Not The New Straits Times


April 2000


Published twice monthly


IN THIS ISSUE

Thousands run riot in Kuala Lumpur

US criticises police crackdown on demos

Police recover lethal weapon from Reformasi supporter

Opticians donate glasses to NUJ

Human Rights Commission not an April Fool joke

Mahahtir's call to restore democracy not an April Fool joke

Malaysia in danger of losing world record

Melaka Wall to prevent entry of 'bad influences'

Singapore apology media reports

Philippines rejects hostage rescue plan

Foreign Ministry denies G77 rumour

UMNO sends fact-finding mission to Zimbabwe



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Human Rights Commission not an April Fool joke
A spokesman for the Malaysian Human Rights Commission denied that the announcement of the Commission in the media early this month was a belated April Fool's joke. "No, guys, we're serious, there really is a human rights commission, no kidding ….," he emphasised to a disbelieving press conference.

Suspicion grew further when it was realised that the Commission's name in Bahasa Malaysia is 'Suruhanjaya Hak Asasi Manusia', or SHAM for short.

Interviews with members of the public revealed that there seemed to be a strong undercurrent of suspicion over the announcement. When asked in surveys if they knew of the Malaysian Human Rights Commission, responses ranged from uncontrollable laughter to comments such as "Yeah, riiiiggghtttt…. and pigs can fly…", "Go on, pull the other leg …." , "Isn't that an oxymoron?" and "Hey, April Fool was yesterday!"

"A Malaysian Human Rights Commission?!" said one startled interviewee. "Suuurree … what's next? An UMNO anti-corruption panel?"


A Malaysian expresses surprise
on learning of the existence
of a human rights commission


The Commission will be holding a competition to design its logo as part of efforts to create greater awareness of its objectives and programmes. One of the more innovative designs submitted is an illustration of three monkeys, each in turn shutting its ears, eyes and mouth.


Mahathir's call to restore democracy in Pakistan not an April Fool joke


Musharraf: Committed to democracry
(... hee hee...)


Mahathir: Committed to democracry
as well (...hahahahaha!!!!)...

A Foreign Ministry spokesman denied that Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad's call for a restoration of democracy in Pakistan was an April Fool's joke. In a shock announcement that resulted in mass vomitting across the country, Mahathir urged visiting Pakistan strongman General Pervez Musharraf to restore democracy in his country. Mahathir induced even more vomitting when he called for Pakistan's leading political prisoner to be given " a fair trial".

"The Prime Minister was quite serious in making the call," said a spokesman who refused to be named. "It was not a gag, he was not kidding … heee hee …hehe heh … He is as committed to democracy in Pakistan as he is … hee hee … committed to … ha ha … democracy in Malaysia …. Hahahahaha!!!!"

The spokesman also denied accusations that Mahathir would not be able to recognise a "fair trial" if it hit him on the head. "The Prime Minister is quite serious in calling for ex-PM Nawaz Sharif to be given a fair trial. After that, Musharraf can shoot Nawaz anytime he likes."

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