brought up against it ? One we heard was a com- 
plaint that the women missionaries so often let a 
red flannel petticoat show below their Chinese cos- 
tume. Certainly we quite agreed that if any one 
undertakes to proclaim what we believe to be the 
nearest revealed truth of the Almighty Creator of 
the incomprehensible Universe, she should assuredly 
study dignity in all things even red flannel petti- 
coats. But it happened to be our fortune to meet one 
of the most remarkable and attractive women we had 
ever seen among the ranks of the missionaries, one 
who had taken many earthly possessions and laid 
them, so to speak, at the Apostles' feet. She taught 
us to realise the truth of St Peter's remark about 
"the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit," which, 
up till then, we had rather associated with dowdy 
looks and hair strained back from the forehead. 
Now we agreed that St Peter's recipe, combined 
with plenty of cold water, fresh air, and physical 
exercises every morning, would bring about a vast 
improvement in women's looks. 

From this missionary we heard of actualities of 
real Chinese, such as the late Pastor Hsi, an ex- 
clusive Confucian scholar, whose life after his con- 
version was of more use to his generation than 
the combined existences of hundreds of the nominal 



330 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Christians of Europe, though, in his early days, 
when only influenced by the Confucian classics, he 
had, in Chinese fashion, been stolidly indifferent to 
all misfortunes that did not personally inconvenience 
him. 

"And will you ever become missionaries?" this 
missionary asked. 

" No," we said ; " there seems no prospect of it." 
11 Oh ! How sorry I am for you," she exclaimed, 
showing her own aspect of a life in which the self- 
sacrifice was as nothing compared with the stupen- 
dous object of hastening 

"... the time, the time that shall surely be, 

When the earth shall be filled with the glory of God, as the waters 
cover the sea ! " 



331 



CHAPTER XXV. 

SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 

" IF China is a conservative country, Shanghai can't 
be in China." This was Anemone's opinion one morn- 
ing when she had been "passed along" from depart- 
ment to department in a shop in the Nanking Road. 
" I might as well have studied Far Cathay at Marshall 
and Snelgrove's as here," she complained, as she was 
interrogated across the counter as to her requirements 
in gloves. 

I acquiesced as to the Shanghai foreign settlement 
really not being China, considering that its adminis- 
tration is undertaken turn about by magistrates of 
the different foreign nationalities. Still, the Celes- 
tials are allowed " a finger in the pie," so to speak, 
and a Chinese magistrate occupies the bench in com- 
pany with a European colleague, except in the special 
concession which the French acquired, over which a 
consul-general has control. 

The Shanghai which, in 1842, was first opened to 
the trade of the world, consisted chiefly of some fisher 
huts on a swamp. Now fine buildings and prosperous 
business offices show that a hustle is possible even 
in a country regulated by ideas in vogue some 4000 
or more years ago. From its beginning the place 
seems to have held the reputation of a busy trading 



332 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA, 

mart. The earlier settlement was on the banks of 
the present Su-chow Creek. When the Whang-poa 
became navigable another settlement was founded 
during the thirteenth century on the present site of 
Shanghai, and was converted into a walled city in 
1544 as a protection against the Japanese raids which 
troubled the maritime provinces of China from the 
commencement of the Ming dynasty. 

Beyond the French concession the walled city 
remains unchanged from the sixteenth century. 
Here the Chinese manage their own affairs, and it 
is said that a population of 130,000 is crowded into 
its area of a little over a mile in length and three- 
quarters of a mile in breadth, and into a small suburb 
on the water's edge outside. Consequently Shanghai 
walled city has much variety of dirt to offer nose 
and eyes, and Anemone and I thought we could 
sample China Proper there without going farther 
afield. 

It was especially interesting just before the Chinese 
New Year, when the people are in such need of ready 
money, that the shopkeepers lower their prices, and 
bargain -lovers can enjoy themselves almost as much 
as if they were in London for the sales. They need 
not either exercise the same caution about pickpockets, 
judging by the way in which we saw the Chinese 
money carried through the streets in uncovered 
wooden boxes swung across coolies' shoulders, so 
that there would not have been the least difficulty 
in any one helping himself. It was certainly only 
copper cash the native money, first said to have 
been coined about 200 B.C. Whole strings of it only 
amount to a modicum of a dollar, still " mony a mickle 
maks a muckle," especially at the epoch of paying 
bills. But none even of the many beggars that 



SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 333 

crowded round us moved a finger towards the tempt- 
ing hoard. 

What annoyed Anemone was the fact that, instead 
of being absorbed in bargains, the whole populace 
centred its interest in us. Whichever way we moved 
we were surrounded by blear-eyed old men and women, 
and children so padded out in their winter garments 
that if we accidentally tripped any over, we had to 
stop and pick them up or they would have been left 
sprawling on the cobble-stones as helpless as inverted 
tortoises. The sturdier people pushed past the others 
to inspect us. Their criticisms were certainly out- 
spoken, and we fondly trusted polite. We hoped we 
served our generation as an object - lesson, for the 
attention we received was not without its drawback, 
as it involved inevitable contact with our neighbours' 
raiment in streets, some of which were so narrow that 
a sedan-chair could not have been squeezed through. 
This was trying when combined with the conscious- 
ness that the winter clothing had been put on once 
for good and all in the autumn, and would know no 
prospect of removal until the following spring. Its 
bulk added greatly to the difficulty of making way 
for the burden-bearers. These generally went at a 
trot, shouting to everybody to make room for them. 
Anemone and I made frantic efforts to do so, as the 
burdens often consisted of pails of dirty water that 
splashed about in the most reckless way. 

The shops displayed very varied commodities. We 
fought shy of the grocers, where the blend of odours 
became more concentrated, and ducks, squashed flat 
out of all recognition, hung in rows above chickens 
that had experienced interment, and assortments of 
decomposed fish. In some booths hung hundreds of 
tiny cages full of canaries, perhaps waiting for some 



334 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

devout Buddhist to buy them and set them free. 
Had we come out better provided with smelling-salts 
we might have lingered for hours in some of the shops, 
fingering the china, the embroideries, and the exquisite 
carvings in wood and ivory, that make one uncertain 
at which one should marvel most the Chinese deli- 
cacy of finger-touch, or indomitable patience of brain. 
But then, as Anemone said, there is nothing a Chinese 
cannot achieve if he once makes up his mind. 

We never succeeded in finding the image of the 
tutelary deity, nor the shrine of Su-Kwang-Ki, the 
Shanghai patriot, a pupil of Ricci, the Jesuit mission- 
ary, and now worshipped by his townsmen as an 
inspired sage. A great boat of blackened wood, said 
to be an object of much antiquity, was our principal 
discovery in the joss-house ; but the crowd grew so 
dense that we moved on with it to the chief tea-house, 
a beautiful little building with curved roof tops and 
ornamented walls, standing in the middle of an odorif- 
erous pond. In the autumn the water had been a 
brilliant green, from the moss and slime that covered 
it ; now it was frozen over and the ice was a dingy 
grey. A little curved bridge connected the tea-house 
with the surrounding picturesque buildings, that would 
have looked lovely if only dirt had not been so much 
in evidence and the whole walled city in such need 
of a thorough scrubbing. 

The crowd grew monotonous, so we beat a retreat 
into the mandarin's palace, where we found our- 
selves alone with a tottery caretaker inside high walls, 
where all was seclusion and peace. In the house 
there was prosaic glass to the windows, and the rooms 
had wooden chairs and tables with marble tops, where 
the mandarin and his companions used to sit and 
smoke their opium pipes. Narrow covered verandahs 



SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 335 

wound round the house and led to other parts of the 
dwelling, and a little bridge crossing dry ground 
seemed a very unnecessary convenience till we under- 
stood that it had formerly spanned a tiny ornamental 
lake. Above it birds had sung in an aviary. The 
aviary remained, but the birds had vanished, like the 
mandarin and his " inner ones." The entire garden 
was a rockery, through which paths twisted with 
much eccentricity. Great stones and boulders had 
been piled upon each other till a high hill had been 
formed, on top of which stood a summer-house, with 
a fine view of roof-tops to enliven the small-footed 
ladies who toiled up the ascent. The roofs were 
certainly picturesque, unlike their European fellows. 
All were fantastically curved and peaked, and a huge 
carved serpent wriggled along a wall that enclosed 
another mandarin's residence. Between the boulders 
of this magnified rockery queer-shaped, stunted trees 
lifted bare branches that provided shade for the 
garden in summer, and we nomads from the outer 
world seemed to pace under the leafless twigs with 
the ghosts of those "inner ones" who had lived there 
perhaps as much caged in as the birds in the aviary. 

The caretaker was not communicative, but he con- 
descended to explain why Chinese roofs curve upwards 
at the edges. 

" Suppose catchee good joss," he said, " no can 
makee fall out." 

" But suppose catchee bad joss ? " inquired Anemone 
anxiously. 

The caretaker's face was a blank. This terrible 
alternative had evidently never suggested itself to 
the Celestial mind. 

Even the floors in some of the houses in the north 
of China slope towards the middle, in the hope of 



336 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

entrapping the good joss. Chinese superstitions are 
mostly so infantile that the race seems to have en- 
tered upon its second childhood in that respect the 
moment it emerged from its babyhood. 

Noise appeared to be the chief feature of the New 
Year celebrations. In all the houses gongs were 
sounded and crackers fizzed. The people walked 
about in their best clothes to pay their congratula- 
tory visits and prostrate themselves before the tablets 
of their ancestors. The river looked very gay, for the 
junks and sampans were decorated with flags and 
long paper streamers ; and official buildings, such as 
the arsenal, the powder factory, and the guard- 
houses, were all adorned in the same skittish way. 
It was a time of holiday -making, feasting, and general 
rejoicing, and none of the Shanghai Chinese seemed 
the least depressed at their Emperor being a fugitive 
at Si-an-fu, and quite unable to usher in the new 
year propitiously by the winter solstice sacrifice at 
the Altar of Heaven, now desecrated, no doubt, in 
their opinion, by the proximity of barbarian troops. 
They were by no means ignorant of the Boxer rising, 
and during that summer of 1900 there had been some 
moments of great perturbation for the foreigners in 
Shanghai. Even during the following winter we 
found that, in spite of the proverbially meek and 
mild character of the natives of that vicinity, the 
looks of the villagers were not always friendly when 
we explored the neighbourhood. There was a tend- 
ency to shout "foreign devil" after us, and a man 
who once accompanied us was greeted by a shower 
of stones on his back. However, as they hit him and 
not me, they did not make much impression ; and one 
afternoon, when Anemone was otherwise occupied, I 
betook myself to the same place Loongwha, a village 



SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 337 

outside of which was a pagoda, some joss-houses, and 
a monastery. 

The journey there was uneventful. The passers-by 
looked amiable, and the children seemed devoutly dis- 
posed, for they hailed me with a chorus of " chin, chin 
joss." Grave-mounds were a constant adornment of 
the landscape ; in the neighbourhood of smelly villages 
there were peaceful orchards, and in one field stood 
an isolated memorial arch. These monuments of 
learning or virtue are dotted over China in a very 
promiscuous way. They are often erected to the 
memory of scholars who distinguished themselves in 
the examinations, or to officials noted for their benefi- 
cent rule. Neither are women forgotten ; and many 
of the archways are for the glorification of widows, 
considered virtuous because they did not marry a 
second time. 

All I saw of the village of Loongwha was the bridge 
and the gateway that led to it. Beyond was the 
pagoda with seven peaked roofs, rising one above the 
other, each a little smaller than the one immediately 
below. To the right of the open square outside the 
village was the monastery and the joss-houses, the 
roofs of which were beautifully carved ; on the top 
there were dragons and fishes ; on the lower sides, 
figures of wrestling men. The grey cloisters looked 
quiet and peaceful, though one might with advantage 
have recommended baths and Pullar's dye-works to 
the priests who passed along them in very soiled and 
dingy winter robes. 

In the central courtyard, outside the chief temple, 
stood an ancient bronze pagoda-shaped column. Be- 
yond it, on low stone pillars, the Great Monad was 
engraved the symbol of life, two divisions inside a 
circle, representing the male and female principles of 



338 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

nature, further illustrated by rough drawings of the 
sun above the Monad and the moon below. 

Inside the chief joss - house stood a la*rge gilded 
Buddha, with a little stairway in front of him, other 
gilded figures beside him, and a fine ceiling above his 
head. Offerings of food were placed before the images, 
who evidently were expected to be rather limited in 
their meals. At the back of the temple a number of 
figures were represented " climbing the steep ascent 
of heaven " in a very literal way. Their goal was 
apparently " Amitabha," the Western Paradise, de- 
picted on the top. In a corner was a huge ancient 
bell, the clang of which was, no doubt, as impressive 
as the bell's appearance ; but a youth who consti- 
tuted himself guide, though I disclaimed the atten- 
tion, counselled me to take no liberties with it, as 
he said it " belong too muchee joss." 

It might certainly have been overwhelming if the 
joss had been summoned in too great numbers, but 
in any case they were going to be invoked, as a 
service was about to be commenced. A priest was 
lighting thin red candles, and their pale light flickered 
upon a fine red silk banner beautifully embroidered in 
gold, while long streamers which hung from the ceiling 
threw meagre shadows that danced along the walls. 
Soon a priest came in and beat upon a fish-head made 
out of stained red wood. This office he continued 
without pausing for a moment, and the droning sound 
accompanied the sing-song chanting of other priests, 
while variations were made by the clanging of bronze 
bowls, and every now and then the tinkle of a bell, 
upon which the priests changed their attitudes, which 
altered according to the prayers. 

The atmosphere was heavy with incense and burn- 
ing joss-sticks and an indescribable odour imported by 



SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 339 

the congregation, who gave me the full benefit of their 
attention, and seemed to ignore the fact that a service 
was going on. The priests were quite as much en- 
gaged in staring at me as the laymen, and my appear- 
ance was altogether too much for their gravity. They 
were picturesque in their grey and yellow vestments, 
so I contemplated them, while they shook with laughter 
at the sight of me. No high mass at St Peter's in- 
volved more bowing than was undertaken by a young- 
looking priest, who at length, on the tinkle of the 
bell, ascended by the little stairway to the great 
gilded Buddha, and returned with a tiny cup full 
of water, into which he regularly dipped a long- 
nailed third finger, doubling it as he drew it out 
under his thumb and little finger always in just the 
same way. He gazed at me the entire time, and 
grew more and more convulsed with amusement, and 
suddenly flicked some of the water straight into my 
face. Thereupon he marched outside and poured the 
libation over the engraving of the Great Monad, first 
flicking a few drops at a much-padded Chinese boy 
who was standing by undecided whether the priest or 
I were more worth staring at. 

The clerical giggles were not awe-inspiring, so I 
wandered where I chose without asking permission, 
and made my way into another building with an 
ornamented ceiling and a galaxy of horrible images. 
Each had its own individuality in their rivalry of 
general hideousness. Bats were represented crawling 
over them in company with serpents that writhed 
and squirmed. Their eyes rolled or squinted in their 
green or red coloured faces, grotesque in their fear- 
some impotence. It was a relief to go outside and see 
the clear sky looking as usual, with the quaint pagoda 
perking its head above the peaked roof of the joss- 



340 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

house, but the quiet of the cloister was disturbed by 
the Loongwha populace, who tramped after me which- 
ever way I went. I had been glad to be chaperoned 
by them in the last temple, but the society of the 500 
sages I wished to keep exclusively to myself. It was 
all in vain ; even bribery could not quench curiosity, 
and a blue-garmented company escorted me into the 
temple, in which was a goddess and three other 
images enclosed in a beautiful gilded shrine. A 
carved and gilded screen was before it, and a fine 
lantern hung in front. Round all the sides of this 
building, and round four glass enclosures in the 
middle, were the images of the 500 Lohans, all 
with wonderful expressions, mostly benevolent. One 
drew a mask over his face ; another stroked a long 
beard as he meditated ; another had a blue beard and 
held a blue book in a most official manner ; while a 
fourth gesticulated indignantly at a rat which sat at 
his feet. 

It would have been pleasant to survey the tip of 
one's nose for hours in orthodox Buddhist meditation 
in such interesting company. The shades of those 
first early Buddhist disciples seemed to hover round 
their gilded representations, and the temple felt astir 
as though with faint glimmering perceptions of life 
that has been, is, and is to be. But the black-haired 
race has grown so uninspiringly materialistic that the 
Loongwha escort was not conducive to communion 
with the unseen world. Besides, the shadows were 
lengthening formidably. The eastern hemisphere was 
turning to the outer darkness, and it was unquestion- 
ably time to be going home. 

Outside the joss-house I literally stumbled into 
royalty, for I bumped into a monarch an autocrat, 
in fact, who looked as if he had stepped bodily out of 



SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 341 

a fairy tale. He had a pointed beard a not very 
usual adornment among the Celestials, who do not 
grow any hair on their faces until they are over forty, 
unless they happen to be grandfathers before they 
reach that age. His little eyes were bright and 
twinkling. His robes of majesty were coloured rags ; 
they looked quite sumptuous as he propped himself 
against a rough fence as an appropriate contrast to 
his trappings of state. He was the King of the 
Beggars, and was said to have hoarded riches, but 
he benignly deigned to accept a humble contribution 
of cash from me. 

The Beggars' Guild is by no means one of the most 
contemptible in China ; its members have considerable 
power, as they can greatly inconvenience any Croesus 
unaddicted to charity. The monarch looked a robust 
old specimen ; he probably traded exclusively in his 
subjects' infirmities. Practical in most things, the 
Chinese make every possible profit out of their de- 
formities. One beggar we knew of, who had lost his 
feet through an accident, prevented the fact from 
escaping observation by crawling about with them 
conveniently strapped to his back. 

No census of China could give one as realistic an 
idea of the population as the magical way in which a 
crowd accumulates. While I surveyed his majesty 
over a hundred people had assembled to stare their 
eyes out at me. It was a silent wondering audience 
that contemplated one as quietly as a drove of sleepy 
cows. But then one knows that cattle sometimes 
have a nasty way of lowering their heads and rush- 
ing at one, and very lately the same objectionable 
proceeding had been indulged in on the part of the 
Chinese. It was certainly not the psychological 
moment to haggle with the uninvited guide over 



342 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

the sum demanded for his escort. He named a 
ridiculous amount, evidently thinking that I would 
realise that I was alone among the black -haired 
people and feel afraid. He seized my bicycle and 
obviously threatened me. This was enough to make 
loss of temper almost excusable, and I lost mine. 
Unlike a Japanese, he did not put me into the 
wrong by remaining amiable, but worked himself 
into a fury, so that it only remained to be seen 
which temper should be more forcible in getting its 
own way. The King of the Beggars looked on with 
dignified apathy. The gaping populace was highly 
entertained. Rather than miss a joke most Chinese 
would sacrifice their own belongings, and so, perhaps 
because the Loongwha residents wanted to amuse 
themselves at the guide's expense, they suddenly 
opened out and made a way for me. I indulged 
in no dawdling, but dragged the bicycle from the 
youth, mounted, and slipped through the throng be- 
fore it had time to close up again. In my haste I 
charged some men on the footpath, who made most 
forcible observations, and next took a wrong turning 
and bicycled straight into the arsenal. 

No anarchist at Tsarkoe Selo could have caused a 
greater commotion. Chinese soldiers swarmed out 
like ants on an ant-hill. They pulled me off the 
bicycle, and as they knew no English I could not 
explain that theirs was the last society into which I 
should have thrust myself intentionally. However, 
we came to an understanding, for one's conscious brain 
and its functions are, after all, very minor factors in 
most undertakings. Personal influence, at any rate, 
depends more upon our sub-conscious selves that 
personality which, in one of their stories, the Chinese 
compare to a cloud, the colouring of which betrays 



SHANGHAI, AND JOUKNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 343 

the disposition of the person to whom it is attached. 
Fortunately the meeting of my cloud with those of 
the native warriors led to a summer calm instead of 
a thunderstorm. They conducted me peaceably out 
of the arsenal, and set me on the right road for Miss 
Wake's abode. 

The Whang-poa was certainly seen at its best in 
the soft, silvery sheen of the evening. Lights 
twinkled from rows of sampans, and a forest of 
junk masts stood out in sharp outline against a 
star-studded sky. Beyond came a blaze of bright- 
ness from the foreign warships, and the Astrea 
played a white search-light across the public gardens 
and the streets, where Chinese women travelled home 
crowded on wheel-barrows, and some drunken sailors 
were marched off by a Chinese policeman to the lock- 
up for the night. 

Outside Wan-Shao-Shan Anemone was pacing the 
pavement in despair lest I should never return. She 
begged to accompany me on all subsequent expeditions, 
as she thought even personal danger would involve 
less stress of mind. So a few days later we walked to- 
gether to the Point a projection which juts out into 
the Whang-poa and looked across the flat swampy 
country through which the Yangtse finishes its 
course. And everywhere, across swamps and cotton- 
fields, was the indescribable stir and fragrance that 
tells of the coming of spring. The air was soft. The 
sunshine was radiant. The time of the singing of 
birds had come. The news reached us that the ice 
had cleared from the mouth of the Pei-ho, and with 
the good tidings came the C.R.E. to say that a cargo- 
boat was to start for Taku immediately, and that we 
might have free passages in her, provided no officer 
turned up to claim the one and only cabin available. 



344 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Under the circumstances Anemone could have 
accomplished her preparations in five minutes. As 
it was, we had twelve hours in which to work hard. 
Just as our boxes were strapped and everything 
ready, the transport officer called to say that a marine 
officer had appropriated our cabin. The room at Wan- 
Shao-Shan was lost to us irremediably. Our farewells 
had been made. In her joy at departure Anemone 
had even wished the Viking good-bye. To stay on 
was impossible ; and as our remittance from home had 
reached us, Anemone hurried out prepared to offer the 
whole of it to any firm that would charter a boat to 
take us north. The China merchants were despatch- 
ing a vessel; Anemone took our tickets, and we slipped 
on board in the evening, with the coolie chaperoning 
us to the last moment, as Fido after all had proved 
faithless to his name. 

Our cabin consisted of a corner of the saloon, 
screened off by an abbreviated curtain, behind which 
we were ushered by the mate, who told us to make 
the most of our slumbers while they were possible, as 
we were " timed to sail at the streak o' dawn." The 
last we saw of Shanghai were lights twinkling through 
the darkness. The last we heard was a lullaby droned 
by the coolies who piled the cargo on board. 

The first we knew of the dawn was the way in 
which everything wobbled. Yet we did not appear 
to be making any headway, and, upon inquiry, found 
that the steamer was anchored at the mouth of the 
Yangtse, as the elements were in a turmoil. 

"We should founder if we went out," said the 
captain in a tone of voice that implied that capsizal 
was in any case a contingency not to be ignored. 

In the afternoon the vessel finally started, and the 
wobbling was exchanged for the most fearful pitching 



SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 345 

and tossing that caused the old boat to creak and 
groan as though she were going to founder then and 
there. The passengers shouted for brandy ; the 
ship's cat mewed for provisions ; and Anemone and I 
prepared our minds for shipwreck, as our bodies in- 
capacitated us from making preparations in regard 
to anything else. 

It was not till next day that we crawled out from 
behind the curtain to the general assemblage of 
passengers, who were business men from Shanghai. 
They included two Britishers, a very wealthy 
Chinese compradore, and a foreign Count of fierce 
appearance, who contradicted everybody on board. 
They had to sleep in the saloon, as there was 
only one other cabin, which was monopolised by a 
Russian, who during the entire four and a half days' 
passage lay stretched like a corpse on his bunk, with 
his cap on his head and his booted feet sticking out 
into the saloon. He never changed his position, as 
we always had just the same view of his feet when 
we went below for meals. The atmosphere of tobacco 
and boots did not lend the saloon attraction, neither 
did the drinks which were clamoured for all day long. 
The first refreshment was brandy at six o'clock in the 
morning. After breakfast cocktails were enjoyed till 
tiffin, and champagne flowed freely during the course 
of the afternoon, especially if the compradore could 
be inveigled into the foc's'le, when his feet were 
chalked and he had to stand drinks all round. He 
paid the wine bill politely, but declined the proffered 
libations, and as he stalked about with Mongol dignity 
we did not wonder that he should look upon western 
civilisation as he then beheld it with a haughty dis- 
dain. We certainly would rather have applied to him 
in any difficulty than to any European on board, ex- 



346 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

cept the red-cheeked Devonian captain, who insisted 
upon our spending the days in his deck-cabin, as the 
presence of so much liquid salt water over the deck 
and champagne and cocktails under it was rather 
damping for us. So Anemone and I sat in seclusion 
and watched the art of navigation which, when prac- 
tised exclusively by Chinese sailors, filled us with 
apprehension, as the captain had been careful to ex- 
plain that there were no trustworthy charts of the 
coasts of North China, and that a safe transit through 
the Yellow Sea depended chiefly upon guesswork. 

After passing the Shantung Promontory the weather 
grew beautiful, as if to advertise the merits of Wei- 
hai-Wei as a health-resort. Beyond Liu-Kung-tau the 
hills on the mainland still snuggled under a snowy 
blanket, and white sea-gulls looked like snowflakes 
as they skimmed the crests of the rocking waves. 

We spent some time at Chifu, where we landed and 
brought away confused memories of mission-stations, 
China silk, straw plaiting, vineyards, and a low wall 
running along the hill-tops, built by the Chinese as 
a barricade against the Japanese. On the wharf 
lounged a group of dirty coolies, fresh from the 
country, waiting to be shipped in company with a 
drove of cattle to Port Arthur, which place the 
Count could not mention without growing alarmingly 
apoplectic, as he recalled his one and only visit, when 
he assured us that his week's hotel bill had amounted 
to 1500 Mexican dollars, the equivalent of about 
150. "So much," he said, bristling his moustaches, 
" for Port Arthur under Russian rule ! " 

The Count stayed so long on shore at Chifu that 
our departure was delayed considerably. When he 
was at last enticed on board, it was found that the 
chief, or rather the only, engineer was still away. 



SHANGHAI, AND JOURNEY VIA CHIFU TO TAKU. 347 

The captain said he could wait no longer, but 
Anemone implored him to do so, as she thought a 
steamer without an engineer was too much of an 
irregularity. The chief, on his return, was not the 
least disturbed about the risk he had run, and showed 
no gratitude to Anemone. 

" You were nearly left behind," she observed. 
' Verra nearly ! Verra nearly ! " he said most 
airily. 

He offered to show us the engine-room ; and it was 
only when he pressed us to explore the stoke-hole 
that we discovered that his calmness was due to 
inebriety. 

In spite of his shortcomings the engines worked 
demurely, and next morning we noticed that the 
Muscovite feet no longer protruded into the saloon. 
This was a certain signal of voyaging being over, 
and on looking through the port - holes we found 
ourselves face to face with the Taku Forts. 



348 



CHAPTER XXVI. 

TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 

THERE was not much to be seen of the Taku Forts, 
and Anemone said it was no wonder, as their exist- 
ence had been chiefly spent in undergoing bombard- 
ment, not that their low mud walls could even give 
great evidence of that fact. They were first captured 
by the English in 1858, just before Lord Elgin signed 
the Treaty of Tientsin, by which a resident British 
Minister was appointed to the Chinese capital. The 
following year, when the envoy tried to make his way 
to Peking to ratify the treaty, the Taku Forts con- 
sidered their innings had come, and effectually stopped 
his advance by an outburst of shot and shell. 

In 1860 the French decided to combine with the 
British in teaching the Celestials how to ratify 
treaties; and the allied forces landed at Pehtang, 
eight miles north of the Pei-ho, and attacked the 
Taku Forts from the land side. Their defences were 
so unprepared for such tactless tactics that they soon 
fell into the enemies' hands ; and the Allies continued 
the eventful march to Peking, which culminated in 
the burning of Yuen-ming-yuen, the summer palace, 
by way of chastising the Manchu authorities for the 
treacherous imprisonment of Sir Harry Parkes and 
others, and the establishment of the Tsung-Li Ko- 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 349 

Kuo-Szu-Wu Yamen, or Office for the General Control 
of the Affairs of Every Country, by which title the 
Celestials understood to their own satisfaction that 
they undertook the management of the barbarians. 

Having played their part in trying to prevent the 
establishment of foreign plenipotentiaries at Peking, 
it was natural that the Taku Forts should be involved 
in the attempted ejection of the Ministers. In fact, 
the capture of the forts in 1900 by the allied fleet 
was said to have finally determined the Manchus in 
their anti- foreign course of action. 

We crossed the bar and swung round in the shallow 
river, till we lay alongside the wharf at Tongku ; and 
everywhere across the flat, bare, brown country we 
saw the flags of the eight Allies dotted about in 
jealous ownership of the railway and godowns and 
mean little shanties, which, Anemone said, she would 
have been ashamed to own to in any case, much less 
to flaunt possession of by flags. If any place needed 
to be renowned through history for its number of 
bombardments, she considered that a sense of the 
fitting had been displayed in the selection of Taku. 

"What else," she asked, " could you do with such 
a place except bombard it ? " 

Only, on the other hand, it was rather wasted 
energy, as there was nothing to bombard except some 
grave-mounds and mast-heads of junks, which seemed 
to rise indiscriminately out of the country, owing to 
the eccentric curves in the course of the Pei-ho. 

We missed the morning train, and we had been 
specially cautioned not to arrive in Tientsin in the 
evening, so there was nothing for it but to wait on 
board till next day. Time did not hang heavily. 
There was actually too much to look at in the flag- 
dotted waste around Tongku. The mere variety of 



350 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

costumes we were treated to surpassed anything seen 
at church-parade in the Park. The first arrival on 
board after our stoppage was a young Chinee in an 
American marine coat, gorgeous with medals, and the 
trophies of martial glory soon dangled over soap-suds 
as he proceeded to scour the deck. He was followed 
by a gentleman in a lady's opera - cloak, who de- 
manded a passage on the return journey. The nation- 
ality of the wearer was obscure, but the nationality 
of the opera-cloak was unmistakably Parisian, and 
our first examples of loot proved that not only 
Chinese had been sufferers. On the wharf lounged 
several French soldiers in long blue cloaks and blue 
Tam-o'-Shanters ; and two Cossacks in greenish over- 
coats came and looked at us severely ; and Anemone 
fancied they fingered their "naighakas" with pos- 
itive wistfulness, though no doubt that was sheer 
imagination, as the Cossacks were most popular 
among the Allies, and were " hail fellow well met " 
with every one. 

Count von Waldersee arrived by the afternoon 
train on his way to Kiao-chau, or rather Tsing-tau, 
on a visit of inspection. A number of German officers 
were with him, and spurs clicked in a chorus on the 
dusty boarding of Tongku wharf. Half hidden by 
the bowing plumes were several unobtrusive British 
officers and beaming little Japanese, who did not 
forget the duty of smiling, even in the stress of la 
vie militaire. There were also two Japanese ladies 
in western costumes, who looked most independent, 
and had evidently discarded "the Three Obediences" 
with their kimonos. 

While the company embarked, and heels clicked 
more precisely, and heads bowed lower over the order 
of precedence, a band on the wharf struck up " Die 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 351 

Wacht am Rhein," and the dingy Pel - ho seemed 
required to add lustre to the glories of the Father- 
land, though no stretch of imagination could have 
transformed stately Ehrenbreitstein into unassuming 
Tongku or Sin-ho. 

Anemone hoped she was not Puritanical, but she 
thought music must be immoral, it produced such 
artificial effects. 

" I could be patriotic," she said, " to any country 
that had a sufficiently beautiful national anthem, just 
so long as the anthem was played. How could any 
one be anything else than a red Republican while 
listening to the Marseillaise ? " 

I reassured her as to the propriety of sound by 
reminding her that the harmonies of the universe 
appear from prophetic descriptions to be the chief 
constituents of heaven, and to what heights of 
bravery and self-sacrifice might one not rise in this 
life if one could only have the accompaniment of the 
proper tune. Of course, as Anemone said, one is so 
liable to hear the improper tune ; but, after all, that 
ceases to be a danger if the melodies of one's own 
heart are set in the same key as the inspired 
harmonies. 

The Germanic emotions which " The Watch on the 
Pthine" had aroused took their departure with the 
band, and the reaction helped us to realise that 
several forlorn - looking objects, lying about on the 
wharf, were huge astronomical instruments ruthlessly 
taken from the Peking Observatory, where some of 
them had been erected by the Jesuit missionaries in 
the seventeenth century ; while others are supposed 
to have been made by the famous Chinese astronomer, 
Ko-Show-King, in the thirteenth century, and to have 
been in existence at the time of Marco Polo's visit. 



352 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

They were waiting to be shipped to Germany we 
were told ; and Anemone ceased to hum " lieb Vater- 
land mag ruhig sein,' ; and vainly yearned to give 
voice to a patriotic lament of Far Cathay. 

We spent most of the afternoon in meeting old 
acquaintances. Tongku did not look a very probable 
place to find them in, but that is always the way. 
London is full of one's friends, yet one may lose one- 
self there most effectually ; but if one travels to some 
far remote outer region, the first person one walks 
into is sure to be somebody one knows. Among our 
former acquaintances was a dear benign old general, 
accompanied by an officer whose military title, we 
presumed, was D.A.A.G., or something of many 
letters, but whose immediate function was that of 
nurse, lady's-maid, and companion; and so tenderly 
charming was his care of the dear old general that 
we came to the conclusion it was as well women had 
begun to undertake men's employments, if only to 
free such masculine efficiency for the softer roles. 

The general and his attendant were to travel to 
Shanghai on the steamer, so the general secured the 
cabin the Russian had vacated, and the staff officer 
spent the night in the saloon, as our cabin was still 
unavailable. Consequently, next morning, when 
Anemone and I sat down to an early breakfast, the 
staff officer was blissfully stretched out in pyjamas at 
our side. We were conscious that he was w4de awake, 
but as he pretended to be asleep we were spared 
embarrassment, and were consequently able to devour 
our breakfast unperturbed. Unfortunately the time 
came at which it was usual for his China boy to 
awaken him, and one could scarcely imagine the 
trump of doom disturbing a Chinese in his daily 
routine. The staff officer's slumbers grew so alarm- 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 353 

ingly profound, and the China boy's summons so 
overpoweringly lusty, that there was nothing for it 
but to burn our mouths over our coffee and scramble 
on deck to avoid the awakening in pyjamas and the 
commentaries on the subject no doubt confided to 
the China boy. 

It was a still morning. Hoar-frost had coated all 
Tongku with silver, and red noses surmounted the 
motley uniforms of the crowd setting off by the train. 
We were shown to quite a luxurious carriage with a 
stove fitted in it, and were ushered to our places by 
the hero of one of Mr Kipling's stories, who was doing 
the work of the Empire as stationmaster or, to give 
him his proper title, railway staff officer at Tongku. 
A former acquaintance, who conveniently happened 
to be travelling to Tientsin on the occasion, came 
with us as escort, and the train started off slowly 
with its heterogeneous collection of passengers, the 
owners of the soil being crowded into open trucks. 
Unhappy-looking soil it was that year, left entirely 
uncultivated, and even the limekilns destroyed. We 
waved good-bye to the Taku Forts in the distance, 
and in our transit over the flat bare country passed 
two melancholy Chinese towns. At last the battered 
buildings of Tientsin came into sight, and the train 
drew up at the station where the Russians and the 
Indian troops were facing each other in the trenches. 
We had dramatically timed our arrival to the moment 
of the railway incident, when war between Great 
Britain and Russia seemed almost inevitable. But 
feelings of excitement were left to people who read 
the tidings on placards by London pavements. We 
who walked past these confronting warriors had no 
idea even that they were there. Coolies took charge 
of our numerous possessions, and rickshaws possessed 

z 



354 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

themselves of us. We crossed the Pei-ho by a rough 
bridge, which scarcely seemed needed, as junks were 
so crowded together on the river that one could have 
stepped across over them. To our right was the 
French Concession, and roofless houses told realistic 
stories of what it means to indulge in a siege. Almost 
every one we passed paraded a different sort of uni- 
form, and Armageddon seemed to be having a dress 
rehearsal on our special behalf. The bund soon 
brought us to the British Concession, which, on the 
whole, had a less battered look. The Astor House 
Hotel was pleasantly situated at the corner of the 
Victoria Road, and overlooked the public gardens 
and the Gordon Hall beyond. 

To our surprise there was no letter from Benjamin, 
and Anemone sat down to tiffin in great depression. 
The dining-room was like a class-room for a compre- 
hensive study of uniforms. First appeared a Ber- 
sagliere, his black cloak and floating plumes making 
us feel as if we had landed in Italy by mistake. A 
little chubby-faced Cossack followed, fraternising with 
a Frenchman in the picturesque uniform of a Chasseur 
d'Afrique. Both bowed low to all four corners before 
taking their seats. A German officer in spectacles 
came next, and clicked his heels till the echoes re- 
sounded. The clanking of spurs was an obbligato to 
the Teutonic bow, but Anemone thought in this case 
the glasses spoilt the effect. Anyhow every one was 
so much taken up in returning it that an English 
officer in khaki was able to slink to his place un- 
noticed and escape what he obviously considered the 
most formidable ordeal of the campaign. He looked 
almost as depressed as Anemone over the bows that 
were bent towards him as more and more officers 
streamed into the room, and only grew cheerful when 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 355 

he was joined by a little Jap, who sat down opposite, 
and returned salutations for them both by perpetual 
little jerks of the head. An officer of the Australian 
Naval Contingent came in with an American, who 
waved his slouch -hat round him in general benediction 
and took his seat with democratic unconcern. 

Anemone and I were placed at a small table with 
the only other feminine member of the community. 
This, no doubt, was to put us at our ease. It was 
not our fault that it did not have the desired result, 
as the lady surveyed her plate severely and had no 
cognisance of her surroundings except her husband's 
mouth, which once half opened to ask me to pass 
him the pepper, but she glared at it indignantly, 
and he hurriedly shut it up again. There was no 
mistaking the couple being English, and we found 
out afterwards that they had been through the 
Peking siege, so eccentricities had to be condoned. 
Circumstances are said to be formless in themselves, 
so entirely are they shaped by the characters of the 
persons who pass through them. This seemed ex- 
emplified in the experiences of the siege. They cast 
a continued melancholy over some who underwent 
them, while others seemed to have their spirits raised 
for life. 

" Enjoy the siege of Tientsin ? I should just say I 
did ! " said an American woman whom we met later. 
" I used to go up on top and bring back news to the 
wounded. My ! weren't they mad they couldn't go 
and look ! Have a good time ? I should say ! The 
very best in the world ! " 

She positively glowed over the reminiscences, and 
so did another juvenile American, whose chief employ- 
ment on leaving Peking was counting corpses in the 
Pei-ho. 



356 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

To return to the Astor House, Anemone's depression 
had brought her to the conclusion that as Benjamin 
was silent we must make arrangements for ourselves. 
The first move must be away from the hotel with its 
medley of officers if possible into a little house all 
to ourselves. A former acquaintance Tientsin being 
also conveniently furnished for us in this respect- 
found us what we wanted in the missionary enclosure. 
Unfortunately we innocently mentioned Benjamin and 
his connection with the Field Force. Thereupon the 
missionary seemed to look upon us in the light of a 
temptation, and one which she resisted so valiantly 
that we received a note from her to say the house 
could not be ours. War and its accompaniments are 
not pretty at close quarters. Fortunately, through 
all self-sacrifice rises like a cross of salvation, so we 
were not surprised at being finally provided for by 
a staff officer whose wife had spent the winter in 
Tientsin. They insisted upon our sharing their little 
four-roomed house, which might have been comfort- 
able for two people but was decidedly crowded with 
four. To sit on the stairs in the middle of the night 
was the only way to enjoy the luxury of being alone. 
However, everything was ungrudgingly shared by the 
kind strangers, who gave us a shelf and a peg apiece, 
and restricted themselves to the same limited accom- 
modation, which was heroic in a place like Tientsin, 
where the chief commodity was dust. There was a 
profusion of it at ordinary times, and every now and 
again, for fear of a decrease, the sands of the Gobi 
desert hurled themselves broadcast in reckless ex- 
travagance, and the wind as it dealt out the supply 
was lavish with the odour of living and defunct 
Chinese. 

The elements are generally energetic about display- 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 357 

ing their samples to strangers, so, quite as Anemone 
and I expected, we were, soon after our arrival, 
treated to the worst Gobi dust-storm that had been 
known for three years. We were out when the 
great column swept towards us, and the next moment 
we were engulfed in the whirling sands of the desert 
and nearly choked. Everybody scampered indoors, 
but even in the retreat of the house double windows 
could not keep out the dust, which was certainly 
more aggressively disagreeable than any London fog. 
Anemone expended her whole stock of eau-de-Cologne 
over this first experience. 

It prevented an expedition which had been planned 
to snapshot the Russians in the trenches, and the 
opportunity never came again, as next day British 
marines took the place of Indian soldiers, and by the 
time we arrived with our kodaks the Russians had 
altered their minds as to their warlike intentions, 
and the trenches were as empty as Mother Hubbard's 
cupboard. 

" How aggravating to have missed such a good 
snapshot," said Anemone, and her remark was 
characteristic of the usual extent of one's outlook 
upon immediate events. It is so hard to realise, 
either as nations or individuals, that the future, which 
seems so far away and mysterious, is simply our 
own creation in the present ; and we never suspected 
that the determined policy which placed the marines 
in the trenches, as the answer to the Russian demand 
for an apology, was to result in Russia learning her 
lesson from an Asiatic power, and more or less the 
equalisation of the racial rights of mankind. 

Altogether, we had arrived at Tientsin at a rather 
riotous time. Part of it is history now, and some 
of our little daily episodes are perhaps enshrined in 



358 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

lesson -books. Brotherly love was at times a little 
strained among the eight Allies compressed into the 
rather limited confines of the Heavenly Ford on the 
Northern River the meanings of the names Tientsin 
and Pei-ho. While the Zouaves and the Chasseurs 
d'Afrique were there all was peaceable, and of these 
the British could not speak in too high praise. Their 
privates were splendid looking men, with capacious 
trousers that added to their size. Not only was their 
physique excellent, but their intelligence, self-reliance, 
and independence placed them, according to our host, 
on a superior level to the German soldiers, whose drill 
was perfection, but who seemed wanting in initiative. 
Troubles began when the Parisian Regiment took the 
place of the other French troops. This was not 
astonishing, as this particular regiment has the 
reputation of being composed mostly of jail-birds, who 
are given the choice of undergoing transportation or 
enlisting for service abroad. 

The British soldiers had been shut out of the 
French Concession all the winter, so it only seemed 
logical that when the fresh arrivals did not behave 
nicely the mandate should go forth that the English 
Concession was to be debarred to them. One of their 
pet amusements had been to link arms and walk in 
lines of five and six across the roads, and so prevent 
people from going past. Several British heads had 
been cut open, and members of the gentle sex had 
been treated in anything but a gentle way ; so, to put 
it as delicately as possible, the room of the French 
had become preferable to their company. This was 
the state of affairs soon after Anemone and I arrived, 
and the little thrill of excitement just gave the proper 
zest to the Tientsin atmosphere. The bund was left 
quiet and undisturbed for the most part. A huge 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 359 

bronze bell and some other antiquities lay about by 
the water-side loot to be " returned with thanks " to 
the Chinese by the French. It was in the two chief 
streets of Tientsin the Victoria and the Taku Roads 
that people mostly congregated. The aristocracy 
(a little mixed, as is proper nowadays) was repre- 
sented in the Victoria Road, which was bordered by 
the Astor House Hotel, the Gordon Hall, the English 
and German clubs, and some of the principal shops. 
It was here that ladies might be both heard and seen, 
and generals paced their chargers up and down with 
pomposity, turning out the guard. Here, where 
diplomacy built castles in Manchuria and barracks 
nearer at hand, more nationalities rubbed shoulders 
than could be counted on the fingers of both hands, 
and some of the costumes in evidence told of fashions 
that had never known the thraldom of Paris or New 
York. The Taku Road was not so appropriate to airs 
and graces. On the least provocation its dust turned 
to mire, and converted it into a regular slough of 
despond. It was thronged by soldiers and Chinese, 
who looked more disagreeable than any Celestials we 
had ever seen. Anemone said she was sure they 
were Boxers by their expressions ; at any rate, they 
obviously held the same anti- foreign views. The 
Temperance Hall, the chief building fronting the 
Taku Road, had been the headquarters of the British 
Staff during part of the siege, and its dilapidated 
appearance gave evidence of the attentions it had in 
consequence received. Other houses near by had 
nothing to show for themselves except bare walls, 
and the street was not exhilarating viewed as a 
promenade. Still, the Victoria and Taku Roads 
were the chief thoroughfares of Tientsin, and the 
English Concession had attractions to offer of which 



360 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

the French Concession was destitute, so the Gallic 
troops were infuriated at being kept out, and it was 
soon thought better to readmit them. It was quite 
uncertain, however, whether gratitude would be 
shown, and disturbances were the more feared because 
the Australian Naval Contingent, which had policed 
the streets, was returning to the Commonwealth. It 
was a splendid body, composed mostly of retired men 
from the regular navy who had been doing coast- 
guard duty in Australia. Anemone considered that 
a single brawny sailor made a whole street feel 
secure. As a matter of fact, the Welch Fusiliers, 
who took their place, did their duty equally well, 
though their appearance was perhaps not quite so 
reassuring. 

"We decided to ignore French disorderliness, and, 
what was more to the point, hoped that French dis- 
orderliness would ignore us, for it was impossible to 
remain cooped up in a bandbox of a house when so 
much was going on outside, and officers hurried about, 
swelled out with consequential importance. Men's 
methods of managing the world and its armies would 
have filled Miss Wake with compassion, they were 
so slow and laboured. All the poor dear " Fathers " 
of the eight nationalities seemed in unconscious need 
of the " Mothers" who took five minutes to settle 
their home affairs. But Anemone felt profoundly 
grateful to men for the uncomplaining way in which 
they undertook the world's dirty work. Why women 
should ever crave to do it she could not understand, 
especially as the feminine necessity of having to keep 
up appearances under all conditions would handicap 
them so terribly. " An army of women," she said, 
" might not be more nervous about being shot than 
an army of men ; but what they would feel terrified 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 361 

about is lest they should not be shot in a becoming 
place." 

She gave vent to these sentiments as we went for 
our first real walk to the Hai-Kwan-ssu, or western 
arsenal, from which the Chinese made themselves so 
objectionable through the siege, till the Americans, the 
Japanese, and the British Chinese regiment drove 
them out. It was easy to picture the advance of the 
Allies over the flat expanse to the capture of the 
native city, for to the immediate west of the Settle- 
ment still stood the shattered remains of the houses 
that had harboured so many Chinese snipers, and 
shell-holes and bomb-proofs round us helped us to 
realise carnage in what was still a desolated scene. 

Memories of the second China war were mixed up 
with reminiscences of 1900. Sankolinsin's Folly, the 
low mud-wall on which we stood, had been erected by 
the Tartar general as an outer protection to Tientsin 
city. It must have tried his temper to hear that the 
foreigners had settled down inside it after his failure 
to oust them in 1860. We passed the remains of the 
pagoda where Lord Elgin signed his treaty. The 
big bell that belonged to it had been carried off to 
the public gardens. A forlorn-looking canal ran by 
the mud-wall, and a new bridge had been put up over 
it, for the middies had made the old one the chief 
target for shots from the Terrible's twelve-pounder. 
Altogether, we had a good view of the damage that 
had been done around Tientsin, as we walked along 
the top of Sankolinsin's Folly. Away towards the 
race-course we saw the shells of Mr Dickinson's and 
Mr Detring's houses. Nearer at hand were graves, 
some evidently made in a hurry, to judge by protrud- 
ing coffins. On our other side were the Chinese city 
in the distance, and ruined houses closer. Between 



362 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

us and the more prosperous part of the Concession 
were swamps which took an appropriately gory tinge 
from the sunset, and a slight breeze stirred the mire 
and brought from it perfumes that made us wish 
for the moment that noses had been left out of the 
plan of Creation, or rather, could be taken off before 
a visit to China. 

"I think we had better hurry back," suggested 
Anemone. 

I was quite of the same opinion. 

We had not gone very far before a Tientsin civilian 
came up and inquired anxiously whether we were 
properly escorted, as he had just been insulted by a 
Frenchman. He was very small a sort of pocket 
edition. Anemone whispered that she thought he 
would be a great responsibility, so we declined his 
protection, and the French behaved quite properly. 
One man grunted like a pig in Anemone's ear, but 
she appeared so unconscious of the attention that 
he evidently came to the conclusion that he had 
exerted himself unnecessarily. Pickets were out, and 
order was maintained for the most part, though the 
French slouched along looking evilly disposed, and 
ingratiated themselves with the Germans, who took 
the opportunity to leave off saluting the British. 
This was a real loss, we thought. The goose-step as 
a salute was worth walking miles to encounter, and 
the Teutonic rickshaw salute the head jerked round 
and the cheeks blown out simultaneously was unique 
as a spectacle. 

The disturbances with the French were not long- 
lived. Their commanding officer was changed, and 
the privates were admonished to salute politely. It 
was quite a case of " kiss and be friends." Indeed, in 
the gardens under the shadow of the Gordon Hall, 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 363 

the entente cordiale was first established when the 
French band wound up its musical programme with 
" God save the King," and Britishers clapped vocifer- 
ously. 

For our part we found the soldiers of all national- 
ities very obliging. It was most convenient to have 
them at hand to do all sorts of odd jobs. Directly 
they were addressed in their own language they 
became the essence of amiability. Even the Germans 
left off blowing kisses, and relapsed into bland civility 
when accosted in the gutturals of the Fatherland. 

Although the German privates were men who had 
volunteered for the front, and were, more or less, 
picked representatives of the army, the German con- 
tingent, except for the mechanical perfection of its 
drill, was something of a disappointment. The goose- 
step before attack, for instance, made the other Allies 
wonder whether the Teutons imagined themselves 
rehearsing for a pantomime. Their transport was 
considered bad, their hospitals poorly managed, and 
many of their men were lost through disease. Their 
infantry excelled the other branches of their service. 
Some of their artillery - men treated us to a novel 
exhibition of horse-breaking by stoning one of the 
battery animals which had broken loose. Some of 
the officers, however, were splendidly mounted, and 
one of the best gentlemen jockeys of the Field Force 
had been "made in Germany." 

The weeks went by before we saw Benjamin. He 
had been away from Peking at the time of our arrival, 
and was much astonished to find a pile of telegrams 
awaiting his return. They had been sent him by 
anxious Shanghai acquaintances, who had been kind 
enough to feel alarmed about our hasty move, but 
whose information reached him no sooner than our 



364 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

letters, telling of the good Samaritans who had taken 
us in. Benjamin, in his turn, went house- hunting in 
the capital, and as he was still unable to take leave 
to come and fetch us, he wrote glowing prognostica- 
tions of the future that awaited us in a genuine 
Pekingese abode. 

Anemone now thought it time to see about ser- 
vants, and in any case we were in need of a 
"lady's-boy." 

The occupation of North China by the Allies was 
by no means an unmixed evil to the Celestials. 
Curio dealers received larger prices for rubbish than 
had ever been known throughout Chinese history, 
and servants' wages went up by leaps and bounds. 
We did not wonder at this as we heard our hostess 
interviewing her house boy on the subject of pro- 
viding us with a servant. " My savvee, boy, now 
belong plenty muchee wages. Allo thing now plenty 
muchee cost. Plenty muchee wages must catch ee, 
my savvee, boy." 

We thought the boy " savveed " it too quite suffi- 
ciently without any need of the fact being so im- 
pressed. Our purses also " savveed" it, and at the 
rate of payment demanded Anemone decided that 
we could only afford a general servant when we 
took up housekeeping in Peking. 

" We will keep this boy they are fetching and 
train him as a ' general,' " she said. 

The house boy was determined that we should 
have our money's worth in splendour ; and our 
"general" when he arrived might have been Tung 
Fuhsiang or any other smart celebrity, though his 
expression was too benign for us to credit him with 
anti-foreign views. He stood six feet high, and was 
attired in gorgeous brocades. The outer coat was 



TONGKU, TIENTSIN. 365 

dark blue, the inner lining was pale blue, and a 
touch of rose pink was artistically added here and 
there. He held himself loftily before us, with his 
hands lost to view in his coat -sleeves and his eyes 
fixed haughtily at a point above our heads. He 
was manifestly a Number One boy that is to say, 
he corresponded to a family butler at home, who 
gives his orders to the footmen and lives in an 
atmosphere of dignified pomposity. 

Anemone asked not a single question. His former 
characters and his present capabilities were not in- 
quired into by her. She only looked at me and 
murmured, "I am not equal to him. Are you?" 

I said I thought I was, and I invited him to 
follow me " topside " and then gave him the benefit 
of my advice. 

" My savvee you belong number one boy. My 
savvee too you catchee number one, number two, 
number three, number four boy's pay. So you 
belong number one, number two, number three, 
number four boy ; and number one, number two, 
number three, number four boy's pidgin belong 
you too." 

Here I was rather interrupted by our hostess in 
the next room inquiring whether she could help me 
in my arithmetical difficulties. However, Shih Fang, 
the new domestic, understood. I gave him the shoes 
to clean, the brushes to wash, the skirts to brush, 
and was more amazed at my temerity than if I had 
so encroached upon the functions of the magnate of 
a servants' hall. However, in the mornings Shih 
Fang divested himself of his finery and appeared in 
white tights, and did the duty of number two, number 
three, number four boy. In the afternoons he re- 
sumed his brocades and the whole solemnity of a 



366 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

number one. Anemone considered that he would 
lend style to any establishment, and Fido's infidelity 
had been opportune after all. 

Thus provided with a " general," we were all 
readiness when Benjamin came to fetch us at last. 
Once more there was packing to be done, and 
" PEKING" to be written in large letters on all 
our labels. This was just accomplished and the 
rickshaws were at the door when a telegram arrived 
from the General -in -Command. Benjamin tore it 
open. 

" Mrs March and sister-in-law are not to reside in 
Peking," was what it curtly announced. 

Anemone sat down on her label and reduced 
"PEKING" to an ink-stain. 

" You had better go, or you will miss your train," 
she said. 

Benjamin departed, and I sat down opposite 
Anemone on my box, and in my turn made a 
smudge of "PEKING." 



367 



CHAPTER XXVII. 

TIENTSIN, PEKING. 

SINCE the ice had vanished from the Pei-ho a 
succession of globe-trotting ladies had passed through 
to Peking. Three at once had even pounced down 
upon a certain renowned newspaper correspondent, 
regardless of being complete strangers to him, and 
of his never having entertained ladies before in his 
life, as he piteously confided to Benjamin. Conse- 
quently Anemone and I, for whom a Chinese house 
had been properly requisitioned, felt ourselves very 
badly used. I told Anemone, in the ears of the 
Headquarters' Staff, that the General might have 
the right to interfere about his officers' wives, but 
that I, as a mere sister, was outside the pale of 
his jurisdiction. 

" Oh no ! you are not," said the members of the 
Headquarters' Staff. " Of course you belong you 
loth belong to the Field Force." 

We said we thought not in fact, we preferred 
not to, if they had no objection. However, we did 
not wish to be rude, and at last acquiesced as they 
seemed so pressing about it. Only, if we belonged 
to the Field Force, we thought we were entitled to 
decorations. 

The Headquarters' Staff suggested that we might 



368 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

receive medals as camp-followers. There were three 
of them followers, not medals hanging over a wall 
at that moment like so many shapeless bundles of 
swarthy humanity ; one could not quite make out 
where the faces began and the clothes left off. As 
the Indian soldiers were mostly attended by servitors, 
the followers were many. Among the undiscerning 
Allies they were sometimes exalted to heights to 
which their imaginations could have never dared 
to scale. A group of them was included in the 
Japanese photographic account of the Expedition, 
and was proudly entitled " Officers and Men of the 
British Indian Army." Anemone found it refreshing 
to find that the Japanese could be inaccurate, and 
considered that copies of the photo should be dis- 
tributed through India as a compliment to the 
coolie class. 

The meek and mild brown bundles must sometimes 
have been rather surprised at the encomiums lavished 
upon them. After a successful expedition outside 
Shan-hai-Kwan, undertaken by a party of French 
and the 20th Punjab Infantry, the former were so 
enraptured at the valour of their fellow-combatants 
that the officer in command flung himself upon the 
neck of a bhisti, or water-carrier, who innocently 
encountered the force on its return. 

" Ah ! mon brave," he cried in excitement. " Ah ! 
mon brave, tu es vrai soldat ! " 

One might have thought the Japanese would have 
known better, as the Anglo -Japanese Alliance was 
already in the making on the shores of Far Cathay. 
In fact, the Japanese identified themselves with the 
British to the extent of classifying their other Allies 
as " dagos " ; and one day a very ruffled little Jap 
marched up in great indignation with the complaint 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 369 

that "a d d macaroni - eating dago" had been 

insulting him. Any liberties the British took were 
received with serenity, and they let themselves be 
made use of as walking - sticks by a certain British 
general, about six foot four in height, who used to 
seize the small warriors by the heads in the exuber- 
ance of his affection, and twist them round and round, 
exclaiming, " How I do love these little Japs ! " 

As it happened, the coming adversaries of the 
Japanese the Cossacks almost rivalled their future 
foes in the affections of most Britishers. It is true 
they were constantly drunk, but their admirers said 
that it did not seem to matter, as they were " such 
gentlemen even in their cups.'* The officers were not 
thought much of, but they too were quite pleasant 
little people, whom it was difficult to associate with 
the massacre and bloodshed that is all one hears 
about them in newspaper reports. In fact, all the 
Russians were most agreeable ; but then, as Anemone 
said, it might be easier for us all to be the same if 
truthfulness need never be taken into account. 

Anything connected with the Steppes seemed to 
have a fascination, though why it should we had not 
the remotest idea. Anyway, we were charmed with 
the Russians for inviting us to see a Cossack riding 
display. The Cossacks were mounted on shaggy 
little ponies, and looked clean and tidy and sur- 
prisingly harmless in white caps and coats. It was 
only natural that men partly of Tartar origin, to 
whom the symbol of authority in bygone days had 
been a standard of horses' tails, should seem equally 
at home in the saddle, whether sitting, lying dangling 
across it, or standing on their heads or their heels. 
Sometimes two or three mounted a single pony, and 
locked their legs together over the saddle, and 

2 A 



370 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

doubled back on opposite sides, with heads almost 
touching the ground. Then the Cossacks changed 
their expressions and their performances at one and 
the same time. They suddenly gave a wild war-whoop 
and charged ferociously, firing rifles and brandishing 
swords. The remembrance of them as they galloped 
past makes one glad one does not inhabit a Russian 
street which they are ordered to patrol. As a finale 
they rode slowly away together, chanting in chorus 
some pathetic old folk-song. We did not know the 
language, so could not tell whether they sang the 
praises of Bogdan Khmelnitski, the great Hetman, 
under whom the Cossacks revolted against the Poles 
and transferred their allegiance to the Tsar. The 
eerie melody made them less like Russian soldiers 
and more like w T ild Steppes' bandits, and as their 
name " Kazak" is supposed to have signified " robber," 
this in all probability is what they originally were. 

At the end of the performance the Russian officers 
were profuse in their gratitude, and appeared to con- 
sider themselves enormously indebted to us by our 
amiability in allowing ourselves to be entertained. 
So we returned home, feeling quite gratified ; it was 
such a contrast to the way in which some English 
hostesses seem to expect your fervent thanksgivings 
for having been gathered together for no ostensible 
purpose except to be hopelessly bored. 

We saw even better riding a day or two after- 
wards, when the Bombay Cavalry practised for the 
Peking Assault-at-arms. They had large chargers to 
manage instead of little ponies, so the trick riding 
was harder and yet was better done. No circus 
horses could have been better trained. 

Great friendship sprang up between the Indian 
troops and the Chinese. " The Chinaman is a gentle- 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 371 

man," was the almost unanimous verdict of the natives 
of Hindostan. One constantly saw them fraternising, 
and more than one " so war" perhaps did a good turn 
to the Empire by giving a good report of British 
rule. The Chinese regiment was certainly effective 
in the way of instilling confidence into Celestial 
minds ; and when one remembers the large part this 
regiment played in the fighting, and how efficient it 
proved itself in all the work intrusted to it, one 
can only feel certain that in discarding the martial 
services of John Chinaman the Empire has sustained 
a very real loss. 

At that time we did not see much of the Chinese 
in the Settlement, but we could more than make up 
for this deficiency in the native city, where their 
attractions were a good deal marred by ophthalmia 
and other unbecoming complaints, and toeless feet and 
all manner of gruesome deformities. 

The Provisional Government at that time managed 
affairs at the Yamen, and had placed a petition box 
outside, which the Chinese looked upon with much 
awe, as they believed it to be fitted with an electrical 
apparatus which was set in violent motion by any 
important petition, but hardly gave any indication of 
insignificant applications. Whatever contempt the 
Chinese may feel for the " outer barbarians," their 
belief in their powers is certainly flattering at 
times. 

The thieves' bazaar was our favourite haunt in the 
native city. This hardly sounds respectable, but our 
visits there were really most innocent, as no plunder 
came our way gratis, and with so much competition 
between buyers, curio dealers charged a sort of famine 
price. Shin Fang used to escort us, but we preferred 
to do our own bargaining to avoid the " squeeze " 



372 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

which he was certain to extract. Some people dis- 
approved of our private excursions, and said they 
were not " safe," so one day in a weak moment we 
consented to be chaperoned by a party to the thieves' 
bazaar. Our friends went in rickshaws, Anemone 
and I were on China ponies, consequently the others 
expected us to act as guides. Shih Fang was not 
with us to direct us, the rickshaw coolies would take 
no responsibility, and the tortuous streets were a maze. 
Before we even entered them we were challenged by 
a little Jap sentry, who let the rickshaws pass un- 
molested, but wanted to interfere with Anemone and 
me. However, we charged him, brandishing our 
" naighakas," for we had armed ourselves with Cossack 
whips. He pointed his bayonet, but we rode over 
him, and have gloried in the achievement ever since. 
We were rather pleased with this commencement, but 
our friends in the rickshaws were of a different 
opinion, as the coolies had taken fright and bolted, 
and they had been almost jolted off their seats. 
There was no room to run away once we reached the 
native city ; there was no room even to turn round, 
which was particularly inconvenient, as we needed 
plenty of scope for making experiments down wrong 
streets. We had started early, but it was decidedly 
late by the time we arrived triumphantly at what 
should have been the thieves' bazaar. Our friends 
left their rickshaws. They felt stiff and sore and 
battered, and made significant observations that 
bargains would need to be very good to make up for 
all they had undergone. The coolies sat down and 
contemplated some hours' tranquillity. Anemone and 
I made inquiries, and found that the thieves' bazaar 
was closed for the day. Nobody would have cared to 
exchange their lot for ours at that moment, though 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 373 

we made the most of circumstances by carefully ex- 
plaining how everybody but ourselves was in the 
wrong. Anemone had just successfully proved how 
much a martyr she had been to my folly, and I was 
showing how I had suffered on her account, when 
some one returned from the exploration of a remote 
corner and gave evidence of two dealers and some 
wares. We determined to make the most of what 
we could get, and I at once began to drive a brisk 
bargain ; but, unfortunately, the man who placidly 
resigned me all I wanted proved not to be the owner 
of the things. The lawful possessor was overcome 
with indignation. I pressed him to take back his 
property, but that was not in accordance with his 
ideas of " face." His only method of asserting his 
self-respect was to wreak vengeance on his neighbour, 
so he overturned the other man's stall. Crash went 
the china on it ! The crowd closed round and accused 
the two of being Boxers. Our friends said it was no 
place for ladies. Anemone quite agreed, and looked 
at me severely. I did not see how I was to blame, 
though my gain was undeniable, for I had my 
bargains ; to have left them behind would have been 
worse than useless, for they would only have been 
broken into bits. Still, it was very distressing to 
have created such an uproar, and it was more than 
fortunate that a wedding procession diverted general 
attention ; and we made the rickshaw coolies follow 
the sedan-chairs of the bridal party, as the piping 
and squealing of the musical instruments ensured us 
against hearing any further complaints. That was 
the first and last time in China that we undertook to 
guide chaperons. On all other occasions we either 
omitted them or left them to guide us. 

The next time we set out in any numbers was when 



374 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

we went to see the Grand Canal. We rode to the 
city by the same way in which the Allies approached 
when they stormed it, and where they lost about 900 
killed and wounded in the day. Passing through the 
city we were, as usual, a centre of interest to the 
inhabitants. We were as good as a travelling circus 
to the children brought out to stare at us, and in our 
turn longed to buy the babies, they looked so like 
mechanical toys. Beggars were, so to speak, active 
spectators, and bowed their heads to the ground and 
chanted mendicant ditties over and above the usual 
setting of noise and smell. Some of the people were 
too busy having their ears cleaned and their queues 
plaited to take any notice of us. We remarked that, 
although barbers might not become mandarins, there 
seemed no fear of their ever swelling the ranks of the 
unemployed. 

We passed through Sankolinsin's Folly by a gate- 
way guarded by an Italian sentry, and there before 
us stretched the Grand Canal, looking much the same 
no doubt as it did in the thirteenth century when the 
great Kublai Khan completed it, and Marco Polo 
travelled along it on his Chinese official duties intent. 
On the opposite bank three men were tugging a large 
junk, just as others may have done when the Venetian 
travellers marvelled at the advanced civilisation of 
China, and acknowledged themselves as Europeans to 
be little better than the outer barbarians which the 
Celestials have ever since considered them, and 
this in spite of the fact that those early globe-trotters 
hailed from the city of the Doge. 

We came back along the top of the wall and passed 
some Boxer shelters. Oar scenery consisted of graves. 
We found nothing to be astonished at in the material 
tendency of Chinese thought as we looked over the 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 3*75 

teeming evidences of fleshly mortality. The higher 
the grave the greater the inmate ; but, unfortunately, 
no one we met could tell us what magnates had been 
buried under two enormous erections, one a cone, 
crowned by a miniature, three - storied earthened 
pagoda ; the other, next it, a truncated pyramid with 
a fancy top. And there in the vast burial-ground 
was a shepherd feeding his black-faced flock ! Along 
the road below us, Peking carts, rickshaws, and 
wheel-barrows passed occasionally. In the distance, 
rising above the native city, were the three cupolas 
of a Mohammedan mosque, and in places long poles 
projected to indicate a yamen below. A soft light 
idealised everything. Khaki - covered nature was 
struggling to put on her fresh spring clothing, and in 
the Settlement gardens the apple and peach trees were 
dressed out in pink and cream. Anemone thought 
they looked as if they were blushing at having been 
caught by the bright April sunshine before they had 
had time to get out their leaves. Yet they showed their 
common-sense by not taking to their summer things 
too early, for a day or two later spring had a nasty 
snub. A terrible dust-storm swept over Peking, and 
a wind from the north did its utmost to let Tientsin 
have its share. For some hours it positively rained 
mud. There was nothing for it but that winter 
should return for the moment and throw down a snowy 
blanket to cover over the mess. But spring soon 
reasserted itself, and the willows that fringed the 
moat round Pei-yang, the eastern arsenal, were break- 
ing into bud when we rode out there one sunny day. 

This arsenal was said to be one of the biggest in 
the world. It was managed by a Scotchman till the 
time of the Boxer outbreak. The Allied commanders 
had planned to attack it on the 28th June, but the 



376 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Russians started out to take it a day in advance, with 
the result that they were driven back and were sup- 
posed to have lost 2000 men. A British force the 
Naval Brigade and the Chinese Regiment went to 
their help, rushed and took the arsenal, and then 
politely handed it over to the Russians, who then, as 
since, paid a dear price for their unwise ambition, 
as we saw too clearly by all the little crosses round 
us, that told of young lives cut short and misery in 
women's hearts far away. 

Anemone and I were conducted round the battle- 
field by an officer who commanded during the engage- 
ment, a privilege which it is a pity not to be able to 
pass on to everybody, as personal experiences told 
among the actual surroundings are satisfactorily 
productive of thrills. As we rode away the officer 
described all the details of the fighting, and no doubt 
we exhibit our feminine inferiority by having for- 
gotten what he told us of military tactics, only re- 
membering what appealed to our sympathy, the 
story of the poor marine who had the calf of one leg 
blown off and the other leg badly injured, and yet 
ran for his life across the plain to escape from the 
Boxers who had made a fearful end of a wounded 
brother-in-arms. 

We went back by the station and passed the 
great Krupp gun with the help of which the Chinese 
had hoped to demolish Tientsin. Instead, there 
stood the Settlement gradually recovering its looks, 
and the gun on guard outside. Some of the de- 
fenders were already saying good-bye, feeling their 
work was done. The Americans left while we were 
there, and we were glad of it, for the greedy reason 
that they sold off their commissariat supplies, and 
we were able to buy canned fruits and delicacies 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 377 

of all sorts. The American soldier goes in for 
patriotism comfortably. Every private was pro- 
vided with a bed, and the cloth of his coat was 
equal to that worn by a British officer. As to 
the warm gloves and soft leather boots, Anemone 
thought them fit for a lady. They certainly were 
for a gentleman, and possibly that accounted for 
them, as social distinctions are a little confusing 
in the armed forces of the Stars and Stripes. 

Benjamin once heard an officer suggest tenta- 
tively to a private : " If it would suit your con- 
venience I'd recommend your doing so and so." 

" Is that the way you give orders ? " asked 
Benjamin, much interested. 

' Wa'al ! it's like this," said the American. 
' When we get back to Noo York I guess that 
chap '11 resume his capacity as my boss." 

Another officer hoped to advocate the cause of 
democracy by treating an English soldier. " I cal- 
culate," he said, " if I'd been a British officer I 
shouldn't have been drinking along with you like 
this." 

But Tommy was discriminating, and made answer : 
" No offence, sir, but if you was a Britisher you 
wouldn't be an orficer, I expect." 

Departures certainly increased restlessness, more 
especially in Tientsin, where everybody seemed to 
suffer from a sort of chronic state of the jumps. 
Anemone and I found ourselves possessed of a fund 
of energy that would have been most desirable had 
it not been so erratic and ill-timed. When Anemone 
wished to write letters at one o'clock in the morn- 
ing, and I was filled with a desire for exercise when 
everybody else was asleep, we grew anxious about 
each other, till the residents assured us that the 



378 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

climate was entirely to blame. The dry atmosphere 
tightened the nerves, and existences often went snap 
by the tragic means of suicide. Some constitutions 
did not seem affected, but, on the whole, a good 
deal of intensity was put, not only into the day's 
work, but also into the night's play, even to the 
extent of a cavalry charge on chairs down the length 
of the Victoria Road, with any number of world- 
famed personages taking part. A dance at that 
time was certainly a most arduous performance for 
the few ladies. With each turn round the room 
the partner changed, and so did the step and the 
language, until finally one became unconscious 
whether it were a Russian, a German, a French- 
man, an Italian, or a Double Dutchman who clicked 
his heels before one and swept one off. 

We preferred the French band for dance music. 
The German band was too fine for anything inferior 
to Wagner. " Die Walkure," " Lohengrin," and 
" Tannhauser," at the concerts, made us feel trans- 
ported to Bayreuth. 

A lieutenant had command of the German band, 
and was most kind in sending it to play us aubades 
and serenades. He had another speciality as well, 
a dog -cart in which he drove a tandem, a big 
German horse for the wheeler and a little China 
pony in front. It was about the only horse vehicle 
in Tientsin at that time, except one or two official 
tongas, so when I was offered a lift in it to the 
Tientsin races, I thought only of the escape from 
the long, dusty rickshaw ride, and said, "Thank 
you. I shall be charmed." 

I was not quite prepared for the decorations of 
the tandem, nor for the excitements of the drive. 
The big German horse and the little China pony 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 379 

wore garlands of yellow roses, and were covered 
with blue and white draperies. Unfortunately their 
attire kept slipping off sideways, so we had a run- 
ning escort of German soldiers to put it straight 
again. The verandah of the Astor House Hotel was 
crowded with officers, and just as we passed they 
sprang to their feet in excitement, for, with a clang- 
ing clash, the band lieutenant's sword fell out 
behind. 

"You have dropped your sword," I told him, but 
he drove on unconcerned. I suppose he forgot it 
might have been made in Birmingham, and was con- 
vinced no well-regulated German weapon would 
dream of exposing its martial owner to the indignity 
of dropping it. So now we were pursued by a 
scuttling crowd of Celestials carrying the sword, and 
shouting "Stop! stop!" in Chinese in a way that 
made John Gilpin's experiences pale before my own. 

Meanwhile the China pony ambled down all the 
side streets, regardless of the direction in which the 
rest of us were going, till we reached the race- 
course road on which there were no turnings, so he 
then twisted about among the line of rickshaws, 
jeopardising their occupants. As we approached the 
race -course I begged that we might stop quietly 
outside. However, neither the band lieutenant nor 
the China pony wished for this. I might have 
managed to repress one at a time, but their united 
efforts proved too much. For the first time during 
the drive the China pony condescended to move 
in front of the wheeler. He took the bit between 
his teeth and galloped ahead. The band lieutenant 
cracked his whip. The blue and white trappings 
blew out on either side. Yellow roses showered 
around. In this manner we swept up in front of 



380 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

the grand stand, with the field-glasses of the armies 
of Europe focussed upon us, and I felt that the lot 
of Korah, Dathan and Abiram was not without its 
advantages. 

The original race pavilion had been devastated by 
the Boxers. There had been a skirmish just beyond it 
after the siege, when the Japanese cavalry routed and 
killed hundreds of the enemy. The ruined remains 
were still there to remind us of past calamities, but 
who paid attention to them while those cosmopolitan 
horses were the deep consideration of the cosmopolitan 
throng ? Anemone could not decide whether more 
nationalities were numbered among the men or the 
animals. Certainly the latter were varied to a mar- 
vellous degree. There were horses from Europe, 
Asia, Africa, America, and Australasia Arabs, 
Walers, Indian country - breds, China ponies, and 
Barbs that looked like rocking-horses, and made the 
race-course reminiscent of nursery days. The jockeys 
were equally varied and unusually resplendent, as 
some rode in all the glory of their uniforms. 

The French had a steeplechase all to themselves. 
Just as the signal for starting was about to be given, 
one of the riders descended and set up a camera and 
took a portrait of his rocking-horse. The others did 
not seem to mind waiting. Indeed, the whole race 
was conducted throughout with such polished French 
courtesy that Anemone was sure some of the officers 
pulled up at the jumps and said, "Apres vous, 
Monsieur." 

The Tientsin races were at the end of May, and 
with them our sojourn in China ended, but before 
they came to pass, at the end of April we paid our 
respects to Peking. Although not allowed to live 
there, no one could grudge us a visit, and so, in a 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 381 

high state of expectation, we set out for ancient 
Cambulac. 

A guard of soldiers travelled on the train, and the 
most mixed assortment of passengers filled the com- 
partments. Some travelled outside. A party of 
Bersaglieri sat on top of a packed van, cheerfully 
singing and demolishing their lunch, hunks of stale- 
looking bread. Equally gay and vivacious were some 
Japanese in white hospital raiment. At the stations 
bare -necked, baggy -breeched Zouaves came out to 
inspect us, and Chinese children tried to sell us queer 
little animals with pointed snouts. On the country 
roads we often passed men riding. Their straight- 
backed ponies wore curious, clumsy saddles, but the 
donkeys often did without any, and the riders sat so 
far back on the haunches that the luxury of kicking 
could only be indulged in in cases of very light weight. 
Once a deceptive mirage transformed the flat country, 
and we seemed to see mountains and woods and lakes. 
As we neared Peking the scenery grew prettier. The 
land was more cultivated, the vegetation more luxuri- 
ant, and trees became realities instead of phantasies. 

And so in that modern train, with the guardians of 
a freshly formed civilisation, we passed to the site of 
the city of " Chi," believed to have been in existence 
as long ago as 1121 B.C. Though this original city 
was destroyed, other buildings seem soon to have 
taken its place, and to have formed an important 
district city, which by successive tribes of Tartars 
was elevated to the rank of a capital. It was laid 
waste by Jenghiz Khan when the Mongolians con- 
quered North China ; but his grandson, Kublai Khan, 
built a new city near by, named Khan-balik, the City 
of the Khan, or Cambulac, as Marco Polo called it. 
It is to this period that most of the present palaces 



382 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

are said to date their origin. At the succession of the 
Ming dynasty Nanking was made the capital, and it 
was not till the reign of the third Ming Emperor, 
Yung-lo, that Khan-balik resumed its old dignity as 
the first city of the Empire. By Yung-lo it was 
named Pei-ching, or the Northern Capital, and there 
the Ming and Maiichu Emperors have ever since 
resided in the Forbidden City, the walled-in Holy of 
Holies that enshrines the Imperial palace. There 
they have passed a sort of Arabian Nights' entertain- 
ment existence that would, no doubt, make excellent 
" copy " for stories, but might be a little trying as a 
personal experience. It almost seemed as though we 
were going to take part in it when we heard our 
destination announced as " the Temple of Heaven." 
Anemone thought it would be more suitable to step 
off a magic carpet than out of a railway compart- 
ment. Yet ours, after all, is the real wonder age. 
We are only ceasing to tell fairy tales because, instead, 
we enact them. The minds that pictured flying 
carpets would see their wildest imaginings surpassed 
by our rushing train. 

At the Temple of Heaven Benjamin met us, and 
so did a company of Sappers, and two large waggons 
drawn by teams of horses with riders. They were 
intended for our luggage, and the score of packages 
that generally accompanied us, without having any 
provision made for them whatsoever, would no doubt 
have been much accommodated by the preparations, 
but with the irony of fate we had restricted the num- 
ber of our boxes to suit the limitations of our stay 
in Peking ; consequently our two small trunks looked 
very meagre in their vast surroundings. However, 
Shih Fang mounted too, and sat upon them in the 
splendour of his blue brocades. 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 383 

Of the Temple of Heaven we saw only the wall 
that encompassed the enclosure. Its exploration had 
to be left to a future date, so, when the waggons 
were out of sight and the dust had subsided, we 
started off for the Tartar city in our more humble 
conveyances. 

Our first observation was on the state of the roads, 
as they caused our transit in rickshaws to feel rather 
like trotting on China ponies. Our next observation 
was on the dust which immediately enveloped us, and 
as it was perfectly black we anxiously watched each 
other assume the complexion of African negroes. A 
band of Cossacks formed a superfluous escort most of 
the way, and in consequence hastened our acquire- 
ment of the Ethiopian tinge. The third observation 
was on the width of the roads, so different to the 
narrowness of the alleys in most Chinese cities. All 
the same, they were not much more convenient as 
thoroughfares, as both sides were blocked up with 
booths, and the citizens bought and sold, hammered 
and sawed, fashioned and sewed, plaited their hair, 
had their heads shaved, and did anything else that 
occurred to them for general edification in the side- 
ways. Most of the streets were made more complex 
by raised causeways down the centre. As these were 
thronged by people on foot, by Peking carts, rick- 
shaws, sedan-chairs, and long lines of contemptuous- 
looking camels, the " changes and chances of this 
mortal life " seemed likely to be increased by tumbles 
over the edges. The causeways had utilitarian pur- 
poses of their kind, no doubt, and caused the sideways 
to be more conveniently transformed into drains during 
the rainy periods. Behind the booths were houses 
with curved, peaked roofs and picturesque sign-boards 
hanging in front of them. When we entered the 



384 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Tartar city we came on a number of desolate ruins, 
and most of the really nice houses, where we caught 
glimpses of picturesque courtyards, had foreign sen- 
tries at the gateways, and foreign flags to mark their 
appropriation by one or other of the Allies. 

Walls are almost the chief feature of Peking. This 
did not surprise us, knowing as we did how the in- 
habitants of all Chinese towns, and even villages, 
delight in feeling themselves securely, or more often 
insecurely, surrounded. The famous Great Wall 
shows the futile attempt to make a walled enclosure 
of an empire. Consequently Peking is not content 
with outer walls, but every section of its interior is 
encircled by mammoth ramparts. The wall of the 
Tartar city is about forty feet high, and so wide 
across the top that a meeting of the Four-in-Hand 
Club might almost be managed comfortably upon it. 
The view of the precipices on either side might be 
rather shattering to nerves, but the same trial, in a 
minor degree, has to be endured in taking exercise 
along the causeways. The wall of the Chinese city 
is lower and has seven gates, while the wall of the 
Tartar city has nine, the largest of all being the 
Ch'ien-men, or Front Gate, with three archways. It 
was still in a very demolished state when we passed 
through it, as, in addition to the damage it received 
at the time of the siege, its towers were accidentally 
burnt by our troops the day after the relief of the 
Legations. The Tartar city wall was erected by the 
Emperor Yung-lo in the year 1419. The suburbs to 
the south that now form the Chinese city were walled 
in more than a century afterwards. 

We had just passed through the Ha-ta-men gate 
when the rickshaw coolies stopped by a little arch- 
way, and Benjamin informed us that we had arrived 



TIENTSIN, PEKING. 385 

at our destination. We should not have known it 
without being told, for the queer little courtyard 
into which we passed, and the series of little peaked- 
roofed houses beyond, with other paved courts to 
connect them, did not convey the usual idea of a 
hostelry, and we felt more as though we were the 
guests of a mandarin than ordinary hotel visitors. 

The dining - hall monopolised a whole building. 
That night a German band played, and the place 
was packed by a heterogeneous collection of officers. 
We could hear the music in our rooms, which were 
in another building that consisted of four little apart- 
ments divided by paper partitions. My wall had the 
drawback of being composed more of holes than of 
paper. By the bed an extra large tear gave a full 
view of an individual stretched on his couch just the 
other side of the partition. However, publicity did 
not seem to distress him, as he kept up an illumina- 
tion of candles, instead of going to bed in the dark 
the example which I set him. 

Anemone's wall was more intact, but of quite as 
flimsy a character. I found her much perturbed by 
having to do audience to the conversation of a couple 
installed on the other side of it. It was mysterious 
as well as embarrassing, as we heard names of people 
we knew being mentioned ; but of course, as we 
might have expected, next day out walked some 
former acquaintances, and we found ourselves shaking 
hands and saying, " How do you do ? " in the most 
natural manner. We might have lived in London 
for years, and have never come across each other, 
but as far off as Peking we were not the least aston- 
ished to find them only parted from us by a paper 
barrier. 

The band played us a lullaby that first night, and 

2 B 



386 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

now and again we could hear the host militant break 
into a vigorous chorus. As I turned my back to the 
tattered wall I turned my face to the clear round 
moon sailing above a peaked roof, and flooding a 
quaint, paved court, just as it might have done in 
the Golden Age, two thousand years before Christ, 
during the reigns of the Yellow Emperor and his suc- 
cessors, Yao and Shun, when no doors needed barring, 
because there were no such people as robbers, and 
the ideal Simple Life was practised by everybody in 
China. 



387 



CHAPTER XXVIII. 



PEKING. 

ANEMONE decided that the mere streets of Peking gave 
us quite sufficient scope at first for sight-seeing. For 
one thing, it was so interesting to find ourselves among 
Manchus ; not that there was anything to make one 
particularly aware of the fact, except the head-dresses 
of the women, which project on either side of the head, 
with a flower adorning each end, unlike the Chinese 
women's closely - coiled locks with their flatter orna- 
mentations. At the time of the Manchu conquest the 
male population of China had abjectly to conform to 
Manchu ideas of hair - dressing. Not so the ladies ! 
They immediately asserted woman's rights on the sub- 
ject of dress ; and General Wu San-kuei, upon tendering 
his allegiance, had to make special stipulations that the 
women were to be allowed to squeeze their feet as usual, 
and make no alterations in the way they did their hair. 
To the European idea a pig-tail is so much the dis- 
tinguishing feature of a Chinese that it is difficult to 
realise that, no further back than the middle of the 
seventeenth century, the queue and its shaven sur- 
roundings were mere marks of subjection to the Manchu 
conquerors. There is a difference of opinion as to 
whether the Manchus themselves wore tails before they 
enforced them upon the vanquished. Some authorities 
believe that they took to them in imitation of the horses 



388 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

so much beloved by the Tartar tribes, and consider that 
the horse-shoe shape of their sleeves gives further con- 
firmation to this theory. 

When the Manchus first conquered Peking the Tartar 
city was made the residence of the military, or banner- 
men, so called because the army was divided under 
eight banners. But as even the bannermen were not 
all Manchus, but also included Mongols and Chinese, 
and the shopkeepers of the Tartar city were Chinese, 
and numbers of other Chinese have since bought the 
houses of bannermen, it was not surprising that 
Anemone and I noticed very little that was exclusively 
Tartar about the Tartar city. 

In the shops the Chinese were just as ready to give us 
kind advice over purchases as any other of their country- 
men, once they had been persuaded out of their correct 
indifference as to whether we were going to buy. Our 
conversation was apt to be a little monotonous, as it 
had to be carried on in Chinese, and our knowledge of 
northern mandarin consisted of such remarks as " To 
shao ch'ien?" "T'ai kuei" (how much? too dear), 
necessary but not deeply interesting observations. Still, 
no doubt, we gave them all the variety we could by 
playing havoc with the intonations. At any rate the 
shopkeepers seemed quite pleased, and regaled us on 
tea, with strict impartiality as to whether we were 
purchasers or mere admirers of their possessions. The 
only danger was when I mistook the teapot for a curio, 
and, turning it round to examine it, poured its scalding 
contents over Anemone. The salesmen simply fetched 
fresh tea, while the original supply dripped alternately 
off the antiques and Anemone, so I replied to the latter's 
protestations by a panegyric upon Chinese equanimity. 
Certainly it merited praise, for some of the wares were 
too beautiful to run risks of a deluge. They included a 
jade vase made in the shape of a lotus flower, and little 



PEKING. 389 

crystal snuff-boxes most exquisitely painted in the in- 
sides, unconscious object-lessons of Carlyle's definition 
of genius. We were shown a vast selection of china, 
some crackled, some with the lace pattern, the china so 
delicate that the light shone through in places. The 
bronzes dated back so many centuries before we were 
born or thought of, that they made us feel quite vulgarly 
new and modern by comparison. Most of the best bits 
of cloisonne had been made in the reign of Ch'ien-lung, 
when perfection in enamelling is said to have reached 
its height. The art is not indigenous to China, but 
seems to have been introduced there from Western Asia 
about the thirteenth century A.D., and to have also been 
brought independently to the southern provinces by the 
Arabs a century or more later. The French Jesuits, 
during the Ta' Ming dynasty, seem to have occupied 
themselves much with the art ; and the Celestial we 
found at the head of the modern factory spoke French 
and looked French, in spite of his queue, out of compli- 
ment, I suppose, to early Gallic proficiency. Speaking 
generally, Chinese curios have a higher value in China 
than in other countries where their worth is not fully 
appreciated. Some of the buyers of loot might have 
done better to have sold their bargains to Chinese 
instead of sending them over to England, where their 
chief purchasers are said to have been their original 
owners who reclaimed them for Far Cathay. 

One of the generals lent me his charger to help me to 
explore Peking. It was rather an agitating process, as 
the steed took command and I was obliged to obey and 
sit meekly on him while he practised jumping off the 
causeways, regardless of the Peking carts, the camels, 
the sedan-chairs, the booths, and the salesmen, who 
expostulated in a chorus of impotent rage. Benjamin 
suggested that the outside of the Tartar city walls 
might suit the charger better as a scene of action, and 



390 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

that I could at the same time examine the Water Gate 
where, at the time of the relief, the Indian troops first 
effected their entrance. But quiet examination and the 
general's charger were not to be enjoyed at one and the 
same time. The scenery was not what one is accus- 
tomed to in a city, so I suppose he thought his behaviour 
might follow suit. Above us rose the grim wall, and 
below it, on the rough embankment, he started off at a 
break-neck gallop, jumping the chasms that intervened, 
for, possibly due to the siege and the fighting, the 
ground came here and there to abrupt terminations that 
I found very alarming, though the charger showed the 
utmost indifference to such minor inconveniences. It 
is doubtful whether any of the Legation relievers en- 
dured more agitating emotions than mine on the out- 
side of the Tartar wall. In fact, the Indian troops had 
no cause for agitation, for, as everybody knows, they 
strolled into Peking unopposed. On that memorable 
14th of August a combined attack had been planned by 
the Allies. At two o'clock in the morning, however, the 
Eussians crept out stealthily, hoping to be the first 
to arrive. In a twinkling the Japanese followed them, 
and the French soon after also set out. The British 
General refused to move. " We stick to our orders," 
he said, " and start at 6 A.M." The Chinese met the 
advancing enemy and kept them engaged in battle, 
while at the appointed hour the British quietly started, 
and at ten o'clock a company of mounted Sikhs came in 
through the Water Gate and were the first to relieve 
the Legation. 

What a small place it was, that British Legation 
where the ministers of eleven nations and people of 
fourteen nationalities were cooped up for so many long 
weeks. As we looked down on it from the top of the 
Tartar wall it seemed as though it must have been 
almost impossible for the Chinese to have avoided 



PEKING. 391 

taking it. To understand how this came about one 
has to remember that out of fifty Krupp guns they 
are said to have only succeeded in firing one, and that 
Professor Gamewell bought his ammunition for the 
defence from the attacking Chinese. At that time, too, 
the Celestials looked upon crackers as suitable weapons 
of war. Retirement was a tactic to be carried out first 
by the general in command, and so on from higher to 
lower grades in proper order of precedence. When the 
Chinese fight again it may be under very altered 
conditions. Our own Chinese regiment has shown the 
excellent fighting qualities of John Chinaman. The 
reorganisation of the Chinese army is becoming an 
accomplished fact. The people are said to be ceasing 
to look upon soldiers with disdain and horror. Chinese 
officers are in Europe studying military methods. 
Yuan Shi Kai is believed to be working hard at the 
formation of a Chinese army on the European pattern. 
It is estimated that in ten years' time China will be 
able to put over a million trained soldiers into the field. 
When the Celestials take up the art of warfare as 
seriously as their ordinary daily avocations, one cannot 
but imagine that they will excel in that as much as in 
anything else. 

More terrible than the siege of the Legations was the 
siege of Pei-tang, the Eoman Catholic Mission, where 
Monsignor Favier held out so bravely with three 
officers and a small force of about forty French and 
Italian marines. The fagade of the cathedral when we 
saw it was still riddled by shot. Inside the building, 
however, a Chinese priest was officiating, and Chinese 
converts were praying as placidly as though Christians 
had never been persecuted in China, but had always 
been accorded the privileges they enjoyed at the close 
of the sixteenth century, when Ricci, the great Jesuit 
missionary, was high in favour with the Emperor, and 



392 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

there seemed for a time some prospect of the Chinese 
showing the same favour towards Eoman Catholicism 
that Buddhism had already received. 

Three thousand native converts had been included 
among the besieged. 

" Whatever could they have fed on ? That is what 
puzzles me," said Anemone. 

We had left the cathedral and passed into the 
grounds through the Mission buildings. There 
Anemone's problem was solved with pathetic realism, 
for all the trees were stripped of their bark, and had 
the most pitiable skinned appearance that was elo- 
quent in explaining the wretched diet of the miser- 
able refugees. 

"What a sight for an epicure!" said Anemone. 
" One certainly never knows what one can eat till 
one tries." 

Beyond, we saw the great mine the Chinese had 
exploded, though even that success did not give them 
courage to rush the place. The Italian lieutenant in 
command had been buried alive on his bed by this 
explosion, and it took three-quarters of an hour to 
dig him out. Sceur Angele gave a most graphic de- 
scription of the horrors of his experience. She was 
one of the sisters who worked in the Mission and 
helped to educate the Chinese girls. She wore a dark- 
blue serge dress with a white apron, and a great white 
cap shrouded her face. Winter and summer, in cold 
and heat, she said she had always to wear the same 
clothes. We could not help wondering why sanctity 
need violate the rules laid down for general learning 
in nature's great lesson - book. The vegetation and 
trees may have foliage appropriate to the season. Why 
should the poor little nun be made uncomfortable to be 
good? 

She told us of the Mother Superior, who kept a diary 



PEKING. 393 

through the siege and died five days after the rescue, 
which did not take place until the 16th August, as 
poor Pei-tang was forgotten for two days after the 
relief of the Legations, and the Japanese were the first 
to remember to free the sufferers. 

Soeur Angele had great dark eyes and was very 
sprightly. We noticed that members of the Field Force 
seemed much in need of her as guide. Anemone con- 
sidered that a siege was most out of place at a convent. 
When any one has taken the trouble to forsake the 
world for a sisterhood it must be a little upsetting to 
find the world still come chasing after one in the shape 
of field brigades. 

Soeur Angele and the siege of the Pei-tang seemed 
like a chapter out of a story-book, but the volume was 
changed, and we were back in the Arabian Nights' 
world when we left the cathedral to go to the Mei-shan, 
or Coal Hill. Our way lay across a great lake, green 
with a covering of lotus leaves, and spanned by a bridge 
of the purest white marble. Above the Forbidden City 
walls fantastic roofs with coloured tiles showed among 
the tender green of the fresh spring foliage. On an 
island in the lake rose a thickly-wooded hill, and on 
its summit stood the rather ponderous-looking Ming 
pagoda. Marble-paved ways led to the ruins of what 
had once been the Winter Palace burnt down earlier 
that year, together with the asbestos house Count von 
Waldersee had specially taken to China on account of 
its supposed fireproof qualities. Beside the lake's edge 
we saw a miniature railway line, said to have been laid 
for the amusement of the Empress-Dowager. Anemone 
found it pathetic to think of this. It advertised the 
captive playing at liberty, and pretending to be free 
when bowed down by the yoke of bondage. 

Benjamin thought the term "captivity" not well 
applied to Yehonala. "She has been free enough to 



394 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

do no end of mischief," he complained, with a great 
want of imagination, for Anemone and I were both 
agreed that the mischief had ensued from want of 
proper freedom. Had the Dowager-Empress been able 
to wander where she liked, could she have harangued 
mandarins in public anywhere, and have shown off 
her costumes to the general public, it is more than 
probable that she might have been more discreet in 
her love affairs and less vindictive to her near relations. 
When one thinks of the restraint women have under- 
gone for years and years, one can only wonder that 
they have not indulged more in mischievous outbreaks. 
" Give a horse his head and he won't come a cropper " 
was a favourite maxim of Benjamin's. Anemone and I 
thought it might be very suitably applied to the cases 
of many women. At any rate, that pure white marble 
bridge, the pagoda-crowned hill, and the lotus-covered 
lake, made us think charitably of Tse Hsi, for only good 
fairies and no evil genii seemed in keeping with the 
most beautiful surroundings any one could picture in 
the heart of a city. 

The view, too, from Mei-shan, Coal Hill, made us 
agree that Peking, apart from its drawbacks, was the 
most fascinating city of our acquaintance. The hill 
itself was artificially made, and coal is supposed to have 
been stored beneath it centuries ago as a precaution in 
case of siege. It was covered with trees, mostly species 
of fir, and among them temples had been prettily 
situated. Some of these had been destroyed, and had 
nothing to show for themselves except melancholy 
ruins ; but on the summit a blue - roofed temple re- 
mained, though its idols had been looted. From here 
we looked down on the marble bridge and the lake 
covered over with water-lilies. In another direction, 
in a straight line to the south, stretched the Imperial 
Palace, with its porcelain roofs of yellow the imperial 



PEKING. 395 

colour. Here and there green-tiled roofs proclaimed 
the habitations of high princely connections, and blue 
roofs, imitating the colour of the sky, marked temples 
for the worship of Heaven. Kound the Forbidden City 
rose the protecting wall with large projecting gateways. 
Beyond, in the distance, were glimpses of the other great 
walls of the Tartar and Chinese cities. For studies in 
roofs China is perhaps unsurpassed ; and in Peking we 
saw coloured tiles embowered in trees that made the 
old capital look like a model for a garden city. On the 
horizon was a purple outline of hills, veiled by a golden 
haze that was nothing else than the ubiquitous dust of 
Chih-li, charitably idealised by the sunshine. What 
interested us most was the Forbidden City, whose hal- 
lowed precincts had for so many centuries been pro- 
hibited to all except high officials and actual court 
retainers. The very hill on which we stood was one of 
its protections, and was meant to guard it on the north 
from all evil influences. It did not seem to have suc- 
ceeded, for the Emperor and Empress were fugitives, 
and their sacred domicile was in the charge of " foreign 
devils," who had not the least compunction about in- 
truding. We, for instance, on leaving Mei-shan rick- 
shawed round to the southern entrance, where an 
American sentry examined our passes and told us to 
" go right in,' 7 with a nasal twang that belonged to the 
Bowery, and had no connection whatsoever with an east- 
ern potentate. Anemone thought it enough to make the 
skeletons of the Ming emperors shudder in their tombs, 
let alone the absent bodies of the living Manchu rulers. 
To "go right in " took some time. We had first 
to cross one of the five marble bridges that led over 
the moat encircling the outer wall, after which we 
passed through an entrance which had a large upper 
hall built above the passage - way. After the relief 
this had been found filled with bows and arrows, and 



396 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Chinese swords that had evidently been made in 
Birmingham. On the other side we walked along a 
marble - paved way through the great courtyard that 
led to the triple entrance of the inner wall of the 
Forbidden City. Arrived safely inside we were re- 
ceived by a mandarin, to Anemone's and my huge 
satisfaction. Peking without mandarins had seemed 
very incomplete, and so far these dignitaries had been 
conspicuous by their absence. We knew our guide 
was a genuine mandarin by his head-gear, which, we 
thought, looked like a massive lamp - shade crowned 
by a miniature lamp - globe. The globe was really 
the world - renowned " mandarin's button," and its 
colour pink in this particular case was the index 
to the rank of the wearer, and so we supposed was 
the feather that trailed down the back of the lamp- 
shade, but all we gathered from it was that it was 
certainly not a peacock's. Anemone took it for a 
crow's, only, that being the case, as crows' feathers 
are inexpensive, there seemed no occasion for its be- 
draggled appearance, in spite of hard times in the 
palace. However, the feather was only in keeping with 
the condition of the whole place. Everywhere through 
chinks in the marble-paved courts and steps grass and 
weeds were sprouting. We passed through the main 
buildings in a direct line from south to north, each of 
the yellow - roofed edifices being separated from the 
next one by a white marble -paved courtyard. The 
interiors for the most part were gorgeous with bright 
colours, but Anemone's lynx eyes spied out flaws in 
the splendour. I thought it an almost brutal discovery 
when she pointed out that pieces of the ceiling, peel- 
ing off in places, were nothing else than coloured paper 
stuck on to squares of canvas. It was painful to be 
so disillusioned about palaces more than six hundred 
years old, dating back to the reign of Kublai Khan and 



PEKING. 397 

the height of China's prosperity ; but, after all, such 
adjuncts as the papering were no doubt modern, and 
marble courts remained to tell of departed glories, 
with rank grass protruding as mourning for present 
desolations. 

One of the officers in our party was fluent in 
Chinese, so through him we extracted all the in- 
formation we could from the mandarin, whose be- 
setting sin did not appear to be loquacity. As far 
as we could make out the first buildings we passed 
through were reception halls, and formed the outer 
part of the palace. The first, the Hall of Great 
Harmony, had been built for the use of Yung-lo, the 
third Emperor of the Ming dynasty. It was sur- 
rounded by marble balustrades and bronze tortoises 
and storks and eighteen bronze urns, symbols of 
sovereignty over the eighteen provinces of China. 
Inside the hall was a magnificent throne, on which 
the Son of Heaven was intended to seat himself on 
special high days to receive the congratulations and 
homage of his courtiers and important officials. 
Anemone hoped the floor was cleaner on those 
occasions ; she thought it looked most uninviting 
for the headachey ceremony of bumping heads in 
the nine prostrations. Cleanliness and godliness were 
not likely to have been combined in the days of the 
early Jesuit missionaries ; so no doubt they did not 
scrutinise the ground too closely when they performed 
the kow-tow, and were given access to the palace in their 
capacity of painters, astronomers, &c. Since those days 
stringent rules had been made to prevent the entrance 
of any foreigner into the Purple Forbidden City. It 
was not until the 28th August 1900, when the Allied 
troops marched through the palace, that its sacred pre- 
cincts were trodden under foot of the " barbarian." 

We next passed through the Halls of Central and 



398 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Precious Harmony, and reached the entrance to the 
inner palace, called the Gate of Heavenly Purity, as 
we found out in the guide-book. In front were two 
wide-mouthed lions, with muscular legs shaped rather 
like men's arms. Each rested a paw on what was 
intended to represent a ball of silk, according to the 
same guide-book; the mandarin did not condescend 
to such details. His zoological knowledge, in fact, 
did not appear to extend to the bronze menagerie in 
the courtyards, and we wished we had Adam with 
us to name some of the animals. 

The officers of state were said to come to the Gate 
of Heavenly Purity to present petitions, and to be 
present at the five o'clock audiences. We felt the toil- 
ing millions of China were certainly set a good example 
when their ruler commenced his day's labours before 
five o'clock in the morning. Anemone was very anxious 
to know whether he was punctual and left himself 
time beforehand to take his early tea. She insisted 
upon having her query translated ; but the mandarin 
declined to reply, and hid his hands in his coat- 
sleeves and looked at us with " white eyes," as the 
Chinese say that is, with the eyeballs instead of 
the pupils, which is tantamount to not looking. Still, 
one has heard of certain mandarins who have died 
of over- strain from the struggle to be in time at the 
matutinal audiences, after perhaps not being able to 
get to bed till past midnight ; so apparently the Son 
of Heaven is not unpunctual, and does not say with 
the French, " Je five-o'clockerai a sept ou huit heures, 
or any other time that may happen to be convenient." 
The example of hard work is to all appearance first 
set us by the Creator, and of all the races of the 
globe none seem to follow it more closely than the 
Celestials. From the highest to the lowest almost all 
are busy workers. The five o'clock audiences made 



PEKING. 399 

Benjamin cease to wonder at the longevity of China. 
Nations are not cut short till the drones are multi- 
plied. 

We were quite excited to find ourselves crossing 
the threshold of the inner palace the Holy of Holies 
inside the Gate of Heavenly Purity. In the imperial 
library the mandarin's heart melted, and he pre- 
sented me with a yellow silk book-marker, stamped 
with dark letters, from one of the imperial volumes 
which were said to range back to the very earliest 
ages of printing in this country, where the art was 
first discovered. We lingered most in the Emperor's 
bedroom. The bed was in a little recess, and Anemone 
and I sat on it so long that we began to be afraid 
we might make it uncomfortable for the imperial 
slumbers. The rest of the apartment looked like the 
room of a person who might perform his toilet be- 
tween 4 and 5 A.M. The furniture was more adapted 
to the " plums, prunes, and prisms " demeanour of 
our own great-grandparents than the accredited luxury 
of an Oriental potentate. Anemone said the five 
o'clock audiences and straight -backed furniture made 
her convinced that Kuang Hsu might be instructed 
in bodily comforts by many English cooks, who must 
have their sofas to rest on during the intervals of 
cooking the dinner. But then luxury, like so much 
else, is a matter of environment, and lounge - chairs 
and down -pillows might inflict the sufferings of an 
ascetic upon an unaccustomed Manchu back and 
neck. 

We saw some beautiful carvings and lovely bronzes 
and cloisonne, though the apartments had been to a 
great extent denuded by Allies or Manchus. Clocks of 
all descriptions were much in evidence, and appeared 
to form the favourite collection of the imperial family. 
As we passed through the rooms of the different 



400 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

imperial ladies the ornaments became more and more 
shoddy as the rank of the lady increased, till finally 
they paraded little else than European - made trash. 
Yet, after all, the greatest rubbish from the Occident 
was priceless in so far as it fulfilled the conditions of a 
curio. We were shown the suite of rooms used by the 
Do wager -Empress when she was a mere secondary 
wife. Of later years she has not been very partial to 
the Forbidden City, the mandarin told us in confi- 
dence. In one of the ladies' rooms we were shown a 
screen that was certainly worthy to grace a palace of 
the longest -lived empire. It was entirely made of 
ivory and the bright feathers of the blue jay. Men 
and women, trees and flowers, pagodas and gardens, 
were all fashioned in these dainty materials, and the 
gleaming blue of the feathers against the soft cream of 
the ivory was as much a feast for the eyes as the 
exquisite delicacy of the scenes and figures they were 
shaped to represent. 

A number of Manchu ladies were still living in a 
corner of the Forbidden City, but neither bribes, 
threats, nor entreaties would induce the mandarin to 
take us to them. We told him that we would behave 
nicely and do our utmost to entertain them, for we 
were certain that they must often be unutterably bored. 
Such a suggestion seemed novel to the mandarin, as far 
as we could judge from a countenance of utter im- 
perturbability. However, we could see that it had not 
the slightest weight with him. Boredom, interspersed 
by quarrels, was perhaps too much regarded as the 
inevitable condition of the sex. Anemone and I felt 
so disappointed at not having our wishes gratified that 
we were not in the best mood for the inspection of 
the private temple to which we were taken next. It 
was full of beautiful bronze vessels and censers, and 
possessed a great gong and a yet greater bell. The 



PEKING. 401 

idols wore gorgeous clothes, which had probably been 
the garments of princes. They were striped at the 
bottom to indicate high rank. Unfortunately, the 
colours were turning a little dingy, at which we did not 
wonder in that musty atmosphere redolent of stale 
incense and yet staler dust. 

Outside in the garden, shaded by old juniper trees, 
some more Court officials joined us and tea was served. 
They were so affable, and seemed so pleased with our 
society, that we took our time in drinking the tea, 
though Benjamin grew a little restless, as he whispered 
that he was sure he had heard somewhere that tea was 
served in China as a signal that it was time for a guest 
to depart. As we had already taken more than three 
hours over our call, there certainly seemed some prob- 
ability of the tea being a delicate hint, but as none of 
the visitors were certain of the hidden meaning it was 
equally obscure in its effect. Our conversation had to 
be rather restricted, as we had only one interpreter, and 
he insisted that Chinese figures of speech were too com- 
plicated for him to interpret for more than one at a 
time. However, it was soothing to hear our " honour- 
able selves " commented upon in terms of poetic licence, 
and the mere fact of drinking tea with mandarins and 
eunuchs in the Emperor of China's private garden 
seemed to put us on an intimate footing with any 
flowery metaphor. 

Our surroundings need not be described ; they were 
those of willow-pattern china, and I began to be 
nervous lest Anemone should take to a fixed illusion 
that we ourselves were all figures on a tea-service. The 
mandarins regarded her and me with much the same 
surprised affability that we noticed sometimes on the 
faces of Chinese shopmen. " These strange barbarians," 
they seemed to say, " are in terrible need of the teach- 
ings of Confucius. Without them how topsy-turvy 

2 c 



402 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

their ideas have become on the subject of the Five 
Relations, whose true observance has made the Middle 
Empire. How uppish the women have grown, ordering 
people about, and eating and drinking with strange 
men without the least sense of propriety. Copy foreign 
customs ? They are certainly amusing to criticise ; but 
what insensate could imagine that we would copy these 
mushroom growths which owe the best of their puny 
roots to the Chow Ceremonial, the Doctrine of the 
Mean, and the Analects of Confucius those Chinese 
classics at the basis of the world's civilisation ? " 

We gave the mandarins credit for some such 
thoughts, and Anemone and I longed to be able to 
tell them that propriety had better be like the hidden 
foundation-stone than outer veneer, which, though 
showy, does nothing to support the fabric. However, 
instead of theorising upon decorum, we practised it by 
finishing our tea and departing. 

We were escorted to the north gate, where we passed 
out between sentries along the very way, I suppose, 
that the last Emperor of the Ming dynasty hurried to 
the Mei-shan to commit suicide. Poor T'sungcheng ! 
He was to be pitied as he looked down on his city 
burnt and devastated by the rebel Li. He hanged 
himself on a tree, and left the fate of Peking to be 
decided by the fortunes of a little slave girl a great 
beauty, the beloved of General Wu San-kuei, in com- 
mand of the imperial troops. When the Generalissimo 
heard that she had been taken possession of by one of 
the rebel officers, his one and only desire was to bring 
about his revenge. To effect this he threw in his 
lot with the Manchus, who for some years past had 
been struggling to make their power paramount. The 
forces of Li were defeated, the young Manchu prince 
was installed as Emperor, and so the present Ch'ing 
dynasty commenced. 



PEKING. 403 

" They owed their rise indirectly to a woman," said 
Benjamin, who considered that historical researches 
should point a moral always. " They owed their rise 
to a woman, and a woman seems to be bringing about 
their overthrow." 

But Tse Hsi, the daughter of Joy, knew better, and 
we told Benjamin so. Already, in a Shanghai silk shop, 
we had seen gorgeous curtains which she had ordered 
to be prepared for her on her return ; for she knew 
she would come back, bowing and smiling and con- 
descendingly gracious. She intended this to happen, 
and, as all the world and his wife know, this is 
precisely what came to pass. 



404 



CHAPTEE XXIX. 

PEKING. 

OUR paved courtyard, surrounded by little peaked- 
roofed houses, was one of our joys in Peking. We 
used to take breakfast in it every morning, a little 
interrupted by the servants, who could not be per- 
suaded not to empty people's baths there while we 
were in the middle of our meal. In the evening moon- 
light transmogrified it, and it looked most theatrical 
as officers, soldiers, and Chinese of any and every 
description came round the corners, showed clear in 
the moonlight, and vanished like the chorus passing 
through the wings on the stage. In the daytime, too, 
the different hotel visitors went by, and some were 
not without special interest. One was a lady who had 
been exploring far and wide, and had an unfortunate 
tendency to be taken ill at the goal of her wanderings, 
and to be obliged to stay on at places unprovided 
with accommodation for stray tourists, though really 
she gave no trouble, for, as she said, there was nothing 
she wanted, " Just a tooth-brush, if you could let me 
have that. Nothing else at all, really, thank you." 
But, sadly enough, it was just the request for a tooth- 
brush that brought despair to the soul of the embar- 
rassed young subaltern. 

She concluded her Chinese tour in a part under the 
command of an avowed woman-hater, and sympathisers 



PEKING. 405 

trembled over her probable fate. But they need not 
have worried, for she was last seen and heard of in 
China, on the sea-shore, with the woman-hating general, 
and, like the walrus and the carpenter, the lady and 
the general were walking hand-in-hand. 

We could never spare much time for the courtyard 
with all Peking before us, and palaces and temples, 
closed to foreigners for generations, all open to our 
good pleasure in the most accommodating way. 

"The Confucian classics are the basis of Chinese 
education," Benjamin was kind enough to tell us, so 
after the Forbidden City it was to the Confucian 
Temple that we next went. 

We found a high hall, fronted by a fine marble ter- 
race and sombre-leaved cypresses, said to date back 
hundreds of years, to the times of the Mongols, and so 
quite as venerable as their looks. We did not wonder 
at the habit of planting them by Confucian temples, 
for no other trees could seem so much in keeping with 
an old-world philosophy that has been the key-note of 
the instruction of millions of people since the sixth 
century before Christ. Inside the hall were tablets to 
Confucius and other sages, the more conspicuous being 
those of the authors of standard works. Besides this 
main hall were other buildings, with tablets to the 
learned and virtuous, a court for the triennial examin- 
ations for the highest literary degree, and the yellow- 
tiled Hall of the Classics, fronted by a yellow porcelain 
arch. The last building was put up by the Emperor 
Ch'ien-lung, and the others also are said to have been 
erected during this present Ch'ing dynasty, though the 
actual foundation of the Confucian Temple is believed 
to date back to the thirteenth century. 

Anemone was not so much interested in the edifices 
as in the tombstones, which were even more numerous 
than the cypress trees. 



406 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

"What a mania," she said, "the Chinese have for 
cemeteries. They cover their landscapes with burial- 
mounds, and surround their Temple of Fame with 
graves." 

But Benjamin assumed quite a Celestial attitude of 
reverence for the tablets, and explained their uses, 
which were not to indicate the last resting-places of 
the deceased. Two hundred stone monuments were 
engraved with the text of the nine classics to ensure 
them against any modern " burning of the books." 
Other stones were engraved with copies of the old seal 
characters, growing fainter and fainter on the original 
ten black, drum-shaped blocks. These last are supposed 
to date back to the Chow dynasty, and so to be more 
than 2500 years old. Their antiquity made them the 
principal objects of interest, and so, with the unfeeling 
contrariness with which " sights" so often behave to 
" sight-seers," they somehow escaped our attention, and 
all we could remember was a medley of tablets like tomb- 
stones, and nothing particularly reminiscent of drums. 

In front of the examination court Benjamin implored 
us to pay special attention to the stones which recorded 
each examination, and gave the names and addresses 
of all the doctors of literature for the last five hundred 
years. Such a list is, of course, stupendous, but so is 
everything connected with the education of the Chinese. 
Scholars take the first place in the country, but from 
the time they enter the village school and bellow their 
lessons with their backs turned to their master, the 
way to fame and distinction seems as much uphill as 
a precipice, unless they buy degrees, or obtain them by 
methods of cheating that are not unknown, in spite of 
the precautions taken to ensure fair-play. 

We saw some of the open cells from which the can- 
didates are not allowed to move during the whole 
period of examination. If any even die during the 



PEKING. 407 

interval, they must depart this life quietly in their 
places without disturbing the other candidates. As 
nonagenarians are sometimes included among the liter- 
ary aspirants, and contagious diseases are occasionally 
known to break out during examinations, the death- 
roll is said to be by no means always nil. Examin- 
ations in the district cities, in the prefectural cities, in 
the provincial capitals, follow one after the other in 
weary succession, each conferring a higher degree on 
successful candidates. Anemone wondered all were not 
centenarians by the time they attained to the Peking 
examination and tried for the highest degree. Those 
who gain it have their fortunes made, for the most 
part ; while the actual senior wrangler is renowned all 
over China, and all who own the same surname, let 
alone his actual family and his deceased ancestors, are 
ennobled by his success. 

" I don't wonder at it," said Anemone, who felt worn 
out by the mere account of such colossal studies. " He 
must know enough to work out any imaginable prob- 
lem. I wish we had one with us. There are endless 
questions I should like to ask." 

She was quite depressed when Benjamin explained 
that it would be useless to seek from him for any in- 
formation that had not been originally imparted by 
Confucius, Mencius, or somebody else who lived some 
hundreds or thousands of years ago. The scholar's 
brain is a storehouse for the wisdom of the ancients, 
and the sum-total of his gigantic efforts is the produc- 
tion of essays and poems displaying this old - world 
knowledge, strictly free from innovations, and observ- 
ing the same rules of composition that his forbears have 
always obeyed. Anemone and I no longer wondered 
that Fido, Shih Fang, and every other Chinese with 
whom we had come in contact, had been so pained and 
astonished by irregularities of any sort. 



408 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Yet even then new ideas were pouring into China, 
and gradually filtering through the less - obstructed 
brains. Kang Yu Wei and other reform writers had 
shown how Confucius really preached progress and not 
stagnation ; and instead of only studying the history 
of China, they had compiled treatises upon the histories 
of almost all the countries of the world. Every one 
knows how the Emperor, Kuang Hsu, favoured the 
reform movement, and was made to suffer for his 
temerity by the Empress-Dowager. But the latter, to 
outward appearance, seems to have profited by exper- 
ience, and possibly now considers that her nephew was 
not quite the fool she thought. The Viceroy, Chang 
Chih Tung, advocates that special attention should be 
paid to the history of Chinese government during the 
last hundred years. Such advice shows the change 
that has stolen over China, where it has up till now 
been considered ridiculous to study any but past 
dynasties. The success of the Japanese in the late war 
with Russia has, of course, been the clinching argument 
for forwarding up-to-date ideas. Instead of the Con- 
fucian classics, " foreign learning" is now being made 
the highway to official positions, and colleges are being 
opened for the education of girls. The fetish " custom " 
seems actually to be doomed, and the chief interest of 
the present century is the uprising of a regenerate China 
out of the ashes of a wonderful age-worn past. 

We were nearly honoured by burial in the Confucian 
Temple, for, like most of the Pekingese edifices, the 
buildings were surrounded by walls. Part of one fell 
down almost upon us as we rickshawed past to the 
great Lama Temple, but as it did not time its descent 
quite punctually we missed ending our careers at the 
Fane of Confucius, and were able to study the doctrine 
of re-incarnations at the great Lamaserai. 

Our visit was a little hurried, as we had an appoint- 



PEKING. 409 

ment for tea at the little Lama Temple. Tea-parties at 
temples sounded rather profane, but then, as Anemone 
said, tea-drinking has been converted into a ceremony 
in Japan, so it surely was an imperative function for us 
in the country where it was instituted first. Mean- 
while we walked past beaming Japanese sentries into 
the courtyard of the great Lama Temple, and inspected 
two bronze lions and a bronze incense urn, eight feet 
high, while the lamas inspected us. They were sup- 
posed to be dressed in yellow, but their robes seemed 
a good deal discoloured, which was not to be wondered 
at considering the hue of Peking dust. Most of them 
carried rosaries, and Anemone and I purchased a couple 
which led to monkish interest becoming alarmingly 
intensified. More than a thousand lamas, we were told, 
inhabited the monastery, and we were soon of opinion 
that the whole company would surround us to offer 
their rosaries for sale. 

" It would be so terrible," said Anemone, " if the 
great Lama Temple ran out of rosaries all on our 
account." 

So we thought it best to withdraw the temptation of 
" filthy lucre " by hurrying inside the temple, where as 
many followed as could. They practised the Mongol 
and Tibetan form of Buddhism, and were themselves 
mostly Mongols. They seemed very cheery and pleas- 
ant, and their substantial persons gave no outward evi- 
dence of their studies on the non-existence of matter, 
nor their attainment of " a heart fixed on nothing," 
though some of them looked as though they might 
have " a mind which dwells nowhere." We could not 
tell whether we only saw those who were occupied in 
studying astronomy, astrology, and medicine, or those 
who were struggling to desire nothing at all. 

" What a lifetime it must take any one to succeed, 
and what a pity when they do," said Anemone. " They 



410 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

have only stifled the vitality that might have been 
such a power in desiring what was right." 

Benjamin was of opinion that it is no wonder man- 
kind has been so slow to realise that true religion 
should be a sum in addition to life, instead of a sum in 
subtraction, for the subtraction so continually takes 
place, willy-nilly, no doubt to bring out the correct 
balance of character. 

Anemone confessed that the temple interior had the 
converse effect of quenching desire as far as she was 
concerned, for a pair of pale blue enamel and gilt 
bronze elephants before one of the altars made it 
difficult not to break the tenth commandment at once. 
We were glad that the guide-book so far justified our 
covetous feelings by pronouncing them chefs-d'oeuvre 
of Chinese art. There were all sorts of vases and 
candlesticks and altar utensils to look at, and pictures 
of Buddha, past, present, and future, and Kwan-yin, 
the Goddess of Mercy, and Amitabha, presiding over 
his western paradise. We were not surprised to find 
that Kwan-yin and Amitabha were introduced by the 
Buddhists of northern countries, such as Tibet and 
China, and were not acknowledged by the Buddhists 
of Ceylon and southern parts. Especially could one 
understand the western paradise appealing more to 
Chinese than Nirvana. One can well imagine the 
Indian founder of the religion sitting cross-legged for 
six years to attain the Enlightenment that was to help 
to free the suffering millions over whom his heart 
yearned ; but seldom, except among the Christian con- 
verts, does one hear of Chinese being substantially 
interested in other troubles than their own. Though 
a majority of the four hundred million inhabitants are 
said to be continually hungry, it appears to be from 
sheer force of necessity and not as a means to obtain 
Nirvana as an end. Desire is not so much quenched 



PEKING. 411 

by abstemiousness, as it is provoked into dreams not 
of peace in Eternity, but of New Years, weddings, 
funerals, and other occasions that involve good fare. 
Anemone even had doubts of Chinese aspiring to be 
born out of water-lilies the new birth into the Heaven 
of Amitabha to those who sufficiently often repeat his 
name, 0-me-to-fuh, and so gain admittance to the 
Happy Land of the West. That was as it may have 
been. As our knowledge of the language consisted of 
purely mercantile phrases we could not inquire into 
ethical problems, and so may have been quite wrong 
in dissociating Chinese aspirations from lotus buds. 

Before us in the temple towered Maitreya, the coming 
Buddha, who no doubt knew all about it, for as he has 
not yet gained Nirvana like Sakyamuni, he is consid- 
ered more amenable to mundane affairs. A Japanese 
soldier, in height five feet nothing, had followed us for 
the apparent purpose of being chaffed by Benjamin. 
The Japanese were the only people who had ever been 
known to incline Benjamin to frivolity. The miniature 
warrior took his stand below the wooden figure, seventy 
feet high. The inscrutable countenance above stared 
into the temple shadows. The inscrutable countenance 
below smiled an inscrutable smile. The scent of incense 
filled our nostrils ; the sound of a cracked voice intoning 
something it may have been 0-me-to-fuh woke echoes 
on the walls. A priest stepped up to us, mysterious as 
the imagery of the Orient, and then the spell was 
broken Benjamin reminded us that tea would be 
waiting, and the lama held out his rosary and uttered 
one of the few Chinese sentences with which we were 
acquainted, " To shao ch'ien ? " (" How much ? ") 

As we betook ourselves to our rickshaws, Anemone 
observed that she thought had Shakespeare been a 
modern traveller he would have stated that " one touch 
of mammon makes the whole world kin." 



412 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

By the time we reached the little Lama Temple it 
was too dark to see much of the interior, which seemed 
to be in rather a dilapidated state. Some of the poor 
gods and goddesses had not been treated at all respect- 
fully, and by their broken-nosed, woe-begone appearance 
bewailed the taking of Peking by the Allies. I rescued 
a forlorn, little, gilded Amita from a dust-heap and 
carried him away with me, clasping his lotus flower, to 
a land of the West, where he smiles benignly and seems 
contented with the only substitute I could think of for 
the western paradise. He is dusted daily at any rate, 
and his robes look far more resplendent than when he 
first left the dusky temple and watched us at our tea- 
party on the portico outside. 

Some Chinese jugglers had been engaged to amuse 
us, and they joined bits of burnt string, munched 
blazing tow with relish, and out of thin air produced 
bowls of fat Chinese goldfish with long flowing tails 
and enormous goggle eyes. It almost seemed as though 
they must be in league with Amita. A tiny boy was 
with them, and when the others had finished he sud- 
denly produced plates at all parts of his small person, 
and balanced them on the ends of sticks with such 
recklessness that Anemone said it was enough to bring 
on an attack of " high strikes " with any good housewife 
possessed of a proper respect for crockery ware. But 
he was not satisfied by racking her feelings over his 
first simple methods, but proceeded to turn somersaults 
and stand on his head, and at the same time keep the 
plates whizzing in the air. Some of the Punjab In- 
fantry were quartered in the grounds of the temple. A 
number of men came and looked on and expressed ad- 
miration, but seemed anxious to receive plaudits also, 
and gave a gymnastic display on their own account. 
The small Chinese boy watched them attentively, and 



PEKING. 413 

then copied all their performances, making each one 
more difficult and elaborate than anything the Punjabis 
had done. 

Benjamin was very thoughtful as we once more sum- 
moned our rickshaws. " How can any one," he in- 
quired, " in forecasting the future, leave the Chinese 
out of account ? " 

We would not commit ourselves to anything so rash 
as prophecy, but we did feel more or less convinced 
that if the Chinese are left out of anything it will only 
be by obstinately excluding themselves. 

But we were far too dust-begrimed to ponder upon 
the fate of nations. It took us most of the evening 
to induce the hard ineffective liquid which is known 
as water in Peking to make us a little less like chimney- 
sweeps. Anemone considered that civilisation involved 
a great waste of time to no purpose, for of course next 
morning we looked as grimy as ever before we were 
half-way to the Temple of Heaven, which Benjamin 
ordained that we ought to visit next, and which was 
only to be reached through the busy, crowded streets of 
the Chinese city. 

We found a fine park inside high walls, and passed 
along a wide avenue that led through it. As usual, 
before long we came to more walls, and near to the 
entrance of the inner enclosure stood the Palace of 
Abstinence, where the Emperor spends a night of fasting 
before performing the great religious ceremonies. 

Benjamin told us to picture the fine procession the 
elephant carriage (so long as an elephant was left alive 
to draw it), the Emperor in his imperial yellow sedan- 
chair, the bannermen, the musicians, the princes and 
mandarins on horseback, passing into the enclosure the 
evening before the morning of sacrifice. The Emperor 
is allowed no sleep during the night of preparation, but 



414 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

must spend the interval in quiet, holy thought. Nearly 
two hours before sunrise he puts on his sacrificial robes 
and sallies forth to be the officiating priest. 

Anemone thought he must be prepared for such a 
trying experience by the five o'clock audiences. Still, 
she doubted whether the Son of Heaven could suffi- 
ciently enjoy himself in the Palace of Abstinence to 
mind it being occupied for the time being by British 
troops. On a stretch of grass to our left the assault-at- 
arms had been held, and we found ourselves confronted 
by various sign-boards directing us to the transport depot 
and other prosaic places which we were doing our utmost 
to forget. Passing along the avenue we came to a 
marble ascent leading up to a long paved way, which 
brought us to a great circular erection, consisting of 
three terraces one above the other, each surrounded by 
a balustrade. This was the Altar of Heaven, formed of 
pure white marble, and on the central stone of the 
highest terrace the Emperor kneels when he worships 
Heaven. There, encircled by the terraces, the walls of 
the enclosure, and the horizon, he prostrates himself in 
the Centre of the Universe before the tablet of Shang-ti, 
the Supreme Ruler, to whom alone he is inferior. The 
tablets of the deceased emperors are also placed on the 
great altar, for their spirits are supposed to be present, 
as are also the spirits of the atmosphere : winds, rain, 
thunder, &c., to all of whom offerings are made, though 
the principal are intended only for Heaven, especially 
the bullock which is offered as a burnt sacrifice on a 
furnace near by. 

Benjamin was most anxious that we should picture 
the scene correctly, but as the crowd of courtiers was 
as much absent as the Emperor, and there were no 
musicians present to make the air discordant with the 
" Song of Universal Peace," the conditions did not tend 
to realism, though we did the best we could under the 



PEKING. 415 

circumstances, and placed ourselves on the Centre of 
the Universe, as Kuang Hsu at that time at Si-an-fu 
was relegated to a paltry corner. 

The tablets of the Supreme Euler and the deceased 
emperors are preserved in a circular, blue-roofed chapel 
at the end of a marble-paved way. Its tiles matched 
the sky that morning, sunshine gleamed through the 
cypresses, and the white altar was bathed in the bright- 
ness and warmth of a Chinese May-day. It seemed a 
suitable spot for the Son of Heaven to offer prayers 
for the welfare of his people, and to perpetuate the 
original belief of the Chinese in a Supreme Creator. 

The chief service at the Altar of Heaven is held at 
the winter solstice. The Emperor should also offer 
special prayers for a propitious year in the spring-time 
at the northern altar. To this we now made our way, 
following a marble-flagged path, and passing under an 
archway where before us, on a raised marble terrace, 
rose the triple - roofed, circular building known to 
foreigners as the Temple of Heaven. It had an un- 
cared-for, desolate look, and grass and weeds were 
sprouting between the marble steps of the terrace. 
But these details were lost in the general effect of 
gleaming whiteness, crowned by circles of deepest blue 
the rich colour of a tropical sky on a brilliant, sun- 
flooded forenoon, while a golden pear-shaped knob 
pointed to the heavens from the summit of their earthly 
representation. The groundwork of the walls inside 
was of the same deep blue, the other colours being 
green and mauve and yellow. The altar-pieces had 
been of the most beautiful pale blue cloisonne, but 
they were to be seen no more, for the temple was 
bare ; everything in it had been looted, and the altar 
set had been shown us months before in Shanghai by 
its English purchasers. Anemone reminded us of this, 
and we heaved a sigh for the departed glories of that 



416 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Fane of Prayers for the Year the azure - vaulted 
Temple of Heaven. 

We did not go to the Temple of Agriculture close 
by, for, as we could not witness the operation, we 
decided to take it on hearsay that the Emperor ploughs 
a plot of ground there in the spring to prove himself 
a pattern of industry to his subjects. 

" Poor man ! " said Anemone. " That as well as 
having to take his early tea before five o'clock every 
morning ? " 

We felt we had followed his example of hard work 
quite sufficiently for our own comfort, and were glad 
that the next day was Sunday, when laziness was 
admissible. 

In the evening we went to the service in the 
Legation chapel. The British Legation had been a 
"Fu" that is, a prince's residence till the British 
took it over in 1861. The descendants of an emperor 
are said to be entitled to hold possession of a Fu for 
three generations, after which it reverts to the reigning 
potentate, who in his turn bestows it upon a son or 
son-in-law. The posterity of a prince gradually dimin- 
ishes in rank at each succeeding generation. A line of 
princes cannot be indefinitely extended through the 
ages, which Benjamin thought a wise precaution, as 
no limitation seems to be placed on the number of 
imperial progeny. 

At the back of the Legation was the Carriage Park, 
held by the Boxers during the siege. The terror of 
those dark weeks when a little plot, under six acres, 
was surrounded by a menacing multitude came home 
to one in the chapel, where the congregation consisted 
almost entirely of officers of the relief force, and the 
chaplain was renowned to us for his recent heroism. 
Outside the little chapel the slanting rays of evening 
sunlight fell across ruins, and here and there on the 



PEKING. 41*7 

armed sentries of the nations from far away. Inside, 
with curious appropriateness, Hymn 477 was given out, 
and the Kingdom of the Intangible seemed strangely 
present as the host militant lifted their strong voices 
and sang 

" The sun that bids us rest is waking 

Our brethren 'neath the western sky, 
And hour by hour fresh lips are making 
Thy wondrous doings heard on higli. 

So be it, Lord ! Thy Throne shall never, 
Like Earth's proud empires, pass away ; 

Thy Kingdom stands and grows for ever, 
Till all Thy creatures own Thy sway." 



2 D 



418 



CHAPTER XXX. 

PEKING. 

VERY early one morning Shih Fang and Subramoni 
appeared in our courtyard. Subramoni was a Madras- 
see with a chocolate-coloured complexion and a meek 
expression of patient long-suffering in his melancholy 
eyes. He was Benjamin's special henchman, and in- 
trusted his fate to him with as much humility as 
any slave. " What master pleases," was his unfailing 
observation when consulted as to future plans. Dur- 
ing his sojourn in Peking tidings had been sent of the 
sudden death of his wife. Benjamin recorded that 
" What master pleases " was his only comment when 
this news was broken to him, though Benjamin was 
inclined to resent this term of resignation, as he was 
not in the habit of being pleased about anybody's 
demise. 

Subramoni and Shih Fang had become bosom friends. 
Shih Fang's lofty dignity contrasted with Subramoni's 
humble servility, and extremes met in their case. 
Though so friendly to one another, they affected to 
despise each other's compatriots. Shih Fang ruled all 
other natives of India as though he were the Son of 
Heaven, and Subramoni's usual timidity was converted 
into rigorous austerity in his dealings with other 
Chinese. In our courtyard they were able to hobnob 
without these distracting elements, and Anemone and 



PEKING. 419 

I were of private opinion that Shih Fang had a sneak- 
ing admiration for Subramoni's disregard of family 
ties. The kitchen premises of our Tientsin establish- 
ment teemed with four or five generations of the 
ancestry and posterity of Shih Fang, the cook and 
house boy. Hoary nonagenarians and infinitesimal 
babies were alternately engulfed and disgorged at the 
kitchen door. That Shih Fang was a good son, 
grandson, and great-grandson after the true Confucian 
pattern, it never entered into our minds to doubt. 
The rabbit-warren conditions of family life in China 
never struck him as inconvenient, we felt sure. Still, 
it seemed to us that it was with some satisfaction that 
he sunned himself and his brocades, and appreciated 
Subramoni's unobtrusive society in the seclusion of 
our courtyard. 

They were to have it very much to themselves on 
this particular occasion, for Anemone and I were to 
spend the day with Benjamin at the Summer Palace 
of their Imperial Majesties. Indeed, Subramoni's 
and Shih Fang's rather premature appearance was 
for the purpose of announcing that the tonga had 
arrived. 

Though a veil of dust hung over Peking and the 
atmosphere was unalluring, the cavalcade that awaited 
us was most inspiriting. First there was the tonga 
the round-topped Indian conveyance marked with the 
name of Dhanjibhoy, the patriotic Parsee who pre- 
sented a number of these vehicles for military service 
in the South African and Chinese campaigns. Beyond 
were a couple of mounted Sappers and two Bengal 
Lancers, looking most picturesque on spirited horses, 
with their lances gleaming above high turbans in the 
early sunlight that penetrated the enveloping dust. 
Benjamin carried his revolver, and declared the armed 
escort to be necessary. A short time before a German 



420 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

officer had ridden out to the Summer Palace un- 
attended and had been shot dead on the way. 

The tonga had been expressly provided to give us 
the benefit of springs ; but Anemone, who occupied 
the front seat, said she could understand why the 
Chinese dispensed with them in their Peking carts. 
She was not at all certain that they were not 
doubtful advantages among the pitfalls of Chinese 
roads. Indeed, as she spoke, a pronounced chasm in 
the causeway sent her bouncing into the driver's lap. 
However, the next moment some ruts displaced her, 
and as the driver continued to drive with meek im- 
perturbability, ignoring her remoteness or proximity, 
Anemone resigned herself philosophically to unexpected 
transits from her seat to his knees. Benjamin and 
I, at the back, had the greatest difficulty not to ex- 
change our places for the road. Double- humped camels, 
marching single file in stately procession, bestowed 
contemptuous side -glances on us, and Chinese at their 
open-air breakfasts left off eating to laugh at us as 
we jingled past. At the North Tartar gate we met 
a most picturesque equestrian, apparently waiting to 
become a snapshot. His pony was pure white, with 
a mane and tail so predominant that the rest of its 
proportions were scarcely noticeable. The man's face 
was almost hidden by a huge wide-brimmed Szechuan 
hat, which so much took Anemone's fancy that she 
would have produced her stock Chinese sentence, " To 
shao ch'ien?" ("How much?"), had not extra violent 
jolting made her instead apostrophise the probably 
non-existent Board of Local Works. 

As we passed through the suburbs out into the 
open country, to our joy we came upon an even- 
paved road. Benjamin made severe comments upon 
it, as he said the cost of it had taken money that 
should have gone to the indemnity after the Chino- 



PEKING. 421 

Japanese war. Instead of considering her country's 
liabilities, the Dowager - Empress had spent a large 
amount over that paved way to celebrate having 
reached her sixtieth year. Benjamin was even doubt- 
ful as to this assumed age. She must have been 
very young when she fled from the Allies in 1860 
with Hsien-fng and the Empress Tse An. He was 
not at all sure that she could have been sixty when 
she lavished money upon the celebration of that un- 
certain fact. 

" Surely she would not have made herself out older 
than she really was/' said Anemone, speaking from 
the western point of view. 

Benjamin had to remind her that Chinese women 
are supposed to be filled with a desire for old age 
and its dignities, since youth is not always a period 
of privilege in the East. 

"A good plan too," said Anemone; "the principle 
of hope eternal instead of premature regret. Hope 
on, hope ever, in fact." 

We felt hopeful at any rate, for the dust had cleared, 
and the sun shone out bright and warm on the fields 
and trees in the country. We clattered through a 
village, and the inhabitants ran out to watch us pass 
in our martial glory. The Empress Tse Hsi herself 
can never have been favoured with keener interest 
than that bestowed upon Anemone and me. 

At last we passed under a fine ornamental arch 
and rattled into the outer courtyard of the Summer 
Palace. We pulled up in front of a building at that 
time used as a " loot godown." Here the British had 
stored all the valuables they had found till they 
could be returned in safety to the Manchus. Un- 
fortunately, before the British and Italians were put 
in joint occupation of the Summer Palace, the Eussians 
had ransacked it. No less than forty clocks were said 



422 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRTSELDA. 

to have been thrown into the lake, and Anemone, 
remembering the queer collection we had seen in 
the Forbidden City, suggested that we might spend 
the day in a worse way than by fishing for time- 
pieces. 

We passed under some trees, and beyond them came 
upon blue waters sparkling in the sunshine. There 
were islands to our left, joined to the mainland by 
marble bridges. On the larger island, through the 
trees, rose the yellow roof-tops of a palace. To our 
right the lake was bordered by marble balustrades, 
and the Empress - Dowager's reception - rooms stood 
close beside the water. Above them was the wooded 
hill, and below them the blue lake with its edging 
of white marble ; while a little farther on rose 
stately buildings on the slope of Wan-Shao-Shan, the 
Hill of Ten Thousand Ages. The opposite shore was 
green with grass and trees, and the inlets of the lake 
were spanned by hump -backed marble bridges. In 
the distance was a blue background of hills the Hsi 
Shan, or Western Mountains. 

One could imagine how the Empress Tse Hsi must 
enjoy the time she spends in that country home on 
the shores of Kwun - ming - hu, the lake that washes 
the foot of the hill of venerable title. Yet, for the 
first moment or two, we were conscious of disappoint- 
ment. Somehow most of the works of man carry 
with them the sense of shortcoming. However beauti- 
ful or grand they may be, fancy can picture something 
more beautiful and still grander for the ideal exceeds 
the real in the man-made productions. The poet, the 
artist, the sculptor, whoever he may be, can only 
seize upon few of the ideas that flit through his 
mind in millions. And these, once confined in the 
cells of his brain, lose their pristine brilliance and 
their power of flight, like butterflies from whose frail 



PEKING. 423 

wings the down has been brushed by handling. When 
he produces them in the sight of the world he dis- 
covers, to his despair, that they are no longer the 
sparkling, winged imaginations he imprisoned. How 
different are the works of God, with no inter- 
mediary in their production. The petal of a flower, 
a microscopic shell, a grassy bank by the roadside, a 
star -lit sky overhead, are filled with the majesty of 
a beauty that exceeds mortal comprehension, and 
the greatest height of human culture culminates in 
a faint perception of stupendous loveliness. And 
so at first at Wan - Shao - Shan the beauty of the 
day seemed more impressive than the beauty of the 
palace buildings. But by degrees we became con- 
scious of a feast of graceful curves and angles, of 
golden - coloured tiles, and purity of snowy marble. 
Inside, too, in the rooms specially apportioned to 
Tse Hsi were gorgeous hangings and bright em- 
broideries. Pilferers seemed to have paused before 
entering here, and luck, as usual, was attendant on 
the Dowager-Empress. 

We went out again and walked by the side of the 
lake to the marble corridor that fronts the principal 
and most imposing parts of the palace. The blue lake 
rippled melodies against its marble border, while we 
studied the Chinese frescoes that formed a frieze beside 
the tops of the corridor arches, and noticed that every- 
thing was brought up to date by little glass globes 
which projected from the walls and announced that 
the covered way of the Son of Heaven was electrically 
lighted. It was here that Anemone said she first felt 
disposed to break the tenth commandment. She 
thought it must be an alleviation to any lot to be 
able to take daily exercise quite regardless of the 
weather, with white marble overhead, white marble 
under foot, and a garden on either side filled with 



424 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

bowers of purple wistaria and bushes of yellow banksia 
roses. 

A splendid archway spans the front of the main 
entrance. We paused under it and looked up at the 
buildings which towered above us. We had a vision 
of marble steps, gold-coloured tiles, of a great massive 
stone wall, and a fine pagoda crowning the summit. 
It was quite superfluous for Benjamin to warble that 
he " dreamt that he dwelt in marble halls," for the fact 
was self-evident as we walked up the marble steps and 
across the marble courts, and in and out of the different 
palaces which stood in a straight line, and were divided 
from each other by open spaces, like those in the For- 
bidden City. The porcelain roofs of the buildings were 
ornamented with fantastic figures and dragons and 
animals, and in the courtyards there were bronze urns, 
and bronze peacocks and storks holding themselves 
stiffly erect on marble pedestals. 

Most of the palace interiors were excellent samples 
of the devastation that can be accomplished by looting. 
The greater number were perfectly bare ; even the 
great plate-glass windows had been wantonly broken. 
This particularly aroused Anemone's ire, as she thought 
the Emperor of China should receive every encourage- 
ment in setting an example of ventilation to the many 
millions of his subjects who indulge so little in light 
and air in their own habitations. But then, as these 
would not be likely to be persons with any knowledge 
of the glass expanses of Wan-Shao-Shan, the set-back 
to their education was probably not extensive. 

We passed through void rooms where intricate carv- 
ings here and there contrasted with the general empti- 
ness. We climbed up the marble steps, or else walked 
along the corridors that also led upwards on both sides 
of the courtyards ; and we thought how well it was 
that only Manchu women should be allowed into the 



PEKING. 425 

imperial seraglio. Poor little mutilated Chinese feet 
would find it hard work to mount the steps of the 
great stone terrace, or the narrow stairs of the pagoda, 
up which we toiled to the top storey, where we found 
such a panorama as one feels one has a right to expect 
from the Hill of Ten Thousand Ages. Across the flat 
plain lay Peking, a little indistinct in an atmosphere 
of dust, under which the city seemed to hide as though 
half ashamed of itself, which Benjamin said was what 
it ought to be after its recent behaviour. On the 
other side the Western Hills stood out clear and blue, 
as though they had nothing to trouble their conscience. 
Without them the picture would have been incomplete, 
as ideal scenery cannot do without mountains. Satis- 
faction can only be found in that which points us 
higher, and we always crave a sight of the hills, even 
though we shun the ascent and remain for ever igno- 
miniously at the foot of them. Nearer, on the Jade 
Fountain Hill to the west, we could see temples, and 
to the east some ruins of what no doubt were once 
the palaces of "Yuen -Ming -Yuen," the Kound and 
Splendid Garden. Before us stretched Kwun-ming-hu, 
the blue lake, with its marble bridges and island 
palace. Below us was a maze of porcelain roofs, a few 
green-tiled, the remainder all imperial yellow. Just 
beneath the stone terrace a double - roofed bronze 
pavilion, with little bells swinging from all the eight 
corners, made Anemone pass scornful criticisms upon 
my reflections on the imperfections of human attain- 
ments. Certainly the dainty bronze structure might 
have been an importation from Fairyland, and found 
no imaginary counterpart. On the crest of the hill, 
above the pagoda, stood a temple with a triple entrance, 
and a roof very specially fantastic with carved birds 
and beasts and dragons. We clambered to it only to 
find its interior a scene of desolation. The temple 



426 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

appointments were rubbish-heaps, and the only incense 
that ascended was some smoke from a dying fire, 
kindled through an unsuccessful attempt to blow up 
the central idol in the hope of finding treasure. The 
poor image still reeled in his place, faithful to his 
supreme position and the memory of the old days when 
yellow-robed lamas chanted prayers on behalf of the 
Emperor, and the erections on Wan-Shao-Shan had 
been used as a Buddhist monastery. A number of the 
buildings were demolished at the same time as Yuen- 
Ming-Yuen, and when they came to be rebuilt one 
cannot wonder that the imperial family decided to 
appropriate them as palaces. 

We walked down a steep path, through a small 
theatre, and on to the margin of the lake. Benjamin 
had not prepared us for the next object of interest, so 
the marble barge came upon us as a surprise. As 
Anemone said, any one could think of marble palaces, 
but it needed some stretch of imagination to devise a 
marble boat. However, we doubted whether the sea- 
going capacities of the marble junk were ever tested. 
Like a nervous swimmer we found it lying very close 
to the shore. It was not a motor launch, as Anemone 
at first expected, and so her interest in it waned. But 
it was a stately two -decked erection, with a canopy 
supported on pillars and a beautiful square massive 
stern. It looked more like an Elizabethan barge than 
a Chinese junk. We went on board to rest, and Ben- 
jamin wondered whether the Emperor ever gave tea- 
parties there ; but as we were never likely to know 
Anemone wasted no thought on the subject, and instead 
set to work as usual to dispel all our illusions. Ben- 
jamin and I were perfectly contented with our marble 
seats under the marble canopy, but Anemone looked 
about suspiciously. 

" I have my doubts of this barge," she said, and 



PEKING. 427 

presently, sure enough, she presented us with a frag- 
ment of paper veined to represent marble. " I told 
you so," she said. "You see you might just as well 
be in the bath-room of a tawdry villa." 

It was only too true the whole interior of the junk, 
marble pillars and seats, were a paper-covered sham 
and a delusion. But the outside, the boat itself, could 
bear the closest scrutiny of even Anemone's eyes and 
fingers, for it was really and truly made of pure white 
marble. After making certain of this we passed through 
the palace again, back to the big theatre. 

Knowing how all Chinese delight in the play, we 
were not surprised to find two theatres in the summer 
residence of their ruler. Ming Huang, an emperor 
himself of the T'ang dynasty, is now worshipped as the 
patron saint of actors, so the Chinese stage has had 
Court sanction from the commencement. One can well 
believe that the seclusion of Court life makes the 
reproduction of other lives specially appreciated. Yet 
the craving to know life in its varying forms seems to 
be a new, occidental notion. " One half the world 
does not know how the other half lives " has been the 
axiom of past ages. Even now there remains the 
old - fashioned struggle to keep in sets, instead of 
enlarging all puny borders ; and people will still take 
infinite pains to make their existences narrow, use- 
less, and totally uninteresting, while all the time 
''the ends o' the earth" might be their portion, even 
though circumstances tie them down to one country 
or town. 

Our great trial at Wan- Shao- Shan was to see it 
deserted and miss all view of the imperial home life. 
We went into the loot godown and examined the palace 
ornaments the china, and cloisonne*, and bronzes but 
they did not help us much to realise Kuang Hsu. We 
lunched in the Dowager-Empress's reception-room, but 



428 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OP GRISELDA. 

instead of Tse Hsi as hostess we had a British officer as 
host. Still, a strong personality leaves an imprint on 
its surroundings, and screens and embroidered hang- 
ings seemed to talk to us of Tse Hsi. 

Most of the buildings of Wan-Shao-Shan are modern, 
so the old-time memories of the Forbidden City were 
not here to crowd in upon us, and our thoughts were 
able to concentrate upon the woman who has had such 
varied verdicts passed upon her, but is universally ad- 
mired for her brain-power and vitality. We wondered 
whether the head was given so much opportunity for 
free play because the heart never interfered, for we 
might all accomplish wonders if we always did what was 
politic, with no tiresome compassion and conscience to 
interrupt us, and knew no higher law than our own 
will. Yet what a mess most of us would make of our 
lives eventually, whereas Tse Hsi has always known 
how to bide her time, and so shows that she has kept 
the rein of self-government, that stupendous under- 
taking compared to which the management of others 
is paltry in the extreme. Yet there again the task is 
made easy when it is the head only that needs control 
and not a much less dignified portion of the anatomy, 
considered by the Chinese to be the organ of sensibility 
instead of either the liver or heart in which case a 
good digestion may be the whole secret of the Empress- 
Dowager's success. For all we could tell she may really 
be devoted to Li Lien Ying, the head eunuch ; or pos- 
sibly her early love was so truly bestowed upon Prince 
Su Suen, with whom she is said to have flirted during 
her husband Hsien-Fdng's lifetime, that her power of 
attachment may have come to an untimely end at that 
prince's execution ; or more likely still, that was only 
gossip, and she never cared for him at all. As most 
inner lives are sealed volumes there is not the remotest 
reason for supposing that any speculations will unveil 



PEKING. 429 

hidden truths of such a varied career as that of this 
formidable Manchu. 

As she was not present we comforted ourselves by 
the reflection that the Summer Palace might perhaps 
be pleasanter without her. She is possibly one of those 
people who insist upon their own personality paralys- 
ing everybody else's an alarming operation for those 
incapable of resisting, and a most boring one for those 
who acquiesce for the sake of peace and quiet. Still, it 
all depends upon the degree of charm, and the Empress 
Tse Hsi may be one of those for whom one would will- 
ingly annihilate oneself. Still, on the whole, we de- 
cided that it was just as well that she was not with us. 
We should not have been able to explore the island on 
the lake and its palace with such leisurely curiosity, and 
she might not have approved of our luxurious arrange- 
ment for quenching thirst by the way, in the shape of 
a Chinese who dogged our steps, staggering under the 
weight of a huge case of soda-water bottles, as we 
strolled along the broad walk by the lake and passed 
under a towered gate on our way to the marble bridge 
that led across to the island. On the broad walk we 
found the recumbent bronze ox, noted as one of the 
few really ancient treasures that Wan - Shao - Shan 
possesses, and which is as natural and true to life as 
it is venerable, in spite of an obviously modern tail 
that replaces the original appendage, broken off in 
1860 by the Allies, who certainly proved themselves 
no respecters of the artistic and beautiful. 

With the exploration of the island we felt that sight- 
seeing proper was concluded, and that we were really 
at liberty to enjoy ourselves. White sails dotted the 
lake, for a gentle breeze had arisen, and foreign officers 
and Chinese student interpreters had taken out boats 
to race. 

We followed their example, with the exception of the 



430 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

racing, and sailed on the lake, while across Wan-Shao- 
Shan the shadows lengthened, deep reflections darkened 
the water, and the Western Mountains grew dusky as 
the sun sank low in the sky. Even the new palace 
buildings, in the soft light of the evening, seemed to 
assume an old time-honoured aspect that fitted them 
for the summer residence of the oldest Empire of this 
earth. And we spoke of Kuang Hsu, and the good we 
had heard of him, and sympathised with Tse Hsi over 
the changes and chances of her memorable career. We 
landed at last by a marble hall beside the edge of the 
water, and once more walked along the marble corridor 
and passed the silent palace crowned by its gold- 
coloured tiles. No sound was to be heard except the 
lap of wavelets on the marble margin and the sweet 
notes of an Italian bugle-call. The little yellow roses 
flung golden petals about us, and the purple wistaria, 
as it swayed in the breeze, seemed to whisper of the 
joy and beauty of life. And we felt, whatever tragedies 
had taken place, whatever sad and heavy-laden hearts 
had passed that way, the flowers at any rate had been 
there as comforters, and would be in their places to 
welcome Tse Hsi and Kuang Hsu when the Court came 
back from exile. So we wished them many happy 
moons beside the Kwun-ming-hu, and as much enjoy- 
ment as we gained from our day at the Summer 
Palace. 



431 



CHAPTEE XXXI. 

FROM TIENTSIN TO CALCUTTA AND RAWAL PINDI. 

" VERY sorry, but impossible for any one not belong- 
ing to the Field Force." 

This was the statement of the Headquarters Staff 
when Anemone and I applied for free passages on 
the transport that was to take Benjamin and his men 
to India. 

We took our time over our reply, to give it more 
relish, and then put it interrogatively. 

"Don't you remember insisting that we belonged 
we both belonged to the Field Force ? " 

The Headquarters Staff had to confess humbly that 
their objection was annihilated, since their own words 
had entangled them. 

So it came to pass that early one morning, when most 
of the inhabitants of Tientsin were still asleep, a tonga 
rattled to the station, and inside sat Anemone and I. 

The train journey accomplished, we passed most of 
the day at the Indian Marine quarters, where a gardener 
was decorating the rather desert-like surroundings and 
fanning himself at the same time. Fans are taken into 
use and discarded at fixed dates in China, regardless of 
eccentricities of temperature. As a matter of fact, the 
seasons there are said to conform to proper Chinese 
order and regularity, and the heat generally commences 
and finishes obediently on the days prescribed for the 



432 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

use and disuse of fans. Of course, if the weather can 
be trained into such subservience one does not wonder 
that the Chinese consider that there is nothing left for 
them to learn. In any case, that year the atmosphere 
was certainly of the type to provide fans with occupa- 
tion, and we were not the least surprised to see the 
beaming old gardener fanning the flower-beds, for 
blossoms seemed as likely to be called into existence 
in that as in any other way. 

It was hotter still on the shore of the Pei-ho under 
a tent by the new pier, and we welcomed the steam- 
launch which carried us out across the bar to the 
troop-ship. 

The evening was spent slinging horses on board, and 
then the vessel steamed away with her swarm of two- 
legged and four-legged passengers. The lower decks 
were filled with horses and camp-followers, the upper 
decks with Indian officers and soldiers. The English 
soldiers had a small space allotted to them amidships, 
and Anemone and I experienced the vagaries of the 
ocean with the British officers on the poop, which 
rather resembled a menagerie, as nearly everybody had 
come on board provided with pets. They included 
Chinese canaries with strident voices, and a Chinese 
nightingale that fell overboard, or perhaps might have 
contributed specimens of Celestial singing ; also Chinese 
dogs of all varieties, from little broken-nosed, goggle- 
eyed palace spaniels to the hairless rat-like creatures 
that are the real chow or edible dogs of China, when 
the Chinese indulge in canine joints, which is said to 
be very seldom, instead of constantly as some globe- 
trotters suppose. 

In spite of crowded quarters everything was kept 
very ship-shape, and order and punctuality were sternly 
insisted on. We lived in conformity to bugle - calls. 
" Ketreat " in particular used to send Anemone and me 



FROM TIENTSIN TO CALCUTTA AND RAWAL PINDI. 433 

below in a panic to dress for dinner for fear of being 
late, as the captain expected every one to remain stand- 
ing till she and I took our seats, and the expressions of 
the hungry men who had been kept waiting on their 
feet for twenty minutes before the first evening meal 
we partook of can be better imagined than described. 
By degrees we submitted to strict punctuality as our 
daily obligation. The camp-followers, crouching day 
and night on the lower decks in meek attitudes, 
preached resignation to any lot. Besides, everybody 
on board had duties. The sowars fulfilled theirs most 
earnestly, and undertook some rather unnecessary ones, 
judging by the injunction which Benjamin overheard 
impressed upon a sentry by one of his Indian superiors. 
' When you pass another ship, challenge it twice in 
Hindustani and once in English, and do not allow it 
to approach too close." And the sentry saluted, and 
no doubt felt all passing vessels to be his special and 
onerous charge, as we steered our way to Wei-hai-Wei, 
Hong Kong, and Singapore our ports of call being 
nowhere outside the Motherland, that Greater Britain 
which makes a home for her errant sons and daughters 
in all corners of the globe. 

There was plenty of scope on board to satisfy any 
cravings after knowledge, and Anemone and I studied 
the semaphore, Morse alphabet, and sailors' knots to 
our hearts' content, and thereby, in Benjamin's opinion, 
gave a number of people a great deal of unnecessary 
trouble over instructing us. But our more serious study 
was in Hindustani ; and a jemidar, one of the Indian 
officers, was deputed to give us lessons, and did not 
decline and assert himself to be a warrior and not a 
"munshi," as we rather feared he might. He was a 
tall specimen of humanity, with a fierce-looking black 
beard with turned -up ends that vanished under his 
turban, and lent force to his criticisms when he pro- 

2 E 



434 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

nounced our first attempts at construction in Hindu- 
stani to be " contrary to all rules of civilisation." 

At night I was provided with a corner of the deck, 
specially set apart for my slumbers, where I could 
watch the moon rise with the appearance of a round, 
red, swollen face. A short way off a Pathan sentry 
paced up and down in the moonlight ; and on the other 
side of a canvas partition the snores of sleeping Britons 
grunted an uneven obbligato to the sing-song voice of 
the waves. When a gale rose and the tropic sea grew 
obstreperous, the two little cannon that helped to mani- 
fest the troop-ship as one of his Majesty's Indian Marine 
vessels, bounced from their places and charged me till 
the Lascars ran up and restrained their zeal. When 
thunder-claps and the fog-horn did their best to outvie 
each other, and flashes of lightning and glare of lanterns 
showed one's bed high and dry, like an island in the 
midst of rushing rivers of water, the nights at any 
rate could not be said to be wanting in excitement, 
even if the days grew rather monotonous. But it was 
pleasanter on calm evenings to curl oneself up by the 
taffrail after dinner and watch Eigel blinking in the 
deep purple heaven, and condole with the Southern 
Cross for not comparing better with the Great Bear. 
The corner by the taffrail was the only quiet spot 
away from one's tangible fellows where one could be 
alone with the more subtle influences that so speci- 
ally pervade wide expanses of sea and sky. Even 
there one was often interrupted. One evening it was 
by the chief engineer, who might have posed as the 
model for Kipling's M' Andrew. " Aye, aye," he said, 
gazing at the stars, " it's a wonderful planet we in- 
habit. There's never another in yon firmament with 
a history equal to ours." Though a bombastic, errone- 
ous statement, the majesty of man's inheritance seemed 
certainly awe-inspiring, surrounded by waters silvered 



FROM TIENTSIN TO CALCUTTA AND RAWAL PINDI. 435 

by phosphorus and a brilliant star-studded sky ; but 
that made it the more humiliating to test one's limita- 
tions in a stifling cabin where a course of fanning was 
needed to allow one to cope with one's clothes. 

At Singapore an enormous amount of correspondence 
letters and telegrams marked " urgent " awaited us 
from Joseph, and contained exhortations to Anemone 
and me to visit him in the Native States. " If you do 
not," he wrote, "I'll take long leave and follow the 
American to England. You remember the American, 
don't you, the tall girl with the small head in Japan ? 
By the way, she isn't American. Never left England 
till this time when an aunt took her this trip round the 
world. She stopped in Kuala Lumpor two days. I 
met her at dinner at Carcosa, and got the E.G. to run 
a special to take the aunt to Kuala Kubu while I showed 
her (the niece) round the Lake Club Gardens, &c. If 
you come well and good. If you don't I'm off on 
my long leave. They're travelling slowly, stopping at 
places. I'll go direct and catch them up at the end. 
So now you know and can decide. Wire reply. Chin 
chin." 

This missive filled Anemone with apprehension. Of all 
things she disliked direct responsibility, for of course, 
as she said, it was much more convenient to be always 
in a position to blame everybody except oneself. To 
be made the cause or the prevention of knight-errantry 
on the part of Joseph was more than she could take 
upon herself. However, a husband came in as a 
valuable acquisition. The statement, " My husband 
approves," or " disapproves," as the case may be, 
clinches all argument, and in itself alone makes the 
married state desirable. " Benjamin disapproves of 
my remaining," wired Anemone. Benjamin had never 
uttered a syllable on the subject, but that was a detail 
of course. As I could not make the same convenient 



436 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

reply, my decisions were as numerous as the stones 
on which we regaled the cassowary in the Botanical 
Gardens. Circumstances finally settled the question, 
for the troop-ship was due to start again before the hold 
baggage could be recovered, and my boxes only emerged 
in time for me to sit on them as we steamed slowly 
past the islands, and sheet -lightning flashed farewell 
messages above the long, low, purple outline of coast. 

Accordingly, our first greeting in Calcutta was a 
telegram from Joseph, "Baiklah off in wake pseudo 
american." This announcement was so much our first 
definite impression at the capital of India that it left 
me with very hazy recollections of the Hughli and its 
flat jungle-covered banks, occasionally interspersed by 
huts and palm-trees, and even such homely objects 
as hayricks, and I entirely forgot the sporting stories 
of tiger-shooting, sixty-three of these animals having 
fallen to the gun of a lighthouse - keeper, three of 
them shot, it was said, from the towers of the 
lighthouse. 

It may have been only a superficial outsider's view, 
but somehow Calcutta did not impress us particularly as 
a " City of Palaces." Palaces there certainly are and 
numbers of finely built houses, and Park Lane is not 
omitted from the names of its streets. But memories 
of a mere two weeks' acquaintance speak to one more of 
a grass-covered, tree-dotted park, or, as it is called in 
India, the "maidan," a race-course stretching beyond, 
the Eden gardens, where the band plays in the 
evenings, and the drive on the Strand by the Hughli, 
which Anemone considered the genuine " India's coral 
strand" the description seemed so appropriate of a 
lurid, reddened sky against which the monsoon mists 
daubed a hazy background to the ship-masts up stream. 
Up and down the Strand the carriages dawdled with 
their occupants of every tint and blend. What weird 



FROM TIENTSIN TO CALCUTTA AND RAWAL PINDI. 437 

ingredients must have been compounded to make up 
the mixtures of race that are now included as British 
citizens. And the more glaringly sallow the com- 
plexions, so much the more vividly blue the attire 
was as a rule. 

The monsoon had only just burst. The thermometer 
had been 108 in the shade. Consequently there were 
only a few white, washed-out faces to be seen, and 
those unfortunates who found it impossible to get away 
struggled nobly to make the best of the heat. Their 
occupations ignored the climatic conditions, and we had 
no sooner landed than we were invited to a dance at the 
Saturday Club. We found it tempered to suit our 
environment. Every other item only was a dance ; in 
between we sat out to selections of music in a lantern- 
lit garden, where diminutive boys were stationed to 
cool each heated couple with enormous fans. 

As well as these fortnightly dances, fortnightly races 
were held some miles out, at the course at Tollygunge, a 
week-end paradise with a club-house and golf links and 
the scenery of an English park, improved upon by a 
background of feathery bamboos. 

Sometimes we left the parts that had pretensions to 
making Calcutta a City of Palaces, and explored the 
native bazaars with their throngs of brown humanity, 
so unlike the independent, inquisitive Chinese who have 
no caste system to keep them rigidly to that state of 
life to which it has pleased God to call them, and show 
their patient endurance of it by a humble expression of 
face. But our time for sight -seeing was limited, as 
Benjamin received orders that sent him across India in 
the hot weather to serve his country in the Punjab. 

It was a melancholy journey. It began at a dispirit- 
ing hour some time in the middle of the night. The 
depressed company which witnessed our departure did 
not tend to enliven us much. We could not avoid 



438 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

leaving many blighted hopes behind us, for, shortly 
before our leave-takings, a vast assemblage appeared 
bearers, dirwans, bhisties, sweepers none of whom had 
we ever set eyes on before, and whose sole service con- 
sisted in the receipt of tips. These Subramoni was 
told to administer ; but as the multitude had the mirac- 
ulous property of multiplication and the doles were 
devoid of it, it was, on the whole, a wistful-eyed group 
that sped us on our way with melancholy salaams. 

An Indian four-berthed railway compartment gives 
spacious accommodation. One can make one's bed and 
put on night array, and convert the train into a private 
house, if nobody else gets in. At the first stoppage, 
however, I was joined by a lady who brought most of 
her household furniture with her. Any change of seat 
in the carriage now entailed climbing over tables and 
chairs. 

" It's only like travelling in a furniture van," she 
assured me, as she took off her hat and her toupee at 
the same time. 

Fortunately showers of rain had cooled the air, so 
that the trials of a train journey across India in the hot 
weather did not seem so bad after all. The country 
was flat, but it was green and cultivated, and might have 
passed for some rather uninteresting tract of Europe. 
The temperature was bearable, and all would have gone 
well had not the Viceroy been so ill-advised as to come 
down from the hills and take a railway journey in the 
plains. At least this was the explanation of our sud- 
denly being shunted into a siding, where we spent four 
hours gasping while the sun blazed on the roofs of the 
carriages, and the provision of water was useless to 
refresh us, as it not only turned hot but positively 
boiled. Of course all the train connections were thrown 
out of gear, and we found ourselves obliged to change 
at Cawnpur and spend several hours there in the middle 



FROM TIENTSIN TO CALCUTTA AND RAWAL PINDI. 439 

of the night. We dragged the tables, the chairs, a 
child's crib, and a few more such trifles out of the 
carriage, and found Benjamin apostrophising a hybrid 
official on the platform. It had transpired that the 
Viceroy was travelling in quite a remote portion of the 
Indian Empire, and consequently Benjamin, not un- 
naturally, could not see that our four hours of misery 
in a siding had facilitated his movements in any way. 
The hybrid official thought Benjamin's grievance very 
unwarranted. The Viceroy's special was passing some- 
where through India, consequently it was unheard of 
that other trains should proceed undisturbed on their 
way. Benjamin inquired whether he supposed that 
when the King and Queen went to Sandringham all 
traffic in England was suspended during that time. The 
official palpably supposed that it was, so that Benjamin's 
dramatic query was rather wasted in effect. He had 
to content himself by giving orders that an engaged 
carriage was to be wired for, and hurried off to take 
beds for us at the nearest hotel. 

I wanted to visit the memorial at the well where the 
dead and dying of the Cawnpur massacre had been 
heaped indiscriminately, but Benjamin said it was im- 
practicable at that hour; and certainly, what with 
dreams and heat and mosquitoes, our interrupted 
essay in slumber made us form a sufficiently realistic 
notion of the bygone sufferings of those brave un- 
fortunates. 

At dawn we reassembled on the station platform in 
a dilapidated state, and were kept waiting a long time 
by the express, for the Viceroy's movements had still 
disorganised the whole railway. When the train at 
last arrived no carriage had been engaged ; and when 
Benjamin demanded the reason why, the hybrid official 
said, " Because it would have been against the rules ; 
seats can only be booked twenty-four hours in advance." 



440 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

When Benjamin asked where the rules were to be found, 
so that they might be assimilated by an ignorant public, 
the hybrid official only gazed at him sorrowfully and 
murmured in his best English, "twenty-four hours in 
advance." Benjamin passed criticisms upon the re- 
sults of want of competition and general slackness, and 
hunted through the train till he found a compartment 
with one solitary masculine occupant blissfully sleep- 
ing, and unsuitably attired to receive ladies unawares. 
He had to be roused and forced into his clothes before 
Anemone, our travelling companion, and I, could enter 
with the furniture and just avoid missing the train. 
Benjamin saw to the luggage, and found himself a place 
elsewhere. 

It grew hotter and hotter after we passed Amballa, 
and travelled through the thirsty desert of the bone-dry 
Punjab. Still we were glad to have reached the country 
of the Five Kivers, and looked out of the windows at its 
mud villages and occasional forts. As vegetation was 
so scant even buffaloes became all-important as objects 
of scenery. Vultures hovered in the air, as though they 
knew that most of India's invaders had passed over the 
plains of the Punjab, and that history might repeat 
itself and give the same opportunities for feasting on 
the slain. Green parrots and showy peacocks flashed 
splashes of colour across the khaki monotony of dust 
blistering under the sun, till the great orb dropped 
below the horizon in a red heat of fiery rage. 

As our journey consisted mostly of midnight in- 
cidents, we wound it up consistently by arriving at 
Eawal Pindi in the middle of the night. We clambered 
out over the furniture, to be met by Benjamin with the 
intelligence that, though Subramoni had mounted guard 
over the luggage, and he himself had given minute 
directions concerning it, everything that should have 
come in the van had instead been left behind. We 



FROM TIENTSIN TO CALCUTTA AND RAWAL PINDI. 441 

were bereft of our own belongings, and surrounded by 
our travelling companion's tables and chairs. 

Outside the station a row of carts vainly awaited 
the lost property. Benjamin delivered them all up to 
the furniture in an access of disgust. We had ceased 
blaming the railway methods of India, and as we 
drove away under the trees of the cantonment we 
began to accuse each other as a last resource. Over- 
head the stars blazed in a sky that they flooded with 
brilliance. From the earth hot fumes rose as though 
from a furnace. When we came to the house every- 
thing in it felt burning, and even when bundles on the 
verandah had been shaken into life and commenced 
operations with punkahs, it was poor refreshment to 
feel blasts of hot air sweep over one's face. The beds 
were covered with mats to be cooler, but even then 
they felt as if a warming-pan had passed over them. 
I pinned a wet towel to the flap of my punkah, and 
sat under it panting, with drops of warm water trickling 
on to my head. Just then Benjamin appeared for a 
moment with a strip of flannel which he had produced 
from his dressing-case. 

" Wrap this round you," he said, " or the punkah 
may give you a chill." 

I thought eternal gratitude would be the portion of 
anything that could have that effect ; while, as for the 
flannel, it was surely adding insult to injury to even 
suggest it as an habiliment. 

The night was not noiseless. Lady mosquitoes were 
far too loquacious to allow it to be that. Every now 
and then, too, some chokidar (watchman) burst into a 
dismal ditty by way of frightening bad spirits, and it 
certainly sounded as if he ought to succeed. When 
one at last fell asleep, the punkah wallah also slum- 
bered, and one awoke in a red heat and ruthlessly 
jerked the cord attached to his big toe. Once more 



442 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

the punkah creaked and groaned, and one wondered 
why electrical appliances and modern improvements 
should not be more in general use. 

" Because," squeaked the punkah, " you can't get 
away from climate. The plains of India breed lethargy. 
In spite of all the national changes, as it was in the 
beginning, is now, and, judging by appearances, ever- 
more shall be in Hindustan." 

I defied the punkah's croaking and fell asleep, and 
dreamed of a future when liquefied air will be stored in 
houses in hot countries, and turned on to cool rooms 
as conveniently as hot air is made to warm them in 
chilly zones. Perhaps when that time comes cold halls 
would let one listen unmoved to the brain-fever bird. 
As it was, sleep vanished with the dawn, for, though 
the chokidar left off singing, the demon of the hot 
weather got up and shrieked, " brain fever, brain fever" 
in wild crescendos till Subramoni appeared with the 
early tea. So Far Cathay became a memory, and " the 
long, long Indian day " took up its reign. 



443 



CHAPTER XXXII. 

RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN. 

IT was indeed a long, long day. The sun got up early 
and went to bed late, and during the hours that it 
rode high in the heavens we had for the most part 
to stay boxed up in a house with tatties drawn down 
all round, so that Anemone said she felt like a bird in 
a darkened cage, only the experience did not inspire 
her with the faintest desire to sing. The box wallahs 
were our only visitors during those monotonous periods. 
They used to come and squat inside the tatties and 
proclaim their wares " t-a-i-p-e, c-a-a-ckles p-i-i-1-l-s," 
&c. in Hindu Cockney, except the Kashmir wallah, 
who had more of an Italian accent, but who was 
not encouraged by Anemone, on account of her own 
great dislike to outbursts of emotion and the Kashmir 
wallah's habit of relapsing into tears when his out- 
rageous prices were ridiculed. 

" Ladee Sahib have luckee face," he used to snivel. 
"Ladee Sahib bring poor man luck," at which point 
Anemone always sternly commanded Subramoni to 
eject him. I thought her hard upon him, as we were 
told that tearfulness was characteristic of his race, and 
that the chief object of missionaries to the Kashmiris 
was to try and infuse them with strength and manli- 
ness. Anemone had to allow that it was interest- 
ing that such a ladylike people should be found at 



444 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

so little distance from fierce races like the Sikhs and 
Pathans. 

Pindi society was limited during the hot weather. 
Almost everybody was away in the hills. However, a 
few devoted wives like Anemone remained with hus- 
bands whose duties kept them in the plains. These 
ladies used to forgather every evening and sit limply 
under punkahs in the Club garden. It was almost all 
they had energy left for; but we, having brought a 
reserve fund from bracing regions, used to scorn this 
mild occupation and scour the country directly the 
sun was low enough in the sky. The dry plain had 
its own strange fascination. On one side the snow- 
topped Himalayas rose up a sudden barrier, in contrast 
to the illimitable distance that, on the other side, faded 
away in a haze of dust. The cantonment was well 
planted, but bareness was characteristic of most parts 
of the country, and the trees in the park outside Pindi 
soon degenerated into mere bushes and scrub. Still, 
though it was a rather burnt-up specimen of sylvan 
scenery, there were pretty drives and rides through 
it, and occasional fairy-like ponds covered with water- 
lilies a paradise for birds, which skimmed the water 
chasing dragon-flies. From the top of a little hill was 
a view over the native bazaar and the cantonment, 
while in the distance we could see the wide bed of the 
river Jhelum. The country looked just suited to wars 
and rumours of wars, and the despotic rule of Eanjit 
Singh, the one-eyed, pit-marked old Lion of Lahore. 
There could be no turning of swords into ploughshares 
yet under British sway. A host militant had to people 
the district, and we went by long lines of hideous 
barracks, and were let into the secrets of redoubts that 
bristled in the neighbourhood in expectation of those 
troops whose first snub in Asiatic aggression was instead 
to be given them by the little Japanese. 



RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN. 445 

At Fort Misrial Misery All, the Tommies pronounced 
it, with a great deal of emphasis Anemone and I 
took part in the first Indian military balloon ascent. 
The balloons' feelings had been hurt, or at any rate 
Benjamin's feelings had suffered in regard to them. 
After having been sent to China by such a roundabout 
route that they arrived too late to be of any service, 
they had been brought across the seas to India only 
for one of them to be blown away in a gale, and then 
the only comment of the authorities had been a wish 
that some more gales would blow away all the others 
a desire by no means encouraging to aerial locomotive 
enterprise. But Anemone begged Benjamin not to be 
disheartened, as she was anxious that he should invent 
an electrical aerial brougham, she thought it would 
so simplify paying calls. It was really by way of 
soothing his ruffled feelings that she suggested our 
balloon ascent, and we came to the conclusion that 
no better panacea could be offered for the reduction of 
swelled heads. As the objects on the earth receded, 
what a pin's point we seemed to inhabit, and the 
bird's-eye view of our little globe brought the relative 
vastness of the universe more within our mental grasp. 
The first free run caused intense excitement among 
the natives, who raced below the mysterious object, 
which was also escorted by great flights of birds 
intensely bewildered by the giant aeronaut. And then 
the balloon went back to bed at Misrial, and we hurried 
home, pursued by an army of locusts, which were blown 
into Pindi like Pharaoh's plague, and blown out of it 
again almost as quickly, only leaving a few stragglers 
behind to chirrup for their vanished companions. After 
the locusts came great clouds of dust pouring into all 
the houses, and less easily ejected. But we bore the 
dust-storm like Spartans, for we knew it would cool 
the atmosphere. Eain followed, with thunder and 



446 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

lightning, and then the temperature fell, and for a few 
hours the zest of life was granted us as the climatic 
eccentricities preached the Jesuitic maxim of good 
proceeding from evil. 

Every now and then there was a plague of winged 
ants. They were worse than the locusts, for they had a 
miserable habit of shedding their wings and of dropping 
bodily into all the food at dinner-time, the hour when 
they usually put in their appearance, just as we were 
trying to forget the burden and heat of the day under 
punkahs in the garden. Every one dined out of doors 
and tried to imagine themselves cool, though the atmo- 
sphere was generally rather like that of a badly venti- 
lated hall. Though the al fresco dinners had their 
drawbacks they were sociable in their results, as the 
different parties used to forgather in the road to par- 
ticipate in the local excitements. Anemone said these 
belonged to the Impressionist School. They were like 
Whistler's pictures, and required some explanation. 
For instance, she defied any one to have guessed what 
was occurring from the procession that passed one 
night when we were in the middle of dinner. We 
heard strange sounds, and, wondering if this could be 
novel music of some sort, we marched off to the 
road to find out. First some Indian soldiers slowly 
straggled past, beating on empty tin pails which pro- 
duced the fantastic noises. They were followed by 
an English officer, very spruce in his white mess-jacket 
but most uncertain of his wobbley bicycle. His 
meanders increased as his domestic partner of large 
proportions pursued him down the road ; and when 
she cried, "Johnnie, Johnnie, come back and kiss me 
good-night ! " Johnnie promptly fell off into the ditch 
out of sheer agitation. He arose and remounted in 
wrathy silence, and vanished in the wake of the 
empty tin pails just as three bhisties (water-carriers) 



RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN. 447 

brought up the rear of the procession with three 
goat -skins. As Anemone said, could any one have 
imagined from such a sight that a fire was raging, 
or rather had been, for it had burnt itself out before 
the empty pails arrived, let alone the bhisties with 
the water-skins. Fortunately, a hay-stack was all that 
had met with destruction ; but Anemone was certain 
that, had the whole cantonment been in flames, the 
fire extinguishers would still have declined to be 
hustled. The procession returned in a most self- 
satisfied way, with increased roulades on the tin 
pails, just as the last post sounded its long-drawn 
notes, like the dirge of vanished opportunities that 
had crumbled back into the sands of time as irre- 
trievably as the hay into the dust of Pindi. But 
the tin pails rattled a noisy serenade regardless of 
one or the other. 

The cantonment seemed a very hybrid corner of 
India. We grew bored by its attractions of croquet 
and billiards. They were to be had on all parts of 
the globe where the Britisher had penetrated and laid 
the foundations of civilisation in his golf links, his 
race-course, his tennis-court. We tired of the white- 
walled houses with the green tatties, and preferred to 
drive among the flat-roofed homes of the natives, and 
discuss the effects upon the figure of roof-tops as the 
only area of exercise. However, the shapes of the 
upper - class ladies seemed a matter of supreme in- 
difference, as they took no walks abroad unless covered 
over from head to foot with white cloths, with muslin 
fastened even over the eye - holes. Besides these 
occasional " purdah" women we passed a few of a very 
low caste, who walked submissively behind their hus- 
bands, and were most zealous in veiling their faces 
when their charms were fading. Anemone thought it 
must be very difficult for them to practise so much 



448 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

modesty and yet make themselves useful at one and 
the same time. It seemed rather an anomaly to see 
three women screening themselves from passers-by 
while they publicly bathed their joint husband. 

Most of the natives were of a very different type 
from those we had seen in Calcutta. Many in the Pindi 
bazaar were fair-skinned, and most were handsome, with 
aquiline features. It was rather a haughty crowd on 
the whole, and seemed to be principally occupied in 
getting in the way of our carriage, and suffered from 
deafness, like all Indian foot - passengers, who have 
certainly required motors as forcible arguments for 
preventing obstruction of the highroads. 

To find one's way was another rather difficult essay, 
even when room was allowed one to set about it. We 
inquired the direction of Hurdit Singh's house from 
a pedestrian who was walking towards us. His only 
reply was to stare at us blankly. Benjamin, who 
cannot be persuaded from trying to hustle the East, 
at once grew irritated. 

" Where are you going to yourself? " he asked. 

"Na janta" (don't know), was all the native could 
tell us. 

" Well, where have you come from ? " said Benjamin. 

" Na janta," again said the native. 

Benjamin's anger subsided into curiosity. " If you 
have no idea where you have come from, nor where 
you are going to, how do you manage ? " he inquired. 

The native hazarded the remark that he thought 
his mother might know ; but as there was no vestige 
of that lady to be seen anywhere, we did not under- 
stand how her knowledge could be of much practical 
assistance. 

" Well ! of all the consummate idiots " began 

Benjamin; but Anemone interrupted. 

" After all," she said, " we're all in the same 



RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN. 449 

position. We don't know where weVe come from, 
nor where we're going to, and our mothers can't en- 
lighten us much, so really we're worse off than that 
old person." 

The native continued his vague promenade, and as 
to whether he intended it to be allegorical of life we 
could come to no conclusion; and our thoughts were 
diverted by one of India's holy men who appeared 
just then in attire which consisted simply and solely 
of a coating of mud and ashes. We could not find 
out whether he were a "fakir," a Mohammedan holy 
man, or a Hindu " sadhu " ; but it seemed obvious 
that he could not belong to the sect of the Sanyasis, 
the followers of Sankara, for we happened to have 
heard that one of their chief prohibitions was against 
any sort of mental agitation, and this particular ascetic 
worked himself into a frenzy of excitement when 
Anemone and I stared at him. But then as another 
prohibition was against speaking to or even thinking 
of a woman, the two must have been rather hard to 
combine when ignoramuses like Anemone and me 
made ourselves a nuisance. So perhaps he was a 
Sanyasi after all the sect which an American lady 
was said to have joined. We wished we could come 
across her in her yellow robe begging her way through 
India ; but, as far as we could make out, she had not 
been able to succeed as a mendicant. 

At last we found Hurdit Singh's house, though we 
did not venture to ask the holy man the way to it. 
Hurdit himself was not to be seen. He and his wives 
lived less pretentiously elsewhere, and his show abode 
had generally to do the honours without him. It was 
built and furnished in European style, and Anemone 
pined to write notes at beautiful unused tables, and 
wondered if the carved wood and inlaid screens were 
ever needed, and if fires ever blazed below the gilded 

2 F 



450 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

mantelpiece. The gold -embroidered bed-spreads cer- 
tainly did not look as if they ever expected any one 
to sleep under them, thoilgh the dinner -table was 
permanently laid, as if ready to feast a big party 
at that very moment when Hurdit Singh himself 
was probably happily eating curry and rice with his 
fingers. 

Anemone thought it an excellent plan to leave 
entertaining to the table appointments, but that was 
perhaps only because there was a ladies' night at a 
mess where we had promised to dine. The mere 
sound of "The Koast Beef of Old England" with 
which the band ushered us in to dinner put us into 
a fever, and it was still more heating to find our- 
selves stationed near a bonfire after mess. The officers 
explained that they had not gone mad, as we feared, 
but that the Khattaks were going to dance, and needed 
every incentive to frenzy. Personally, we thought a 
block of ice would have been more stimulating, and 
certainly more becoming in its effect. 

The Khattaks are a tribe of the Pathans, the fierce 
warlike frontier men who make such excellent soldiers 
under British discipline. They are quick to take offence 
and treacherous, or rather, as our hosts described, are 
very touchy on particular subjects, and consider that 
only blood can wipe out certain insults. A Pathan 
might take no notice of twenty terms of abuse, and 
then a twenty-first perhaps much milder in an Eng- 
lishman's estimation might make him instantly murder 
his detractor. At this information I saw Anemone 
survey the Khattaks anxiously. She was unusually 
silent all the evening, and explained afterwards that, 
although she was not given to being abusive, she felt it 
best to be on the safe side when one had no idea what 
expressions might offend the Pathans. 

The Khattaks decidedly did not look like people to 




THEY LEAPT IN THE AIR LIKE THE PROPHETS OF BAAL. 



RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN. 451 

be trifled with. They wore loose white trousers and 
long loose coats. Some had turbans ; others were very 
unkempt, with their straight black hair sticking out 
round their heads like parodies of halos. Pipes squealed 
and tom-toms were banged while the performers did 
slow pas seuls round the bonfire, waving their arms 
above their heads and every now and then shrieking 
wildly. 

By degrees the music grew louder and the Khattaks 
more and more frenzied. They seized curved swords, 
which they brandished and whirled, and they leapt in 
the air like the prophets of Baal, though they were too 
marvellously clever to cut themselves. As some fell 
back exhausted others rushed up to take their places, 
and the clash of steel joined in the banging of tom- 
toms, and the firelight fell on flashing blades and 
excited perspiring faces. 

Suddenly the torn - toming ceased, and the band 
struck up "Father O'Flynn," followed by the "Keel 
of Tullochgorum," " Wapping Old Stairs," "Jingle 
Bells," one of the Canadian college songs, and many 
others that carried us backwards and forwards from 
one part of the world to the other, and with the 
tom-toms that had gone before merged the ancient 
history of Vedic India into the annals of the widest- 
spread Empire. 

And now the time had come for Benjamin and 
Anemone to pay a visit to the little hub of British 
India. Never to have known Nikko in Japan is never 
to have known beauty, but never to have known Simla 
is never to have known society, never to have known 
life, from a certain Anglo-Indian standpoint; and to 
miss converting day and night into a perpetual set 
of kitchen lancers, as it is said to be possible to do 
there, was certainly to dub oneself a pariah to society 
and a pariah I remained, and was galloped away 



452 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

with in a tonga to Murree, while Benjamin and 
Anemone went to Simla. 

Theirs was a long journey. Mine only occupied a few 
hours. The little knock-kneed ponies took the steep 
road at a gallop, and we raced past lines of camels, 
past men and bullocks resting after a night of travel, 
and past all sorts of strange, queer-capped pedestrians. 
The mountaineers were very Judaic in appearance, and 
looked like resuscitated characters out of the Old Testa- 
ment. We only paused to change ponies every few 
miles, when we were surrounded by armless and leg- 
less beggars, and musicians who scraped on instru- 
ments violin fashion, and produced sounds like the 
skirl of bagpipes ; while at one stopping - place a 
boy sang of the " Zakhmi Dil " (the wounded heart) 
with a nasal accent that spoilt the sentiment, it 
was so reminiscent of an American selection on the 
gramophone. 

Sometimes our pace was interfered with by coolies 
at work on the roads, and worthy of taking out patents 
for leisurely methods of minimising labour. Some dig- 
ging was being accomplished by a man who languidly 
inserted a spade, while a friend pulled it out by a string 
by way of rendering assistance. 

At first the hills were bare, but as we climbed higher 
we came to trees and vegetation, till at last the wooded 
heights round Murree were reached, and the dry thirsty 
plains and the giant snow-capped hills were seen in 
vistas through forests of holm oaks and deodars. Only 
a few miles off, as the crow flies, was Kashmir, the 
paradise of the Anglo-Indian. A little beyond Murree 
were Dungla Gali and Changla Gali, with fresh views 
of the eternal snows, and their own heights covered 
with the brightest flowers. Here and there white tents 
were pitched among the trees, and in every direction 
there were sounds of rifle practice and firing, till the 



RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN. 453 

bugles rang out, " Let 'em alone ; let 'em alone," the 
call for " Cease fire." 

The lights and shades of evening often made the 
plains look like the wave-swept sea they probably were 
in past ages ; then the mists descended and tucked 
them away in soft, fluffy clouds till the morning. "When 
the moon rose and gleamed on the snowy heights the 
mountain valleys were blotted out in inky shadows. 
It would have been no surprise to see elves and goblins 
appear and dance together in the moonbeams. There 
seemed no need of a "yogi" to fetch them forth by 
incantations ; and one was scarcely startled by long 
piercing cries, followed by a wild tumult of yelping 
and yapping, and the mountains tossed the reverbera- 
tion backwards and forwards, as though in play, long 
after the jackals had scampered away in the distance. 
Then again all was as still and calm as the round moon 
that rode across the sky, until the morning star gleamed 
and dawn tinted the white peaks and brought a fresh 
circle of beautiful hours to be spent under the deodars 
of the Himalayas. 

Benjamin and Anemone soon left Simla, and wrote 
to me to join them in Lahore. And there I found 
them searching through the shops for household 
appointments of British make, a most wearying occu- 
pation, and useless too, for at the end of the day 
Benjamin went through the purchases and enumerated 
worthless Japanese matches, unserviceable Austrian 
lamps, lamp chimneys made in Belgium, French oil- 
man's stores, German and Austrian buttons that refused 
to button, he said ; but he was so exasperated by all the 
" cheap and nasty " of foreign make that he had been 
obliged to provide himself with, while petitions came 
to him from England to help the British unemployed, 
that Anemone thought the buttons were perhaps not 
given a fair test. Millionaire globe-trotters and itiner- 



454 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

ant Members of Parliament are not obliged to study 
household economics on their imperial pilgrimages 
the more the pity, no doubt. 

It was a relief, though, when Benjamin and Anemone 
could divert their attention from shopping to the sights 
of Lahore the big mosque, the marble tomb of Eanjit 
Singh, and the palace where we noticed a beautiful 
little marble building with the roof sloping downwards, 
in contrast to the upward curves of Chinese archi- 
tecture. In another direction we found the Shala Bagh, 
the garden of shade, where the flowers, the water, the 
white marble, were a cooling refreshment after the 
dusty streets of the capital of the Punjab. There an 
old Indian soothsayer came and squatted before us, 
and without touching us covered the palms of our 
hands in some mysterious way with strange cabalistic 
signs, from which he read our fates. 

" The Lady Sahib is woman," he announced, " but 
the Lady Sahib have gentleman's head, and the Lady 
Sahib have more brave heart than plenty gentle- 
mans " all of which sounded so complimentary that 
Anemone and I only regretted not being certain as 
to which of us these observations referred. " Both 
Lady Sahibs cross water," he continued, growing 
slightly more explicit; "one Lady Sahib go palm 
country; one Lady Sahib telegram call to England 
by New Year." Then, in an access of politeness by 
way of paying his very highest compliment, he an- 
nounced : " The Lady Sahib will have twelve children 
and grow so fat she can no more walk." This I in- 
sisted could only refer to Anemone, who at once, to 
the soothsayer's astonishment, brought the fortune- 
telling to an abrupt close. However, as she soon 
decided, it was too hot in Lahore to give way to in- 
dignation, and we were very thankful to leave as soon 
as we could for the beautiful luxuriant country a short 



RAWAL PINDI, MURREE, LAHORE, DEHRA DUN. 455 

way to the north of the parched plains, from which 
so many tourists draw their only conclusions as to 
Indian scenery. 

We passed the Ganges and Hurdwar, one of the 
old sacred cities. We went through the Sawaliks, 
the foot-hills, and thick jungle was a relief to the 
eyes after the bareness of the Punjab. Then the 
train drew up at the terminus, Dehra Dun. 

The Dun is a plateau in the North- West Provinces 
between the foot-hills and the Himalayas, and as we 
drove along the wooded roads of Dehra, past com- 
pounds full of flowers, and looked across stretches of 
grass-covered country backed by ranges of mountains, 
we decided that, as far as looks went, the Dun would be 
hard to beat. Yet the glory of Dehra had departed. 
Once it had been a great racing centre, of which tumble- 
down stables were all that remained in evidence, and 
residentially Dehra looked depressingly>ass&, Anemone 
thought, in spite of the Gurkhas who abounded and 
felt equal to imparting any amount of style on their 
own account. 

The bazaar, of course, was picturesque, with the 
simple life practised out of doors, right under one's 
eyes, to an extent that was almost embarrassing. 
" Painter of all things," a placard announced one man ; 
while outside another shop was inscribed, " Short 
accounts make long friends, so please do not ask for 
trust " a really touching petition. Indeed, the native 
of India is full of pathos. He is not belied by his big, 
sad eyes. 

Our own garden at Dehra was what we appreciated 
most. It had been the Government botanical garden 
in bygone days, and it still grew the original tea 
bushes imported from China as an experiment to see 
how tea would flourish at Dehra Dun. There were 
beautiful lawns and a summer-house, a rose garden 



456 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

with masses of pink blossoms, a plantation of bamboos, 
plantains and pumeloes, and an avenue of a tall kind 
of pointed yew trees, above which the moon sailed at 
night, turning the black shadows silver. We did not 
wonder that some one had named our surroundings 
" Chand Bagh," the Garden of the Moon. 

We could hardly tear ourselves away to spend a 
few days at Mussoorie ; and when we returned it was 
not to remain for long, as the old soothsayer's pro- 
phecies began to be fulfilled with what Anemone 
considered alarming accuracy on account of his final 
prognostications. Benjamin received orders that sent 
him to Burma, and I was invited to go back to Kawal 
Pindi to see something of the cold weather. And so 
Anemone and I finished our joint experiences, and 
wished each other a long good-bye in "Chand Bagh" 
the Garden of the Moon. 



457 



CHAPTER XXXIII. 

RAWAL PINDI, PESHAWAR, AND JOURNEY FROM 
BOMBAY TO LONDON. 

EAWAL PINDI in November was very different to the 
Pindi we had known at the season of the brain-fever bird. 
The stars still blazed at night, but the clear air was 
almost frosty, and one found oneself jumping out of the 
way of the cold water at one's morning tub. In Novem- 
ber Princess Pleasure had already awakened at the tread 
of the Cold Weather Prince. In every direction bands 
played and soldiers were drilled from the moment that 
reveille awoke one like the trump of doom to nothing 
more startling than " chota hazri " and the morning 
canter. Sometimes sociability was carried to the length 
of picnicking soon after dawn an hour at which one 
does not adore one's fellows as a rule, but is inclined to 
feel independent and self-satisfied. During the course 
of the morning there were generally calls to be paid, 
mid-day being the unseasonable season for visiting in 
most parts of India. After tiffin and a rest came the 
turn for croquet, golf, or tennis, followed by an hour at 
the Club, where punkahs were now dispensed with, but 
the men still gathered round the table of drinks 
" the place where the wild asses quenched their thirst," 
as the ladies called it in private. After dinner, dancing 
usually merged one long Indian day into another, and 



458 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GEISELDA. 

then, after a short sleep, once more reveille awoke one 
to another energetic round of hours. 

" She can dance, she can play the piano, she drives 
in her carriage, she is quite like an English lady," was 
once said of an Eurasian girl by her proud and doting 
mother, and I felt I was really living up to this great 
ideal of the feminine Briton. But it was rather a 
pleasant change to take the train and travel across 
the wide Indus, and past the Attock forts to the 
terminus at Peshawar. One did not wonder at its 
history of strife as one looked at the wild bare country 
that surrounded the cantonment, where gardens with 
flower-beds tried to bring about an armistice with 
rugged nature. On the north the Himalayas rose into 
the clouds. Close by on the west one could see the 
break in the Afghan hills where the Khaibar Pass led 
across into Afghanistan. None but fierce fighting 
races could people such a gaunt wilderness, which would 
not even produce scrub were it not for the stones that 
give some shade, and so allow a little moisture to 
fertilise the universal barrenness. 

We drove out to Jumrud and took a photograph 
of the fort, where a lady and a little girl were help- 
ing to keep the outposts of Empire. We tried to 
snapshot the natives, but they were very coy and 
insisted on hiding their faces. Most of them were 
Afridis, and were quite fair, with grey eyes. Many 
had good faces, though a few were rather evil-looking, 
and their poshtins great sheep - skin coats, em- 
broidered in orange or yellow on the outsides added 
to their fantastic appearance. We drove across the 
Khaibar Pass to Ali Musjid, along the winding road 
between the bare rocky hills, where block-houses were 
perched at intervals, and we occasionally caught the 
gleam of the muskets of the Khaibar rifles. Once or 
twice we met long processions of laden camels and 



RAWAL PINDI, PESHAWAR, AND BOMBAY TO LONDON. 459 

donkeys in charge of wild hill tribesmen and escorted 
by Indian soldiers. It was good to feel under their 
protection and realise that the " Khalsa," the fierce 
brotherhood-in-arms of the fighting men of the Punjab, 
now wielded the sword to defend the peasant's pruning- 
hook, and took their part in the establishment of 
" peace on earth, good will towards men," the ultimate 
mission of the British Empire, though it is likely to 
take some time to succeed in the native city of 
Peshawar, where two murders a-day were still said to 
be the average. 

Presumably it was atavism recurrence to original 
savage ancestors that made me stipulate to be taken 
through the city directly I heard it had the worst 
repute of any in India. But the murders did not 
happen to be taking place just then. The streets were 
peaceable, though they were crowded with laden ani- 
mals, beggars displaying remnants of limbs, rollicking 
children, fierce-looking men, purdah women draggling 
their white coverings through the dirt ; and once we 
passed an old low - caste hag whose features showed 
traces of a beauty that could have made her the rage of 
a London season. We made a number of purchases at 
a shop whose owner ostentatiously styled himself " the 
only honest man in Peshawar," and gave us " bak- 
sheesh " for bringing him luck, by way of further estab- 
lishing his self - righteousness. Then we passed out 
from among the flat -roofed houses and the jostling 
throng, of which each unit, so all important to himself 
or herself, was to us merely merged into the pictorial 
effects of Peshawar. That is what is always depressing 
about a crowd. It makes one feel how very, very few 
can rise to be landmarks, how most must be contented 
to be part of the general scenery. Still, that does not 
lessen the responsibility of either defacing or improving 
the landscape. 



460 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

Some excitement was needed after such a tame visit 
to India's most turbulent city, so it only seemed appro- 
priate on my return to find a cablegram awaiting me 
and the fortune-teller's prophecy fulfilled by Joseph 
settling my movements. He had wired, " Come Eng- 
land am on track pseudo american," and since he 
apparently could not help himself to a helpmeet with- 
out help there was nothing for it but to start for 
Bombay immediately. Even Agra and the Taj had to 
be passed by unvisited. There was only time to buy a 
model of the unrivalled monument to love, and hope 
that it would be an appropriate present to carry home 
to Joseph, and then wave good-bye to India and 
stately Bombay from the deck of a P. and 0. liner. 

The first person to be seen on board was the itiner- 
ant M.P., who had again been touring through the 
Empire with the praiseworthy object of undertaking 
its management from an all-comprehensive standpoint. 
The only drawback to this was that, as his time was 
limited, he had naturally to settle most of his opinions 
before he started, and he had not been treated every- 
where to local curry and rice to burn away all pre- 
conceived delusions. I could not help remarking that 
I thought it would be simpler and more rational for 
India and the Colonies to send their own representa- 
tives to Westminster to settle imperial matters, and 
in this way the makers of Empire the soldiers, sailors, 
civil servants, merchants, missionaries, all the imperial 
pioneers could have some voice in the choice of the 
rulers of Empire. I pointed out the Swedish quarter- 
masters, and asked if beneficence to foreigners had not 
been the manifest result of confining the electorate 
principally to the villages and slums of the British 
Islands. 

"Let them elect representatives certainly, but do 
not," I begged, " continue the unjust system which 



RAWAL PINDI, PESHAWAR, AND BOMBAY TO LONDON. 461 

leaves the makers of Greater Britain totally unrep- 
resented." 

The itinerant M.P. said he would think about it, and 
mentioned amendments to redistribution bills, the very 
sound of which remark seemed to call forth echoes of 
the cry, " D-i-v-i-s-i-o-n " ; and as one remembered the 
scuttling figures crowding into the lobbies of the House 
" ayes to the right and noes to the left," as if they 
were practising facial calisthenics one ceased to won- 
der that no Imperial Parliament had been summoned 
to a building devoid as yet of an electrical apparatus 
for registering votes and saving the belated minutes 
dedicated to edict-making. 

However, with lungs filled with the ozone of the sea, 
one's thoughts could not dwell for long on anything so 
stuffy as Westminster's debating chamber. Even the 
Ked Sea was bracing in December, and inspired one to 
pace the decks and sniff the breezes. As we passed 
through the Suez Canal the desert looked as if it had 
been indulging in a snow-storm, the sand gleamed so 
white in the light of the moon in which the dainty 
lady sat, resting her shapely head on her hand, and 
the itinerant M.P. acknowledged that it was reserved 
for her gracious Majesty to have her portrait in the 
sky, and that the lady in the moon was a likeness of 
Queen Alexandra. 

Searchlights stalked like spectres across the vessel's 
bows, and vanished in the solitary wastes that once 
proclaimed to Mohammed the Unity of the Creator, just 
as the varying heights and depths of a mighty moun- 
tain-range inspired men with pantheism, and the teem- 
ing humanity of the Indian plains convinced Gautama 
that men must help themselves and work out their own 
salvation the threefold aspect of revealed belief that 
seems combined in the Trinity in Unity of Christian- 
ity. But an old Professor on board declared that 



462 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

natural surroundings could have no such messages to 
deliver, since he was convinced of the non-existence 
of soul, and had, he boasted, persuaded his portly wife 
into the same opinion. It was not a becoming belief, 
for having no soul she had run to hips, the rather 
common fate of people who are content to be only 
animals. 

" Sleep proves the impossibility of an after-life, for 
what is sleep but oblivion ? " observed the old Professor, 
who seemed to have forgotten that the whole object of 
sleep is to restore one to newness of life and vigour, 
and that night is always followed by morning. 

On that occasion the dawn broke as we steamed from 
Port Said, and gave us a last glimpse of the shiny East 
flaming with rosy brilliance. Then mists descended. 
The Orient was blotted out, and we knew ourselves to 
be back in sober - toned Europe. Stromboli did its 
utmost to brighten things up, and gave us a special 
exhibition of fireworks, which came in appropriately, as 
we were celebrating Christmas on board, and the itin- 
erant M.P. was in his element standing over the boar's 
head making speeches. 

At Marseilles a voluminous letter reached me from 
Joseph. The pseudo-American was at Whitehall Court 
with her parents, so he had taken rooms there, and I 
must join him instead of going straight home, as his 
affairs might require assistance. This much I gathered 
from the course of several sheets of circumlocution on 
the subject of a tall slim figure and a small neat head 
that more and more met with his approval. I thought 
his acquaintance with both might as well be a little 
more prolonged, so I wrote back that I was going the 
long sea-route, and that he had better meet me at the 
docks in London. 

Almost all the passengers left at Marseilles, and could 
not understand my declining to follow their example. 



RAWAL PINDI, PESHAWAR, AND BOMBAY TO LONDON. 463 

They wished me good-bye with the deepest sympathy, 
evidently considering that I must be deserted of all my 
friends, and that I wished to travel through the Bay of 
Biscay for the express purpose of committing suicide. 
It was beyond their comprehension that any one could 
want a quiet time alone with the Globe, after having 
made such friends with it under so many varied aspects. 
I had to accept their condolences to avoid being rude ; 
and, as it happened, I really had a right to them, for a 
lunatic came on board, and the confines of even a royal 
mail-packet are unpleasantly restricted when they have 
to be shared with a madman. It was a relief to reach 
Gibraltar and be joined by a nice married couple, though 
their presence inspired the lunatic with boldness. He 
now confided what he said he had kept a state secret 
hitherto namely, that he was a monarch travelling 
incognito. 

" All I need," he said to me, " is to be anchored to 
my throne. Will you be my anchor ? " 

I parried the royal command while I crossed the deck, 
and then evaded it by tumbling down the companion- 
way in my hurry. 

As all hope of solitude with Nature was at an end, it 
seemed better to land at Plymouth. The lunatic then 
settled to go ashore too, so I returned to the vessel. 
The next minute the lunatic followed, so once more 
I went on board the tender. After me again came the 
lunatic, and before I could escape back to the steamer 
the gangway was pulled away, and the lunatic, the little 
couple and I were carried through drizzling rain to 
Plymouth. 

When we reached the landing-stage the lunatic had 
disappeared, and I arranged with the little couple to go 
to an hotel for the night, as it was too late to leave for 
London. Arrived at the hotel, we found preparations 
had already been made for us, and we noticed that we 



464 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

were received with a good deal of flurried excitement. 
The explanation ensued in the person of the lunatic. 
He bore down on us across the hall, rubbing his hands, 
and announced that he had let everybody know that 
we were certain Eoyalties who were expected about that 
time in England. We took advantage of our fictitious 
rank to order an early dinner in a private room, and 
suffered the royal disadvantage of being peeped at 
through the keyhole. Then we drove off to the panto- 
mime while the lunatic was still occupied in the general 
dining-room. When we came back we found a note 
from him to say that he had gone to bed, but would be 
up in time to start with us for London next morning. 
So we restricted our hours of sleep, and got up while it 
was dark, and set out stealthily on our way while the 
lunatic was doubtless still snoring. 

Merry England again, with the southerly wind and 
the cloudy sky that proclaimed it a hunting morning. 
From the train the scenery looked well groomed, so to 
speak, and proper and genteel compared with many of 
the wild expanses one had met with elsewhere in the 
Empire. Hedges confined the divisions of country every- 
where, like conventionality marking out the grooves in 
the minds of correct Anglo-Saxons. Still the hills and 
dales of Devon looked so truly loveable one longed to 
get out and kiss them. We paused at Bristol and rushed 
through Bath, and soon reached the Thames, flowing on 
its tranquil, well-bred way between the woods and 
meadows of Goring and Pangbourne. Before long the 
leaden sky grew greyer than before, and the atmosphere 
announced our entry into the Empire's capital. 

In nty agitation at turning into Eoyalty unawares 
I had forgotten to forewarn any one of my change 
of plans, and so had anything but a royal reception. 
However, the little couple saw me into a cab, and I was 
driven through the old familiar streets till I began to 



RAWAL PINDI, PESHAWAR, AND BOMBAY TO LONDON. 465 

wonder if I had ever gone away and left them. All 
seemed so unchanged, the hurrying crowds, the shops, 
the Park, the sun staring down through a veil of smoke 
and fog, and most apoplectic in complexion. During 
my wanderings Dover Street had turned into Petticoat 
Lane, it was true, and the great city was not without 
material and psychical transformations. But, as a 
whole, it was just the same London where one had 
laughed and cried in the past and would laugh and cry 
again in the future. The London that does not care a 
bit whether you come or go, and which, with human 
contrariness, you love for that very reason. And yet 
it is not without feeling, for it is the great heart that 
sends its life-blood coursing through the arteries and 
veins of Empire, and so on it must ever depend the 
vitality of the whole system, unless the Colonies are to 
roll themselves apart, amoeba -like, into petty, unim- 
portant independencies. But there need be no fear of 
that if the heart -beats can be kept strong by the 
tonic patriotism. So it was good to be back once 
more in the old familiar scenes, and for a time ex- 
change Greater Britain and Far Cathay for Bond 
Street shops and Ranelagh lawns and afternoon tea 
on the Terrace. 

I reached Whitehall Court, had my boxes taken 
down, and asked the hall-porter for Joseph. He said 
he knew he was in, but he was very specially occupied. 
This I could quite imagine, and as I did not hanker to 
become a gooseberry at once, I asked to be directed 
to my room, and said I would see the gentleman a 
little later. 

I was taken upstairs in a lift, and then guided by 
a chamber-maid to a door outside which a dozen men 
in top-hats and frock-coats were pacing up and down 
in a restless, feverish way, glaring suspiciously at one 
another. 

2 G 



466 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GRISELDA. 

The maid opened the door. " This is the room pre- 
pared for you," she said, whereupon the dozen men 
crowded after me into the gap, but I shut the door 
severely in their faces. It was agitating, after travelling 
safely round the world, to find oneself mobbed in a 
London bedroom. But I did not wonder at it as I 
looked about and saw that the bed, the dressing-table, 
the chest of drawers, the washing-stand, were all blazing 
with rubies and emeralds and diamonds. Necklaces 
were suspended from the looking-glass, muff chains 
hung over the towel-horse, rings were in the soap-dish, 
bracelets covered the toilet- trays, and pendants gleamed 
on the counterpane. Had I come to Golconda instead 
of London after all, or was I suffering from optical 
delusion? Suddenly a tall girl with a small head 
emerged from a window recess, and behind her followed 
Joseph. Inquiry was needless, since Joseph was there 
as enigma and solution respectively. 

" Hullo, Griselda ! Arrived already ? " he said. 
" You haven't given me a chance to go and meet you. 
But good luck ! You're in time to help us with the 
bridesmaids' presents, though Irene and I have about 
decided." 

Bridesmaids' presents and the use of the Christian 
name showed plainly that he required no more help in 
preliminary matters ; and as I looked into the face of 
the tall girl with the small head I saw that, as usual, 
Joseph was lucky. 

Just then we were interrupted by a tirade at the 
door. There appeared to be some disagreement among 
the top-hatted, frock-coated gentlemen. 

'" Bother those chaps," said Joseph. " They wouldn't 
go away. I told them I'd take care of everything. 
I just went round to Percy Edwards' and Benson's and 
the Gold and Silversmiths, and the other good places, 



RAWAL PINDI, PESHAWAR, AND BOMBAY TO LONDON. 467 

and told them to send up selections. They seemed 
annoyed when they found each other here. Kidiculous ! 
How can any one choose without comparing ? " He 
flung open the door. " Here, you can all clear out now 
except one. The things we like all come from the same 
place, as it happens." 

And so the representatives of Percy Edwards', 
Benson's, the Gold and Silversmiths', &c., packed up 
their valuables morosely, and departed with thousands 
of pounds' worth of jewellery. 

" Is this quite usual ? " asked a startled voice ; and 
Joseph took the opportunity to introduce me to Irene's 
mother. 

" It's a little way we have in the East," I explained 
" our methods with tambis and box wallahs. Joseph 
forgets he's in London." 

Indeed Joseph was oblivious to everything except a 
diamond ring, or rather the finger on which he was 
fitting it, so I suggested that I would not wait but 
would go home at once, as after all my wanderings it 
seemed high time for me to pose as the central figure 
of a family tableau. 

All the same this had its disadvantages, as one grew 
tired of the repetition of stock adventures, unmentioned 
here because one could not bring oneself to repeat them 
a single time oftener. But Anemone said my trials in 
that respect were nothing compared to hers when she 
came home a year or two later, and was expected to 
give accounts of the Boxer rising and the eight Allies, 
and other such subjects that are by now relegated to 
ancient history. 

"Do produce the answers on paper, Griselda," she 
begged. "It is not, of course, that I expect you to 
write anything worth reading," she added with sisterly 
candour. " But when I am asked whether the Japanese 



468 THE GLOBULAR JOTTINGS OF GIUSELDA. 

were the same aggravating paragons in 1900 that they 
are now, and whether the Chinese are really the salt 
of the earth, it will be such a mercy to be able to 
say, 'Please, let me refer you to page so-and-so of 
Griselda's Globular Jottings. " : 



THE END. 



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UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY