Not The New Straits Times

February 29, 2000

Published twice monthly


Mahathir home from holidays

UMNO organised APCET riot

Millenium jump team makes second attempt for the Pole

UMNO to target youth

More efforts to eradicate Bahasa Baku

ISA does not erode human rights

Rafidah explains share allotments to son-in-law

Foreigners out to recolonise us invade our borders

High tech boost for schoolkids

UMNO Supreme Council urges Ku Li to keep promise

FEATURE: 30 Dalils why Mahathir cannot be a witness at the Anwar Ibrahim trial

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30 Dalils why Mahathir cannot be a witness at the Anwar Ibrahim trial

This February, High Court Judge Ariffin Jaka put off a decision on whether Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad can be forced to testify at the sodomy trial of former Deputy Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim. The High Court Judge said he needed to hear arguments from Anwar's lawyers, who subpoenaed Mahathir four months ago, on why they felt Mahathir's testimony was crucial in defending the former Deputy Prime Minister. 'Not The New Straits Times', in the meantime, has exclusively received the following secret document - '30 Dalils Why Mahathir Cannot Be A Witness at Anwar Ibrahim's Trial' - to counter the defence team's arguments:

Dalil 1: Mahathir does not want to be placed at the same level as a bankrupt 32-year old virgin and a stained mattress

Dalil 2: He might cause one of the mounted policemen guarding the court compound to fall off his horse.

Dalil 3: High Court Judge Ariffin Jaka already told him to stop shooting his mouth off about the Anwar case.

Dalil 4: He might testify that the sodomy was self-inflicted.

Another credible witness arrives in court
Dalil 5: The court still remembers Mahathir's famous quote of 1988: "Hang the lawyers! Hang the judges!"

Dalil 6: He might join the pro-Anwar demonstrators outside the courthouse and persuade them to march on Seattle

Dalil 7: Like a previous witness, he might not be able to remember where, what day and what time the sodomy acts were committed

Dalil 8: The Special Branch haven't turned him over yet

Demonstrators wait outside the High Court to
welcome Mahathir

Dalil 9: He is abiding by the UMNO Supreme Council's 'No Testify' Rule

Dalil 10: He'd already testified to Anwar's guilt in numerous press conferences in Tokyo, New York and London since 1998, apart from his frequent testimonies over the local newspapers and television

Dalil 11: Tengku Razaleigh might sneak up on him from behind while he's busy in court and suddenly become UMNO President

Dalil 12: He couldn't understand the subpoena from Anwar's lawyers because it was in Bahasa Baku

Dalil 13: He'll be away overseas yet again fighting the foreigners out to re-colonise us

Does not want to look stupid
Dalil 14: He does not want to look stupid by repeating his statement in 1997 that anyone who believed the accusations against Anwar was "stupid"

Dalil 15: He would not be the first Prime Minister to appear in court and therefore would not qualify for a placing in the Guinness Book of World Records

Dalil 16: He's hasn't had time to have all of Anwar's lawyers charged for sedition yet

Dalil 17: He doesn't have any ties loud enough to match Ummi Hafilda's outfits

Dalil 18: The last time UMNO was in court, it was declared illegal

The last time UMNO was
in court, it was declared

Dalil 19: He does not believe there is a secret political conspiracy to destroy Anwar - everyone knows it's no secret now

Dalil 20: He is not above the law - he is the law

The remaining 10 Dalils: It's just 10 more campaigning weeks before the UMNO Elections!