Not The New Straits Times

April 2000

Published twice monthly


Thousands run riot in Kuala Lumpur

US criticises police crackdown on demos

Police recover lethal weapon from Reformasi supporter

Opticians donate glasses to NUJ

Human Rights Commission not an April Fool joke

Mahahtir's call to restore democracy not an April Fool joke

Malaysia in danger of losing world record

Melaka Wall to prevent entry of 'bad influences'

Singapore apology media reports

Philippines rejects hostage rescue plan

Foreign Ministry denies G77 rumour

UMNO sends fact-finding mission to Zimbabwe

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Police recover lethal weapon from Reformasi supporter
Police prevented what could have been dozens of tragic deaths during the April 14th demonstrations when they recovered a plastic toy gun from a Reformasi supporter. A Police spokesman who refused to be named described the weapon as a "0.22 calibre made-in-Taiwan Magnum water pistol", adding that the suspect also carried ammunition in the form of half a bottle of mineral water.

Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad had earlier warned that Reformasi demonstrators would "bring sharp weapons, sticks and make Molotov cocktails to attack the police". The Police spokesman conceded that no such sharp weapons, sticks or petrol bombs were recovered. "However, as you can see, this water pistol is by far more lethal," he warned as he fired a thin squirt of water more than three feet into the air. "You can catch a terrible cold if it hits you at the right spot. It might even stain your uniform."

"How can the police force stand up against this kind of firepower when we are just lightly-armed with water cannons, revolvers, automatic pistols, high-velocity automatic rifles and sub-machine guns?" he lamented.

Following this highly successful haul, police raided kindergartens, primary schools and playgrounds all across the capital, seizing a veritable arsenal of deadly weapons. Among the seizures were three baby rattles, a bag of rubber bands, a dozen marbles and a plastic battery-powered Darth Vader sword that glows. Police suspect the arms are being illegally smuggled into the country by a shadowy US-based CIA-controlled company called Toys-R-Us.

Police search women for
hidden toy pistols

Opticians donate RM5 million worth of glasses to NUJ

A normal weekend in KL
The National Association Opticians in Malaysia this month donated over RM5 million worth of spectacles, contact lenses and eye-care products to the National Union of Journalists.

This generous donation follows widespread local news reports that violent demonstrations did not occur in Kuala Lumpur on April 14 and that the situation was "just like any other normal weekend".

"Even a blind, deaf and dumb man walking in KL that day would have known that hundreds of people were being chased all over town by thousands of policemen," said an optician who refused to be named.

"The National Mosque was cloaked in tear gas. Water cannons were spraying the length of Jalan TAR. The rest of the city looked like a police barracks. And the local press couldn't see all of this?! They must all have major eye problems."

The optician added that local journalists also exhibited many other symptoms of chronic eye disease. "They seem to turn a blind eye to injustice, frequently have wool pulled over their eyes on corruption and do not seem to see anything wrong with government."

He lamented that most Malaysians were generally suffering from deteriorating eyesight. "Maybe it's because of all the reading between the lines that we have to do," he noted.