The Anwar Trial Top 5

Top 5 reasons why Ummi 'Awful-da!' Ali was late for her first court appearance

5. She needed to coordinate her outfit with her TV celebrity brother Azwan

4. She was wearing the same hairdo as Ziela and had to go back to the hairdressers

3. She was drafting her acceptance speech for the Father's Day "Daughter of the Year Award" ceremony

2. She was stuck in yet another local newspaper interview about how she was "masih dara"...

And the top reason why Ummi was late for her court appearance:

1. She had to rush home because she left behind that picture of Anwar which she carries around in her handbag

Top 5 rejected newspaper headlines for the ex-SB Chief's testimony

5. "SB Chief Forgets to Lie in Court"

4. "SB Chief Loses His Solid Grip Under Questioning"

3. "SB Chief Tells Truth, Prosecution Confounded"

2. "SB Chief Pleads Stupidity"

And the top headline from SB Chief Mohd Said:

1. "SB Chief Demonstrates 'turning over' techniques on self"